I am grateful to find this message board...part of the difficulty with chronic pain is that it can make you feel lonely and isolated. I've had pain and fatigue for a long time, but about four years ago I had massive blood clots in my left leg which required venoplasty and a stent. The pain has been unrelenting and the fatigue overwhelming since then. After being referred to internists, radiologists, pain specialists...I've found an excellent nurse practioner who is very helpful simply because she listens and believes me. 
 
I have learned a couple of things about the pain. The first is that I spent most of my life working hard, denying myself, meeting other peoples' expectations and not dealing with emotional pain. That has taken a physical toll, in that I simply do not have reserves left to deal with any extra stress. Managing stress has become very important to managing my life. 
 
The second is that nobody is the same, and different things work for different people. I've tried narcotics, neurontin, lidoderm and a bunch of other stuff. None of them help much. Tylenol helps a little, and ibuprofen helps a little more. I'm not supposed to take ibuprofen because I'm taking blood thinners, but on a bad day I take it anyway. Heat helps. Warm baths help. Mild exercise helps the pain but makes the fatigue worse. I also have chronic depression, and if I start getting depressed the pain is harder to deal with. Life has become a matter of balance. Of doing everything I can to take good care of myself without overdoing and pushing myself like I used to do. 
 
I'm also learning to go with the flow. On a bad pain day, I stay home and rest. On a bad fatigue day, I take a nap. On good days, I do more. That means being flexible because I don't know until I get going how the day will be. 
 
The most important thing I've learned is the importance of good friends and depending on God. It is true, most people don't want to hear how I am really feeling on any given day. God doesn't mind, though. Prayer and being involved with other people are what get me through a lot of days.  
 
I have one good friend that I pray with every day. We have committed to be absolutely truthful with each other, and we tell each other every day how we are doing physically, emotionally, relationally and spiritually. She is the one person that I tell honestly every day exactly how I am feeling. I tell my husband in more general terms--I'm having a good day or a bad day. My closest friends know I have bad days and understand if I cancel an appointment with them, but I don't tell them how I'm feeling. 
 
I do not like living with pain, fatigue and depression, but it is what it is. I have friends who live with alcoholic or abusive spouses, friends who have kids they are worried to death about, and friends who have had husbands or children die. I'm trying not to let my particular cross overwhelm me and to do my best to live well with it. 
 
My heart goes out to all of us who struggle with this. Everybody's circumstance is different, and it is harder for some than others...I can't even imagine how I would handle it if I had little kids to care for. You are all courageous and stronger than you realize...weaker people collapse under the pain you deal with every day. My hat is off to you.