I have suffered with severe panic attacks from about age 12, although having anxiety always just seem to get worse as I got older. I had the same thoughts as others I have seen on here, am I crazy, thought seeking help was like admitting being crazy, then you have the people that tell you, oh your just a worry wart, its all in your head, etc etc, these things don't help. I tried alchohol, medications, different ways of partying and getting wasted anything to escape the dreaded panic attacks, I would also run to church and get prayed for, this did help, but one preacher who pointed a finger in my face and told me I had to stop giving attention to it, and I could either set and listen or leave, that was one of the best things anyone ever said, here I was with a situation I could go back in and set through the service and battle this attack or run out of the church admitting defeat, in this istance it made me realize to some degree I had a choice, and some form of control. Now it was still years later and a really stupid drunken episode that landed me in the hospital that finally made me get diagnosed for Panic/anxiety disorder. I have found that anti-depressants really do not help me, as I am not depressed, but I take Klonazapam which is an ati convulsant that stops them and prevents them, but I can still feel emotion, I can still get scared or nervous, just keeps it from getting extreme, helps me to be able to handle thoughts and fears with some rationality. I am original from Alabama, I now live in Australia, now a person with my disorder could normally not move from their home town much less to another country, so it is something that can be controlled.
What is a panic attack, some will say it is the worst thing that a person can go through but it only last a few minutes, for those of you who say a few minutes my blank blank, your not alone, worst feeling, yes, terrifying yes, goes away after a few minutes, not if its severe.
I would have an attack, could feel it coming, but once it got that far was too late, does not help when you have no idea what it is either.
Symptoms: Heart races, a sudden overwhelming feeling of dread or fear, a feeling of needing to run away or being paralized, legs turn to jello, body shakes, short of breath, can cause bowel movement or diarriah,
a feeling that your dying. These are initional and come on suddenly, you may have some or all symptoms or maybe even more, I also experienced overwhelming cold or chills.
What triggers these things depends on what type your are, they can just come from no where, but alot of times are set off by things that worry you or negative thoughts, I am what you would call a "What If" thinker, what if this or that happened, or what if I did something horrible or became a horrible person, you may see something on tv that someone did, and think what if I did that, and then think I must be horrible for thinking that, its a viscious cycle, funny thing, once the panic attack hits you forget what really set it off then just become afraid of the attack, and fearing attacks can bring on attacks, which brings me back to only lasts a few minutes, try weeks at a time.
I would have an attack, it would calm down, and just hit me again, over and over, I would eventually pace and wear myself down into a sleep just to wake up and as soon as I thought, it was back again, would get to a point where I would become dissasociated from myself, this is also a frightenening place to be, where you see people around you, they may be talking to you, you may be even responding, but you don't feel like your really there, like your looking through tunnel, not really attached to yourself anymore, you know that saying of being in a room of people and being alone, not only alone but not even with yourself, would compare to being in a dreamlike state awake but only make that nightmare.
Why do people become afraid of certain places or leaving their home, because they are afraid of having panic attacks, and build up what I would call safe zones where they are less likely to have them, and avoid places where they may more likely have them and without help will probably stay this way, some things can be overcome without medication, but sometimes, especially in severe cases such as mine you need it, and I don't take much, not even what I am suppose to, but just knowing its there helps, kinda like a safety zone you can carry with you, is it a crutch, purhaps, but is living or trying to fight a living nightmare without it a better option, I don't think so, and I don't want to be limited to my house, or afraid to go out, I am a bit isolated at times, ati -social behavior can be easy to develope with this condition, but I refuse to let an illness beat me, yes I needed help, but I have seen people with help who still let it control them, you can either decide to get help and learn as much about it as you can, so you know how to train your thinking, or you can let it run your life, personally the second is not a option for me, but something I couldn't do alone, don't try to self medicate, don't drink, do not advise horror movies for people with this disorder, learn your limits.
You have to wonder how many drug addicts, alchoholics and suicide attempts or successes have had this disorder, cause some people do not realize exactly how disabilitating it can be, but it don't have to be stop running from it, and get help for it, take medications if advised too, do what you need to in the right way to get control back over your life.
Remind yourself, I am not an evil person, I am not crazy, this is just a feeling there is nothing to actually fear, keep yourself and mind busy, working can be extremely helpful for this in alot of cases. I know there is alot to read here, but just giving my story and a bit of a description of what happens, and would be happy to talk with anyone about it, if you have advice for me, happy to hear it, knowing the problem is half the battle and knowing your not alone is a blessing.
