Topic : Living with Chronic Pain

I have three boys...and I grew up with 7 older brothers...so bugs, spiders, and snakes are fascinating to me...I just don't like the ones that bite...my boys like to over-turn the rocks in our yard and find the pill bugs, ants, centipedes, and whatever else they find.  Once, one of our boys kept a fuzzy black spider as a pet...this particular spider has a pretty nasty bite...we bought him crickets to eat...he was part of an "eco-system" science project...he lived for quite some time...usually, we squish the black fuzzy ones...they hang out by the front door, and like to get inside...the dog ate one of them once, and his face swelled up huge...had to take him to the vet!!  The spider must have bitten his mouth before being eaten...

Slimy worms are pretty neat...especially the night crawlers...we find them while gardening...slugs are OK, as long as they are not eating the flowers...In the woods, there are some pretty big slugs...pretty interesting to watch...and when we went to Oregon, we saw banana slugs...big yellow ones...and we love frogs and toads...and lizards, newts, salamanders...etc...we can find them all around here...and we have some resident garter snakes living outside in our garden...they hang out by our fish ponds...

Garden spiders are pretty cool, as long as they don't get on me...mosquitos, ticks, and biting flies...I don't have much use for them...I guess they keep the birds fed...there are birds around here that fly low at dusk, catching and eating the bugs in the air...so glad for bug repellant!!

As for the fatigue that you mentioned...ask your doc about seeing a sleep specialist for a sleep study...sleep disorders are very common with fibromyalgia, and poor sleep causes more pain....I said this already in my previous post...there are many factors that go into relief of fatigue (some I haven't found yet!!)...I use a CPAP machine for sleep apnea, and I take Provigil for Narcolepsy...and I take Temazepam, so I can sleep at night...not only does lack of sleep, or poor sleep affect fibromyalgia, and other pain conditions, it also affects my bipolar disorder...in a bad way...

Since seeing the sleep specialist and getting the correct diagnosis for my sleep problems, and getting treatment, things have improved drastically.  I used to spend more than half the day sleeping...I just could NOT wake up...could not get moving...and I HAD to do that if I wanted to drive anywhere without falling asleep at the wheel...definitely NO long driving trips!!  (not with me driving)...I couldn't plan anything for the morning...all appointments and shopping had to be done in the afternoon...the Provigil and CPAP machine are the best things that ever happened for my fatigue (that and my husband's CPAP!)

Besides a sleep evaluation, there are some things that you can do to help you sleep...they call it "sleep hygiene"...

Go to bed at the same time every night, and get out of bed at the same time every morning...even on weekends...(it's true...when I sleep in, I am just MORE tired)...an erratic sleep schedule really messes up your body clock, and makes it harder to sleep, and harder to get up, harder to have any energy during the day...

I know that being a student, you are probably putting in a lot of late nights studying...what times do you go to school?  If you don't have to be there terribly early in the morning, it might be better to go to bed at a reasonable time, and do your homework in the morning...that's what our oldest son started doing...he is feeling much better for that...

NO TV in bed...when you go to bed, there shouldn't be any distractions...

Get ear plugs if your spouse snores too much (and ask him to get a sleep study too!...my husband has sleep apnea, with wall-shaking snoring, and his CPAP was the best thing that ever happened to me!!)...

If you have anything in your bedroom that emits light, cover it up, or get one of those sleep blindfolds.  Any amount of light, no matter how small, will penetrate your eyelids and make your body think that it should be awake.  If you have light outside your window, get better blinds or curtains that keep the light out.  Even that digital alarm clock puts out enough light to keep you awake...

If you take a sleep medication, be sure to go to bed ontime...if the sleep med is taken less than 8 hours before you have to get up, you'll have a harder time getting out of bed...been there, done that...

If you don't want a prescription sleep med, try Benadryl...that's what the sleep specialist has recommended for our kids...and it works!!  The chemical in Benadryl (diphenhydramine) is the same one that is in Unisom, and Tylenol PM...

If you take a daytime nap, limit it to 20 minutes...set an alarm...and don't take any evening naps...actually, the doc says that a power nap after lunch is a good thing...

