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Topic : 07/13 Prison Moms

Number of Replies: 111
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Created on : Thursday, July 05, 2007, 02:42:13 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Imagine if the woman who was supposed to love and protect you wasn’t there to tuck you in at night, put a bandage on your knee, or help you with your homework. Imagine if instead she were living a life behind bars. Dr. Phil introduces six beautiful children whose lives were torn apart when their mom, Angela, was sent to prison not once, but twice. Three of the six children have not seen their mother since she went to prison, and the youngest was born while Angela was behind bars. Now, Dr. Phil sits down with 15-year-old Brianna, 8-year-old Arianna and 6-year-old Makayla who live with their aunt. Learn what their lives are like with a mom serving time. Then, Dr. Phil talks face to face with Angela, who began serving an eight-year sentence over two years ago – her second time in jail. Dr. Phil has some tough questions for her you won't want to miss. Plus, the siblings were split apart two years ago when their mom went back to prison. Share in the tears and laughter as Dr. Phil reunites them with their incarcerated mother, and talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

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July 11, 2007, 9:45 am CDT

Experience, not the media

Quote From: jennifer120302

 You say women often choose men and crime over thier children , I am a mother of 2 kids  and I dont agree with what u are saying. The only reason why you can say this is because all we hear in the media is the bad , you don't here about us great moms (who are the majority) and what we do right. Also you don't have to be in a relationship to have a child.There are millions of single moms out there and alot of them will say they prefer to be a single parent.As for the comment" It's time we stop being victims..." You write this as though all women are victims and that is so far from the truth but there aren't just women who are victims men are aswell.Through all this though people allow themselves to be victims and yes it does effect their children but as long as the children are in a stable home they will be okay.Some people men and women are in the  " right situation " to have kids at that time of conception but life can change within seconds to make  the circumstances different. 

Sorry, my opinion has nothing to do with the media. As a felony parole officer, I saw MANY women choosing men and/or drugs OVER their children. It sadly happens often. When people are addicted to drugs, they do horrible things to continue their habits. It is VERY sad. I had caseloads of 75-100 adults MONTHLY and many of those people I saw for long periods of time (years). You get to know people quite well when you see them (and their families) regularly and report to their homes unannounced.

 

And even more frustrating is when women think they NEED men. I have seen young, pretty women neglect their children and/or harm their children because of a guy. Yes, it's in the media often and perhaps you should consider all the times it goes UNREPORTED (like when a child is neglected, but it isn't ever reported). Go to any welfare office on a Friday (the first Friday of the month, normally) and see all the young women getting their checks as loser guys (unemployed, sometimes in gangs, babies by numerous women outside of marriage, etc) just WAITING for those checks. Often, it's the loser GUY who gets the money, not the children the money is intented for....

 

You may not agree with me, but I have some experience in this field.

 

And, yes, many people CHOOSE to be victims. Some choose to out of ignorance, but others choose to out of selfishness, irresponsiblity, immaturity, insecurity and other such bad stuff.... They MAKE themselves victims and only they can change their circumstances.

 

 

 
July 11, 2007, 9:58 am CDT

Society is not slow...it's too fast

Quote From: pamtedd

Society is slow to promote individual independence for a woman unless she is married.  I think that one reason women are such enablers and risk prison is that they beleive they should have a husband first. I am single, live alone (Not Gay) and many aspects of society are unaccepting and while not being cruel are not welcoming...It just a thought.

 Society SHOULD want women happily married and then having children for the sake of both the kids and what's shown (over centuries) to be best for society. Does that always happen? Of course not. There are always exceptions.

 

Women are "enablers" because they choose to be. Nobody puts a gun to anyone's head and makes them enable someone (or enable themself). Men can be enablers too.

 

Yes, God wants you to have a husband first because it's the moral thing to do...and, if he's decent, he's great for both the woman and the kids. All the stats show that a happy 2-parent home is best for kids. We keep lying to ourselves in this country to JUSTIFY our selfishness when it comes to what children need and deserve (but what we choose not to give them).

