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Topic : Fears, Phobias and Anxiety Disorders

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Created on : Thursday, July 07, 2005, 08:58:51 am
Author : dataimport
Do you have an irrational fear of flying, spiders, leaving your home, or one of a host of other fears? Do you suffer from anxiety or panic attacks? You're not alone. Join those who understand as we struggle to overcome our fears.

Anxiety Disorder Resources

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homebnd55
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October 31, 2005, 4:47 pm PST

Hi

Quote From: mmast55

Hi....I saw your post on oprah also and left a message for you.  I too am50 and have been dealing with anxiety for 25+ years.  Lets chat....Mary 

  Hi Mary, my name is Kathy.  I'm glad I got a response.  It will be nice to talk to someone again.  I get so bored.  I don't really have anyone to chat with.  I'm not sure how people talk on here,  I'm not too good with computers .  Oprah's boards are down right now so I can't see that message.  

 would like to hear from you. 

 

                                                                                                   Kathy 

 

                                                                                                                      
 
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miamaria
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November 2, 2005, 5:59 am PST

Afraid of spiders

I have always been afraid of spiders. I don't know why. I live in Sweden and I know very well that there are no dangerous spiders here. I know that they can't hurt me. But that's not really the problem. I think that the thing I hate most about them is the way that it feels when they touch my skin. Their little legs that run over my arms... Huh!! I have long hair and after spending a day outdoors, for example in the forest, I'm not suprised to find a spider in it. Because of my fear I avoid the forest as much as possible. 

  

Some part of me feels that they feel my fear and that's why they seem to be drawn to me. I sometimes think that they look at me and they do look very evil! But at the same time I know that the spiders are not "out to get me". I know they don't want to harm me. But I can easily forget that when I see one.:O/ 

  

Half a year ago I moved to the countryside where I rent a little house. It's not the smartest thing to do if you're afraid of spiders. There are a lot of spiders there! But the positive thing about it is that I'm getting used to them. But not all of them, just the little ones. I don't like them, but I'm not scared of them anymore. Only as little bit afraid, but I can live with that. But the big ones... I don't think I'll ever get accustomed to them. I live on my own (well, I have two cats but they are not much of a help when it comes to throwing out spiders) so I have to get rid of them myself. But it takes time and when the spider is finally out (I can't kill them) my body shakes. It's terrible! 

  

But I'm so happy that my fear isn't that strong anymore and who knows? Some day I might be able to throw out the big ones without being scared! I don't think so now, but you never know! 

  

Please excuse my English... 

  

/Maria 
 
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mmast55
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November 2, 2005, 10:08 am PST

Hi

Quote From: homebnd55

  Hi Mary, my name is Kathy.  I'm glad I got a response.  It will be nice to talk to someone again.  I get so bored.  I don't really have anyone to chat with.  I'm not sure how people talk on here,  I'm not too good with computers .  Oprah's boards are down right now so I can't see that message.  

 would like to hear from you. 

 

                                                                                                   Kathy 

 

                                                                                                                      

Hi Kathy...Thought I'd drop ya a quick line and tell ya a little about myself.  I have been dealing with anxiety since 81.  I was agoraphobic for 10 years.  Tried MANY things to deal with it.  Finally started taking Prozac in 90, which helped tremendously!  I still struggle with general anxiety disorder.  I'm 50, never been married, have no children.  Some of my family live close by, but they have never been helpful.  Quite the opposite, judging and criticizing, and just thinking I'm weird.  They are very toxic for me to be around.  I guess you could say I'm a bit of a loner.  I have a small cleaning business and have currently been taking care of seniors.  Sorry to say,  one man just passed away in August and the woman I was taking care of,  I had to quit that job because of her ECCENTRIC daughter.  So currently I'm just cleaning and need to build that up again.  I had quit alot of jobs because I had started working pretty much full time for the woman.  We were really close.  Her GOOFY daughter interfered big time!  Still have alot of anger toward the daughter!  Can you tell?  Any way, I currently have way too much time on my hands.  Not having enough work keeps me at home too much and by myself.  Not good.  I get pretty squirrely when I spend too much time by myself.  This is where the anxiety comes in.  Don't have any friends, so no where to go and nothing to do!  Not much fun doing things by myself...Scared to try new things.  TIRED of trying!  I know I can't afford to think negative....so I'll get off that line.  Gotta keep trying, the alternative is worse!  Anyway, I guess that's it for now.....Would you rather correspond by E-mail?  I don't think it's a problem to put address on print?  Take care.....Mary 
 
