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Topic : How Childhood Abuse Still Affects Me

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Created on : Thursday, July 07, 2005, 09:00:06 am
Author : dataimport
Are you an abuse survivor? How do you cope? Share your story.

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July 15, 2008, 10:50 am CDT

What ya up to?

Quote From: hiddenheart

Wow, Renee' that is so sweet of you to say.  Thank you for telling me how much I've helped you.  As a mother, I'm sure you can understand how much it means to have someone appreciate you once in a while.  I want you to know that you're not the only one benefiting from this friendship.  I look forward to hearing from you, and I'm always excited to see that you've posted something new.  I really needed a friend when I met you, and you're an answer to prayer for me.  You understand me so well, and I'm sure you can even understand how it feels to have no friends, and then to find one.  I can trust you not to judge me when I admit to feelings that I'm ashamed of.  And I know you won't be offended if I tell you that I still worry about losing your friendship.  It's so hard for me to make friends, because I'm so sure they'll leave me.  It's something I'm working on, and something you're helping me with, maybe without even realizing it.  You encourage me to keep working to get better. 

 

I explain my past as a pool of water with mud at the bottom because it's a visual image.  I express myself best through art, especially drawing, so pictures just make more sense to me.  If I can see something, I can understand it better.

 

Please don't think that I'm the one pulling you up to a better life.  You're helping me up too.  And, of course, God is helping us both!  I have another mental picture for you, and an interesting fact.  Did you know that the height of a  California Redwood would make it fall over if it wasn't surrounded by other Redwoods?  The roots of these trees are interlocked with the roots of the trees around them, and that supports their weight, and holds them up.  Without the other trees to support it, a Redwood could not reach such amazing heights.  I am the same way.  With good friends and family to hold me up, I can reach great heights.  I need the support of Christians like you.  We were meant to support each other, and raise each other up to reach our greatest potential.  You support me like that, and I'm so glad that you've given me the opportunity to return the favor.  You mean so much to me.  I know we will both continue to have bad days, but the good ones are starting to outweigh the bad, and I hope that trend will continue.  I will keep thinking of you and praying for you.  I know we can help each other through the bad days, because that's what God gives us friends for. :)

 

I hope I will hear from you soon.  Have a great weekend!

 

Sarah

Hey, Missie!

Are you still going to the church where the preacher is being ummmmm - not Christianly

towards you?  Or do you go somewhere else?  You've probably told me, but my short

term memory is messed up (literally).

I haven't been in a while, unfortunately, and I miss it; I just can't seem to get the nerve up.

That first step is a doozie!!  Also, I kind of want to wait to start finding the right one when

I get in my house, so it might be more closer.  But, then the "right" one might just be

across Denver!  You never know!

Isn't your anniversary coming up?  How's all that going?

The three of us went with the family next door Saturday to see Wall E.  They have twin

girls that are 7 years old.  They still only weigh under 45 pounds, so they are still in the

booster car seats.  They are so ready to get to the next stage, but they can't gain weight!

They are just tall and thin!

It was funny to watch my brother and sister-in-law around them.  They have no other

nieces or nephews other than my daughter & son, so they cannot relate to anything

dealing with children.  They do no get them!!!!!!!!  They are too impatient and self-

centered, know what I mean?

Got to go - I have a meeting with the contractor for my first construction thingy.

See ya!

 

Renee'

 
July 15, 2008, 12:08 pm CDT

friends

Quote From: rlnash

Hey, Missie!

Are you still going to the church where the preacher is being ummmmm - not Christianly

towards you?  Or do you go somewhere else?  You've probably told me, but my short

term memory is messed up (literally).

I haven't been in a while, unfortunately, and I miss it; I just can't seem to get the nerve up.

That first step is a doozie!!  Also, I kind of want to wait to start finding the right one when

I get in my house, so it might be more closer.  But, then the "right" one might just be

across Denver!  You never know!

Isn't your anniversary coming up?  How's all that going?

The three of us went with the family next door Saturday to see Wall E.  They have twin

girls that are 7 years old.  They still only weigh under 45 pounds, so they are still in the

booster car seats.  They are so ready to get to the next stage, but they can't gain weight!

They are just tall and thin!

It was funny to watch my brother and sister-in-law around them.  They have no other

nieces or nephews other than my daughter & son, so they cannot relate to anything

dealing with children.  They do no get them!!!!!!!!  They are too impatient and self-

centered, know what I mean?

