Topic : Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder

I have never been to any kind of doctor or counselor. In fact, I have only told a hand full of people because I'm afraid of the reaction. I always knew that I was kind of different from my family, but I didn't realize it until I found out about OCD. I am constantly repeating actions, such has looking in the mirror, turning the television off and on, placing object in a specific order or repeating something I just said. I also have constant thoughts of my loved ones getting hurt or killed. Whenever I do I start panicking and try to erase them but it never works. This is seriously about to take its tole on me and I don't know how to help myself. Please someone tell me I'm not crazy and help me on what I should do about this. 

  First, I would like to say that I suffer (and, yes, it is suffering) from major depression, OCD, borderline personality disorder and other disorders that I am still being diganosed with. Sounds like the person you are referring to may also suffer from borderline personality disorder or some kind of personality disorder. 

  Until your family member accepts the fact that he/she has a mental health problem and seeks help, there is nothing you can do other than offer them love. Also, your statement isn't clear if you live with them or they live with you. If you live with them and can't tolerate their disorders, then move. If they live with you and you don't want to make them move, like I said before, offer them love and try to be understanding. Have you done any research on major depression, OCD, or other mental health problems? The internet is full of information and insight on what this person may be going through with their inner self. 

  Verbal attacks - been there and done that myself. Many times I have been on the giving end of verbal attacks to not only family members but strangers, co-workers, supervisors ... doesn't matter who it is. I realize the verbal attacks were not necessary but it is something that I can't control. And the worst thing the receiving person could do was say something back. 

  A lot of times, people who have depression just want to be left alone - literally, alone. I know I do. When I'm having a bad time with a depression attack, I don't want anyone saying anything to me, don't want to go anywhere and don't want to be around people. And this may not be the case for everyone who has depression. 

   Depression of any kind is a complicated disorder. It's hard for doctors to understand, people who don't have a depression disorder to understand and hard for the person who does have depression to understand. 

  This may not have helped you any, but if you're wanting to try to help, do some research as I suggested before. 

  Good luck and I hope your family member realizes soon they do need help. The quicker they receive the right kind of help, they better they could feel and others around them. 

  A last note, medicines don't always work. I take two different anti-depressant medicines a day and still have anxiety attacks, panic attacks, big time depression and it hasn't helped my personality disorder at all. 

My name is Jamie & I'm 38, well on Dec. 24th, I'll be 39.  I watch Dr. Phil a lot, but I didn't get to see his show on OCD.  I have e mailed Dr. Phil many times, even his wife Robin.  I believe that if anyone can help me, Dr. Phil & Robin can.  I have OCD, ADHD, severe depression, anxiety & I had one counselor who wasn't sure, but he thought that I may have Bipolar also & if all that isn't enough, I have Fibromyalgia which causes me a lot of pain every single day. I'm no Dr., but it's my understanding that Bipolar is when your moods go way up & then way down for no apparent reason.  Oh, my moods are up & down, up & down, up & down, but I believe my mood swings are because of external things that are happening in my life, such as my ex husband rarely lets me see my 13 yr. old daughter Ashley & my 10 yr. old son Matthew.  I die a little more inside everyday that I don't get to see them.  They are my life.  My family doesn't give me any support.  In fact, my sister told my brother's fiance that I'm crazy & all my mother does is judge me, criticize me & puts me down.  I was abused as a child & I don't have any memories whatsoever of my childhood.  The only memories I have as a child is of the abuse.  I vaguely remember the abuse.  Then I was emotionally/mentally abused by my first & my second husband.   Now, I just got married for a third time on Nov.9th of this yr. & am thinking about divorce already.  I feel I don't deserve any love or to have any nice things or to be happy.  I feel that I'm just a burden to my husband.  I keep telling him to go find someone better.  I feel that I'm ugly, stupid & that I deserve to be alone.  I don't want to be alone, but I can't keep putting my husband through this.  I have caused my husband too much pain already with suicide attempts & withdrawing & isolating from him.  Last summer I fell into a deep depression.  I spent almost 4 months 90% of the time & I would go a month without showering & I hardly ate anything.  I used to care how I looked; as a matter of fact I was obssessed with my looks.  I would never go more than one to one & a half days without showering.  It was almost 4 months before I started coming out of that deep depression & now, I'm falling right back into that deep depression.  Depression is not something you can just "wish away".  Depression is a very complex disorder.  There are many forms of depressions & many different things that can cause depression.  Depression is very difficult for people who don't understand it, such as my husband.   My husband doesn't understand & he doesn't even try to understand.  I don't even know all there is to know about depression, but I do know that it is consuming every aspect of my life.  Many days, I just lay in bed, with the covers over my head & wish that the world would just go away.  I've tried to kill myself many times & came close to dieing 3 times.  People tell me that God let me live because he has a purpose for me.  I have no purpose.  God couldn't  possibly have a purpose for a loser like me.  I ask God almost on a daily basis, to just take me.  I've given up trying to end my  life.  I feel God hates me & just wants to see me suffer.  I've recently been thinking about hitch hiking out of the state.  I live in Washington & I can't stand it here.  I've even got an application to work for Joyce Meyer Ministries.  My husband doesn't want me to fill the application out.  In fact, when it came in the mail, my husband hid the application from me & I was not happy when I finally found the application & he told me that he did try & hide it from me.  I want out of Washington St. so bad.  I don't want to be anywhere I'm not wanted.  I feel that I am not worth anything & I feel like such a "freak" because of all these mental problems that I have.  I need to find out who I, Jamie is.  I want to feel that I am worth something.  I am on Lexapro for Depression, Adderall for the ADHD, Kolonopin for anxiety.  I don't even know who I am & I don't think I ever did.  Well, I just needed to get that out.  No need to respond to this message.  I feel I am beyond  help.  There is no hope.........just no hope.  ~Jamie~ 

