Topic : 07/11 What’s Up, Doc?

Yes, I know re looking at the woman's records. The doctor obviously did not look through them carefully. There is something definitely wrong with that poor woman. I am no doctor, but have had enough experience that it sounds like she needs to look into donor egg. I am so sorry you too are having problems (4 yrs for me too. I also have "old" eggs). I think your egg donor solution will give you a much better chance of becoming pregnant. My husband and I have gone through a 6-wk donor egg course just to help us figure out if it's for us. We decided it is and are persuing it. We are also going to informational adoption meetings just to keep our options open. I wish you and your husband the best of luck. It is a roller-coaster of a trip! Again, thanks for your reply and opening up with your experience. 

I, too, was one of the many appalled at the notion that this infertile couple just needed to "relax" to become pregnant.  This is an insulting and ridiculous suggestion.

 

My husband and I underwent three IUI and two IVF cycles, and our son resulted from the last batch of frozen embryos from the second IVF cycle.  At this point, we were emotionally, physically and financially exhausted (they pushed me hard enough with the stimulation drugs that I ended up with ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome -- NOT pleasant!), and would have been forced to give up even if it hadn't worked.  The fertility experts never did figure out the problem, but our doc wisely advised us that rather than spending months and months trying to find and fix issues, we should just jump to IVF, as we were against the clock & had no time to waste (I was 38), and that IVF would bypass most of the likely problems anyway.  I readily agreed, as I am terrified of doctors and medical procedures, and IVF seemed a lot less invasive than more hideous tests, possibly coupled with abdominal surgery.  With a compassionate doc (which we had), it was quite survivable.

 

That said, despite everything we went through, the odds were still against us -- in addition to doing everything we could, we also just got REALLY lucky -- and we know it. But there's no question -- without going into graphic medical detail -- that relaxing would NOT have done the trick -- and, given my age, would likely have wasted enough time to doom us to failure.

 

I do have to comment, though, that I remember sitting in that waiting room with couples who already had a child or two, and thinking that I'd be so grateful if we could just have ONE.  I know a biological sibling is not a possibility for our son, but I am so thankful just to have him.  An only child can have a rich and wonderful life, and I would like to tell the couple on the show that, while it is not my place to tell than how they should feel, to be sure to appreciate the beautiful daughter they have, and to know that they are still luckier than MANY -- and that they can still have a wonderful family life.  Their daughter's life experience does not have to parallel her mother's in order for her to be happy.

 

One more comment -- on the topic of constipation -- and I'm talking about the "standard" variety -- not what the couple with the two boys is dealing with -- I DID have this problem with my son once he was weaned and switched to cows' milk. It was severe enough to cause extreme pain and bleeding, and it went on for months and months (the doc prescribed Milk of Magnesia -- but who wants to depend on this on an ongoing basis?).  I found a study on line, done at an Italian university, where constipated infants were pulled off of dairy and put on soy milk for six weeks (two groups were switched from milk to soy and soy to milk in a double-blind study, as I recall).  Something like 60% improvement was cited in the soy group.  I pulled my son off of dairy and put him on rice milk -- within a week, the problem was resolved, and never returned.  While dairy intolerance is not often cited as a reason for constipation, sometimes it is the only symptom -- between the study and personal experience, I'm certainly a believer, and the "no milk" experiment certainly falls in the "can't hurt / might help" category (and YES, you have to be sure they're getting calcium, vitamin D and protein, but trust me -- they can do just fine without milk).  Just a thought for posters having this problem with their infants and toddlers!   

I am sorry u think all of us mothers and fathers abuse r children that have encopresis.... it isn't the kids fault OR the parents... but with single minded thinking like urs no wonder my son comes home crying daily... thank u for not educating urself before u post about a problem u know absolutly nothing about.... remind me to go see u if I have any problems dr. since u just know it all....

The primary cause of encopresis is unclear. A variety of explanations have been proposed - psychological, anatomical, physiological and dietary - but the most likely explanation is that the causes of encopresis are multifaceted. Most children with encopresis do not have a physical abnormality that interferes with their ability to gain bowel control. Some children may intentionally withhold for psychological reasons; they may fear using the toilet or the withholding may be due to a pattern of oppositional behavior.
In many cases encopresis occurs when there is a stressful family situation, such as divorce, birth of a sibling or a transition such as starting school. When a child actually smears feces, there is a strong indication that there may be a problem in family relationships. The child who is reluctant to openly express anger may express it by soiling. Soiling may occur in a child who has had a traumatic or frightening experience, such as sexual or physical molestation. When behavior problems occur they are usually due to the social consequences of soiling.
The physiological basis of encopresis is chronic or intermittent retention of feces, resulting in distension of the rectum and colon leading to a lack of sensitivity for the defecation reflex. The stools become large and hard, and attempted passage may result in pain and avoidance of the toilet, which make the situation worse. Rectal impaction may result, and the watery contents of the higher colon are passed around the retained stool, resulting in involuntary soiling.
Other physiological factors that may contribute to constipation include dehydration due to febrile illness, hypothyroidism, or a medication side effect. Overflow incontinence resulting from constipation can be caused by faulty nutrition, structural disease of the anus, rectum and colon, or endocrine or neurological disorders.
Sorry for the long post, but there's a lot to tell.