Got to go - I have a meeting with the contractor for my first construction thingy.

See ya!

 

Renee'

Hi Renee'

 

Yes, I'm still going to the church where I was having trouble with the pastor.  I thought about finding a different church for a long time, but every time I prayed about it, I felt that God wanted me in this one.  Things are actually getting better with the pastor, too.  I went to lunch with her and another lady last Monday, and had a great time.  The other lady is the woman who just married my pastor's son.  She's really great.  I like her a lot.  I'm hoping that she and I can be friends, but I'm so horrible with making friends. :p I find myself thinking about her a lot, and wondering if she likes me.  Like a thirteen year old with a crush on a boy.  Is that sad?  She's actually coming over on Thursday to make cookies with me.  I'm hoping that she and I can get close, but at the same time, I'm afraid to let her get close, you know?  I think it would be so much easier if my husband and her husband were still friends.  They used to be so close, and it really hurts when I think of the distance between them now.  I dream of the four of us going out together, doing double dates and things like that.  Maybe someday.

 

As for my pastor, I've been thinking about her a lot too.  I really feel that I owe her an apology.  For a long time, I've blamed her for the distance I feel in our relationship.  I've realized lately, though, that she never shut me out or tried to push me away.  I pushed her away.  She never really changed in her treatment toward me, but I left her.  Even after my husband and my pastor were no longer fighting, I wouldn't let her get close to me.  I know she's been there for me all along.  It was my fear of being hurt that killed the friendship we had, ad not anything she did.  I've been wanting to sit down and talk with her about all of this, but I keep making excuses and chickening out.

 

My anniversary is on Friday.  I'm still working on the belly dancing costume, and still haven't practiced any belly dancing.  I did buy a tattoo kit, and some pretty bangle bracelets, though. :p The tattoo kit is a lot more complex than I thought it would be.  It's the henna kind, and you have to make the paste two days in advance, and let it sit for 48 hours, then you have to leave it on your skin for a long time too.  After you wash the paste off, the dye stays on your skin for two to four weeks.  The package recommends the hands and feet for the tattoos, because that's the traditional place for henna tattoos, and the die sets in best there.  If it's gonna be there for a month, though, I think I'll have to put it somewhere I can cover with clothes.  The problem with making the paste in advance, though, is I don't know yet when I'll be able to dance for my husband.  We still haven't gotten a babysitter, and I don't want to have the tattoos on for too long before I dance for him.  If he sees me naked before I dance, he'll see the tattoos, and that might ruin the surprise a bit. :p I have started working on a little book for him, too, though.  It's kindof a list of all the crazy things I did before he and I got married, with little cartoon figures.  At the end, I'll say that he's crazy enough to marry me even though I'm a complete nut, so I'm keeping him. :) I think he'll like it.

 

I hope you find a good church soon.  It's hard putting yourself out there like that.  I'm sure God has a place for you, though.  Just trust Him to lead you to the right one.  I'll keep you in prayer for that.

 

I'll talk to you more later.  I hope you have a great day, and a good appointment with your therapist on Wed.

 

Sarah

 
July 15, 2008, 5:31 pm CDT

How Childhood Abuse Still Affects Me

Room for another needy soul? I could use a friend or six.
 
July 15, 2008, 8:54 pm CDT

How Childhood Abuse Still Affects Me

Quote From: soleftalone

Room for another needy soul? I could use a friend or six.
Of course we have room for you.  There aren't six of us here, just two, but we'd be happy to consider you a friend. :) I'm Sarah.  I hope I can offer you whatever support and understanding you need.
 
July 17, 2008, 7:26 am CDT

Hey there!

Quote From: hiddenheart

Hi Renee'

 

Yes, I'm still going to the church where I was having trouble with the pastor.  I thought about finding a different church for a long time, but every time I prayed about it, I felt that God wanted me in this one.  Things are actually getting better with the pastor, too.  I went to lunch with her and another lady last Monday, and had a great time.  The other lady is the woman who just married my pastor's son.  She's really great.  I like her a lot.  I'm hoping that she and I can be friends, but I'm so horrible with making friends. :p I find myself thinking about her a lot, and wondering if she likes me.  Like a thirteen year old with a crush on a boy.  Is that sad?  She's actually coming over on Thursday to make cookies with me.  I'm hoping that she and I can get close, but at the same time, I'm afraid to let her get close, you know?  I think it would be so much easier if my husband and her husband were still friends.  They used to be so close, and it really hurts when I think of the distance between them now.  I dream of the four of us going out together, doing double dates and things like that.  Maybe someday.