Be sure to treat your pain before trying to sleep...I absoutly CAN'T sleep when I have a migraine headache, or severe back or muscle pain...I take Excedrin for the migraines, and I take Flexoril along with Excedrin for the severe muscle and back pain...and neck pain...Tylenol alone doesn't do it for me...it seems that the combination of the Tylenol and Aspirin that is in Excedrin is a better match for me.

NO caffeine after 3:00 in the afternoon...it's amazing how much caffeine will affect sleep...although, there is caffeine in Excedrin...but apparently not enough to override the Temazepam...

Don't drink alcohol...period...

Don't drink large amounts of any beverage too close to bedtime...you don't want to have to get up in the middle of the night...

If you are unable to sleep, keep your clock covered up...you don't need the added stress of watching the minutes and hours tick by...my sleep doc says that you are probably getting more sleep than you think you are...

If you are unable to sleep, don't get up and watch TV or get on the computer...those things will actually keep you awake...or you will fall on the floor when you fall alseep in your computer chair...LOL  The light emitted from the TV or computer screen will make your body think it should be awake...

This advice came from my sleep specialist...and I try to follow it as much as I can...when I violate the sleep rules, I pay for it...big time!!

On to another subject...I LOVE to sing...mostly Christian songs...and I love to write Christian songs...I sing on our church's worship team, and I love to sing and play my guitar at home...I also play the trumpet...it is very good for my asthma to keep my lungs in shape...plus, I love to paint...I paint portraits of animals on rocks...my next project is my brother's cat...they are housing our oldest son while he is in culinary school...a huge burden off our minds...and we want to give them a thank you gift...there is nothing that we could give them that would express just how grateful we are...but a token that I hope they will like...

I HATE housework...and gardening seems to never end...I hate weeding because the weeds just keep coming back (kind of like laundry and housework)...

Well...I've really been a board hog today...gotta go...the kids are bickering again...

Everybody be well today...Becky

Oh Sims...

I can not tell you how "happy" I am to see YOU!

I know there are times it's hard to post, but you need to at least just say hi and I'm okay.. Just let us know you are around.. I get way worried when we  don't "see you".......

Too funny about last night, both of us on.. I did not see you.. sniff sniff sniff......

Woke up this morning late and my first thoughts were of Prof.. So hope that surgery went good and her way.. Also that she had no major problems... HOPE HOPE HOPE..... This infection has gone on way too long.. So, let's hope she's on some really good pain meds today and she just SLEEPS..............................

Sims, it sounds to me, like you are on the up-side of this major grieve you have been dealing with. I mean it.. You sound like you are over this major hump and that you are really ready for the next chapter in your life...

I am so very proud of YOU.. "yes, you are ready to enter though that next door"..

And I think this "down time" you have had, has only made you stronger in many ways.

Please tell me the name of this book by Dr Frits Winter... I would love to read this.....

To be honest with you, there are many times I wish I could "cry".. I think my antidepressants keep me from being able to just "break down and cut loose"...

It takes a lot for me to cry.. And it's usually when someone else is crying in-front of me, that makes me cry...

I know, it's crazy.....

But I think it's so health to be able to just let it out... And I'm not able to do this.... And I wish I could.....

I heard from Lashy again yesterday. She is home and she is resting a lot. She said she gets the kids up and ready for school and then after they are gone, she back in bed until they get home...

She said she is so ready to get back up and going, but right now, no energy...

But, she's Home and there is not better place to be than your own bed..

She wanted me to tell everyone HI and she will post soon.....

Sims.. has your Son started back to school yet?? Our kids here just started today...  How about Daughter?? Has school started for her yet????

My Hubby is just coming off of 4 night shifts. So today is the hard day.. he will only sleep around 3 hours and then up and I bet he's back in bed by 7 or 8 tonight....

Our yard needs mowed bad.. but we have high winds today.. So.. will see what the afternoon brings.

I really need to work on the house some today.. Yikes... ha ha ha.........

I just had breakfast with you.. Had fat fee vanilla yogurt and took my meds....

Sims.. if you need to "talk".. here's my e-mail address.... dharden@collinscom.net

You know me.. I can yak with the best of them... ha ha ha.....

I am so glad to See You and I am so so PROUD OF YOU ALSO.....

