Topic : 07/11 What’s Up, Doc?

To everyone on this board, I am the father of the two boys with encopresis and it somehow does not surprise me that one of the very first comments I read on the board said that we were abusing the kids.  NOTHING and I mean NOTHING could be farther from the truth.  My wife and I have never abused the kids and we never will.  The boys have friends and are active in school and other activities such as Cub Scouts and Boy Scouts.  They are NOT RETARDED OR MAL-ADJUSTED.  As a matter of fact, they are outside right now with a yard full of the neighbor kids playing dodge ball. 

We did everything that any other parent would do trying to toilet train the kids.  We took them in 20 minutes after a meal and sat them down.  Sometimes they went sometimes not.  If they didn't go, we tried to go again 20 minutes after that.  They pee just fine.  The deuce was the problem.  They said that it was "too hard to go" so we gave them a little extra fiber in their meals or the fiber you can mix into drinks and that would soften things up but something always kept them from going in and sitting down and going.  We asked them if they were scared of the toilet and they said they weren't.  We have tried so many things it isn't funny.

The oldest went to a counselor when he was 6 and he went for the better part of two years to try and see what the problem was.   The counselor tried all different kinds of techniques to see if he could find the answer.  At the end of the two years, he told us that he couldn't find the reason why.  Doctors have tried laxatives and a variety of different therapies with little success.  He can go like he is supposed too, but if he gets too focused on what he is doing, he has the accidents.  The frustration portion of the whole matter comes in when you can tell that he is dirty and he denies that it happened.  Since the show was taped in January, he has gotten much better.  He realizes now that people are more aware of it than he thought and has been going regularly.

The youngest has basically copycatted the oldest's behavior.  He is just following the example he sees.  Since we were on the show he too has gotten somewhat better but he still has days where if he is playing, he gets into his own little world and forgets to go.

I'm the mom of a child who is as severely affected as the child described at the beginning of the show.  While her medical condition is due to a chromosome abnormality, the limitations in her life are very similar.  She is nearly seven years old and when she was three I asked her geneticist about the possibility of some sort of procedure to prevent her from maturing and going thru puberty.  While he agreed with my rationale, he said there was no court in the land that would let me do that.  So, here we are....if she lives long enough, we will be lifting, carrying, bathing, diapering and dressing an adult baby.  How is that a good scenario for anyone?  I have a horrible family history of painful endometriosis, but if she can't talk, how is  she going to be able to tell me there is a problem?  If she were to have ovarian cysts, how will we know?  What do we do when she is grown and her daddy can't take her into the bathroom to change her diaper anymore because she can't go into the men's room and he can't go into the women's room? 

I understand that there are a lot of people out there that have strong feelings against the decisions this family made, but to equate it to "cutting off my son's penis" is completely ignorant and unfair.  Walk a mile in my shoes.  I'm a firm believer that every doctor who is going to deal with children like mine should spend a week as their primary caregiver and see what life is really like when you haven't slept for two years because your child's brain won't let them sleep, or you can't go out together as a family because one of your kids will "humpty dumpty" on you.  There is no such thing as a family outing in my house and as my Chloe gets older, it will only get worse. 

Just stop and think about walking a mile in the other person's shoes before you take a hard line on one side or the other. 

Dear Dr. Phil, I don't know how many times I wrote a letter and here I am again. I'm 36 years old with 2 beautiful daughters. I have a chronic back pains. Couple years ago the Dr.s finelly decide to sent me to get MRI after visits,medications and x-rays wasn't enoughed. MRI show

that I have 3 buldging disc on L3/4/5. The pain from my lower back and all the way down to my legs was very cripling. On top of getting the news of  the x-rays of my sacliac joint shows

a degenerative arthritis was even more frustrating. I can't feel my foot and I have hard time walking. Fatigue, numbness and tingling and pain. Driving was very difficult not only I fall as

sleep but too many times I almost hit other vehicles because I can't feel if I'm pushing the gas pedals hard enoughed. And  my doctor at that time I don't feel she was supportived at all. She won't take me off work even after I told her I can't move my neck. So my Chiroprac

tor took me off work caused she knows I'm struggling. My Doctor she sent my disability papers back to me she said she won't fill them out. So I decided to change doctors which is my husbands doctor but at the same office. After 7 years of pain, medications, therapy, dr's

appointments, Neurologist, Rheumatologist, Pain management Dr., orthopaedic now referred to a surgeon and gone to see a second opinion dr. I feel like back to square one.

I am diagnosed with fibromyalgia which kind of make since as far as the muscle pains. Dr.

Phil, can a sprain muscle thats not healed and injured over and over caused this problem I have now? Cause there's not part in my muscle that doesn't hurt. And my Doctor now is so

worried about my abnormal liver test, so i go every month to get blood test hoping that it just

the medications I'm taking and it might be from a nerve in my back causing it. So I went to see the Gastroenterologist the other day so his sending me to get more blood test and get x-ray for my intestine and after that I have to make an appointment to his office to get some

kind of rectal test. Is that neccesary Dr. Phil.So what's next. This Doctor's I feel that they just

need to listen to my concerns rather than thinking I'm just whinin. Like I really want to spend

every penny I don't have to see a doctor and pay for medicine. For a couple of years I went part time so I spend 1 paycheck for medications only and the other for my car, do this doctor's think I enjoy going to they're office or what. I have not live a normal life since this

pain started Dr. Phil. I used to be able to bend backwards and pick up a toothpick and touch

ed my heel. I was very active person. I cook, clean the house, clean the pool, mow the grass,

iron, get up at 5:00 in the morning to dig weeds, care for my daughter, work fulltime, do laun

dry, rake leaves, climb trees, climb mountain, gardening everything you could think of I do.

Now I'll be darn if I can make to work and work without taking pain killers and the rest of me

dications. I feel like I lived through the medications. When my Rheumatologist prescribed me

with tylenol 3 I was am able to get up and clean a little bit, cook, laundry but nothing big. My car gets dirty who cares, right? I do. Dr. Phil should I go get the surgery even 3 doctor's already told me I probably will get releif but not better because of fibromylgia. I can't take it any more. What should I do? Please tell me. I can't affored to lose my job, I'm already losing my house, I'm not looking to lose anything else. I'm all my childrens got.