Message Boards

Topic : 07/09 "You Owe Me an Apology!"

Number of Replies: 120
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Thursday, July 05, 2007, 02:30:43 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
These guests want an apology from a loved one, but the loved one refuses to say he or she is sorry! Christie says her husband, Vance, has abused her physically and emotionally. She says that not only did she have to have him arrested, but that he’s disrespectful to his stepchildren and calls them names like “sissy” and “promiscuous whore.” He has even been fired from three jobs for alleged sexual harassment. Vance says he does not owe his wife an apology, and his name-calling is just preparing the kids for the real world. Then, Tammy says she’s furious with her husband, Charles, who got gastric bypass surgery against her wishes. She says the surgery changed him for the worst and turned him into a cheater. Charles says he’s never cheated on his wife, and refuses to apologize for a surgery that saved his life. Is Tammy the one who owes Charles an apology for her suspicious behavior? Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

More July 2007 Show Boards.

As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

July 7, 2007, 11:33 am CDT

Apologize?

What would be the point in Vance apologizing? He needs a Man Camp visit. Why did the wife not want the husband to have gastric-bypass surgery. If she was already feeling jealous, then this is another topic altogether. He probably did it for his health. Why should he apologize for doing it? I think they have other issues.
 
July 7, 2007, 1:15 pm CDT

sad

its sad that today in age women still choose men over there children honey get out of there fast .your children are going to hate you for allowing this man to verbally abuse them.get a back bone or lose your children forever.
 
July 7, 2007, 1:19 pm CDT

07/09 "You Owe Me an Apology!"

Quote From: flthomcat

Vance was obviously a loser prior to marriage, so one has to wonder why Christie married him...and then brought children into the relationship!

 

From the short blurb on Vance, he doesn't sound as though he has any redeaming qualities; any decent woman deserves MORE THAN an apology from him, but he doesn't sound like the type to give one and mean it. Anxious to see, though!

.

Tammy and her husband are lacking communication, trust and lots of other important variables that are necessary for a healthy, happy marriage. Hopefully Dr. Phil can help. Life is too short to be jealous, unhappy, unhealthy and living in chaos!!!

It's sad that today in age women still choose men over there children.

honey get out of there fast. your children are going to hate you for allowing that man to verbally abuse them. Get a back bone or lose your children forever.

 
July 7, 2007, 2:12 pm CDT

Abuse and I keep running away

I have been abused,harrasssed .choked by a nan for over twenty years.
I have moved gotten many restraining orders and a permanent order  but the last three years he has been violating the order more and has been convicted of  it,he gers off lightly becaseu he knows someone
He ihas a crimnal history and my life is more in danger and I live in terrible fear.
I see him everywhere I go
I had to hire a private lawyer to help me,so courts will lister. It is very expensive
I am afraidito go anywhere and I live on a shorr lease,
Abuse is awful- I need an apology and money for teh compensation of loss of wages and having t o mean and living in fear.  Many have said to me that he is stalking me. Abusive men are very scary and these type of sociopaths never say they are sorry. instead thye say it is your fault.
 
July 7, 2007, 2:58 pm CDT

07/09 "You Owe Me an Apology!"

Quote From: flthomcat

Vance was obviously a loser prior to marriage, so one has to wonder why Christie married him...and then brought children into the relationship!

 

From the short blurb on Vance, he doesn't sound as though he has any redeaming qualities; any decent woman deserves MORE THAN an apology from him, but he doesn't sound like the type to give one and mean it. Anxious to see, though!

.

Tammy and her husband are lacking communication, trust and lots of other important variables that are necessary for a healthy, happy marriage. Hopefully Dr. Phil can help. Life is too short to be jealous, unhappy, unhealthy and living in chaos!!!

 I do so agree with you.  I cry buckets of tears for the children of these women.  Why do women allow some so-called man to treat them this way?  And much worse to allow their precious children to be ruined.  Why oh why is having a bad man better than having no man?  I don't get it.
 
July 7, 2007, 4:03 pm CDT

07/09 "You Owe Me an Apology!"

Christie needed to be out of the relationship yesterday.  Why is she even with a man who abuses her and insults her children.  Insulting the children would be enough for me to hightail out of that worthless marriage. 
 
July 7, 2007, 4:06 pm CDT

07/09 "You Owe Me an Apology!"

Quote From: lmwatson

 My former husband after 22 years of me giving up jobs and moving so HE could succeed, had an affair with my boy's  "female" boy scout leader.

He is still with her.  They broke up 2 families.

I deserve an apology for all the hurt he put me through and just tossing me aside so he could give everything we worked for to a new person.

Your cheating husband and his new hussy deserve each other.  They are both cheaters and will probably cheat on each other. 

 
July 7, 2007, 6:28 pm CDT

07/09

Quote From: patriots_fan

APOLOGY???? This woman needs to walk out on this jerk yesterday! Anyone who would talk to children that way needs to have Social Services involved. That is verbal abuse, and can be as detrimental as physical abuse.

As for the gastric bypass surgery. Aren't things like that supposed to be joint decisions?

As for Vance his wife needs to leave his a**.  Anyone that will talk to kids the way he does needs to be by themselves. 

 

As for the gastric bypass.  Im a heavyset woman and would never think of getting it done.  but If he tried everything to get the weight off and this was the only thing that helped him then his wife should be happy and if shes not happy then they need to go talk to someone to find out why shes not happy.  And if its cuz she thinks he will cheat then she needs major help.  Just my opinion. 

 
July 7, 2007, 7:05 pm CDT

07/09 "You Owe Me an Apology!"

This looks interesting.

First of all, buddy, the first time you called my daughter a "promiscuous Whore" well lets just say I know where I'd be for the next twenty five years.  How in the WORLD does THAT prepare them for reality ? Look, just because YOU might call women that every day, dosen't mean ANYONE else does, as a matter of fact, a respectable person goes through MOST days not thinking or saying anything even remotely that NASTY to ANYONE, much less a kid.

Physical and emotional abuse DEMANDS MORE than an apology, seems after your spouse hits you "I'm sorry " just dosen't cut it.  But that being said, leaving isn't as easy as some would make it sound, I get that, but Children SHOULD NEVER be expected to live like this, its the way I feel, No CHILD should ever have to live in a home or with an adult that is a threat to their emotional or physical wellbeing.

As for the gastric bypass, it seems to me that when the person starts to lose the weight, and starts to become maybe more attractive to others (okay, I don't mean that plus sizes can't be attractive, no offense intended), its common for the other partner to become jealous.  Okay so then I would ask, did you marry a plus size for the security of knowing that  no one else would want them ?

As an adult , he has chosen to LIVE, and if bypass was his only option, its his life his body NOT HERS, dosen't the Doc himself ask "Why are you waiting for him/her to decided what to do with your life ?"  If he's given her NO REASON to doubt him, then its HER problem, and she needs to deal with it, because  he will cheat if she keeps making false accusations.

Well wait and see, this sure beats the reruns

 

 
July 7, 2007, 8:21 pm CDT

Apologies Needed

Vance owes Christie an apology and also probably needs to go to Marriage Counseling with her.  If one or the other doesn't show consistently then a divorce is in order.

 

In the other case, I'm not sure, but I think that decisions in a marriage should be made together, because the husband and wife are supposed  to be one.  So, I guess if he didn't discuss gastric bypass with his wife, first, then he was wrong unless he thought she was just after something like life insurance money.  If either party cheats in a sexual relationship (especially serious in marriage), then the cheater has put his/her partner's health, and perhaps life, at risk from diseases such as herpes or HIV.

 
First | Prev | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | Next | Last