 

I have many wonderful friends who have ended up single mothers (due to divorce); they are great mothers, but even they will admit it is tough to be both a mother and a father to a child...to have quality time when the one parent has to work fulltime, to discipline well (especially with one parent and more than one child in the home), etc. I congratulate all those single mothers who raise great children. Sadly, too many single parent children have trouble with behavior, needing attention, trusting, getting and maintaining healthy permanent relationships, respecting authority, etc.

 

Nobody should be cruel to you. But nobody should lie to you either, even if you don't like to hear what they have to say. It is SELFISH to try to bring a child into the world without the benefit of a husband/father. It is NOT in the best interest of the child. Adoption is a wonderful option when the unexpected happens. It's always the least selfish of the choices.

 

And, again, single mothers who didn't choose their lot in life AND WHO RAISE WONDERFUL KIDS should be applauded. Hopefully their children will appreciate all that they've done for them.

 

Sorry, if I am not PC. I used to be and it was a lie. The facts on 2-parent happy homes vs 1-parent divorced/single homes are evident from every study out there. Thanksfully there are exceptions, but that doesn't change things.

 

By the way, many single women wth children are NOT independent. Anyone getting money from the govt is NOT independent. We are ALL helping to raise that precious child and that does NOT make the woman "independent."

 

I am a happily married (for almost 19 years) "independent" mother of two  (college-educated, but I choose to be a fulltime mom). I speak my mind, make as many decisions as my spouse and I have my own savings and investments, as does my husband (plus we have joint savings/investments). Sadly, few are truly "independent" in this world. They talk the talk but don't walk the walk.

 
July 11, 2007, 2:38 pm CDT

07/13 Prison Moms

Quote From: flthomcat

Sorry, my opinion has nothing to do with the media. As a felony parole officer, I saw MANY women choosing men and/or drugs OVER their children. It sadly happens often. When people are addicted to drugs, they do horrible things to continue their habits. It is VERY sad. I had caseloads of 75-100 adults MONTHLY and many of those people I saw for long periods of time (years). You get to know people quite well when you see them (and their families) regularly and report to their homes unannounced.

 

And even more frustrating is when women think they NEED men. I have seen young, pretty women neglect their children and/or harm their children because of a guy. Yes, it's in the media often and perhaps you should consider all the times it goes UNREPORTED (like when a child is neglected, but it isn't ever reported). Go to any welfare office on a Friday (the first Friday of the month, normally) and see all the young women getting their checks as loser guys (unemployed, sometimes in gangs, babies by numerous women outside of marriage, etc) just WAITING for those checks. Often, it's the loser GUY who gets the money, not the children the money is intented for....

 

You may not agree with me, but I have some experience in this field.

 

And, yes, many people CHOOSE to be victims. Some choose to out of ignorance, but others choose to out of selfishness, irresponsiblity, immaturity, insecurity and other such bad stuff.... They MAKE themselves victims and only they can change their circumstances.

 

 

I see where you are comming from BUT there are many more women who choose to be great moms and not choose drugs and men over their children.In your line of work you probably don't get to see as many great moms out there as you do deadbeat moms who make the wrong choices
 
July 11, 2007, 10:44 pm CDT

Time Holds steel for noone

Quote From: jennifer120302

I see where you are comming from BUT there are many more women who choose to be great moms and not choose drugs and men over their children.In your line of work you probably don't get to see as many great moms out there as you do deadbeat moms who make the wrong choices
   I being a mother who had made some bad choices, would like to say Time Stands Steel 4 Noone. And if you learn from one bad choice good for U. But if you keep on the bad choice path than for get it sighn your children over. For gods sake let them have a chance at makeing a life 4 them selfs. Be thankfull if a familey member steps in and wants to take them in. at least than they are steel close and at a right age can make the choice of rather or not to call you mother. Allthough., I was a mother who was in trouble with the law I did"nt do near 6 years in prison, but the probation, the rehabs and probation violations, took up 2 7 years and as long as I was in the "System" I could not bring my girls to live with me.. Time flew and befor I knew it They were both Mothers of their own. And I blame no one but myself 4 time lost with them. And now I not only punesh myself but am being puneshed by the state by makeing me pay back child suport. So here 20 years after my crime, and wanting to make a good life 4 myself  4 my grandchildren can't even do that ,40,000,oo is an damened lot to pay back.  I can't even begin to tell u how that choice I made a 20 some years ago has dstroyed my world to  no means of macking a comeback of any kind
 
July 12, 2007, 9:56 am CDT

Great moms out there....YES!!!

