Message Boards

Topic : 07/10 Slacker Wives and Moocher Moms

Number of Replies: 162
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Thursday, July 05, 2007, 02:31:45 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Dr. Phil speaks with self-proclaimed slacker wives and moocher moms, who admit they fall short in the mom and wife categories. Keya is a stay-at-home mom who spends 18 hours a day in bed, while her husband, Tyrone, works and does everything around the house, including waiting on her hand and foot. Keya considers herself a “rich man’s wife, but Tyrone says he’s not rich at all, and he’s tired of feeling more like her maid than her husband. Dr. Phil has a surprise for Keya! Next, Nick and Tara turn in their mother, Rita, who is unemployed, living in her van -- when she’s not crashing at their homes -- and constantly receiving handouts from her family. Her family claims she’s even taken money from her grandson’s piggy bank! Are her kids to blame for always coming to her rescue? Then, a mooching mom makes her daughters feel guilty if they don’t pay her bills and give her cash. She has a job, so why is she taking her daughter’s student loan money? Talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

More July 2007 Show Boards.

As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

July 10, 2007, 1:38 pm CDT

Slacking or Depressed?

I work ft.  I have 3 kids.  I have a husband that accuses me of being a slacker.  He has called me worthless. useless.  a "malingerer".

 

He asked me to read the message board about the one STAY AT HOME mom and compared me to her, as I've been sleeping a lot.  By the way, I had major surgery on my clubbed foot on 6/19/07. 

 

I've had many days off work in preparation for and then recovery from my surgery.  He actually asserted that my big two weeks recovery was a "vacation".  He asserts that I don't DO ANYTHING.  He also asserts that no one on this board is "supportive" of slackers and if they could SEE how useless I am, they would agree.

 

Even though I work, I don't make as much money as he does, so he throws that in my face.  My work does not yield a huge net; however, it does cover our entire family w/health benefits. 

 

Frankly, I'm disgusted that my husband thinks so little of me that he would assert that I am like a stay home mom slacker.  But, frankly, it's hard to feel good about yourself when your mate rarely if ever has anything nice to say and blames ALL marital issues on you. 

 

Perhaps she's depressed.   I know I am.

 
July 10, 2007, 1:44 pm CDT

i wish i could be a slacker!!

     I am a stay at home mom of 3.  We have a 4 year old daughter and twin 3 month old boys.  I cannot imagine laying in bed all day.  I wish i could!!!  Every morning starts at no later than 6AM with the boys feeding.  The only reason i get to sleep that late is my husband is gracious enough to take care of them if they wake up in the middle of the night.  At around 7:30 our little girl wakes up.  Then breakfast for her and my husband and me if i am lucky.  My husband leaves for work at 830.  I am on my own.  I have to handle the two babies with diaper changing feeding and cleaning plus take care of a 4 year olds constant attention wanting.  Amongst all that there are dishes to be washed, clothes to be washed, floors to be swept., toys to be picked up. Then lunchtime.  While my 4 year old eats i usually try to bathe the boys or get them down for a nap.  While they nap i spend quality time with my daughter.  Around 430 i begin getting dinner started.  It usually takes an hour or so to do that.  My husband comes home at 530.  We sit down and eat.  While he spends time with the children i clean up the dinner mess.  Then i finally get to sit.  This only lasts about 30 minutes before something else needs to be done. 830 PM our daughter gets a bath.  This is followed by a healthy snack of usually mixed veggies.  She is ready for bed around 930.  The boys by now need to be changed and cuddled.  We usually get them to sleep around 11.  One day a week my mother in law takes the kids overnight.  I use this time to catch up on any housework i wasnt able to get done.  What i find funny is on that day if my husband calls and i am not doing anything he calls me lazy!!!  I clean the house and i take care of the kids all week.  I take out the trash because apparently even it it sits right by the door he doesnt see it.  I am recording this episode so he can watch it, maybe he will appreciate everything i do.  I cannot imagine a mother not wanting to be a mother.  I dont care how overwhelming it is!  Imagine having a 3 year old and finding out you are pregnant with twins!  I love my children, and i love my family.  I enjoy spending time with my kids every day.  Laziness is not an option.  I remember one time last month i was sick.   I asked my husband to go ahead and get the kids up since it was the weekend and he was home.  He looked at me like i was speaking spanish.  Needless to say it was cereal for breakfast that day.  The good thing being that you cant really have the normal couple spats when you dont have time to speak to each other!  My reason for writing this is because i just cant see why anyone wouldnt take their responsibilities seriously.  You brought these children into the world, you have a responsibility to be a mother.  It can also be the most rewarding thing in the world!  When you spend time with your kids and are active in their lives they turn out to be productive intelligent individuals.  We took our daughter to get tested for pre school.  In the town we live there are only so many spots available due to lack of funding.  When she was tested they wouldnt let her in because she scored too high on test.  I honestly believe it is because we are active loving parents and she is growing up in a nourishing environment.  My kids are going to be somebody when they grow up and its because i get off my butt!
 