 

As for my pastor, I've been thinking about her a lot too.  I really feel that I owe her an apology.  For a long time, I've blamed her for the distance I feel in our relationship.  I've realized lately, though, that she never shut me out or tried to push me away.  I pushed her away.  She never really changed in her treatment toward me, but I left her.  Even after my husband and my pastor were no longer fighting, I wouldn't let her get close to me.  I know she's been there for me all along.  It was my fear of being hurt that killed the friendship we had, ad not anything she did.  I've been wanting to sit down and talk with her about all of this, but I keep making excuses and chickening out.

 

My anniversary is on Friday.  I'm still working on the belly dancing costume, and still haven't practiced any belly dancing.  I did buy a tattoo kit, and some pretty bangle bracelets, though. :p The tattoo kit is a lot more complex than I thought it would be.  It's the henna kind, and you have to make the paste two days in advance, and let it sit for 48 hours, then you have to leave it on your skin for a long time too.  After you wash the paste off, the dye stays on your skin for two to four weeks.  The package recommends the hands and feet for the tattoos, because that's the traditional place for henna tattoos, and the die sets in best there.  If it's gonna be there for a month, though, I think I'll have to put it somewhere I can cover with clothes.  The problem with making the paste in advance, though, is I don't know yet when I'll be able to dance for my husband.  We still haven't gotten a babysitter, and I don't want to have the tattoos on for too long before I dance for him.  If he sees me naked before I dance, he'll see the tattoos, and that might ruin the surprise a bit. :p I have started working on a little book for him, too, though.  It's kindof a list of all the crazy things I did before he and I got married, with little cartoon figures.  At the end, I'll say that he's crazy enough to marry me even though I'm a complete nut, so I'm keeping him. :) I think he'll like it.

 

I hope you find a good church soon.  It's hard putting yourself out there like that.  I'm sure God has a place for you, though.  Just trust Him to lead you to the right one.  I'll keep you in prayer for that.

 

I'll talk to you more later.  I hope you have a great day, and a good appointment with your therapist on Wed.

 

Sarah

Not anything new to write about other than they're framing the house.  There's

been a lot of drama (just what I need) regarding the loan.  We're approved from

an outside lender, but the builders want us to use their mortgage company

(of course), so they're blaming everything on us.  Why can't they just let it be?

We're getting a better deal and everything's already taken care of loan wise,

but ........................!

My doctor's appointment went okay.  I did tell him a little more about me.  He

didn't faint or anything, so that was good!  But, I didn't tell him until about 10

minutes prior to the session being over, so we couldn't really get into it.  So,

I'm sure we'll open with it next week.

I'm thinking about going on a road trip just for the day tomorrow.  It's supposed

to be a little rainy, so maybe the heat and haze will break.  Since I don't have any

kind of appointments, I thought I'd take advantage.  I just don't want to wander

too far!!!

I probably won't talk to you tomorrow, so have a wonderful anniversary!!  Shake those

hips, honey!!  Have a great time.

Love ya,

Renee'

 
July 17, 2008, 7:27 am CDT

Hey there!

Quote From: hiddenheart

Hi Renee'

 

Yes, I'm still going to the church where I was having trouble with the pastor.  I thought about finding a different church for a long time, but every time I prayed about it, I felt that God wanted me in this one.  Things are actually getting better with the pastor, too.  I went to lunch with her and another lady last Monday, and had a great time.  The other lady is the woman who just married my pastor's son.  She's really great.  I like her a lot.  I'm hoping that she and I can be friends, but I'm so horrible with making friends. :p I find myself thinking about her a lot, and wondering if she likes me.  Like a thirteen year old with a crush on a boy.  Is that sad?  She's actually coming over on Thursday to make cookies with me.  I'm hoping that she and I can get close, but at the same time, I'm afraid to let her get close, you know?  I think it would be so much easier if my husband and her husband were still friends.  They used to be so close, and it really hurts when I think of the distance between them now.  I dream of the four of us going out together, doing double dates and things like that.  Maybe someday.