Sending you All my Love and HUGS..... Love Dianah

Ha, boy oh boy.. I'm all yak today.. started in the morning and here it is, now 12:30 P.M......

Oh well.. the wind is blowing and can't do anything outside....

So glad school is going good for you... And too funny about how small the world really is.. that your teacher now, knows your high school teacher....

I was going to do ribs out on the grill tonight, but now think I have to come up with plan B.. too windy to BBQ......

Oh, I love to cook on the grill......

Well, I guess I'm going to clean up the kitchen and living room and guess I will throw some cloths on also.. Still in my PJ"s......

HUG HUG HUG.... Love Dianah

 Hi Becky,

How are you today, still feeling sore? I hope not.

God, howlong must John still wait to get some treatment for his knee???? You do a wonderful job with the ice and heat but he does need a doctor, yes? I surely don't want to live in the US with that medical thing that is going on. But wish John much strenght from me and tell him to listen to his lady about not walking on that knee.

Congratulations on your sons passing in culinairy school. Le Cordon Bleu school, waw, if he is really good, he should go to France. Later yes but the French have excellent food. I live not so far from the French border and eat French every day. Just one thing and i (we Belgians are proud of it), You know, you all say French fries* but in fact the original place where they were made is Belgium,did you know that. It's true. It should of been Belgian fries* but some chef called them French. Not many people know this but is really true. And Cordon Blue is a meat-dish, dilicious*, we eat it with sweet patatoes and tomatoes a lot. It is porc slices opened in the middle with a special cheese inside, closed up again and turned in 'chapelure'. You bake them and the cheese melts, very yummy yummy. Thinking of it, the water comes in my mouth.

I have been reading your post about the sleeping habbit. There are some good hints in it that i will try, thank you. Only just a few questions, when do you go to bed and get up, even in the WEds? It is to have an idea what you mean, not too late, 10,11,0.00PM? Up when? 6,7,8.00 AM? Me is sleep when i can, day or night and i know now that it must change that bad habbit. The 20 minute i know but it does not work with me. I think all the time, still 15 minutes, still 10 minutes and then i panic. Any advice?

Another thing i have want to ask you about but did not dare is, how did you know when you had Bipolar Syndrome? Can you discribe how you are, Becky, please?

Why? Well, sometimes i am very manic and then in a couple of hours it can turn to the wurse. I love to be manic, those moments don't stay long but it gets me going, if you know what you mean. I don't dare ask my doc, afraid he would laugh with me. Can you tell me how it is to live with Bipolar without meds, i mean, how was it for you when you were not yet diagnosed with the disease.? How did the doc came to the conclusion?

I red that you said 'garter snakes' (pluriel), there was just one before or did he find a friend?

Good luck on the work on the rocks to keep the water from getting inside them.... hard work. I do hope it will work.

Love, sims

Hi lady purple hat,

Just like you, sweet lady, my mind was all day about Prof. I saw a nice post last night when i logged out from another person a long time ago. I will post it later, you will remember it. I hope that what is in that post may be so true for Prof, the poor thing. May she indeed have a lot of sleep and feel as comfortable as possible. All we can do is hope and pray.

You are so right about the losses here on the board. You, Becky, Debbie, Morgan, Prof. August 2008 is a hard one for everybody here.

I am sorry, i don't post so i-regalar* but when i feel so down, i feel so guilty to post with just my problems then here on the board. It feels like i would put everybody down with me and i don't want to do that. That is why. But i will send you an e-mail then, ok. Thank you for your address.

About your hubby, you miss him, don't you, when he is gone? I think you are like me on that. My hubby is on guard, his last night. It is 4.40AM now for me and can't sleep again. I miss him too.

But still some really good news, tomorrow, wednes day he is on holiday. 2 weeks and a half, till 15 september. I am so happy. No calls from the hospital, no working overtime, no stress, just wonderful.

And he needs it, he is so tired for the moment.

Dianah, thank you for being proud of me, it means a lot to me.

I am not over it yet but i need some magor things to change and rapidly. I never understood the real meaning about 'no pain, no gain'. I was being lived by the pain, so after the other door, there must be a way  to lears to live with the pain. Am i getting the point now?

