Quote From: simonecornelia Hi Becky,
How are you today, still feeling sore? I hope not.
God, howlong must John still wait to get some treatment for his knee???? You do a wonderful job with the ice and heat but he does need a doctor, yes? I surely don't want to live in the US with that medical thing that is going on. But wish John much strenght from me and tell him to listen to his lady about not walking on that knee.
Congratulations on your sons passing in culinairy school. Le Cordon Bleu school, waw, if he is really good, he should go to France. Later yes but the French have excellent food. I live not so far from the French border and eat French every day. Just one thing and i (we Belgians are proud of it), You know, you all say French fries* but in fact the original place where they were made is Belgium,did you know that. It's true. It should of been Belgian fries* but some chef called them French. Not many people know this but is really true. And Cordon Blue is a meat-dish, dilicious*, we eat it with sweet patatoes and tomatoes a lot. It is porc slices opened in the middle with a special cheese inside, closed up again and turned in 'chapelure'. You bake them and the cheese melts, very yummy yummy. Thinking of it, the water comes in my mouth.
I have been reading your post about the sleeping habbit. There are some good hints in it that i will try, thank you. Only just a few questions, when do you go to bed and get up, even in the WEds? It is to have an idea what you mean, not too late, 10,11,0.00PM? Up when? 6,7,8.00 AM? Me is sleep when i can, day or night and i know now that it must change that bad habbit. The 20 minute i know but it does not work with me. I think all the time, still 15 minutes, still 10 minutes and then i panic. Any advice?
Another thing i have want to ask you about but did not dare is, how did you know when you had Bipolar Syndrome? Can you discribe how you are, Becky, please?
Why? Well, sometimes i am very manic and then in a couple of hours it can turn to the wurse. I love to be manic, those moments don't stay long but it gets me going, if you know what you mean. I don't dare ask my doc, afraid he would laugh with me. Can you tell me how it is to live with Bipolar without meds, i mean, how was it for you when you were not yet diagnosed with the disease.? How did the doc came to the conclusion?
I red that you said 'garter snakes' (pluriel), there was just one before or did he find a friend?
Good luck on the work on the rocks to keep the water from getting inside them.... hard work. I do hope it will work.
Love, sims
Good Morning, Sims...I'm sharing my coffee with you as I post...I'll continue from last night's post...
This morning, I'm pretty sore...headache, sore neck, sore hips...those are the main areas I am hurting today.
Bipolar Disorder: It is a mood disorder characterized by extreme highs and lows.
Maina is happiness to the extreme... it also can involve agitation...anger...extreme anxiety...lack of sleep, but still having too much energy...racing thoughts that won't stop...talking too much (I'm very guilty of this, to the point where some people avoid me)...over-spending...being "on top of the world" and feeling like you can do anything...over-confident...hyper-sexuality (embarrassing to discuss with the doctor, and embarrassing to talk about...but John didn't mind that symptom).....inability to stick to one thing to the finish...many people in the manic state are very productive and can accomplish a lot...and the manic phase brings lots of creativity...it is fun being manic...for awhile...until it reaches the extremes, where the line between reality and fantasy is blurred...
Then there is the depression...more than just a little sadness...the higher the manic mood, the lower the depression will go...depression is extreme sadness...easy to anger and easy to get frustrated over small things...sleeping too much, or inability to sleep because of worrying too much...no energy...lack of interest in things that usually are fun and exciting for you...feeling overwhelmed by the responsibilities of life...often suicidal thoughts...and physical symptoms of overall body pain, headaches, joint pain, muscle pain...in severe depression it involves disthymia, where it is difficult to talk and communicate, movements are slowed, the limbs are stiff...
What defines it as Bipolar Disorder is that it is a long-term pattern to bounce back and forth between the moods...some people have rapid-cycling, where their moods bounce back and forth many times a day, or having a few days of being manic, followed by a few days of being depressed. The other type of Bipolar Disorder involves a long-term pattern of mania for weeks or months, followed by weeks or months of depression.
Many factors affect Bipolar moods...when I am around people, I go manic, and I tend to talk too much...and it lasts for several hours after I get home. Stressful events can trigger depression or mania...sometimes difficult situations put me into extreme "problem-solving" mode, where I can't stop trying to come up with a solution to the problem...more than just working it out...obsessivly writing lists, and just can't sleep until the problem is solved (even if there is no "quick" solution). Or stress can cause me to go into depression, where it is just overwhelming, and I can't even think.
