I read through your list and is does sound like a logical and effective plan of attack, so to speak. But, as I said in the first post, I think, there is a lot more to just what I wrote down here. A lot of what I was referring to was doing things similar to the list you wrote. I'm sure well thought out plans like that can do some good, but sometimes not. I compare it to sitting and making a list of my medical bills, prescriptions and regular bills. On paper, a decent plan can be formulated that actually might make things stretch, but again, things on paper sometimes doesn't match reality. I've gone the route of going through proper channels, making the right people aware of mistreatment and such. Frankly, here's what I got out of it: "It's not my problem nor fight", "Sorry to hear about all that", "I can't imagine the military or VA doing that", "I understand what you're going throughm but there's nothing I can do to help", etc... and that's the good stuff. When I was told by a Naval Dr (when I was in the Marines) in 1983 that I needed a surgery because the problem would only get worse without it, then told me I couldn't have the surgery. Following the chain of command all the way up to my Colonel and on the Colonels advice, I wrote my congressman. I got the surgery in 1985, I also got my promotion to Corporal held for a year to the date, and my next promotion to Sgt. held for 2 1/2 years, finding out later my record had been tagged "PI" (political influence). I wrote my Congressman about my Social Security hearing in August 2004, He initiated a "Congressional Inquiry" which teh judge read to me at the hearing, the "Inquiry" was merely, Please let me know the outcome of the hearing. Of course the judge gave me several dirty looks everytime he reminded me during the hearing about my asking for my congressmans help, stating he would be sure to let the congressman know the outcome. After I received the denial letter from the judge, that was filled with inaccuracies and mis-quotes used to deny me, I received a letter from the Congressmans office saying, I was glad to help and let me know if there is anything else I can do for you. But when I called, I was told all he could do is what he did...this "Inquiry"
Basically, I see the military and VA as seemingly untouchable, not to mention they are in a "CYA" mode (covering their behinds). I have been fighting for my health since 1983 when I was just 20 years old and frankly, I can't handle anymore of the solutions and consequences that comes with it. I can't walk myself to the bathroom most of the time let alone walk in their offices. The picture I painted in my first post is very mild compaired to the rest of the story, I just didn't want to nor do I think I can even come close to explaining everything that has heppened with me physically, emotionally, medically, professionally........I know it's never too late to fight but again, that is on paper, not reality sometimes. Besides, I will probable be better off learning to accept what they have done to me and accept who and what I am today and accept whatever else comes along with it.
I don't mean to devalue what you wrote, just that it hasn't worked for me and I physically and emotionally can't afford the results of fighting.
I was just thinking, I'm sure glad my wife doesn't know I wrote all of this here. She would really get on to me for the way I feel on some of these things, but she isn't in my head or body feeling what I do and it wouldn't be fair to her to know how I feel on some things. She loves me but has had about as much stress in this as she can handle too... and doesn't need anymore to worry about, it would just tear her up and I couldn't bare to see that happen to her or my kids.
The more I try to explain here the more I see it coming out the wrong way, almost sounds like I'm whining, but trust me, I'm not. This will probably come out the wrong way but I have fought for a lot of years and my body/health has paid the price for it, so has my family. My body and mind has nothing left to pay the piper with. I won't be saying anything more about this on the message board. I appreciate your comments and time.