July 10, 2007, 2:06 pm CDT

07/10 Slacker Wives and Moocher Moms

Quote From: jenx64

I work ft.  I have 3 kids.  I have a husband that accuses me of being a slacker.  He has called me worthless. useless.  a "malingerer".

 

He asked me to read the message board about the one STAY AT HOME mom and compared me to her, as I've been sleeping a lot.  By the way, I had major surgery on my clubbed foot on 6/19/07. 

 

I've had many days off work in preparation for and then recovery from my surgery.  He actually asserted that my big two weeks recovery was a "vacation".  He asserts that I don't DO ANYTHING.  He also asserts that no one on this board is "supportive" of slackers and if they could SEE how useless I am, they would agree.

 

Even though I work, I don't make as much money as he does, so he throws that in my face.  My work does not yield a huge net; however, it does cover our entire family w/health benefits. 

 

Frankly, I'm disgusted that my husband thinks so little of me that he would assert that I am like a stay home mom slacker.  But, frankly, it's hard to feel good about yourself when your mate rarely if ever has anything nice to say and blames ALL marital issues on you. 

 

Perhaps she's depressed.   I know I am.

No doubt you are depressed. I'm sorry but it sounds like your hubby has issues. I work part-time outside the house as well as maintaining the household. which means the majority of the housework, shopping , taking the kids ( I have 3 as well)  to and from activities, appts. and the park. i also take my husband to and from work. I work just as hard as he does (I used to work 60 hours a week outside the home) and i do believe being at home more is actually harder and my husband agrees. it is also more rewarding.

  Maybe your husband should walk a mile in your shoes before he starts name-calling.

 
July 10, 2007, 2:07 pm CDT

slacker

I am a stay at home mom due to a back injury I sustained at a previous nursing job I had over two years ago.  What I can't understand is this woman is healthy, her children are healthy, and she has a very tolerant, patient, supportive, and enabling spouse that would turn on a drop of a dime to help her maintain their household after working his full time job!!!!!!!!!!!!  What a waste of a life with her family.  Her family is the one suffering the most................... I can't believe that woman is wasting her time being a slacker instead of counting God's blessing.  She has a beautiful family and is able to stay at home to make their home a place of peace, love, and make it fulfilling for everyone involved.  I wish I could be able to move around with my husband & our family.  When you have a back injury that has not been treated due to the politics and red tape of workers' comp insurance companies, it is very difficult to sit back and watch everyones' life pass you by.  I love to bake, l love to fish, and I love to be outdoors with my family and would give anything to be able to do these things with them. 
 
July 10, 2007, 2:23 pm CDT

moochers

As I watched the show, it struck home. My 29 year old daughter and her 2 daughters has been living with us since Feb. 2007, after her divorce. The agreement was for her to buy groceries. That is all my husband asked of her, so she could get on her feet. She was working,but not saving money. Then about 2 months her boyfriend moved in with us as well. Yes, I agree I was stupid.....Since all this neither one is working, I gave them a month notice that it was time for them to move out. Now everything is ALL my fault, she lost her job, and has not looked for anyplace to move, nor has she had any intention of moving. It has caused alot of problems, thinking I was helping her, to all her problems are my fault.......PLEASE HELP, I need some sort of advice.... I am sticking to my guns, she has 21 days from today to move out. My grandkids are welcome to stay with me or there daddy. They are only 7and 6.
 
July 10, 2007, 2:24 pm CDT

My Sister needs help!

Dr Phil and viewers,

My sister has been a moocher/bumb for nine years now.She is turning 30 July the 14th. This all started when she found out she was going to have my niece. She has never kept a job. She is addicted to prescription drugs and cigarettes. This whole family has tried to help her. She uses her daughter as a meal ticket. Everybody mainly helps her now because of my niece. My husband doesn't even want her to come back to our house.

