dear dianah and becky,
ahhhh! bless hank's bones. i am ashamed to say that i hid in the bathroom until i heard the sound of the coffee grinder and the cats being fed. i hurt so bad that getting to the bathroom felt like a tremendous accomplishment. so, after i was sure he had done all the morning "duties," i emerged, trying to come up with an excuse to avoid the gym. and the first thing he said -- after "good morning" -- was "i hope you don't mind but i think i'll skip the gym -- i am pretty sore... i guess i will do the grocery shopping." god bless the man.
i pretended to be disappointed! still, i made it 6 out of the last 8 days -- and i am proud of myself. yesterday was idiotic -- crying while working out -- what was i trying to prove? what these very high levels of pain are pounding into me, is the certaintly that i need a pain pump. i am wearing 2 fentanyl patches at a time (one "old," one "new" -- changed every 48 hours) and maxing out the breakthrough medication and ibuprofen. this is just ridiculous. it will take me a long time to get the pump, and i may fail -- i've been told that bcbs is notorious for refusing to cover them -- but clearly, something has to give.
becky, i am familiar with cardiac meds that have scary side effects. i have runs of paroxysmal supraventricular tachycardia -- just gives me a strange, weak feeling, but when i am on a monitor, it sure makes the nurses break into a run! i was put on several meds -- finally, something called "rythmol." oy! talk about a medicine causing more trouble than it was worth... in the end, i stopped all medication -- i kept passing out. my blood pressure is naturally very low, but in combination with most antiarrythmia drugs, it bottoms out.
lordy -- the first symptom can be sudden death. that's very scary. thank goodness for the genetic testing you were able to have -- so that you can be on top of it. good for you. i'll think good thoughts for the boys.
the reason i thought of hashimoto's was because it is auto-immune and sometimes goes hand-in-hand with fibromyalgia. but that would mean hypothyroidism, and you are hyper... i didn't know that you could have the same symptoms. what a tricky gland.
miss dianah, what can i tell you about dobby lad? he's my little idiot, lives in his own world -- he hasn't picked up some of the more common cat behaviors. for instance, he doesn't at all mind staring at you, with you staring back. most cats treat that as a sign of aggression, and will quickly look away. not the dobbster! he will stare at you, then initiate a long-winded, one-sided conversation. he has so much to say. he continues to drop his most important things into the water bowl -- yesterday, hank had an electronic part delivered, set it on the floor by his office chair, only to find it gone a few minutes later... he was so pissed! we looked everywhere, and finally found it -- you guessed it -- floating in the water bowl! it was in a tiny plastic bag, thank goodness. hank fussed at dobby, dobby just stared back...
lashawnna has had so much sadness in her life -- it seems to follow her. she deserves a break, just a period of normalcy would probably be appreciated. i wonder how the children are doing, and her pregnant daughter. when is she due, do you remember? (you are the repository of all knowledge!)
speaking of canes... i bought a new one over the holidays! there is nothing special about it, except that it is cute (as cute as a cane can be). it has a design of blue and purple flowers and buds! a feminine cane -- for those times when a plain cane just won't do. (ar!)
i'm sorry you're having trouble sleeping -- that's the pits... for the past week or so, i have been awake between 5 and 8:30 every morning. we go to bed around 3 or 4, so that means i have developed a bad habit of not getting up until noon. i hope you're right and that you were just missing hubby last night... and i will try and get to bed at a reasonable hour.
howard, tw (tumbleweed), seems to be an amazing individual -- though i may be prejudiced. there is some potential drama brewing between myself and my other brother -- he may have known where and how howard is, and not told me. when i was on the phone with him wednesday night, i kept asking him if he had something to say to me (i had sent him a very clear, explicit email) -- and he kept saying, "no." i had written that i had howard's address and info, and would give it to him if -- and only if -- he wanted. according to a new found "cousin," he had been given howard's info two or three years ago. i have tried to bury the significance of that... but without success. so i asked him straight out... and he cannot or will not answer. why do people do such things? i will love and adore him forever, trusting that he thought he was doing "what was best" for his "little" sister -- but...
too much drama.
have you decided whether you're going to have surgery on your hand/arm?
i'm hungry... gonna go open a can of lentil soup... be well, youse guys!
love.
prof
