Topic : Fears, Phobias and Anxiety Disorders

I used to be really outgoing and now I feel like a nightmare for my husband. I recently was released from the army after spending 6mo and 7days of pure hell. I am afraid of being around people. I won't go to a store by myself unless it is before 6am and after 11pm. I am terrified to drive. I have spent months becoming comfortable with one road. I am afraid of leaving my house without my husband at my side. I have to work from home because I am so paranoid that someone is "out to get me". I am also extremely afraid of running. I have panic attacks every time I try. I am only 24 years old. I know in my mind that I shouldn't be afraid but when it comes down to it I can't bring myself  to get past the fear.

I know it's hard. I have gone through the same thing. I'm 21 and have always had issues in medium to large crowds, but until I lost my driver's license, I was able to keep it in check. 

  

I started depending on other people to get around. I got pregnant with my first child and my husband went to every appointment with me, we went grocery shopping together, I rarely left the house without him, and never by myself. And since he's always been a third shifter, most of my days were spent in my home. For about two years, I didn't get out very much and, like I said, never by myself. 

  

Even after I got my driver's license back, and my husband wanted me to do the grocery shopping without him and run the errands and stuff, I had a lot of trouble doing it. When I was in high school, I was diagnosed with a panic disorder and severe depression, and all of that came whooshing back down on me. 

  

But, I learned to cope. If you aren't too keen on getting professional help, like I'm not (I've had some bad experiences with "professionals") then I just suggest taking babysteps. Start just by going out the front door alone. Each day, take more and more steps away from the house. After awhile, take your husband to the store with you, but leave him in the car. Eventually, you'll be able to go out and about like you'd never had a problem. 

  

That's how I did it, and now I take my two kids grocery shopping with me and have no problem, though I do still (and always will) avoid large crowds. 

  

If you aren't averse to professional help, and can do so, I really suggest you talk to someone. It's a lot harder doing it without the support you can receive from a professional. 

  

Maria 

Hey You know what song I really like that brings hope and sometimes even realization of how near sighted we are, but in the end all is good. The song Seasons of Love by the cast of RENT. Its something that can lift you up. It tells you how precious each moment is and life is too short to dwell on the past or let fear control us. How do you measure one's life? How many days or mintues? Or how much he/she has accomplsihed? The way that they died? Measure his/her life in Love! 

  

Merry Christmas everybody!! 

  

Jenny 

I had an epiphany of sorts tonight. I thought I was aware of how debilitating my panic and anxiety was, and how irrational my thought patterns are, but it hit me tonight that I have very little quality of lfie because of my panic and anxiety.

I wish that I had some advice to give you but I don't :(

I'm struggling with this myself. However, when I first started addressing my panic & anxiety issues, what helped most was knowing that there WERE people out there who were in the same boat and fully understood what I was going through.  I've been reading more and more about the amygdala, the little area of the brain that registers fear, and I'm starting to wonder if those of us who suffer from panic & anxiety don't have an overstimulated amygdala. Or a defective one. Or one that's just stuck on "FEAR" mode all the time?

Good luck to you, and know that there are others here -- myself at the top of the line with my arm shot up in the air like Horshack on Welcome Back, Kotter -- who understand your fears and your frustration. PLEASE try to find a good doctor, one who will listen to you, and tell him/her everything you're feeling. Therapy might help. Different foods might help. And if all else fails, certain anti-depressants will give you the help you need to get back on your feet and not obsess over irrational things.

Although, yeah. Easier said than done ....

Ive nevr said this to anyone before and its the exact opposite f being afraid but i had no idea where to post this... Instead of me being afraid i am always thinking i want things to happen. I know it sounds really sick and desterbing but i always think about wanting me to die, or my mom, or my dad, or any of my friends or family. Or getting really sick. Ive been through a lot and almost died, i dont know why i always think such bad thoughts. But i do and it really scares me, i dont knoe if its because my whole life has always been abgout people being sick and dying. But my family has a lot of mental issues, for example my uncle has been in his room since he was 21 years old because someone said he had a big nose one day. Ive never seen him in my life and im 15 years old, he doesnt work, he only lets me mom go into his room. I dont understand it. I dont know if its because of genetics or if im just stupid. I dont get it, ive never had anyone to tlk to my parents work everyday till late and then come homemanbd watch tv. I see my parents maybe 5 minutes a dasy if im lucky,,i cant get rid of these terible thoughts, and am to afraid to tell ayone i know. IO would bnever hurt ayone the only person i ever hurt is myself, physically, ive cut and done drugs like coke and extacy just to hurt myself, i dont understand y ill be happy one minute and so upset nf cry for days the next. Does anybody have any idea? im so confused and have nobody, my family all moved away,and only have my mom and dad and my sister and nephew. I love my family but sometimes i jsut dont care.