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storyofmyl
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November 2, 2005, 2:03 pm PST

I've Lived w/Fear for so long,I don't know how to live without it.

My name is Tannie,I'm a 39yr old Afr.Am.Woman.I have a FEAR of DRIVING and I WANT SO BADLY to overcome this.I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!  I feel ashamed and embarrassed just about everyday of my life. I have let the fear of making a mistake keep me from driving.It's not that I don't want to drive,but I can't  even make myself just get in a car and attempt to drive.I wish I had the courage,I would like to get my first drivers license before my 40th birthday,Dec.16,2005. I am so disapointed in myself for not being able to move pass my fears.I grew up an only  child in a home with a alcoholic father who verbally abused my mother.Every word that she heard,I heard.Every tear she cried, I cried even more.Sometimes it felt like we were the only two people in the world.I cried more between the age of 8-14 than some do in a lifetime.We left our home a "few"times thru the years, to get away from him.We would stay with relatives,during this time I was molested by 2 young men who were friends of the family.My mother did the best that she could but I never felt safe.Today,both my parents are deceased.I have been married to my wonderful husband Eddie for almost 18yrs,Dec.19,2005.We had infertility problems for close to 15yrs and this did not help the way I was feeling.In Feb. of 2003,God gave us a miracle,I gave birth to a healthy beautiful baby girl.I named her Spirit. We don't have alot,but Spirit is a light of hope that  was needed for so long,she gave me a sense of purpose in my life.I want to be all that my family needs me to be.Not driving has kept me from living my most productive life,I have had to set limits on myself. I have a lack of "drive" for fear of  failure.I don't want to live this way !! Thru the years of wanting a baby, I thought having a baby would make every saddness go away,but it is not that simple. I had worked since I was16,now I enjoy being a stay home mom,but soon I will need to get a job . I need to be able to drive myself ,I don't want to depend on others for a ride. I don't know anyone who is AFRAID to drive.WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? I believe that there is more to this than just me not driving, but how can I get help without money.   I have isolated myself from friends and family,I don't want my child to grow up in this "BOX"with me. I have written to DrPhil and Ms.O for help,but I  know I got lost in the millions.   IT'S ALL UP TO ME.         Please Pray For My Strength 
 
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mmast55
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November 2, 2005, 5:11 pm PST

Hang in there...