Love you Di, sims

Ps You wrote :" I can yak with the best of them... hahaha..." ..... What does that sentence mean. Don't understand not a word from it. What is yak? The best of them? Who?

And what does it mean, the word needy?

Big kisses, me

John wants the computer, so I'll have to be quick...

Yes, we now have multiple garter snakes...the snake had babies, and now we have little ones, as well as the bigger one.

I'll post tomorrow morning about the bipolar disorder...it's a long story...I will say, however ,that if not for the meds, I wouldn't be here...

John's knee is feeling better today...not so much swelling...but he still needs to see an orthopedic doctor...we live in a small town, where there is a shortage of specialists.  When the general doctor makes a referral to a specialist, the specialist has to look over the file and decide if he will take the case...rediculous in my opinion...if the general doc says that he needs to be seen, then he needs to be seen!! 

I try to get to bed about 10:30, and I get up at 6:30 in the morning.  On weekends, we sleep in until 7:30...on weekdays, we set the alarm for 6:00 AM and hit the snooze bar for 1/2 hour.  On weekends, we set the alarm for 7:00 and hit the snooze bar  for 1/2 hour...the snooze alarm goes off every 9 minutes...we get up when we're supposed to on the weekends, unless one of us accidentally turns off the alarm instead of hitting the snooze bar...the off button is right next to the snooze bar!!

For the power naps, I actually set the alarm for 1 hour...it takes me awhile to fall asleep during the day, so 20 minutes ticks by too fast...I'm like you...I keep watching the clock...and if I can't see the clock, I will doze and then wake with a start and wonder how long I still have...but if I don't set an alarm, I'd sleep all day!!

Well, I'd better go...I'll let John have the computer for now...I'll be back in the morning...I'll go into detail about the bipolar disorder...in the mean time, check it out online...go to www.nami.org  It is a very good web site and has lots of good information about mental illness...

Becky

A burr Good Morning

It's 45 degree's this morning and just a little breeze blowing.

Mr Weather Man is calling for 70's next two days and then will jump up to 80's and then looks like we will be back down to the 70's again...

My crazy guys left the house at 4 this morning. They are heading up to set up their tree stands for hunting. They are CRAZY and will act this way until the end of Nov... ha ha ha...

Not feeling so good this morning, I am sure it's the 45 degree's that is effecting my poor old body..

Sims.. Yak means to "talk".. I know, sounds funny..

Sure hope Prof is hanging in there. I think today will be the hard day for her.. So fingers and toes crossed she just can sleep as much as she can.

Sending you a big hug for today HUG HUG HUG......

Becky.  So glad Johns swelling is going down. Yeah.... 

When do the kids start back to school?? Our  kids here, started back yesterday..

HUG HUG HUG.........

Here I sit, with one of my winter coats on.. how crazy is that, and I'm sure I'm looking good here..

A nice-hot-bath is going to take place soon and will see if that helps me feel better. Its like everything on my old body is hurting and almost have the chills....

Oh, Morgan is going to have surgery this Friday on her leg. Bless her heart.  They will use screws and a plate to fix her back up..

Sounds like she will be at a top-notch hospital, so that's great on her end...

Well, going to head to take a Bath and see if that will bring me back to the living this morning..

Hope today will be kind to all of us.. Love Dianah

Good Morning, Sims...I'm sharing my coffee with you as I post...I'll continue from last night's post...

This morning, I'm pretty sore...headache, sore neck, sore hips...those are the main areas I am hurting today.

Bipolar Disorder:  It is a mood disorder characterized by extreme highs and lows. 

Maina is happiness to the extreme... it also can involve agitation...anger...extreme anxiety...lack of sleep, but still having too much energy...racing thoughts that won't stop...talking too much (I'm very guilty of this, to the point where some people avoid me)...over-spending...being "on top of the world" and feeling like you can do anything...over-confident...hyper-sexuality (embarrassing to discuss with the doctor, and embarrassing to talk about...but John didn't mind that symptom).....inability to stick to one thing to the finish...many people in the manic state are very productive and can accomplish a lot...and the manic phase brings lots of creativity...it is fun being manic...for awhile...until it reaches the extremes, where the line between reality and fantasy is blurred...