  

what i'm going to suggest is you get your butt to a good book store and look for and BUY the book (workbook) called " feeling good " promise yourself that you WILL do this for YOU !!!!! this book and the contents there-in saved my daughters life!!!! so YOU GO AND BUY THIS BOOK, BECAUSE YOU ARE WORTH IT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

  

this is a sad scary situation for you........i've heard it said that time is a healer, well that is all well and good if one is ok waiting for the right time. personally i don 't believe this entirely.....for me it was like this, and if it helps in any way great.....take what you want and leave the rest, so to speak....i was a practising drug addicit/junky and drug dealer for many , many years. i've been 100% clean for close to 20.  i was sent to a wonderful treatment center and was there for 2 months. i was terrified to go, but these awesome friends of mine (members of AA) convinced me to push thru these fears , as that is all they were...fears. there was nothing life-threatening about them...only scarry. before i went into this center, i had been off drugs for about one year.....during that time it took me about 6 months to get the nerve up to go out my door, climb into my truck, drive 4 miles and sit outside of our postoffice !!! months later, and everyone was so proud, i finally pushed thru my fears and walked into the postoffice and picked up my mail , i could barely function........ i was SO paranoid and was unable to do the easiest of tasks . well, after awhile these friends of mine convinced me to get help, i soon i found myself, (scarred stiff) on a jet headed to vancouver to stay for 2 months in this treatment center. i am so glad and grateful i pushed thru my fears, today i am SO much better......18 years later!!! the panic attacks i use to experience were unbearable....... i'd try grocery shopping, get part way thru my list, a panic attack would hit and i was gone!!! there were people in my past that i did "dealings" with, and yes, i too was looking over my shoulder. i learned, while in treatment, that living life in terror and fear was not a healthy lifestyle...nor totally realistic.....the people i use to deal with most certainly did NOT want to get close to ME !!!!! they knew i had quite using and wanted nothing to do with me.....kind of makes sense doesn't it.......................well, it has been many years since i have used or lived that life-style and life is pretty good today...granted, at times, i do have the odd panic attack or anxiety attack, and that is ok as i know what is going on and where it is coming from. usually, i stop what i'm doing and check on my feelings and what is real and what is not.....it does'nt take long and i'm back in control again.........................i hope i didn't rattle on to long.....most important i hope you can find even the smallest bit of help in what i shared with you.......my story is not exactly like yours, but i sure can identifiy with your feelings,,,,,and that is what it is all about..................take care  

yours truly..............lukas 

Hi, I am 1 of many who probably have been dealing with the fears and phobias that this illnes has attached its self to. I once was a very outgoing person who loved to do things by his self and loved the outdoors. I started having these panic attacks and getting to be agoaphobic back when I thought I had it all. My world stoped being so large and I went from being one that had it all to one that thinks he has nothing. This has caused me to loose 2 relationships and has put me in a place I never wanted to be. I dont like taking meds because of how they make me feel. People say they dont understand why someone could end there own life because they do, but some people I guess would rather stop the Insanity that this causes. Its hard to deal with sometimes but u keep goin and hope 1 day u wake up and its all been a bad dream and u can go back to being the person u once was. Life is hard enough to deal with without something like this to cope with to, but it happens to the best of us. We must go on and hope that we get over this. I get really frustrated because I want to get better but it either costs a fortune or they say to get help you must be ready to or are going to hurt yourself or someone. I have tryed to get help and they say only if you are able to pay. If your dealing with this and u cant drive, hold down a job and u have very little income coming in how are u to get the help u need ? If i could get back to me and I could hold down a good job then I could pay for it. but I guess if u dont have no money and you've lost everything becaue of the illness ur out of luck.I've been searching for answers for along time and still none. Noone wants to no how to help thats close to u because they don't understand. People say oh just get overv it and go on. I wish I could.I dont want something for nothing but I still have alot to give to this world if I only could. I just want to be able to have a normal life and not one of fear. I no that there are diseases that cant be cured and that I understand but this is one I think can, if people who no how to help those of us that do have this illnes only would. I understand everone has to make a living but for those of us that cant work a normal job how are we supposed to get the help.I am so ashamed and imbarressed of myself for being who I have become . If anyone no's where or how I can get help for this I really would appriciate the help, more than u no.If iI have said anything here to hurt or make someone think thats life is bad I'm sory. ife is great and is intended to be shared and lived to its fullest. I no somewhere ther is hope and help and I will kep lokig for it. We al have to hold on and kep the trust that god wil put some answers infront of us to make us better people.We have made it this far and maybe oneday when we get better we can help someone else.

I also have had this disorder since 

I can remember.I always remember as a child feeling anxious around others.I was also homeschooled or supposed to be anyways.I was academicaly neglected.I have also tried medication...paxil,zoloft,prozac and all I got were negative sideaffects.I have read about cbt but I haven't tried that.I was actually hoping that Dr.phil would do a show on this subject...I just wonder if I would be brave enough to go since there are  a ton of people.I used to be terrified of driving too.I still won't drive on freeways or in unfamiliar areas though.I also have reacurring dreams  that I am am driving and then the car starts spinning and I can't stop it.I have this anxiety very very severe...and I feel like it is  totaly what drives me.It consumes me.thanks for listening. 

  

  

Melissa 

 Hi,  

I noticed your post and I thought I would let you know I am offering a free CBT course on  line.  To get more information click on my user name to reach my profile and e-mail address.