Quote From: storyofmyl

My name is Tannie,I'm a 39yr old Afr.Am.Woman.I have a FEAR of DRIVING and I WANT SO BADLY to overcome this.I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!  I feel ashamed and embarrassed just about everyday of my life. I have let the fear of making a mistake keep me from driving.It's not that I don't want to drive,but I can't  even make myself just get in a car and attempt to drive.I wish I had the courage,I would like to get my first drivers license before my 40th birthday,Dec.16,2005. I am so disapointed in myself for not being able to move pass my fears.I grew up an only  child in a home with a alcoholic father who verbally abused my mother.Every word that she heard,I heard.Every tear she cried, I cried even more.Sometimes it felt like we were the only two people in the world.I cried more between the age of 8-14 than some do in a lifetime.We left our home a "few"times thru the years, to get away from him.We would stay with relatives,during this time I was molested by 2 young men who were friends of the family.My mother did the best that she could but I never felt safe.Today,both my parents are deceased.I have been married to my wonderful husband Eddie for almost 18yrs,Dec.19,2005.We had infertility problems for close to 15yrs and this did not help the way I was feeling.In Feb. of 2003,God gave us a miracle,I gave birth to a healthy beautiful baby girl.I named her Spirit. We don't have alot,but Spirit is a light of hope that  was needed for so long,she gave me a sense of purpose in my life.I want to be all that my family needs me to be.Not driving has kept me from living my most productive life,I have had to set limits on myself. I have a lack of "drive" for fear of  failure.I don't want to live this way !! Thru the years of wanting a baby, I thought having a baby would make every saddness go away,but it is not that simple. I had worked since I was16,now I enjoy being a stay home mom,but soon I will need to get a job . I need to be able to drive myself ,I don't want to depend on others for a ride. I don't know anyone who is AFRAID to drive.WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? I believe that there is more to this than just me not driving, but how can I get help without money.   I have isolated myself from friends and family,I don't want my child to grow up in this "BOX"with me. I have written to DrPhil and Ms.O for help,but I  know I got lost in the millions.   IT'S ALL UP TO ME.         Please Pray For My Strength 

Hi Tannie....You're right on target with believing that's there more to your fear of driving, than just driving....Also, it is indeed ALL up to you (don't ya just hate that!).  So, you've already begun to solve your problem.  Really.  There's alot of people out there that haven't figured out what you have already figured out!  You're on the right path!  Plus, ya got God on your side!  (He's a very good person to have on your team I hear!)  Now, don't get me wrong, I LOVE Oprah and Dr. Phil, ( I think they should run for office.)  but I wouldn't sit around wasting preciouse time waiting for them to come to your rescue.  All they can do is give you the tools to solve your problems.  Like you said, "It's all up to you".  There are ALOT of books out there that can help you.  Could you get your husband or someone to take you to a bookstore?  It does indeed sound like you have some other issues.  You are obviously dealing with alot.  Molestation, alcoholic father.  I don't have a clue about how being molested messes ya up.  Just from hearing shows on Oprah.  It sounds like it can really be another whole issue.  I'm far from being an expert, but in general, I think all of the "tragedies" that happen to us when we are young, manifest or create basically the same problems in all of us.  For example:  low self-esteem, people-pleasing, perfectionism, negative thinking, over-eating, over-drinking, over-working, over-shopping and the list goes on and on.  Like Oprah says,  all of these are just a sympton that there is something else going on.  And you have already figured that out.  I've been involved with therapy, 12 step groups for quite awhile.  They really do help if you're willing to do the work.  I've found that having support is extremely important.  Someone to bounce things off of.  I am far from being "cured".  But I keep plugging away.  Today in fact, I'm starting to read a book about anxieties.  It was recommended by a therapist.  It seems to touch on every negative, self-defeating behavior I have.  It is a workbook also.  The author suggests activities at the end of every chapter.  Activities that will challenge this self-defeating behavior.  He suggest that you study each chapter at least 1 week.  I'm actually kinda excited to begin.  The name of the book is:ANXIETY, PHOBIAS, & PANIC. A Step-by-Step Program for Regaining Control of Your Life.  The author is:  Reneau Z. Peurifoy, M.A., M.F.C.C.  It's published by Warner Books.  It's not on the bookshelves.  I had to have the bookstore order it for me.  I'm sure there are many others out there, but I have had this book for a while (procrastination, another issue) and decided to read it.  I hope I have been of some help.  You can learn to cope with all  of your issues.  It can be hard, painful and a pain in the but, but not doing anything is more painful.  Take care, Mary     
 
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lauratexas
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November 2, 2005, 5:31 pm PST

Hang in there! I'm praying for you...

