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Topic : 07/10 Slacker Wives and Moocher Moms

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Created on : Thursday, July 05, 2007, 02:31:45 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Dr. Phil speaks with self-proclaimed slacker wives and moocher moms, who admit they fall short in the mom and wife categories. Keya is a stay-at-home mom who spends 18 hours a day in bed, while her husband, Tyrone, works and does everything around the house, including waiting on her hand and foot. Keya considers herself a “rich man’s wife, but Tyrone says he’s not rich at all, and he’s tired of feeling more like her maid than her husband. Dr. Phil has a surprise for Keya! Next, Nick and Tara turn in their mother, Rita, who is unemployed, living in her van -- when she’s not crashing at their homes -- and constantly receiving handouts from her family. Her family claims she’s even taken money from her grandson’s piggy bank! Are her kids to blame for always coming to her rescue? Then, a mooching mom makes her daughters feel guilty if they don’t pay her bills and give her cash. She has a job, so why is she taking her daughter’s student loan money? Talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

More July 2007 Show Boards.


 
housewife52
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chillin'
July 10, 2007, 3:41 pm PDT

I was wondering about the situation myself.

Quote From: rhickerson

I also think 18 hours of sleep indicates depression more than laziness.  It is a lot of fun to just say "Get up!", but probably not much help.  Add the embarrassment of mopping the floor on national television, so we all could just laugh out loud.  I wonder how much public humiliation helps depression and/or low self esteem?  I also wonder if maybe her husband is controlling his life (and wife) by doing everything himself.  Sorry, Dr. Phil, but I think you could have done a lot more for that slacker than you did.  Or maybe you did too much.

 

 

Before I saw the show, I was thinking she has got to be depressed. But ,watching the show, Keya didn't present the problem as depression.(In her own words I mean) But ,as I watched the video of her in bed with the tv on, her child climbing around on the bed, I was still thinking"depression." She has a very unique husband,one that comes home from his job and cooks and cleans and delivers her food and drink to her. I have a wonderful husband,but there ain't gonna be no days like that, except the times I have been sick, which up to now has been few and far between. I think Keya has been missing out on life a whole lot and I hope she can make a change. I couldn't help but think about the people in my life who have lost thier health and would have given anything to have been able to get up and go about thier day . And, if taking out the trash is a man's job, I think I need a chromosome check. I've been taking out the trash forever.And then loading it up on my little dump truck and taking it down the driveway for the garbage men to pick up. And don't even get me started on moppin' the floor. (There ain't a mop handle manufactured yet that don't fit my hands.) Anyway ,good luck Keya. Please don't let your life pass you by.
 
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sarajane
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July 10, 2007, 3:44 pm PDT

Have her arrested

What this "mother" is doing is illegal and she deserves to be in prison.
Good enough for Paris, good enough for this "mom".

A mom does not behave this way, not a good mom.
 
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bullock607
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July 10, 2007, 3:45 pm PDT

Slacker Wives

I believe in marriage both men and women should share responsibility or am I just being naive?  I like to cook and don't mind doing laundry, but I hate cleaning the bathroom.  I think in order for a marriage to work both partners has to pitch in.
 
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sarajane
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July 10, 2007, 3:47 pm PDT

Evidently YOU haven't listened

Quote From: lwinkel22

Hi everyone!  I could really relate to today's show.  I am not a slacker wife, but I most definately have a "slacker husband".  I am a stay-at-home mom of three children and he works full-time as security at a nuclear facility.  He believes since he works then he shouldn't have to do anything.  He says since he pays the bills, then I should do everything else. 

 

Here is a list of things I have to do:

1.  laundry (includes wash, fold, and put away)

2.  dishes  (we have a dishwasher and he still won't help)

3.  clean, clean, clean

4.  cook

5.  garbage

6.  mow the yard

7.  weeding

8.  rake leaves

9.  clean gutters...I haven't done that because I am afraid of heights

10.  basically everything

 

He just works and plays softball.  I am soo frustrated.  My kids help out, but it isn't the same.  We have three bathrooms and our main toilet continuously runs so he turned it off.  He put a sign on the toilet telling everybody not to use it.  He bought the parts to fix it four months ago.  Needless to say; it hasn't been fixed yet.  He thinks staying at home with the kids isn't considered a job.  Apparently he hasn't listened to Dr. Phil. 