Then there is the depression...more than just a little sadness...the higher the manic mood, the lower the depression will go...depression is extreme sadness...easy to anger and easy to get frustrated over small things...sleeping too much, or inability to sleep because of worrying too much...no energy...lack of interest in things that usually are fun and exciting for you...feeling overwhelmed by the responsibilities of life...often suicidal thoughts...and physical symptoms of overall body pain, headaches, joint pain, muscle pain...in severe depression it involves disthymia, where it is difficult to talk and communicate, movements are slowed, the limbs are stiff...

What defines it as Bipolar Disorder is that it is a long-term pattern to bounce back and forth between the moods...some people have rapid-cycling, where their moods bounce back and forth many times a day, or having a few days of being manic, followed by a few days of being depressed.  The other type of Bipolar Disorder involves a long-term pattern of mania for weeks or months, followed by weeks or months of depression. 

Many factors affect Bipolar moods...when I am around people, I go manic, and I tend to talk too much...and it lasts for several hours after I get home.  Stressful events can trigger depression or mania...sometimes difficult situations put me into extreme "problem-solving" mode, where I can't stop trying to come up with a solution to the problem...more than just working it out...obsessivly writing lists, and just can't sleep until the problem is solved (even if there is no "quick" solution).  Or stress can cause me to go into depression, where it is just overwhelming, and I can't even think. 

When my mom passed away, I stayed up all night writing about her...what I wrote ended up being her eulogy, read at her funeral.  When my dad passed away, I stayed up all night writing a song....which ended up being sung at his funeral, and it was requested at my uncle's funeral when he passed away...but the long-term effect of my mom's passing was deep depression...I had severe headaches, heart palpitations, and was so sad I couldn't function, and I didn't want to talk to anybody.  I also had a lot of panic attacks.  I was completely uneducated about depression, or bipolar disorder.  With the severe panic attacks, I was sure that I was going to die...and my doctor at the time didn't take me seriously because the lab and xray findings were normal.

It wasn't until one of the nurses at the clinic recognized the symptoms of my severe depression and warned that I'd be in the psych ward before the end of the week...she MADE the doctor sit down and listen to her...and I DID end up in the psych ward...I made many attempts at suicide (mostly medication over-doses), and I was cutting myself with a razor blade...not as a suicide attempt, but as a relief for the stress...to focus on physical pain, rather than the mental pain.  My first visit to the psych ward lasted 6 weeks, and I was there many times in the following 2 years. 

At first, the doctors diagnosed me as depressed, with a severe case of insomnia...so they prescribed Amitriptyline, a tricyclic antidepressant, which treats depression, and makes the person very tired...they had me on the maximum dose, and I still wasn't sleeping...the antidepressant made me very manic, but I didn't recognize the symptoms, and they were embarrassing to discuss with the doctor...I was afraid he would laugh at me, or think I was faking it (because of my regular doctor who did accuse me of faking my physical symptoms)...I would have talked about it if the doctor had asked.

My friend, who also has bipolar disorder, recognized the bipolar symptoms and patterns in me, but my diagnosis remained to be "Clinical Depression" for several years.  The side effects of the antidepressant drugs were so bad, that I went off of them...and ended up back in the psych ward.  Then I went back on them, and stayed on them until I was pregnant with our 2nd child.  (Those particular drugs were potentially harmful to an unborn baby.)

During the pregnancy, my moods were pretty stable...the pregnancy hormones kept me stable...one of the bipolar medications does raise the prolactin levels (a pregnancy hormone) to stabilize the moods.  I got by without meds for about 2 years after that...

Then, I had a major crash again, and I ended up back in the psych ward.  We had moved to another town shortly after our 2nd child was born, so I had a new set of doctors.  While in the psych ward, the new psychiatrist was more observant, and he diagnosed Bipolar Disorder, based on long-term patterns, plus Borderline Personality Disorder, Dissosiative Disorder, and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (because of childhood sexual abuse)...many people with a mental illness have a combination of disorders all mixed together. 