Quote From: storyofmyl

My name is Tannie,I'm a 39yr old Afr.Am.Woman.I have a FEAR of DRIVING and I WANT SO BADLY to overcome this.I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!  I feel ashamed and embarrassed just about everyday of my life. I have let the fear of making a mistake keep me from driving.It's not that I don't want to drive,but I can't  even make myself just get in a car and attempt to drive.I wish I had the courage,I would like to get my first drivers license before my 40th birthday,Dec.16,2005. I am so disapointed in myself for not being able to move pass my fears.I grew up an only  child in a home with a alcoholic father who verbally abused my mother.Every word that she heard,I heard.Every tear she cried, I cried even more.Sometimes it felt like we were the only two people in the world.I cried more between the age of 8-14 than some do in a lifetime.We left our home a "few"times thru the years, to get away from him.We would stay with relatives,during this time I was molested by 2 young men who were friends of the family.My mother did the best that she could but I never felt safe.Today,both my parents are deceased.I have been married to my wonderful husband Eddie for almost 18yrs,Dec.19,2005.We had infertility problems for close to 15yrs and this did not help the way I was feeling.In Feb. of 2003,God gave us a miracle,I gave birth to a healthy beautiful baby girl.I named her Spirit. We don't have alot,but Spirit is a light of hope that  was needed for so long,she gave me a sense of purpose in my life.I want to be all that my family needs me to be.Not driving has kept me from living my most productive life,I have had to set limits on myself. I have a lack of "drive" for fear of  failure.I don't want to live this way !! Thru the years of wanting a baby, I thought having a baby would make every saddness go away,but it is not that simple. I had worked since I was16,now I enjoy being a stay home mom,but soon I will need to get a job . I need to be able to drive myself ,I don't want to depend on others for a ride. I don't know anyone who is AFRAID to drive.WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? I believe that there is more to this than just me not driving, but how can I get help without money.   I have isolated myself from friends and family,I don't want my child to grow up in this "BOX"with me. I have written to DrPhil and Ms.O for help,but I  know I got lost in the millions.   IT'S ALL UP TO ME.         Please Pray For My Strength 

You know, sometimes I would get stuck in my house for weeks at a time. I also get afraid to drive, afraid when anyone leaves the house, afraid of my dreams and even afraid that my fears are really preminitions. I tried religion, meditation, medication..etc. First of all, it CAN get better. Much better. I began to understand that I had a lot of 'crutches' for dealing with pain and fear in my past (I was sexually abused as a child). As I went through therapy I began to lose the ability to rely on things that used to distract me from my fears (alcohol, sex, relationship addictions...) When I recognized that I couldn't fit those behaviors into the life I was living I got rid of them. The problem was, all that was left was FEAR. I had finally come face to face with it. There are a number of ways I dealt with it: 1) I prayed about it and asked God to send me help. 2) I took time to think about my thoughts. I thought "these fears are unfounded", "I can do this", "millions of people do this everyday". If I started having negative thoughts I would say to myself "just because you are thinking this, doesn't make it real" or "Is this what I am really afraid of?" 3) I took a break from watching the news and programs that had disasters as topics. 4) I ate well, exercised and tried to force myself to get some rest. 5) I started seeing a chiropractor that did a neuro-modulation technique that helped my mind and body work more efficiently. It was supposed to help balance out my hormones and increase absorption of vitamins in food and a bunch of other things. My understanding is that my body was still reacting on a 'fight or flight' level or 'panic state'. All kinds of hormones and responses were happening in my body when they shouldn't be. Well, I don't know how it worked but I noticed less panic afterwards. 6) I started giving myself permission to enjoy things in life. I started by taking chances and letting people in. I didn't want to be a needy friend or a doormat so I took things slowly. But, my life coach made me do something drastic. She made me go up to a perfect stranger and ask them for help. In my case, I went up to a person and asked them to pump my gas for me because the fumes made me naseous when I was pregnant. She said I had to learn to ask for what I needed and to love myself enough to accept the gift of someone's help. That was a huge moment for me! After that, I began letting my friends back in my life and asking for help when I needed it so that I didn't gradually become helpless and needy. Well, I could go on but I won't. Just know that you are not alone. There is nothing wrong with you that love won't cure. Love life, love yourself. And if you need help, let me know - LMK
 