  Encopresis is a condition where the child has an enlarged colen.  The child becomes impacted and the "new waste" comes down around the impaction and leaks out.  It often begins around the age of 3 when the parents notice brown streakes in the childs underwear and we assume they didn't wipe good.  Many of the Pediatric Drs have no idea about Encopresis.

 

  I know about this because my 8yr old son was diagonesd last summer,  after 4 yrs of being told by his Dr that he would out-grow his problem.  This is not easy.  You need to sart by seeing a Pediatric Gastroentrologist.  You will need x-rays to see how bad the inpaction is, followed by a MRI to rule out other issues.  This will be followed by a strick "clean out".  The clean out consist of a mineral oil enema every night followed by a saline solution enema in the morning.  This needs to be repeated for 3 days before going back to the Dr for another x-ray to see how the impaction is improved.  This process can last for weeks.  At the same time the child needs to be put on a precription strength laxative.  The child MUST follow a strict bathroom schedule.  For my son we sit for 5 minutes every hour and blow up balloons.  When you blow up a balloon you relax the right muscles needed to have a BM.  This works.

 

   My son still has a lot of issues with the Encopresis.  It has been a hard road, but we have seen a light at the end of this tunnel.  As the child stays cleaned out, the colon will start to go back to the regular size and they will begin to reconize the feeling of having to go BM.  There are many set backs but Mom don' give up.  The child has no control, the nerves are so messed up in his colon he no longer has any sensation of needing to have a BM.  As crazy as it sounds I was happy to finally have a name to put with my childs problem. 

 

  My marraige almost didn't make it because my husband couldn't understand why our son could not stop messing himself.  We still dissagree on this issue.  I have lost a job I loved because I had to leave earily one too many times to pick up my son from Kindergarten because he had had an accident.  I will help my child anyway possible and i will FIGHT anyone who tells me he is just too lazy to stop playing to go to the bathroom.  I know what we are doing will work.  I know my son doesn't like it and I will continue to work with his Drs to do what is best for him.

After reading all the ignorant negative posts regarding the boys with encopresis, I realize how many of you should be a patient of Dr. Phil. 

If he had chosen younger sufferers of Encopresis, would your responses be more understanding? 

 

My 5yr old has always had Encopresis.  She really doesn't know when she has soiled her panties, which is obvious by the look of discouragement on her face (and the anger in her voice)when she goes to pee and finds poop in her panties.  Most of the time when she tells me her panties are dirty, we get to the bathroom to clean her up only to find her panties are still clean.

 

Encopresis is a very frustating disease for parents and children.  We have so many family, social, emotional and behavioral side effects to deal with, without critisism from the uneducated.  But then again, comments like those posted here are one of the causes of additional delays in treating this disease that parents get used to.  Rest assured the children never adjust to ignorant comments from others. 

would you like to foot the bill

Did I say I was one? NO.
and the erotic aspect is only one of several I mentioned.
dont try to pick a fight, you understood the post.

and 9 and 15 is old enough to experience erotic sensation.

dont get hung up on that one, as I know you want to get.

if they can hold it in public tto avoid the restrooms someone explain how that control vanishes when they get home?

 I'm so very sorry to the parents of the two boys who suffer from this disorder. The people on this board are unbelievably misinformed about it. We had a little girl who suffered from this after a particularly difficult medical exam. This occurs after something dramatic happens to them such as a divorce, a move, etc. If not caught early, I can completely see how it can last "forever." I'm heartbroken for you two parents who had to read about the "abuse" responses before. It truly is only when you've been through it that you can truly understand the desperation and the isolation of this time. You feel embarressed to ask a dr or talk to friends so you never get any info or relief. Let me tell you right now that once I opened up about it, I found I've helped at least 25 people here and there know that at the very least there is a "name" for THIS and that there IS a light at the end of the tunnel. Truly, truly, truly, the dr is completely correct in her advice on just clean them out, keep them cleaned out, and don't talk about it to the child any more! Don't make an issue of it anymore. Give them the Miralax (which is now available over the counter) in their morning juice or milk w/o telling them if you have to. Just keep it coming regularly and don't miss a day. Once they feel the hardness even once, you are back to square one. (NOT OVER, you just have to start over!) Just don't make it an issue anymore. I know you don't care about what they are feeling or any touchy feely stuff at this point, you just want the d*** crap to go away! But with all my heart, please give the kids a chance and please know it is not a control thing on their part. That was a HUGE reason I didn't seek help earlier because everyone kept telling me that. This only made me angrier at my poor little sweet innocent daughter who was silently suffering on her own with her own embarrassment. Oh the years I wish I could give back to her if I had only known. Please hang in there. Please know you will get through it. Please, please, please know that they will get better. Again, I'm so very sorry for all the notes before. Such a sad and desperate time for you and your boys.

I think we're looking past the fact that this is a medical disorder and has nothing to do with bad parenting or immature children.  I TOTALLY applaud these parents for the bravery they showed by going forward with this problem.   My child has had this problem - albeit not for 13 years - but it is very, very difficult to get help because you are immediately branded a horrible parent, even if you have nothing but the utmost love and concern for your child.  I have also talked with other parents - terrific parents - who experienced this with their own children, and have watched the fear come over their children who cannot help the fact that their own bodies just don't recognize signals the way it should, and they too have been stigmatized by their own so-called friends and families.  Keep an open mind.  It has nothing to do with your two year old being smarter, you're just lucky your child did not have to experience this heart-wrenching disorder.