Quote From: jennifer120302

I see where you are comming from BUT there are many more women who choose to be great moms and not choose drugs and men over their children.In your line of work you probably don't get to see as many great moms out there as you do deadbeat moms who make the wrong choices

Of course there are MANY MORE GREAT MOMS OUT there. Society would be in big trouble, if that were not the case!!!

 

I am 44 and have been a high school teacher (9 yrs) and a parole officer (3 yrs). I am also a community volunteer. I have been BLESSED to meet many wonderful mothers along the way....married, divorced, single, unwed, etc.

 

God bless all those women who do their very best for their children. But never forget that many women (like men) make horrible choices in their lives for different reasons...for drugs, to be with a man, to keep a man, to have money or other possessions, etc. Nobody MAKES them make these choices so they need to accept responsibility (if they ever want to move forward and improve their lots in life).

 
July 12, 2007, 11:24 am CDT

No Clue

"Concerned"  wasn't a choice for mood. Until something like this hits your family directly it remains a topic for most to feel superior and others and opportunity to judge!
 
July 12, 2007, 8:00 pm CDT

ANOTHER GENERATION

Quote From: flthomcat

Sounds like a great show.

 

Hopefully what will not be lost is the fact that we individuals make CHOICES and need to be responsible for those choices. Women often choose MEN (and crime) over their children. And WHY would a mature, responsible "mother" continue to bring children into the world when she's not in a happy, healthy, committed relationship???

 

It's time we stop being VICTIMS and take control of our own lives, putting our children's NEEDS first and foremost. We owe it to ourselves and to them (and to GOD) to right ourselves and lead good, decent lives.

 

God bless the women on the show; may they change their bad behaviors for good and may their children learn from their many mistakes.

I believe it is a woman's #1 job upon first carrying their child to provide a safe healthy nuturing enviornment. Parent's OFTEN FORGET that at the end of it all, being that of loss of their friend's over time and  family members stop talking to you or your the NEW family gossip topic, you alway's have your child/ children. when all is lost or gone, it is our very children who will ALWAYS be there. If we teach our children to get back up when we fall down or when they feel they can't stand up you'll be right there to stand up with them or for them. When you make a mistake and you admit that you goofed up. You talk to them tell them in a way they understand how you made wrong choices or mistakes and teach them how we also LEARN FROM IT. Children model our behaviors. Someday it will be our very children who will bring it to our ATTENTION how we as parent's RAISED them or didn't. Men and Women come and go as do family It should be our hope that it is our own children we were gifted with that matter who will stay unconditionally in our life. I feel if we ALWAY'S take into account ANY choices or decision's we make that is CRIMINAL or ABUSIVE in any way we should think of THE CHILDREN to re- direct us because THEY will be in the end the ONLY ones who will REALLY TRULY LOVE US and that is what should matter. I would think that PARENT'S would FEAR showing or raising their children with a life of CRIME and ABUSE.  This is where our ELDERLY ABUSE stems from.

 
July 13, 2007, 12:54 am CDT

Why Is Dr. Phil always promoting his books?

I really enjoy the Dr. Phil show.

 

In all of his encounters with guests, Dr. Phil has never said anything that I disagree with. In fact, pretty much everything he says and does seems right, except for this one nagging problem:

 

He's always pushing his own books.

 

Why does he do this? His whole attitude seems to be "helping people" - offering expensive rehab, counseling, lawyers, experts in various fields- all at no expense to the guests.

 

So why doesn't he provide this same charity to everyone by making his books available online, for free? The seem to have a massive series of books, tapes, and CDs, - a self-help empire!

 

If they have advice that can make people's lives better, why not just share it?

 

I love the show and will continue to watch! Keep up the good work, Phil! 