When my mom passed away, I stayed up all night writing about her...what I wrote ended up being her eulogy, read at her funeral. When my dad passed away, I stayed up all night writing a song....which ended up being sung at his funeral, and it was requested at my uncle's funeral when he passed away...but the long-term effect of my mom's passing was deep depression...I had severe headaches, heart palpitations, and was so sad I couldn't function, and I didn't want to talk to anybody. I also had a lot of panic attacks. I was completely uneducated about depression, or bipolar disorder. With the severe panic attacks, I was sure that I was going to die...and my doctor at the time didn't take me seriously because the lab and xray findings were normal.
It wasn't until one of the nurses at the clinic recognized the symptoms of my severe depression and warned that I'd be in the psych ward before the end of the week...she MADE the doctor sit down and listen to her...and I DID end up in the psych ward...I made many attempts at suicide (mostly medication over-doses), and I was cutting myself with a razor blade...not as a suicide attempt, but as a relief for the stress...to focus on physical pain, rather than the mental pain. My first visit to the psych ward lasted 6 weeks, and I was there many times in the following 2 years.
At first, the doctors diagnosed me as depressed, with a severe case of insomnia...so they prescribed Amitriptyline, a tricyclic antidepressant, which treats depression, and makes the person very tired...they had me on the maximum dose, and I still wasn't sleeping...the antidepressant made me very manic, but I didn't recognize the symptoms, and they were embarrassing to discuss with the doctor...I was afraid he would laugh at me, or think I was faking it (because of my regular doctor who did accuse me of faking my physical symptoms)...I would have talked about it if the doctor had asked.
My friend, who also has bipolar disorder, recognized the bipolar symptoms and patterns in me, but my diagnosis remained to be "Clinical Depression" for several years. The side effects of the antidepressant drugs were so bad, that I went off of them...and ended up back in the psych ward. Then I went back on them, and stayed on them until I was pregnant with our 2nd child. (Those particular drugs were potentially harmful to an unborn baby.)
During the pregnancy, my moods were pretty stable...the pregnancy hormones kept me stable...one of the bipolar medications does raise the prolactin levels (a pregnancy hormone) to stabilize the moods. I got by without meds for about 2 years after that...
Then, I had a major crash again, and I ended up back in the psych ward. We had moved to another town shortly after our 2nd child was born, so I had a new set of doctors. While in the psych ward, the new psychiatrist was more observant, and he diagnosed Bipolar Disorder, based on long-term patterns, plus Borderline Personality Disorder, Dissosiative Disorder, and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (because of childhood sexual abuse)...many people with a mental illness have a combination of disorders all mixed together.
I have the type of Bipolar Disorder where I bounce back and forth quickly...rapid-cycling...but I also have Seasonal Affective Disorder, so in the fall and winter, I tend toward depression, and in the spring and summer, I am more likely to be manic...it is very confusing...sometimes, I am manic and depressed at the same time...they call it a "mixed episode"...it feels like TV static (when the TV is not set on a station, and the screen has that pattern, and the shhhhh sound of static)...hard to imagine unless you have experienced it...happy, sad, anxious,and angry all at the same time....very confusing...and it is in this state that I am at highest risk for a suicide attempt.
Bipolar Disorder is difficult to diagnose, and doctors usually reserve judgement until they can observe the long-term patterns. I have had the extreme mood swings all my life, as far back as I can remember...I knew that if I had a few really good days, they would be followed by a bunch of bad days...I thought everybody was like that. In childhood, the Bipolar Symptoms are often mistaken for ADHD, as the inability to concentrate and stick to school work, and the hyperactivity of mania, and inconsistant ability to do their work are so similar in both disorders. It used to be that psychiatrists denied that Bipolar Disorder existed in children. It isn't until puberty that the symptoms become more clear...sometimes the bipolar disorder doesn't become unmanageable until about age 30, when it suddenly shows up...the person has an emotional break-down that lands them in the psych ward.
Many people with mental illness turn to alcohol and illegal drugs and become addicted. It is a form of self-medication...a temporary escape from the symptoms...however, their symptoms become much worse, and they focus all of their energy on getting more drugs. Many of the homeless people in the USA have a mental illness, and they can't hold a job. The welfare system doesn't cover treatment for these people...you have to be female and have kids in order to get welfare. Men fall through the cracks in the system. It is really a broken system. Because medications are not available for them, the people remain mentally ill, and addicted to drugs, committing crimes to support their drug habits. The homeless shelters will only house homeless people for a month...then they're back on the streets. It is really sad...many of the mentally ill people don't recognize that they even have a problem. There are free mental health clinics, but the person has to go of their own free will...you can't force a person to get mental health treatment until they become a danger to themselves or others (by law)...