 

As for my pastor, I've been thinking about her a lot too.  I really feel that I owe her an apology.  For a long time, I've blamed her for the distance I feel in our relationship.  I've realized lately, though, that she never shut me out or tried to push me away.  I pushed her away.  She never really changed in her treatment toward me, but I left her.  Even after my husband and my pastor were no longer fighting, I wouldn't let her get close to me.  I know she's been there for me all along.  It was my fear of being hurt that killed the friendship we had, ad not anything she did.  I've been wanting to sit down and talk with her about all of this, but I keep making excuses and chickening out.

 

My anniversary is on Friday.  I'm still working on the belly dancing costume, and still haven't practiced any belly dancing.  I did buy a tattoo kit, and some pretty bangle bracelets, though. :p The tattoo kit is a lot more complex than I thought it would be.  It's the henna kind, and you have to make the paste two days in advance, and let it sit for 48 hours, then you have to leave it on your skin for a long time too.  After you wash the paste off, the dye stays on your skin for two to four weeks.  The package recommends the hands and feet for the tattoos, because that's the traditional place for henna tattoos, and the die sets in best there.  If it's gonna be there for a month, though, I think I'll have to put it somewhere I can cover with clothes.  The problem with making the paste in advance, though, is I don't know yet when I'll be able to dance for my husband.  We still haven't gotten a babysitter, and I don't want to have the tattoos on for too long before I dance for him.  If he sees me naked before I dance, he'll see the tattoos, and that might ruin the surprise a bit. :p I have started working on a little book for him, too, though.  It's kindof a list of all the crazy things I did before he and I got married, with little cartoon figures.  At the end, I'll say that he's crazy enough to marry me even though I'm a complete nut, so I'm keeping him. :) I think he'll like it.

 

I hope you find a good church soon.  It's hard putting yourself out there like that.  I'm sure God has a place for you, though.  Just trust Him to lead you to the right one.  I'll keep you in prayer for that.

 

I'll talk to you more later.  I hope you have a great day, and a good appointment with your therapist on Wed.

 

Sarah

Not anything new to write about other than they're framing the house.  There's

been a lot of drama (just what I need) regarding the loan.  We're approved from

an outside lender, but the builders want us to use their mortgage company

(of course), so they're blaming everything on us.  Why can't they just let it be?

We're getting a better deal and everything's already taken care of loan wise,

but ........................!

My doctor's appointment went okay.  I did tell him a little more about me.  He

didn't faint or anything, so that was good!  But, I didn't tell him until about 10

minutes prior to the session being over, so we couldn't really get into it.  So,

I'm sure we'll open with it next week.

I'm thinking about going on a road trip just for the day tomorrow.  It's supposed

to be a little rainy, so maybe the heat and haze will break.  Since I don't have any

kind of appointments, I thought I'd take advantage.  I just don't want to wander

too far!!!

I probably won't talk to you tomorrow, so have a wonderful anniversary!!  Shake those

hips, honey!!  Have a great time.

Love ya,

Renee'

 
July 20, 2008, 12:46 pm CDT

sleep, henna, etc.

Quote From: rlnash

Not anything new to write about other than they're framing the house.  There's

been a lot of drama (just what I need) regarding the loan.  We're approved from

an outside lender, but the builders want us to use their mortgage company

(of course), so they're blaming everything on us.  Why can't they just let it be?

We're getting a better deal and everything's already taken care of loan wise,

but ........................!

My doctor's appointment went okay.  I did tell him a little more about me.  He

didn't faint or anything, so that was good!  But, I didn't tell him until about 10

minutes prior to the session being over, so we couldn't really get into it.  So,

I'm sure we'll open with it next week.

I'm thinking about going on a road trip just for the day tomorrow.  It's supposed

to be a little rainy, so maybe the heat and haze will break.  Since I don't have any

kind of appointments, I thought I'd take advantage.  I just don't want to wander

too far!!!

I probably won't talk to you tomorrow, so have a wonderful anniversary!!  Shake those

hips, honey!!  Have a great time.

Love ya,

Renee'

Hey Renee'

 

They're framing your house, huh?  Awesome!  Start the countdown to November! ;) That's too bad that the builders are being obnoxious about your loan.  As long as they get paid, what does it matter where the money comes from?