 

 

 
July 13, 2007, 7:01 am CDT

13 CHILDREN DIE ON THE STREETS OF AMERICA EVERY DAY

In America there is a common misconception that children runaway from home because they are societal delinquents who want to be free of authority. The media depicts homeless and street kids as "rebels without a cause", as children who have no regard for society, who have no dreams and no aspirations for life but to get high.  

 

We know this portrayal of homeless and street kids to be false. In fact we know that 90% of children who run away have encountered mental, physical, emotional, and/ or sexual abuse. No child wants to live on the streets. No child wants to have to beg, steal, sell drugs, and/ or themselves just to survive.

 

More than half of the children on the streets are still under the age of 15.  Unable to legally work, these kids get involved in criminal activity just to survive.  Based on current estimates, there are more than one and a half million children, teenagers and young adults trying to survive on the U.S. streets today.  Children now make up 27 percent of the fastest growing segment of the U.S. homeless population.

 

For more info:  www.turnpurple.org 

 

The Turn Purple Campaign is the nations' first campaign against child abuse and the resulting problem of youth homelessness. 

 

 

 

DON'T RUNAWAY - TELL SOMEONE YOU CAN TRUST

 

 

Though harder to spot, emotional abuse is easier to deny.  But just as physical and sexual abuse have signposts to mark their presence, emotional abuse, being a systematic attack on one's sense of self, has common traits.  Just as physical and sexual abuse come in degrees of severity, emotional abuse runs the gamut of intensity and damage.

 

Anyone who had the misfortune of being raised by a parent who is or was cruel, vicious, vindictive, calculating, manipulative, a liar, a cheat, selfish or neglectful may benefit from reading some of my favorite books: 

 

 

Why is it Always About You?  The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism by Sandy Hotchkiss AND Emotional Blackmail:  When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation and Guilt to Manipulate You by Susan Forward 

 

Get Me Out of Here:  My Recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder by Rachel Reiland OR Girl Interrupted by Susanna Kaysen OR The Angry Heart:  Overcoming Borderline and Addictive Disorders by Joseph Santoro and Ronald Cohen

 

Understanding the Borderline (Parent) Mother Helping Her Children Transcend the Intense, Unpredictable and Volatile Relationship by Christine Ann Lawson

 

Stop Walking on Eggshells by Paul Mason and Randi Kreger OR Surviving a Borderline Parent:  How to Heal Your Childhood Wounds & Build Trust, Boundaries and Self-Esteem by Kimberlee Roth and Freda Friedman  

 

Healing Anxiety and Depression (7 types of anxiety and depression) by Daniel Amen and Lisa Routh OR Getting Help:  The Complete and Authoritative Guide to Self-Assessment and Treatment of Mental Health Problems by Jeffrey Wood

 

How to Journal for Therapy:

http://arar.essortment.com/therapyjournali_repu.htm

 

 

If you tell your problem to someone that you can trust and still feel unhappy, unsafe, or uncomfortable, or if you don't trust anyone that you know, then you SHOULD CALL these numbers until you speak with someone you can trust:

 

National Runaway Switchboard  1-800-RUNAWAY or 1-800-621-4000

Covenant House Nine Line 1-800-999-9999

Child HELP USA 1-800-4ACHILD

Stand Up for Kids 1-800-365-4KID

Volunteers of America  www.voa.org

 

 

If you are unhappy or uncomfortable with something in your life it is up to you to change your situation and tell someone that you can trust. 

 

 

Hope it helps!

 

 
July 13, 2007, 8:10 am CDT

07/13 Prison Moms

 Today's show has really hit close to home for me.  Me and my brother have been involved in similiar situations for half of our childhood. My dad was an alcoholic who just wouldn't accept the fact that he needed help. He has been arrested several times for driving under the influence, causing him to serve periods of time in jail. The last time he was in jail was like the last straw for me. I felt the same way about my father as Jasmine does about her mother. My father promised me and my brother several times that he would change but never did. So I can understand why Jasmine is so reluctant to accepting the words that her mother is telling her. But if Angela is truly sincere, there will be some kind of indication that her words are true.
 
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