Topic : How Childhood Abuse Still Affects Me

I cannot believe anyone would ever be mean to you....At the other place were we first met I started feeling like a few people were ganging up on me too.. Cathy if your reading this did it seem like that to you or was I just being too senseative.  I will trust you...I know exactly who I thought but I dont think its proper to say in an open forum like this...

Anyway stay here beachsmiles...your our hero anyway!

xooxox

I wrote you on the depression board as well...If you haven't already I suggested that you get Dr. Phil's Book Life Strategies.  It will help you fill in that deep dark black hole you mentioned TRUST ME. 

I wouldn't even suggest it if it didn't work for me.  Over 6o odd days ago I was were you are at.  If you have tried everything else what else do you have to loose really? 

The 304 pages saved my life. 

I challenge you to face the pain and rage that live within you once and for all. 

Become a winner.  SAVE yourself  today will be the best day of the rest of your life.  Do not respond with any excuse as to why your not going to go out and buy it....If you cant afford it go to the library.   We all can come with excuses as to why.....I say to you why not! 

WHY NOT get off the negative train of life and come join me on the happy trail.... 

There are so few people here and it feels weird and good.....I am not used to this feeling  WHY Dr. Phil... 

Can you help me further pump up my happiness? 

Even though it feels strange to me???? 

That was real nice and well put.  

You can be real helpful I hope you know that. 

I am 47 years old...my life was ruined by CSA...I suffer from depression, social anxiety and PTSD symptoms, and I don't even remember all of my abuse.  I only remember I was 5 and led out to the outhouse by an adult male.  I only see their p**is in front of my face and him saying, "touch it".  The next thing I remember I was in the corner of the back yard watching myself run in my little yellow nighty from the outhouse back into the house.  I don't remember much of my childhood...most memories are outside...I don't have many indoor memories.   

Oddly enough, the sexual abuse of my son by my brother devestated me more than my own.  The wall of secrecy and denial was so powerful in my family it took me 17 years to tell my brother I did not want him in my life anymore.  I was gradually ostracized by the rest of the family.  I am totally isolated and alone.    

Child Sexual Abuse destroys lives and I am writing this message because when I read the list of upcoming shows there was only one on this topic and it was. "have you been falsly accused of child molestation?".  I and some other parent's of sexually abused children in my online support group wrote to the Dr. Phil show expressing our concern that all sides of this story should get equal time...   

so they changed it to "have you been falsly accused of a crime".  All well and good...we made a difference and prevented a show that would have validated molesters in denial.  But what about the children??????????????  What about the parents who are also traumatized that this has happened to their child.     

I so wish my son was ready to talk about this...I would go on the show in a second!  He once mentioned Dr. Phil and asking for help with his marijuana addiction. I said I would write to Doctor Phil and then he quickly changed his mind saying, "No, I don't want to air my dirty laundry in public."  I told him he doesn't have any dirty laundry but he changed the subject.  Maybe someday he will be ready.  This topic needs to be talked about openly without shame and secrecy and stigma.