Topic : 07/10 Slacker Wives and Moocher Moms

I think that there is a double standard to freeloading. If you are an 18 year old college student who lives at home and even though you have earned your keep, it is a horrible lifestyle-it's all Shame-On-You this and that banter. The shame-on-you principle does not apply if you are a SAHM who does not work nor parent and all you do is shop and get facials,in fact,it is a respectable occupation.

"If you are an 18 year old college student who lives at home and even though you have earned your keep, it is a horrible lifestyle-it's all Shame-On-You"

 

Its so common for college students to either live at home, and don't pay for bills or live in dorms/apartments paid by parents. There is nothing wrong with that cause its hard to work full time on your degree and work a full time job. I don't think really any parent mind helping there college kid out. I wouldn't mind it would be welcomed.

 

"The shame-on-you principle does not apply if you are a SAHM who does not work nor parent and all you do is shop and get facials,in fact,it is a respectable occupation."

 

SAHM is a respectable occupation, but not parenting and just shopping and doing facials all day isn't a SAHM its a lazy woman. SAHM do ALOT of stuff, cleaning the home, cooking the meals, doing bills, teaching there children, plus doing whatever you can to help your husband in his work.

 

I think there is more of a taboo on SAHM then you think, other woman look down on us sahm cause we should get out of the house toss our kids into daycare and work a full time job. I believe for myself that its important to have 1 SAHP be it mother or father its important for the child to know they can always count on you.

 

I enjoyed coming home from school and having my mother there so if I had a bad day I could talk to her about it. My mother knew almost everything I was going through from the time I was born till now i'm 25 I still come and talk to my mom either about good things bad things or just nothing just to talk. I have a great relationship with my parents and I think its cause I knew I could always depend on them.

I couldn't help but take notice of the mom who was sometimes sleeping in her van.  The parallels to my own mother are disturbing, right down to the make and color of the van!!! 

She's actually my stepmother but she adopted me and I do care about her... but her life is a mess and she's been asked to move out of her rental home.  She doesn't work, but she could if she made the effort.  She's had some bad things happen in her life, setbacks, but not enough to give up on life and continue mooching off her kids.  There are people who live in countries in shacks with dirt floors and they still get up every morning and at least TRY to improve their situations.

My sister actually bought her a house, asked Mom to pay rent, and maybe got 3 months rent for her efforts.  Now my sister has a house she can't sell (she had to ask Mom to move out after 2 years, my sister has been trying to sell the house for almost 2 years now because she can't make the house note payments, it's too much for her financially).

I was selling stuff for Mom on Ebay and loaned her several thousand dollars over the past 3 years but haven't gotten a penny back.  My husband and I have loaned her $16,000 and that's all we've got (we put ourselves into debt trying to help her).

Anyway early this month I just basically told Mom I can't do it anymore and quit sending money and paying bills for her.  Now she lives in a tent in someone's backyard.  Probably by now her van has been repossessed, I don't know.  I felt awful doing that but I'm 45 years old and I have no life because of all the worry and debt (and illness due to the worry).

She's contributed to my feeling terrible about this by emailing me from a friend's house to ask me to explain "how I could do this to her" [shut off the money drip].

She has had two of my stepbrothers living with her all this time and they have done nothing to contribute - technically you could say I've been supporting them, too.

Cutting her loose was the hardest thing I've ever done, but I realize I've been enabling her and in some ways disabling her as well but making her too dependent on me.  I've had terrible depression since I did this but time and distance may help.

Just sharing my story, not sure if anyone still reads this thread but had to get this out of my system.  I thought my sister would post about this here too, we were both stunned by the similarities, but she's been busy trying to get rid of the house she bought for Mom to live in.

Time to get on with living my life, I guess!

I said you should count your blessings, I never said you don't take care of your kids. 

I saw your show, I know its been a while since its been on but I just felt like getting this out. My mom is  a moocher. As soon as my siblings and I started working she started mooching, when my sister was working during her senior year my mom would pick up her checks while she was at school and my sister wouldnt see a dime. While my other sister was in college she used her credit card and charged over $2,000 and then opened a separate credit and charged another $1500. Like I said it would take me all day to explain how horrible she is with money, but even her own mother left all her insurance to me and my sisters because she didnt trust her with the money. Its too complicated to try and explain right now, but I definitely know how you feel.

 This wife who is the queen bee needs to get over herself truly and her husband needs to grow a set and kick her to the curb.  Disgusting that any woman would be a prima donna like this but even more that the man lets her get away with it