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Topic : How Childhood Abuse Still Affects Me

Number of Replies: 1367
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Thursday, July 07, 2005, 09:00:06 am
Author : dataimport
Are you an abuse survivor? How do you cope? Share your story.

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July 28, 2005, 10:47 am CDT

How Childhood Abuse Still Affects Me

Quote From: mjkkas

I remember you, Have you heard from Solo22 or Pastel----  (I can't remeber the other letters) Donna? I missed the boards and wondered if they had gotten rid of the sex abuse one. Thanks for telling me where it is. I'll go there and visit too. Hope you have a great day!

Hey. No I haven't heard from solo or Pastel... (can't remember either). However, momisme and mussymel are on there but I do hope that they find the board. Well, my day is going ok so far. I'll talk to you l8ter.

 

Oreo

 
July 28, 2005, 2:06 pm CDT

Just stopping By to say Hi

Hope you all Have a good night!
 
July 28, 2005, 3:30 pm CDT

Just wanted to say ...

 
July 28, 2005, 7:13 pm CDT

It's a hard road to recovery.....

Quote From: labelfree

Cannot stay in a victim role...Got to move on....Got to get strong...I had to find a new life that was going to work for me...Had to make changes had to live my life fruitfully....I needed to talk about it talk about it talk about....Reach inside myself.....Purge the pain.....Read that book...CRY  and than POOF>>>>I thought it was all over....But as the days pass and I still visit here I still cry hot tears and I identify so much with all of you I have so much compassion with each one of you I guess there is so much more work that really needs to be done.

 

The role of a child abuse survivor is to purge there pain and I guess as Dr. Phil says use it as a catalyst as a healing agent but then what?  Do I have to live with the residual effects of abuse forever?

 

Am I forever corroded?  Come on Dr. Phil  right a follow up or send some one else who knows because I don't!  Am I just suppose to feel these hot tears?

I think the hardest thing in being a survivor is moving past the pain and the mental damage it's done to us.  I know that I've faced my abuse issues and sometimes felt that because I wasn't incest, I should not feel that I'm a survivor. 

 

I don't know how many times I worked on healing what happened to me and how it affected me. But it finally happened when I did Self Matters. I know I was molested at 8 years old.  I know that it screwed up my head, my life, my thinking, my happiness, my relationships with men, and the list is ever so long.  I still feel uncomfortable around children because WHAT IF I become a molestor.  What if I.....   But I know that it's not apart of who I am -- which has finally released me to be more open with my life mistakes and errors and most importantly forgiving myself for the wrong decisions I have made in my life.

 

I've cried those tears for many years - is it strange that I don't feel them any more?

 

Do you see a counselor?  If no, look for one that is into COGNITIVE THERAPY - that's Dr. Phil's area of expertise.  A support group is also helpful.  I was a member of one for a tiny little while and it really helped but I felt that I wasn't like them because incest wasn't involved - well, I'm not sure about that - however, I don't feel like it happened and that I'm not repressing any memories.

 
July 29, 2005, 3:11 am CDT

Hi...

Quote From: marcia52

I think the hardest thing in being a survivor is moving past the pain and the mental damage it's done to us.  I know that I've faced my abuse issues and sometimes felt that because I wasn't incest, I should not feel that I'm a survivor. 

 

I don't know how many times I worked on healing what happened to me and how it affected me. But it finally happened when I did Self Matters. I know I was molested at 8 years old.  I know that it screwed up my head, my life, my thinking, my happiness, my relationships with men, and the list is ever so long.  I still feel uncomfortable around children because WHAT IF I become a molestor.  What if I.....   But I know that it's not apart of who I am -- which has finally released me to be more open with my life mistakes and errors and most importantly forgiving myself for the wrong decisions I have made in my life.

 

I've cried those tears for many years - is it strange that I don't feel them any more?

 

Do you see a counselor?  If no, look for one that is into COGNITIVE THERAPY - that's Dr. Phil's area of expertise.  A support group is also helpful.  I was a member of one for a tiny little while and it really helped but I felt that I wasn't like them because incest wasn't involved - well, I'm not sure about that - however, I don't feel like it happened and that I'm not repressing any memories.

Thank you so much for your question...Do I see a counselor?  No more.  I am counselored out!  I did more for myself this summer reading Dr. Phil's books than in all those years in therapy,rehabs, and in my two hospital stays.  I am seeing a Dr. about twice a month to make sure my medications are correct.  This is because I choose to do it this way.  Pretty soon He will just see me once a month.

 

Prior to this I was medication free for a year just floating filled with anger and rage.  My cork popped reading LIFE STRATEGIES..  It is my deepest hope Dr. Phil writes a follow up...Residual effects of Survivors.

 

I also hope and i know that guy has it in him for him to develop a different class of disorder not BPD OR MPD  there is something else here and I would be his subject in a heartbeat!

 

Thanks for reading this post!

