Topic : 07/11 What’s Up, Doc?

I can't believe my eyes....you're a *teacher*????? I'm appalled at your attitude regarding these children with a bona fide medical condition. How do you KNOW it didn't start out that way? Have you gotten an education on encopresis? Perhaps the reason the good doc didn't address the issue of eating and exercising is b/c it doesn't play a factor in encopresis. Making them do their own laundry, taking away privileges isn't going to miraculously "cure" them. Making them "where" (your spelling mistake, not mine) "the crap" isn't going to stop it either. You need to educate yourself on REAL, bona fide medical issues that plague some children. No wonder people try so hard to keep this hidden....it's just this bias and misunderstanding that pushes people further into the closet about things they have no control over. I'm glad you're not my child's teacher.

As a teacher with a son who has this problem and an informed person, I was shocked by your comments. First of all the problem will not go away if they wash their clothes or wear them. Been there done that. It also won't go away by taking things from them. They can not help what they do. It is a retraining process that takes much work, time and patience. As a teacher I know you know  that a child does not learn any new concept just because you tell them or make them do something. By the way as a teacher I have experienced children in my class with this problem and I go out of my way to make sure these children are not teased or made to feel like outcast. You should be ashamed as an educator. We teach all children reguardless of their problems, that what we signed up for when accepting the job. I love them all even when they are not perfect.

Shame! Shame! on You.

I honestly can't believe the OB/GYN on this show.  First off, relaxing isn't an option for many people.  INFERTILITY is a DISEASE!!!  Yes, relaxing may work for some, but for many... it's just not an option.  If your tubes are blocked from scar tissue, your husband has low motility sperm, or one of the many other factors causing a couple to become infertility, relaxing is going to do absolutely nothing in order to help conceive. 

A Reproductive Endocrinologist should have been the "Dr." consulting this couple... not an OB/GYN.  If a couple has been trying to actively conceive for a year, and it's not happening, yes, there can be a real problem, and relaxing isn't going to do it.  For Dr. Phil and this Dr. to give this advice to this infertile couple is ridiculous.  Dr. Phil is supposed to be helping people.... and this advice is terrible!!! 

I can understand that yes, this is wrecking havoc on their relationship.  But... if they are seeing a real doctor, it doesn't have to be as difficult as someone like this OB/GYN is making it.  My husband and I tried to conceive for over six years, rounds of infertilty treatments and IVF's.  It is the most difficult thing I have ever dealt with... but if you are not dealing with an educated Dr. to begin with and are given this ignorant advice... well there's some major stress right there. 

We could have done all the relaxing in the world, but there's no way it would have helped us get pregnant.  "Relaxing"... I just can't believe that.  We finally did conceive thru IVF almost four years ago.  And while yes, we felt very fortunate to have one child, we still wanted another.  That is no one's choice but our own.  We wanted a sibling for our daughter.  If that's selfish, so be it.... it's still our choice.  An yes, we wanted a biological child.  It's not that we didn't ever consider adoption... but, people... adoption is expensive too, do your homework!!!  It costs us about the same to either try IVF again or adopt.  If the IVF works, well that's faster for us to have an "addition" to our family than to try and adopt!  I understand that adoption is a choice, and there are many of children needing homes, but with adoption comes a lot of legalities and other problems you can possibly face to. 

We are currently pregnant with child #2.  This is after many years of infertility treatments, and losses.  Unless you have personally experienced infertility... you just don't have a CLUE!  And to comment in some of the insensitive ways to infertile couples that many people do is just unnecessary.  Month after month of not concieving is like grieving for a child you may never have.  I thought that one we had one child, that feeling would go away.  While I am grateful for the wonderful daughter that I do have... we both couldn't help but want for another.  It's a personal decision... no one's but your own.  I believe we have become better parents because of the problems we have had along the way.  We truly do not take our child for granted and know each and every minute that we have together is truly precious.  We are lucky! 

Please... if you don't know what you are talking about when it comes to infertiliy... just be quiet.  There's no reason to add to the stress and problems couple like us have to suffer through!

The naivety of some...astounding. My sister has a now 35yo son that had encopresis. You can only imagine the ignorance 30 years ago of this condition. They had a diagnosis for this back then, but no real help on how to get through it. And I can tell you first hand that making him do his own laundry did NOT stop the problem. Why are you referring to a medical problem as "abnormal" or "wrong"? If you had urinary incontinence due to a medical problem, would YOU be abnormal or wrong? You'd be running out for the Depends, and to the doctor for a solution. Unfortunately for those suffering from encopresis, the solutions aren't easy. It's not a "one size fits all" fix.

Where is the compassion and understanding for these parents and children???

I would like to take a minute to thank all of you parents that are dealing with the issue of encopresis.....It's nice to know there are more of us out there.  My girlfriend called me to let me know the show was on and to apoligize for not understanding what i was actually dealing with.  I have taken my kid to see a gastrologist, I've done the fiber,  asking him a million times a day "do you need to go to the potty".  It's a day to day struggle, and one might be better than the other, but when they make it  its like someone who just hit the million dollar lottery.   I also believe that it is as much a mental as a medical condition.  My son has been diagnosed with PDD, ADHD, ODD conditions that I have been told can and will contribute to this problem.  It's hard for us to really understand not realizing knowing the need to go #2.  I am thankful that I'm currently a stay-at-home mom it gives me the extra time to work on it with him and hes made it 3x's in a row now WOOOOHOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!   so  we are making progress  there is hope every child is unique in there own way and you have to find what works im just thankful that i have the chance to help him.   For a lack of a better word I am relieved to know that I'm not alone with this there are other parents out there dealing with this issue on a daily basis and it has nothing to do with bad parenting skills.   Which seems to be everyone's answer to these unique kids.  My thoughts and prays go out to all of you.

"A moment on the lips is a lifetime in the heart"