 

I'm glad you talked to your therapist some more.  Are you nervous about talking more about it next week?  That's good that he didn't faint.  I wonder how the hourly rate would work out then, if the therapist is unconscious for part of the session...? ;)

 

I slept in today, and didn't make it to church. :( I was going to get up and go there at 10:00, but when I looked at the clock, it was 10:45. :p I'm disappointed in myself, but I'll get over it.  I'm just so tired.  I'm trying to teach my 19 month old daughter to fall asleep without nursing, in the hopes that she'll then start to sleep through the night.  Last night was the third night, and it's already starting to get better, but it's still going pretty rough. She only woke up three times last night, though, instead of five like the first night.  I can just imagine getting a full night of sleep some day... *sigh*

 

My mom came to see me for a little while yesterday.  She lives out of town, and was just passing through on her way to a job, but it was nice to see her.  I gave her a henna tattoo.  It's a lot of fun for me to draw/paint with this henna stuff.  I pretty much covered myself with the stuff on Wednesday night, and I still had some left over.  The paste is only good for four days, so I needed to use it up.  My mom liked the tattoo, and I used almost all of the paste.  My husband actually doesn't like the tattoos, though. :p I'm not surprised, I guess.  He doesn't usually like the style of clothing or accessories that I like.   I was looking on line at a lot of different henna tattoo businesses, and it makes me wonder if there's anything like that here in MT.  If not, I wonder if there would be a market for it.  That would be a fun thing to do for a job.  Then, I could have all the fun of working with henna, without my husband whining about me being covered with flowers and butterflies all the time.  Lol.

 

Anyway, we had a nice anniversary.  I danced, and it went pretty well.  He liked it.  We also watched a movie together, but it was not a great movie.  Pretty dumb, actually.  We didn't exchange gifts yet.  My friend is going to babysit next weekend, and we're going to go do something then to celebrate our anniversary.  I made him a cartoon memory book of all the funny things we've done.  I'm excited to give it to him.  I think he'll really like it.  I really hope he likes it., anyway.

 

Well, that's all that's new here today.  I guess I will talk to you more later.  I hope you have a great weekend, and a wonderful Monday.  I know Mondays are not usually wonderful, but, hey, it could happen.

 

Still praying for you,

Sarah

 
July 22, 2008, 8:00 am CDT

Shake your stuff!!!

Quote From: hiddenheart

Hey Renee'

 

They're framing your house, huh?  Awesome!  Start the countdown to November! ;) That's too bad that the builders are being obnoxious about your loan.  As long as they get paid, what does it matter where the money comes from?

 

I'm glad you talked to your therapist some more.  Are you nervous about talking more about it next week?  That's good that he didn't faint.  I wonder how the hourly rate would work out then, if the therapist is unconscious for part of the session...? ;)

 

I slept in today, and didn't make it to church. :( I was going to get up and go there at 10:00, but when I looked at the clock, it was 10:45. :p I'm disappointed in myself, but I'll get over it.  I'm just so tired.  I'm trying to teach my 19 month old daughter to fall asleep without nursing, in the hopes that she'll then start to sleep through the night.  Last night was the third night, and it's already starting to get better, but it's still going pretty rough. She only woke up three times last night, though, instead of five like the first night.  I can just imagine getting a full night of sleep some day... *sigh*

 

My mom came to see me for a little while yesterday.  She lives out of town, and was just passing through on her way to a job, but it was nice to see her.  I gave her a henna tattoo.  It's a lot of fun for me to draw/paint with this henna stuff.  I pretty much covered myself with the stuff on Wednesday night, and I still had some left over.  The paste is only good for four days, so I needed to use it up.  My mom liked the tattoo, and I used almost all of the paste.  My husband actually doesn't like the tattoos, though. :p I'm not surprised, I guess.  He doesn't usually like the style of clothing or accessories that I like.   I was looking on line at a lot of different henna tattoo businesses, and it makes me wonder if there's anything like that here in MT.  If not, I wonder if there would be a market for it.  That would be a fun thing to do for a job.  Then, I could have all the fun of working with henna, without my husband whining about me being covered with flowers and butterflies all the time.  Lol.

 

Anyway, we had a nice anniversary.  I danced, and it went pretty well.  He liked it.  We also watched a movie together, but it was not a great movie.  Pretty dumb, actually.  We didn't exchange gifts yet.  My friend is going to babysit next weekend, and we're going to go do something then to celebrate our anniversary.  I made him a cartoon memory book of all the funny things we've done.  I'm excited to give it to him.  I think he'll really like it.  I really hope he likes it., anyway.