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bentonite
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November 2, 2005, 6:11 pm PST

Breathing problems...sex

I have a fear of being held down. When I have sex, and the man is on top, after a few minutes, I start feeling like I'm out of breath, then I concentrate more on the breathing, less on the sex, and then I feel lightheaded, and I want the man off. This has happened with several partners over the last several years, and now that I'm married, the ONLY position we have is doggie style, because any other position that remotely feels like I'm being pressed upon, I can't breathe, and have to stop. Also, if I am laying on the sofa, and someone approaches too close to my head, I panic and will sit up suddenly, or try to roll onto the floor, for fear they are going to sit on me and hold me down on the sofa. I'm also very nervous if I'm sitting on a chair, and a large teenager or adult sits on my lap for more than a minute or so.
 
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usagirl34
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November 2, 2005, 6:58 pm PST

My Biggest Fear

         

      Hi, I guess this would be a great place to find out if there is anyone out there with the same fear as me. It's a fear of Clowns!!!! They scare me to death. I have 4 kids who I can't even take to the circus because of it. Any suggestions on how to overcome this? 
 
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kelli__101
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November 3, 2005, 8:24 am PST

living a lie

i am ready to come clean... on my life. I am a very closed off person, for 12 years now i have not paid taxes an lived off people coming to my residence for" massage""all because my fear is that we are all just a bunch of clothed animals ,living in organized chaos.I dwell on ths day after  day...no one knows becausei don't know anyone.. i have no drive, an feel everythng is an illusion other then food clothing an shelter.i lied to my whole faamilt... for years. I have a brother an a grandma... theydon't know.my mom an i  don't talk...someone???tell me what you think
 
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homebnd55
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November 3, 2005, 5:26 pm PST

Hi Mary

Quote From: mmast55

Hi Kathy...Thought I'd drop ya a quick line and tell ya a little about myself.  I have been dealing with anxiety since 81.  I was agoraphobic for 10 years.  Tried MANY things to deal with it.  Finally started taking Prozac in 90, which helped tremendously!  I still struggle with general anxiety disorder.  I'm 50, never been married, have no children.  Some of my family live close by, but they have never been helpful.  Quite the opposite, judging and criticizing, and just thinking I'm weird.  They are very toxic for me to be around.  I guess you could say I'm a bit of a loner.  I have a small cleaning business and have currently been taking care of seniors.  Sorry to say,  one man just passed away in August and the woman I was taking care of,  I had to quit that job because of her ECCENTRIC daughter.  So currently I'm just cleaning and need to build that up again.  I had quit alot of jobs because I had started working pretty much full time for the woman.  We were really close.  Her GOOFY daughter interfered big time!  Still have alot of anger toward the daughter!  Can you tell?  Any way, I currently have way too much time on my hands.  Not having enough work keeps me at home too much and by myself.  Not good.  I get pretty squirrely when I spend too much time by myself.  This is where the anxiety comes in.  Don't have any friends, so no where to go and nothing to do!  Not much fun doing things by myself...Scared to try new things.  TIRED of trying!  I know I can't afford to think negative....so I'll get off that line.  Gotta keep trying, the alternative is worse!  Anyway, I guess that's it for now.....Would you rather correspond by E-mail?  I don't think it's a problem to put address on print?  Take care.....Mary 

Wanted to get back to you yesterday,  I could'nt get alone time.  I know how it is to feel lonely, bored, nothing to do, no freinds.  I have one that I can talk on the phone to,  I dont talk to her that much though once in a while ,we never see eachother.  She is a freind from my teenage years.  Our lives just got seperated when this panic-agoraphobia hit me.  I always have someone here in the house with me.  My son or daughter, when my husband is working.  I babysit one of my grandsons and my neighbors baby.  I still get depressed, and feel like I'm locked inside myself.  I have trouble sleeping .  Even that isn't an out or rest for me!   

                Well I live in NY near Albany.  Where are you?                    Kathy 
 
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