     I too have a OCD disorder.  My husband knows about it and jokes sometimes only to family about it.  It does not bother me that he jokes about it because it is silly and I recognize that.  I have not seen a doctor either but I am learning to LIVE WITH IT, not GET RID OF IT.  I do not want medication and I realize that it is like an addiction I may never shake.  My OCD is a little different however.  Some examples of what I obsess over are: dirty floors, dust, dirty clothes, trash cans, dirty dishes, loosing loved ones, being in the dark, forseeing future wars, etc.  

      I used to, but have learned to limit it, clean all day non-stop.  I went to school full time and my husband worked, so I was home A LOT.  The OCD did not start until I moved out on my own at 16.  When I got out of school I would mop, dust, vaccum, empty trash when a paper towel was in it, wash laundry even though it was one day's outfit, etc.  I wanted control over my life.  After my husband said I can not live like this you have to control it I will help you, it got better.  He said I will start helping you clean.  He would tell me he cleaned when I came home, so I didnt have to.  (Although he was lying I now know).  But that wasn't good enough.  I realized it was a control issue.  Even if he cleaned I would go behind him and do it.  I had to be busy 24/7.  Now I leave the house at 5:30 and get home at 7:00 (work, school, and a baby).  That does not leave me much time to freak out over the cleanliness of the house.  I also obsess over even numbers.  The t.v. channels, volume, looking at something, I secretly do things in even numbers, but no one knows because I promised my husband I would stop.  I was draining him, 

     The other part to my OCD is this.... I constantly play scenarios of death in my head.  I imagine scenes where my husband is killed and that his parents will steal my child and stuff.  I imagine/dream about missles and bombs killing my family in my home or other families that I do not know.  I will not sleep in the dark or close my door.  I am afraid there will be a fire and I wont get out or I am afraid that a robber will break in and I wont seem them because its dark.  I wont walk by windows at night or go outside.   

     I think all of this is psychological and its me afraid of the unknown and trying to control what I can in my life.  Because of all the things I can not control in my life.  I suggest writing the TRUTH down when you have obsessive thoughts.  Tell yourself outloud there are obsessive thoughts when they happen.  Make a list and put it on your bathroom mirror of things that will help you realize whats real and what you should not obsess about.  I do not know the extent of your OCD, maybe I can help further if I do.   

Good Luck, 

Brittanie 

hi. I really have only read alot about OCD. I am sorry that you are put through so much with your husband. I mean like all the blaming he does. Please go to counseling and stick by your husband.   

I have depression and anxiety and I would have appreciated my spouse sticking by me and helping out. i miss my spouse so much. we are seperated now and probably going for a divorce.  

anyway good luck 

Deidre, 

When it comes to obsessional thoughts, the best thing to do is to try and seperate yourself from the thoughts allowing them to run UNCHALLENGED in the background as if you have two brains. The thoughts are a product of OCD, and not your everyday rational thinking process. OCD and obsessional thoughts get worse when you challenge them, try to solve them, try to understand them, or ruminate about them. In my experience, even checking in your mind if they are still there sometimes brings them back. I know this is not easy, trust me I know, but it does work over time and with practice.  

Realize also that success in dealing with pure obsessional thoughts are not instant. It takes time. Days, weeks, even months. However, the worst thing to do is question or challenge them, this only makes things worse. Also realize, you can obsess over anything, and I mean anything. The hardest thing I have had problems with has been having insight into when I have been obsessing and when I am just normal problem solving, however this is my advice, " If you have having doubts about something (In the absence of concrete reason to have doubts, normally you either: know, don't know, or are unsure and look for information), are searching for certainty, wanting to find perfection, not feeling good enough and looking for the perfect or best  way  to be good enough, wanting to avoid rejection or hurt, avoiding doing things", then those thoughts and actions are OCD related. Having uncertainty associated with anxiety is OCD. 

Also check out: ocfoundation.org & ocdonline.com (articles by Steven Phillipson) 

I hope this was of some help, 

James    

I guess I don't understand what the problem is.  I have been unable to work for 4 years now due to various handicaps.  To keep myself from going "stir crazy" I do a lot of things around the house...how does that make a person "OCD".