 

Well, that's all that's new here today.  I guess I will talk to you more later.  I hope you have a great weekend, and a wonderful Monday.  I know Mondays are not usually wonderful, but, hey, it could happen.

 

Still praying for you,

Sarah

Hello!

Sounds like yuor anniversary went pretty well.  You must be pretty much covered in henna!!

The tattoo I got in Florida when I went with my daughter lasted about a week and a half.  This

lady had a room set up with patterns all over the walls and you picked out which one you

wanted, then she stenciled it in or free hand drew it.  Pretty cool.

 

I don't understand why my posts don't come out all pretty like everyone elses.  Mine

types on all different lines, etc.  Do you know what I"m doing wrong?  I know how to

type, but you sure can't tell it!!!!

 

Well, I don't think I'll be able to take this new medicine, either.  I'm about ready to throw in

the towel on new drugs.   I didn't get out of bed much Friday, Sat. or Sunday and really

didn't feel like it much yesterday, but I did anyway.  I feel like I have run a marathon and

can't catch up to the runners.  Also, the depression is almost overwhelming to the point

I'd rather not discuss!  It's so heartbreaking.  I want to get excited about my house and

things, but it is so short lived.  By 6 p.m. I'm in my jammies and by 7 I'm in bed with

the covers over my head.  I just want to sleep and not think about anything, or

anyone.  It makes me wonder if I'll ever be able to work again, but maybe it's the meds.

I'm almost ready to do the electric shock therapy again, although my brother says

there is no way I'm going through that again.  But, he doesn't go through what I'm

living every day.

 

Well, I need to go do some ironing, etc.  So, give the babies some kisses from me

and I'll talk to you in the next day or two when I'm feeling better.

Love ya,

Renee'

 

 

 
July 22, 2008, 2:08 pm CDT

praying for you

Quote From: rlnash

Hello!

Sounds like yuor anniversary went pretty well.  You must be pretty much covered in henna!!

The tattoo I got in Florida when I went with my daughter lasted about a week and a half.  This

lady had a room set up with patterns all over the walls and you picked out which one you

wanted, then she stenciled it in or free hand drew it.  Pretty cool.

 

I don't understand why my posts don't come out all pretty like everyone elses.  Mine

types on all different lines, etc.  Do you know what I"m doing wrong?  I know how to

type, but you sure can't tell it!!!!

 

Well, I don't think I'll be able to take this new medicine, either.  I'm about ready to throw in

the towel on new drugs.   I didn't get out of bed much Friday, Sat. or Sunday and really

didn't feel like it much yesterday, but I did anyway.  I feel like I have run a marathon and

can't catch up to the runners.  Also, the depression is almost overwhelming to the point

I'd rather not discuss!  It's so heartbreaking.  I want to get excited about my house and

things, but it is so short lived.  By 6 p.m. I'm in my jammies and by 7 I'm in bed with

the covers over my head.  I just want to sleep and not think about anything, or

anyone.  It makes me wonder if I'll ever be able to work again, but maybe it's the meds.

I'm almost ready to do the electric shock therapy again, although my brother says

there is no way I'm going through that again.  But, he doesn't go through what I'm

living every day.

 

Well, I need to go do some ironing, etc.  So, give the babies some kisses from me

and I'll talk to you in the next day or two when I'm feeling better.

Love ya,

Renee'

 

 

Oh, sweetie, you sound like you're just wore out. :( I'm sorry the new med is affecting you that way.  That's got to be hard.  Could it just be a temporary thing while your body adjusts to it, or do you think it would always affect you like this if you keep taking it?  Do you have to keep taking it until your next Dr. appointment?  I'll keep praying for you.  I don't know much about electric shock therapy, or how it works.  If you and your doctor think it would help, though, then that's your decision, not your brother's.

 

I don't know why your posts are spaced so strangely.  Maybe your computer has something to do with it?  I really know very little about computers. :p

 

I think the idea of a henna booth sounds really cool.  What a fun job!  I don't know if we have anything like that here in MT.  I've never seen any, but maybe they have them in different towns.  That would be a cool thing to do at the state fair, or the farmer's market, or something like that where there are a lot of people walking around.