 
July 29, 2005, 7:29 am CDT

SELF MATTERS

I also read that but then around page 103 or something and I really cant recall right but something got all numbly in my brain as to what Dr. Phil wanted me to do I was truly unable to comprehend what he was asking me to do and I really cant get into now because I gave my girlfriend In PA the book who actually needed it MORE than me.  I know Ill get back to eventually.

 

This was the summer of the BIG read for me prior to this I didn't pick up a book for 3 years and that is sad because I am a bookworm nut!  So now as I promised myself I would do I bought Joel Olsen's book...But I also snuck in  Charles Stanleys "HOW TO LISTEN to GOD" After those to its on to NANCY Grace's I OBJECT!  then who knows where!

 

Thank you for listening and have a blessed day filled with God's LOVE!

 
July 29, 2005, 10:20 am CDT

RE childhood abuse

I don't think really that anyone truly gets over childhood abuse. we learn I guess to the best of all of our ablity to go on and make the most of our lives that we can. For me even at my age of 46 my mind still goes back to the memorys and the extreme pain of the abuse that started for me when I was only one years old and on and on and on.

I have DID was called MPD same disorder diff label. i struggle with this disorder every day, some days are better then others but mental illness I feel keeps us in many ways locked in the pain of what happen to us at least for me it so seems this way.   I have always wished that Dr Phil would do shows on DID and other mental disorders. I even send him an e mail at the beginning of his show asking about it but it wasnt responded to I know they cant respond to all.  i let it go.

I would so like to see him do more on these topics there importent many suffer from them and not everyone can get professional help for there illness. I have insurance ( medicaid) I am on disablity. but in colorado where I live you are told where you can go for help thru medicaid and where i have to go they said they dont deal with this illness. so i see someone for medication that i take off and on as i just dont like them much. but outside of that i have no help. i had help when i lived on East Coast but that was over 8 years ago. my partner is a great supporter he is soooooo good with all of my I love him so. but still its hard. I respect Dr Phil would like to hear how he feels ones with mental illness can actually move on and get rid of the pain if that is possible.  I am a mother of three grown sons that i am very close to but i know they never really understood this illness that eats away at me i somehow with friends and good support raised them the best I could but this disorder and my abuse effected them and probably still does to some degree. i try hiding this illness from my grandaughter as i never really gotten away from the shame of this and dont want her to ever fear me the way society has. thanks for listening. bjshawn.

 
July 29, 2005, 1:10 pm CDT

D.I.D.

Quote From: bjshawn

I don't think really that anyone truly gets over childhood abuse. we learn I guess to the best of all of our ablity to go on and make the most of our lives that we can. For me even at my age of 46 my mind still goes back to the memorys and the extreme pain of the abuse that started for me when I was only one years old and on and on and on.

I have DID was called MPD same disorder diff label. i struggle with this disorder every day, some days are better then others but mental illness I feel keeps us in many ways locked in the pain of what happen to us at least for me it so seems this way.   I have always wished that Dr Phil would do shows on DID and other mental disorders. I even send him an e mail at the beginning of his show asking about it but it wasnt responded to I know they cant respond to all.  i let it go.

I would so like to see him do more on these topics there importent many suffer from them and not everyone can get professional help for there illness. I have insurance ( medicaid) I am on disablity. but in colorado where I live you are told where you can go for help thru medicaid and where i have to go they said they dont deal with this illness. so i see someone for medication that i take off and on as i just dont like them much. but outside of that i have no help. i had help when i lived on East Coast but that was over 8 years ago. my partner is a great supporter he is soooooo good with all of my I love him so. but still its hard. I respect Dr Phil would like to hear how he feels ones with mental illness can actually move on and get rid of the pain if that is possible.  I am a mother of three grown sons that i am very close to but i know they never really understood this illness that eats away at me i somehow with friends and good support raised them the best I could but this disorder and my abuse effected them and probably still does to some degree. i try hiding this illness from my grandaughter as i never really gotten away from the shame of this and dont want her to ever fear me the way society has. thanks for listening. bjshawn.

     I had someone diagnose me with that. As a child and teen years I wondered about it. Not much is really ever said about it or done about it I don't think.

     I agree with you on the Dr. Phil show (hint hint monitors), there needs to be more awareness about mental illness, PTSD, all of that stuff. How to deal and heal if it is possible, or how manageable it can be.

     As far as getting a response from him, it is very hard I have emailed him a couple of times and, because of the volume I guess they get overlooked. I have heard that if you put urgent on it then you have a better chance of getting a response.

     I hope you have a good weekend!

  

 
July 29, 2005, 3:03 pm CDT

I Think OUR GREAT Dr. Phil Will

and shall come up with and develop a new disorder that people like US fell there the cracks.  We are helping him see patterns and I do believe that good ole boy! is going to come on in and save the day!  We are not borer line nor are we MP we should be called something else.  IBS  InjuredBIRDSyndrome  because once we heal whats wrong with us really all our problems will fly away!  NOT to be mistaken with IRRITABLE BOWEL SYNDROME!  xoxo
 
July 29, 2005, 4:20 pm CDT

Lablefree and all

I hope that we all have a great weekend and that we can have peace, We deserve it!
 
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