It's obvious YOU have not been listening to Dr. Phil, either.

You teach people how to treat you.

Soooo......you put yourself in the position and allow it to continue. Why?
That's a question only YOU can answer....because he supports you?
Because it's easier than being alone? Inside and maybe when the
hormones are flowing - you really know the reason you remain. And it ain't love.

The only time it seems females are honest with themselves about what's going
on in their lives is when the hormones are in charge. Listen to them.
 
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angelchandni
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July 10, 2007, 3:52 pm PDT

overworked mother

 I am a self employed over worked mother of three.  I have one ex who has decided to stop paying his very small amount of 200.00 a month for our two kids and the father of the youngest promised me the world!  Ten years later,  I am still struggling while this narcistic idiot complains over having to pay 200.00 to 300.00 a month.  I now have 3 jobs from home to make ends meet because of believing in these 2 men.  The first mother that lays in bed 18 hours a day made me furious, because I would give almost anything to have a man to do just half of what her man is doing!  She needs to REALLY see and appriciate what she has got!  If he has a brother who is single, PLEASE send him my way!  I am a very giving person and have been searching for a man like her's to give back to who would REALLY appriciate me, all the children and a real loving committed family/marriage situation.
 
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kb2007
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July 10, 2007, 3:52 pm PDT

Slacker husand

My husband is like the women in this show.  I make more money and have more education so the bills ended up in my name.  I have to hound him to help with bills and if he does give me money, he just turns around and borrows it back, and more, a week later.  He gladly helps me rack up my credit debt and buy whatever and when the bill comes it is now my responsibility and he is unavailable to discuss it.    He promised to pay the Day Care tuition and then never said another word about it.  The money he makes go to his own desires since obtaining his job: car, fishing, clothes.  He does not contribute to utilities, insurance, or the mortgage.  I buy food for me and my son and my husband eats what he finds from that.  Other than that, he buys fast food to eat.  We were better off financially when he stayed home with our son, before he got his associates degree.  He also leaves the day to day chores and taking care of our son  up to me and whines and complains if he has to help me.  The lesson I've learned is to live within my own means and not depend on his income.  I think that is most unfortunate in a marriage.  Thanks for letting me vent.  
 
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housewife52
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chillin'
July 10, 2007, 3:53 pm PDT

I was a SAHM also and our stories are somewhat similiar.

Quote From: lwinkel22

Hi everyone!  I could really relate to today's show.  I am not a slacker wife, but I most definately have a "slacker husband".  I am a stay-at-home mom of three children and he works full-time as security at a nuclear facility.  He believes since he works then he shouldn't have to do anything.  He says since he pays the bills, then I should do everything else. 

 

Here is a list of things I have to do:

1.  laundry (includes wash, fold, and put away)

2.  dishes  (we have a dishwasher and he still won't help)

3.  clean, clean, clean

4.  cook

5.  garbage

6.  mow the yard

7.  weeding

8.  rake leaves

9.  clean gutters...I haven't done that because I am afraid of heights

10.  basically everything

 

He just works and plays softball.  I am soo frustrated.  My kids help out, but it isn't the same.  We have three bathrooms and our main toilet continuously runs so he turned it off.  He put a sign on the toilet telling everybody not to use it.  He bought the parts to fix it four months ago.  Needless to say; it hasn't been fixed yet.  He thinks staying at home with the kids isn't considered a job.  Apparently he hasn't listened to Dr. Phil. 

There are some differences in our stories. My husband never played softball and he realized that staying at home full time was a job. But, since he always worked (and still does) I have always done all the chores you mentioned. (except gutters-I'm afraid of heights and possible injury.) I think it may all be in the way it's percieved. I know that my husband appreciated me taking care of the kids.(They are grown) He appreciates the things I do now. If he had not realized how hard a job it is to stay home with the kids it would have bothered me back then. If he took me for granted now ,it would make me feel resentful. Maybe if your husband spent just one day in YOUR shoes he might come away with a different perspective. Hang in there!
 