 

I think I'm going to try to meet my new neighbors today.  They just moved into the condo behind ours, and I think they might have kids.  That would be cool, not only because then my kids would have someone to play with, but also, maybe we could trade babysitting services, or something.  Is it sad the every time I meet someone new, visions of babysitters dance in my head?  Like, if I could choose the ideal family to move in next to me, it would be people with kids who love kids, and want to watch my kids.  Lol.  Of course, if they have kids, then I could watch their kids in return, and I wouldn't feel so guilty about them watching my kids.  Does that make sense?  If I meet them, I'll let you know how it goes.

 

Hope your week gets better, Renee'.  I'll talk to you more later.

Sarah

 
July 24, 2008, 7:04 am CDT

Morning! (here, anyway)

Quote From: hiddenheart

Oh, sweetie, you sound like you're just wore out. :( I'm sorry the new med is affecting you that way.  That's got to be hard.  Could it just be a temporary thing while your body adjusts to it, or do you think it would always affect you like this if you keep taking it?  Do you have to keep taking it until your next Dr. appointment?  I'll keep praying for you.  I don't know much about electric shock therapy, or how it works.  If you and your doctor think it would help, though, then that's your decision, not your brother's.

 

I don't know why your posts are spaced so strangely.  Maybe your computer has something to do with it?  I really know very little about computers. :p

 

I think the idea of a henna booth sounds really cool.  What a fun job!  I don't know if we have anything like that here in MT.  I've never seen any, but maybe they have them in different towns.  That would be a cool thing to do at the state fair, or the farmer's market, or something like that where there are a lot of people walking around.

 

I think I'm going to try to meet my new neighbors today.  They just moved into the condo behind ours, and I think they might have kids.  That would be cool, not only because then my kids would have someone to play with, but also, maybe we could trade babysitting services, or something.  Is it sad the every time I meet someone new, visions of babysitters dance in my head?  Like, if I could choose the ideal family to move in next to me, it would be people with kids who love kids, and want to watch my kids.  Lol.  Of course, if they have kids, then I could watch their kids in return, and I wouldn't feel so guilty about them watching my kids.  Does that make sense?  If I meet them, I'll let you know how it goes.

 

Hope your week gets better, Renee'.  I'll talk to you more later.

Sarah

Did you meet your neighbors?  That would be so neat if you'd have someone to visit

and have kids in common.  They could play, you could visit (& possibly switch out

babysitting!!).  I know exactly what you mean!!  Once upon a time, I had that when my

kids were small & it sure helps - you (to get away) and the kids (to have playmates).

 

I went to my doctor yesterday and he wants me to stay on the new meds one more

week.  I told him I would against my better judgement and that I truly didn't want to -

because I feel sooooo bad.  My brother & sister-in-law were so wanting me to stop it,

even though the doctor said to keep taking it.  They said I have gone back at least 9

months in progress.  But, if that's the case, then, if I do get to stop it, I should get much

better.

 

I just feel awful - all over- & I hate it.  He said since I stayed in bed all weekend, it was my

choice & how did I know that if I had gotten out and done something, I wouldn't have

felt better?  One one hand, I understand what he's trying to say, but on the other hand,

what the heck is he trying to say?  I was out and doing (picking out stuff for my house)

running errands, etc.  Now, I don't feel like showering, it's pretty clear to me - but,

I've always, always, always done what my doctors wanted me to do.  Go up on meds,

go down on meds, add new ones, stop this one .............   See them once a week, twice

a week, every other week.  So, I don't want to start rocking the boat now.

 

You asked about my yard at the house.  The community does all of the landscaping &

upkeep on the outside of the houses.  They'll plant the trees, bushes, flowers -

water, cut back, etc.   I do have an area that is privacy fenced in out the back door, so

I can do something of "my own" there.  I am a rose fanatic - I've got to have at least

one rose bush!!!!   Back in Arkansas, I had 21 rose bushes (when the deer weren't

eating them!!!).  I enjoyed them so much and they smelled soooo good!  Once you get

the hang of them, they're not so hard to take care of as you hear.

 

Keep checking into the henna booth.  Do some research on it.  I have a friend back in AR

that does the craft show circuit in AR and LA and they make a second income doing it.

But, they custom frame and do iron work, but, they really enjoy it!!  You have to look at

available booth sights and what you're next to, size, etc.  You go girl!!!

 

Be sweet - talk to ya later.

Renee'

 
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