I have the type of Bipolar Disorder where I bounce back and forth quickly...rapid-cycling...but I also have Seasonal Affective Disorder, so in the fall and winter, I tend toward depression, and in the spring and summer, I am more likely to be manic...it is very confusing...sometimes, I am manic and depressed at the same time...they call it a "mixed episode"...it feels like TV static (when the TV is not set on a station, and the screen has that pattern, and the shhhhh sound of static)...hard to imagine unless you have experienced it...happy, sad, anxious,and angry all at the same time....very confusing...and it is in this state that I am at highest risk for a suicide attempt.

Bipolar Disorder is difficult to diagnose, and doctors usually reserve judgement until they can observe the long-term patterns.  I have had the extreme mood swings all my life, as far back as I can remember...I knew that if I had a few really good days, they would be followed by a bunch of bad days...I thought everybody was like that.  In childhood, the Bipolar Symptoms are often mistaken for ADHD, as the inability to concentrate and stick to school work, and the hyperactivity of mania, and inconsistant ability to do their work are so similar in both disorders.  It used to be that psychiatrists denied that Bipolar Disorder existed in children.  It isn't until puberty that the symptoms become more clear...sometimes the bipolar disorder doesn't become unmanageable until about age 30, when it suddenly shows up...the person has an emotional break-down that lands them in the psych ward.

Many people with mental illness turn to alcohol and illegal drugs and become addicted.  It is a form of self-medication...a temporary escape from the symptoms...however, their symptoms become much worse, and they focus all of their energy on getting more drugs.  Many of the homeless people in the USA have a mental illness, and they can't hold a job.  The welfare system doesn't cover treatment for these people...you have to be female and have kids in order to get welfare.  Men fall through the cracks in the system.  It is really a broken system.  Because medications are not available for them, the people remain mentally ill, and addicted to drugs, committing crimes to support their drug habits.  The homeless shelters will only house homeless people for a month...then they're back on the streets.  It is really sad...many of the mentally ill people don't recognize that they even have a problem.  There are free mental health clinics, but the person has to go of their own free will...you can't force a person to get mental health treatment until they become a danger to themselves or others (by law)...

Also, there is a public stigma against mental illness...like people with a mental illness are completely crazy and unstable and shouldn't be allowed out..and television perpetuates this attitude...even Dr. Phil tends to only show the extreme cases that will get people's attention and make more people watch the show...he focuses on the bizzare, abnormal behaviors, and he fails to mention that with medications and counseling, many with a mental illness can become stable and function in society.  Only the extreme cases really need to stay in a mental hospital for life. 

Many people with a mental illness will go off of their medications as soon as they feel "better"...a big mistake...many people go off of the medications because they don't like the side effects...which in some medications can be pretty bad.  I personally have gone off of my medications a few times and have landed right back in the psych ward.  I now know that I am on my medications for life...they keep me stable...but I am unable to work because the stress will cause me to become unstable...even with medications.

Also, it takes time to find the right combination of drugs to treat Bipolar Disorder...usually, counseling IS NOT enough to treat the symptoms, although, it is very helpful along with the medications.  It took 10 years to find the right medications for me...I've had some which don't work...some caused really bad side effects...and since the diagnosis of the heart arrhythmia, there are many medications which can aggravate the arrhythmia...I was on some of those before I was diagnosed with the arrhythmia, and the doctors thought I was faking it when I complained of heart palpitations...most doctors are not well educated on Long QT Syndrome (the heart arrhythmia) because it is so rare...only one in 7000 people have it...so now I am limited to only a few medications...no tricylics...no SSRIs...no MAOI meds...and certain anti-psychotic meds also have the potential to aggravate the arrhythmia...Some of the Bipolar Meds cause extreme weight gain...I was on one that caused me to gain 50 pounds in 9 months...and then another that caused me to gain another 10 pounds.

After gaining all that weight, the doctor refused to change the medication because it was keeping me mentally stable...and very depressed about being fat...I changed doctors at that time, and the new doctor agreed that the weight gain was unacceptable, so she changed my medications.  I now take Lamictal and Abilify, plus Temazepam for sleep.  Most people with Bipolar Disorder need a combination of medications to treat it.  And different medications work differently for different people. 

Many of the mood stabilizing medications were originally developed to treat epilepsy, and it was discovered that they also worked to stabilize moods.  Many people with Bipolar Disorder also require an anti-psychotic medication to treat the extreme anxiety that comes with mania and with depression.  My Lamictal is also used for epilepsy, and the Abilify is an anti-psychotic. 

