Quote From: foxylass You must belong to the group of people who actually do have some biochemical imbalance if medication actually did anything positive for you. Personally deciding to take the medications was the single biggest mistake of my life. Depression cannot be lumped into one basket and labelled a biochemical imbalance because it is not always the case even though psych organisations preach that it is.
Unless you have a crystal ball it is not possible to know what a human's serotonin level actually is. There is no scientific test to even tell you. It is a theory that applies to a portion of people who suffer depressive symptoms but it is always quoted as absolute fact. If you raise the serotonin level of someone with no imbalance it will cause suicidal ideation. After 7 days of taking Zoloft I was inexplicably suicidal. I had not been even close to that before taking it.But instead of recognising this as the adverse reaction it was, the shrink doubled the dose , added Melleril and admitted me to hospital. Over 8 yrs ,four different psychiatrists, being put on every conceivable antidepressant (SSRI,SNRI,TCA,MAOs produced before 2006) antipsychotics, Lithium, ECT (>80 times) , > 100 admissions to hospital and absolutely no counselling or psychotherapy during that time , I found myself deteriorating with every hour of every day. I was obese ( used to be underweight)from the medications and could barely walk due to the Parkinsonian symptoms the antipsychotics produced. I could also not string a sentence together anymore. I was dying.
Whilst on a holiday in the USA April 2004 , the penny dropped. If I didn't get off these meds I was going to die. They had not improved my life in any way. I tipped the Clozaril down the toilet and began weaning the rest of the meds over a six month period. Yes I suffered the physical withdrawal which is often called ' relapse' and it passed. Between April and December 2004 I had weaned off the two antipsychotics , valium and lost 40kg (77lbs). It took much longer to wean off the maximum dose of Effexor XR another six months.However, I finally got the counselling and psychotherapy never before offered or recommended to me. I have been off meds for 3 yrs. I am back at work in my former profession and do not suffer from depression at all. It never came back and it never will because psychotherapy gave me the tools to deal with the psychological burdens I was carrying. I shocked my final psychiatrist with my sudden recovery and he was gob smacked to know it came from weaning of the meds and getting the right help. He had labelled me as ' treatment resistant'. Only problem was the treatment wasn't the right one.
The bottom line is do what ever works for you ( apart from alcohol and illicit drugs). Don't be trapped into to thinking that somehow , some day ( after multiple changes in meds over an extended period of time) the meds will miraculously work and if they don't then you will never get better. Medication works for some but not all. Just as psychotherapy doesn't work for everyone. Make no assumptions. Your brain biochemistry is unique and not the same as the person standing next to you. So if what you are doing now still isn't working change what you are doing and it might just be the answer.
Thank you! I was on every known anti depressant and anti anxiety med several years ago, and had terrible side affects, including suicidal thoughts, homicidal thoughts, the depression and anxiety actually elevated for me. In fact, I was re-diagnosed because of that, and put on anti-psychotic meds. O, what a trip! Never want to take another; that was scary. I was on every one of those, too. Nothing worked positively for me.
I'm having extreme difficulty in overcoming the anxiety/depression due to abuse. My support people moved or died. For me, the chemical imbalance portion of depression was/is poor eating. I have to take vitamin b complex in order to get a lift. I also began taking potassium and that has curbed the anxiety.
However, I still struggle with anxiety and depression, due to sooo very much abuse that has been directed at me. I struggle with leaving my house to the point I just don't leave. I'm an Avon lady, and it has really put a damper on sales.
I came here for help, I'm not sure what to do any more. I just started counseling again with a Christian counselor I know, because I know he won't try to co-erce me into taking meds. I'm 40, on disability, in college and had to drop most of my classes again because of the stress. I'm tired of being on disability, not having money, not being able to get motivated to get out. I'm chronically late for everything, and I know the root of that goes back to abuse (again, by many, many people besides the original family). I do not know how to break the cycle of abuse. I'm so afraid of failure, I'm not putting much an effort into anything I do anymore. Almost everything I've tried, I've not done well, or have been put down for it, including in church. (now, that was ridiculous--I know it, but I cannot get past what has happened to me)
My family looks down on me, I'm the 'joke'. Because of poor choices I've made, and because i won't work. My main income is disability, and that's not much. My family members treat me as though I am lazy and do not want to work, and that just drives me nutso. I just had to humble myself and ask my father, main abuser for some financial assistance--AGAIN. He doesn't give much, even though he has a lot. I can somewhat understand his reasoning; after all, to him, I LOOK like a loser, lay about good for nothing. In fact, I look like that to many people who do not have empathy or understanding. Heck, I look like that to myself, too. I do the best I can do every day, and most of the time I'm very disappointed in myself and the things I didn't accomplish.
I panic whenever I try to do something most of the time, whether it's put my Avon order together, make jewelry, wash the dishes, take a shower, etc. absolutely EVERYTHING causes me so much panic, and I do not know how to overcome this. As I said, I know it has to do with the abuse, and I have great fear in moving forward for fear that I am going to fail and/or get hurt again. I cannot go on like this; I need to finish my degree and get a job.
So what do I do?