She has never had her own place,she stays anywhere she can. Our family cant do anything with her because she doesn't want to help herself.She threatens to go to a woman shelter and I told her to go,but she doesn't.She tries to put guilt trips on all of us.It s her fault. I know that she is sick mentally,but she does everything else she wants to do,why not get a job and her own place!PLEASE HELP with some advice!! Thanks

 

 
July 10, 2007, 2:26 pm CDT

Has it even occured to anyone...

That the first mother...the slacker mom...could be depressed or have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome?  
 
July 10, 2007, 2:29 pm CDT

Just plain lazy

Quote From: housewife52

Keya sounds more like she is depressed. I could not stay in bed that long. I get up at 6:00 everymorning to make coffee and walk the dogs. There is always something to do around the house. I also have flowers outside and mow the yard. I like to cook-I'm always trying out new recipes because the same old dishes can be boring. My kids are grown so I'm through that stage. Now I have to admit sometimes I have days when I slack a bit. Sometimes I just cannot get going full speed. But on the whole I work pretty hard at home. I have no desire to stay in the bed for hours. Even if I wanted to, it would make my joints hurt. I feel better when I'm moving about.
Im a stay at home mom for about 3 1/2 years now. I have 2 small kids and find nothing BUT things to do around the house !!! My husband would never be ok with me sleeping my day away and I think Keya husband need a back bone . Keya is just lazy and useless to her kids , her husband will only put up with it for so long. She need to get a life and take better care of of home husband and children !!!
 
July 10, 2007, 2:33 pm CDT

Dr. Phil didn't get it right

Just sticking up a bit for the ladies who went to the dealer with bad credit to buy a car.

I have been a finance director for a multi-franchise car dealership. My department specialized in special finance,for people with bad credit. 

 If these ladies walked into my dealership and needed a car,the first thing I would do is to tell the sales person to sit them down while I went through thier credit,and found the cheapest new car that I could.

 These ladies have two choices if they want a vehicle. One: go to a dealer with reputable service and financing,Or Two: go to a note lot where your down payment is twice what the car is actually worth,and your payments are the profit for the propriator.(these cars usually break down within 60days)

 Special finance lenders plan for the fact that they WILL re-possess.So they will only allow people with the worst credit ,to finance very new,very low milage cars.This way they might bring more at auction when the bank gets them back. Also if  there were to be mechanical problems with an older car,which is out of warranty, buyers with issues such as these, feel as though they should not have to make payments on the car. When an older,worn out car is re-possesed, the bank gets a car that is not only worh less,but does not run,and has not been maintained.(Folks who do not pay thier bills usually do not change oil,etc...)

 In todays market,most people can get a car with $1000.00 down payment,and banks will only approve buyers to have a percentage of the total income,go toward the car payment. Debt to income ratio is a primary determining factor for approval.

 With $1000.00 it would be unlikely to find a safe reliable car that would last more than 3 months.(at least in my part of the country) At auction, if a car rides,drives and the a/c works,it brings quite a bit of cash. It goes to the note lot,where someone will get $2500.00 down and $300.00 a month for 36 months.(or as long as the car keeps running)

 Bottom line, at a dealership, for these ladies, It was most likely :New car,or No car.

Just my two cents-

Katherine from Texas 

 
July 10, 2007, 2:33 pm CDT

SLACKER MOM AND WIFE

This show really hit home.

I have been watching this play out for 3 years now being the Father -Mother-wife and everything else.

His wife does nothing. He gets up at 4am and has the baby fed, dressed and to the baby sitter by 5:30am evey day works from 6am until 4pm picks the baby up which is a 45 minute drive each way, goes to the store buy diapers, milk, etc. Goes home feeds the baby, cleans the house then baths the baby and puts her to bed.

Oh He is MARRIED by the way his wife DOES NOTHING!

On Saturday she sleeps until at least 12 noon and then gets up lays on the couch and watches TV. My brother takes care of the baby as his wife ignores her if she cries while his wife is asleep.

 

He Does eveything -she does NOTHING ! She won't clean or go to the store unless he goes to the grocery with her. She has never stopped to buy milk or diapers.

 

It is hard to watch him burning out early because he has no help at all from his wife.

I stand back and shake my head - I know he puts up with it beacuse he does not want  to loose his daughter. He knows the child would suffer if his wife was granted  full custody or even shared custody of the child.  

It is sad for him and his daughter. 

 

 
First | Prev | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Next | Last