Some of the medications I was previously on shut down my feelings compltely, and I was emotionally "dead" for about 10 years...I couldn't cry...I completely lost my creative side, and I didn't paint or do art during that period of my life.  When I changed to my current set of medications, about 4 years ago, I finally got my creativity back...I am able to feel happy and sad...can cry when I need to...can laugh and be happy...without the extremes...I still go a little manic and talk too much and spend too much, but it no longer gets out of control.

As far as discussing it with your doctor...work up some courage...write down all of your symptoms...and talk to him/her.  Your doctor is there to help you, but he/she can't help if you don't discuss what is going on.  It might be helpful to keep a "mood diary", where you use a day-planner calendar to note your moods throughout the day.  Keep filling out the diary over a period of time, and see if there is a pattern.  If you have extreme moods, think about what is going on to trigger the moods, and write that down too...note the time of day...usually one or two words is enough...just enough to remind you what it means.  It may be embarrassing, but it may help to remember that there is probably nothing that your doctor hasn't heard before.  Your doctor will probably send you to a psychiatrist or psychologist for further evaluation.

Go discuss it with your doctor before it gets out of hand...

I think I've just written a book here...I hope the information is helpful...this is not my whole life story...that really would take a book to cover it...there is a book called "Sugar and Salt", written by Jane Thompson...she has Bipolar Disorder, and the book is about her journey through the illness and how she got treatment and became stable and productive.

Again, go to www.nami.org  the official website for the National Alliance for the Mentally ill...there is a wealth of information there, and you can read and see if the symptoms match up with your own...it is not for the purpose of diagnosing yourself, but a tool to educate you, so you can discuss it more easily with your doctor.  When I read about Bipolar Disorder, after being diagnosed, I saw myself...it was amazing...finally to have a name for what was going on with me...

You can also use your internet search engine (Google)...enter "Bipolar Disorder", and many useful articles will come up...just beware of the websites that want to sell you miracle medications and "natural" cures...it is unsafe to try any medication without a doctor's prescription and care.

So...educate yourself, and talk with your doctor...you may be surprised at just how well he/she will listen to you...

Let me know what you think after reading the internet information on Bipolar Disorder...and let me know how the conversation with your doctor goes...afterall, you are paying him/her to help you...

Becky

Good morning...it's still morning for another 15 minutes...

I was supposed to go to a doctor's appointment today with the endocrinologist, but I had to cancel because the van won't start...dead battery...don't know why the battery is dead...the lights automatically shut off after five minutes if a door is left open...maybe one of the kids messed with the dome light and left it on...hard to say...I just drove it yesterday...but even the electric locks won't work today...I hope it is just a dead battery, and not a bigger problem...we have no money for a bigger problem!!

And, our oldest son called and says he wants to talk to DAD...but he wouldn't say what for...he said that it is nothing bad...but it sure makes me curious...he wouldn't even say what it is...just what it's not...not about his car, school, or his job...he probably wants to complain about me hounding him about getting his externship lined up...LOL 

Youngest son and I will have to WALK to Cub Scouts tonight...since the van won't start...hopefully, John will figure it out quickly...

And, we're trying to sell our travel trailer, since we haven't been able to use it since the gas prices went sky high...several people have emailed saying that they want pictures...had some, but we lost the pictures when our computer crashed.  I have been unable to get more because the trailer batteries are dead (they run out just from sitting), and John doesn't want me to plug them in until he has a chance to make sure that the batteries have enough water in them...that requires moving the huge propane tanks, which are mounted in front of  the batteries, so I can't get to them, and I wouldn't know what to do, even if I could get to them...the slide-out uses the batteries to work...not the electric hook-up...dumb if you ask me...so I can't get good pictures until the batteries are working...

Our pickup truck has a bad battery too...we have to charge it before every use...it needs a new one...batteries...the bane of my existence right now!!  I think we need solar powered cars and trailers!!  We have plenty of sunshine around here!!

So, what is everybody up to today??  I've been thinking of Prof...I hope she is doing well...I'd love to hear something soon...I guess I'll get to paying the bills (Oh Joy!!)...

Becky