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ccnizksmom
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July 10, 2007, 4:03 pm PDT

ARE YOU KIDDIN ME?

Yeah, I'm a mom, and I'm in bed for several hours a day..............because I've got MIGRAINES!!!!!!

It sure would be nice to have that nice house to clean, or that nice big yard to play outside with my kids.  I can not believe the hours that this mom is wasting away (WITH NO MEDICAL REASON)  watching her children grow, doing NOTHING!!!!   I have migraine headaches that keep me from doing housework, playing with my kids, cooking for MY husband, not to mention other things.  This woman is healthy and beautiful and hides in bed all day!  I WAS ALMOST IN TEARS AND THEN LOOKIN FOR SOMETHING TO THROW AT THE TV!!!!  What is wrong with people in this world ???     She really does not appreciate what she has.   There are people like me who are unable to do what SHE can and would love to, and for her to just be down right lazy and unappreciative.  One day when her kids are all gone, she'll wish she had spent more time with them.  WOW, its just so sad.
 
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artegrafica
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July 10, 2007, 4:07 pm PDT

Slacker husbands and moocher dads

I can certainly sympathize with this woman's husband.  My husband used to sleep 14 to 15 hrs a day.  At night he would watch tv and play games on the computer. His excuse was that he was waiting for the job he liked.  While I was doing all the chores, cleaning the house, cleaning after him, taking care of the baby, paying for rent, food, all the baby's needs and building my own graphic design studio.  This lasted for 3 months until I couldn't support all the finances. I was under a lot of stress and asked him to get a job or move out. So he moved out.

 

What is wrong with slackers and moochers!!!!!!!

how come they don't see how they hurt the spouses.
 
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blondieamos
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July 10, 2007, 4:10 pm PDT

New car?

Quote From: walter1101

 Hi, I just want to stick up for the ladies who bought a new car. I have been a finance director for a multi-franchise auto dealersip. I must say that if these ladies walked into my dealership,the first thing I would do,is tell the sales person to sit them down comfortably,while I went through inventory. I would try to find the ceapest NEW car I could find. I specialized in loans for folks with bad credit.

 Special finance lenders plan on the fact that they WILL re-posses. So if someone has bad credit,they will only approve loans on the newest,lowest milage cars. This way,when they(the bank) take it to auction ,they have a sellable asset. To approve them on a older car that is out of warranty would be a bad deal for the lender. Most people who have issues with bill paying,also have issues with oil changing etc.... Also in most bad credit cases,if the car has any mechanical problems,the buyer feels as though they shoud not have to continue payments. Therefore the lender gets back a car that does not run,and is out of warranty.

 Also,special finance lenders have strict guidelines about the percentage a car payment can be in relation to total income. Debt to income as well as payment to income are primary considerations for approval.

 Another option is the private note lot. Down payment is collected for what the car is actually worth,and the payments that the buyer makes is profit for the propriator. This type of car is usually in very unreliable or even unsafe condition.

 The truth is ,no matter what kind of car these folks were to buy,they will be up-side-down,ALOT. Mainly because of deferred equity,and high interest.

 Most lenders will loan on only $1000.00 down payment. At least in my part of the country,a car that runs ,drives and has a/c,brings much more than that at auction. It goes to a note lot where someone will pay $2500.00 down and $300.00 a month(or until it breaks down).

 It seems to me if you have a job, and money problems,then it is important to keep your job,and not loose it from having your car break down too often. 

 I do not know all the details of this particular situation, But in my expirience,for these ladies it  could very well have been NEW car  or NO car.

Just my two cents-

Katherine from Tx  

A new car is a luxury, and is NEVER an investment for the average joe. Most of us are irresponsible with money.  Granted bad stuff happens to all of us.  You can find decent used care for half the price of a new one.  I think your message was a bit of a shameless plug.  God Bless
 
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