Topic : 07/10 Slacker Wives and Moocher Moms

I also have depression but I control it, it doesn't control me.  I made a state to state move and I was without health insurance fir a while but I STILL bought my medication.

Laying in bed all day is not depression that is laziness pure and simple.

A good tip is to set your alarm for a decent houra nd then get up and take a walk around the neighborhood.  Once you are fully awake you are less likely to climb back in bed

I am stay at home mom and I don't stay in bed 18 hours of the day. But I do kinda understand where she is coming from because sometimes I feel if I just stay in bed then I don't have to go into the other rooms to see the mess that my children have made. Only because of God grace do I come out of my bedroom to start cleaning and making breakfast for the kids. But if won't for God and knowing that my husband is at work providing for his family then I proably in the same situation that this woman is in. Nobody really knows what stay at home moms have to go through unless you have walked in our shoes. It is more of a stressful job than a regular job. I can say that because I was a single mom and I have work a full time job before. The only reason now I stay at home is because it's cheaper. So not only am I a stay at home mom, but I homeschool our children too. It has been a wonderful experience for my husband and I to be able to do this and I have loved every minute that I can spend with them. I never thought that I would be the one staying at home with my children and teaching the only way I know that I can do this is because I have God by my side and my husband coaching me along being there when I need him. But without God I don't think we would be where we are today, because there is 19 yrs. old age difference between me and my husband. When you have Christ he has bigger plan for you and your life. I not saying that we are perfeact by no means, but what I am saying is that Christ is number 1 in my life and my families and without Him we would be worse than we are now.

For the lady who has trapped herself in the bed all day: Sometimes very simple actions can break a pattern of behavior. When you get out of bed in the morning, get dressed in "day-time" clothes. Make the bed. Open the curtains and blinds.

Move the tv out of the bedroom and into the kitchen. Watch tv only when you are doing something -- washing dishes, folding clothes, etc.

Pick a time to take a short walk every day. It can be only 5 minutes to begin with. Just get used to enjoying the outside and enjoying your kids' reactions to the world.

Most of all, don't the let enormity of everything that needs to be done overwhelm you. Just pick something and do that -- then move on.  Living in the moment isn't just about enjoying your world -- it's also about getting things done.

Make a list if you have to, then cut it down to what can be done. Then do what you can, When you said that you couldn't understand how others do so much, you were overestimating what most of us do everyday. But over a week you can get a lot done.

And do have yourself checked for depression! I am also an outwardly bouncy person who felt trapped and unable to do anything. My life has opened up so wonderfully since I got help with my depression and then "behaved" my way out of the drepressive behavior -- with lots of help from my wonderful husband!

I"m with ya!

They don't need therapy.  They need to get up off their behinds and do something!  I think too many people think they need therapy when they just need to get up and do something.  Jeez!  People used to solve their own problems.  Not anymore.  It is never their fault so someone else should fix it.

I read an article in our paper this morning about parents continuing to pay the cell phone and wireless internet bills for their children who have graduated from college and have jobs.  The parents think they should wean their children from being dependent.  Wean, my @%^!  Just cut them off!

I think you did the right thing for your family. Guilt is a terrible thing for one family member to put upon another. I am in my 50's and I am just recently learning to tell my mom 'no' after decades of living with the guilt trips and excuses she dumped on me. One of my brothers recently bailed our mom out from going to jail due to her financial woes. She couldn't even bring herself to thank him and she's still looking for a way to sue somebody for financial gain. My other brother bought her house out of guilt (a son should provide for his mother he says) so she could keep it. I always knew she would eventually file bankruptcy, so I stayed completely out of her financial situation all these years. However, I have definitely had to deal with her dishing out one excuse after another for other things, too - such as visiting, acknowledging our family birthdays, etc. etc. If you ask me, this is all the result of sheer laziness as well as greed and selfishness. (For all three families on the show and my own mother too.) It's had a terribly negative affect on my own family, not to mention that it kept my two brothers and I apart. What a shame, but, with Dr. Phil's advice (I'm glued to his show and books), progress is better late than never! Today, my brothers and I are finally doing some of the things brothers and sisters should do, and I do my highest sense of right regarding my mom - guilt free - regardless of what she says to me or anyone else. I just wish she would get the same wake-up call you just gave your mom!

I think the only way these moochers sleep at night and keep going with this type of behavior is by believing their own excuses (in other words it's someone or something else's fault they did what they did or else they're GONNA take care of it LATER, which of course never comes - and we're made out as the bad guy if we don't go along). Accountability is key. So is self-control. Another factor is the guilt, as mentioned on the show. This is what kept me tolerating  my mother's destructive behavior for over 3 decades. It has nearly destroyed my relationship with my own daughters because they think I am wrong and un-Christian to tell my own mother no. I'm still working on this one.

I'm going to order a copy of this show to share with my family - thanks so much for bringing this topic to Dr. Phil's attention! I will tell you that saying no and the results of doing so is getting easier and better as more time goes by in which I do the right thing by my mom, and more importantly myself, by not enabling her!

I've always tried hard to be the best person I am capable of being and especially I try not to be a burden to any other human being. If someone extends a kindness to me, I strive to repay it. I know I may not always be able to do this because, believe it or not, I became a deaf-blind person 20 years ago. So you can imagine it truly floors me for a healthy person to mooch. I keep a meticulous and beautiful home and my 7 grandchildren LOVE to come visit, so the fruits of my hard labors are well worth the effort, but mostly - I'm satisfied that I continue to do and be the best I am able to be, disabled or not!

You sure don't want to pass this legacy on to your kids someday! Start by being strong about saying no to your mom, then continue to say no to getting deeper in debt or being lazy in your own life - you will be so proud of how you feel for pulling your own weight and making your own way in the world. THAT is the American 'way'! Set your goals high (but take small steps first - big smile), run for the finish line and just keep right on going!

Thanks for being on the show! I hope you get lots of help and encouragement and I hope Dr. Phil does a show later showing us the wonderful progress your whole family makes!

OH MY GOD IS ALL I CAN SAY!!!!

 Now this women seems to be very SHELFISH!!!!!!

I have Fibromyalgia and severe IBS . Im a stay at home mom and I CLEAN HOUSE, LAUNDRY YOU NAME IT!!!!!

Yes there are times I cannot fix dinner or I'm in alot of pain for the day.

It is not fair for a working husband to come home and do ALL the work, when the other half does not have any medical conditions or disability. ITS A 50/50 in a marriage!!!!!

I did not even have to finish listening to the segment before I posted. I'm just totally shocked!!!!

I even worked and went to school with fibromyalgia and it is such a painful illness.

I don't understand some people. "

She should be thankful to be healthy,have a nice house, husband, children  and be able to do the things that she wants in life~~~

There is alot of people in this world that don't have that option~~

"Laying in bed all day is not depression that is laziness pure and simple."

Simply because you’ve made other choices does not mean that you are a better person. Judging and/or criticizing Keya isn’t going to help her or other women who are living as she is. If you know what it is like to walk in Keya’s shoes, what is your motive for passing judgment on her?