Also, there is a public stigma against mental illness...like people with a mental illness are completely crazy and unstable and shouldn't be allowed out..and television perpetuates this attitude...even Dr. Phil tends to only show the extreme cases that will get people's attention and make more people watch the show...he focuses on the bizzare, abnormal behaviors, and he fails to mention that with medications and counseling, many with a mental illness can become stable and function in society. Only the extreme cases really need to stay in a mental hospital for life.
Many people with a mental illness will go off of their medications as soon as they feel "better"...a big mistake...many people go off of the medications because they don't like the side effects...which in some medications can be pretty bad. I personally have gone off of my medications a few times and have landed right back in the psych ward. I now know that I am on my medications for life...they keep me stable...but I am unable to work because the stress will cause me to become unstable...even with medications.
Also, it takes time to find the right combination of drugs to treat Bipolar Disorder...usually, counseling IS NOT enough to treat the symptoms, although, it is very helpful along with the medications. It took 10 years to find the right medications for me...I've had some which don't work...some caused really bad side effects...and since the diagnosis of the heart arrhythmia, there are many medications which can aggravate the arrhythmia...I was on some of those before I was diagnosed with the arrhythmia, and the doctors thought I was faking it when I complained of heart palpitations...most doctors are not well educated on Long QT Syndrome (the heart arrhythmia) because it is so rare...only one in 7000 people have it...so now I am limited to only a few medications...no tricylics...no SSRIs...no MAOI meds...and certain anti-psychotic meds also have the potential to aggravate the arrhythmia...Some of the Bipolar Meds cause extreme weight gain...I was on one that caused me to gain 50 pounds in 9 months...and then another that caused me to gain another 10 pounds.
After gaining all that weight, the doctor refused to change the medication because it was keeping me mentally stable...and very depressed about being fat...I changed doctors at that time, and the new doctor agreed that the weight gain was unacceptable, so she changed my medications. I now take Lamictal and Abilify, plus Temazepam for sleep. Most people with Bipolar Disorder need a combination of medications to treat it. And different medications work differently for different people.
Many of the mood stabilizing medications were originally developed to treat epilepsy, and it was discovered that they also worked to stabilize moods. Many people with Bipolar Disorder also require an anti-psychotic medication to treat the extreme anxiety that comes with mania and with depression. My Lamictal is also used for epilepsy, and the Abilify is an anti-psychotic.
Some of the medications I was previously on shut down my feelings compltely, and I was emotionally "dead" for about 10 years...I couldn't cry...I completely lost my creative side, and I didn't paint or do art during that period of my life. When I changed to my current set of medications, about 4 years ago, I finally got my creativity back...I am able to feel happy and sad...can cry when I need to...can laugh and be happy...without the extremes...I still go a little manic and talk too much and spend too much, but it no longer gets out of control.
As far as discussing it with your doctor...work up some courage...write down all of your symptoms...and talk to him/her. Your doctor is there to help you, but he/she can't help if you don't discuss what is going on. It might be helpful to keep a "mood diary", where you use a day-planner calendar to note your moods throughout the day. Keep filling out the diary over a period of time, and see if there is a pattern. If you have extreme moods, think about what is going on to trigger the moods, and write that down too...note the time of day...usually one or two words is enough...just enough to remind you what it means. It may be embarrassing, but it may help to remember that there is probably nothing that your doctor hasn't heard before. Your doctor will probably send you to a psychiatrist or psychologist for further evaluation.
Go discuss it with your doctor before it gets out of hand...
I think I've just written a book here...I hope the information is helpful...this is not my whole life story...that really would take a book to cover it...there is a book called "Sugar and Salt", written by Jane Thompson...she has Bipolar Disorder, and the book is about her journey through the illness and how she got treatment and became stable and productive.
Again, go to www.nami.org the official website for the National Alliance for the Mentally ill...there is a wealth of information there, and you can read and see if the symptoms match up with your own...it is not for the purpose of diagnosing yourself, but a tool to educate you, so you can discuss it more easily with your doctor. When I read about Bipolar Disorder, after being diagnosed, I saw myself...it was amazing...finally to have a name for what was going on with me...
You can also use your internet search engine (Google)...enter "Bipolar Disorder", and many useful articles will come up...just beware of the websites that want to sell you miracle medications and "natural" cures...it is unsafe to try any medication without a doctor's prescription and care.
So...educate yourself, and talk with your doctor...you may be surprised at just how well he/she will listen to you...
Let me know what you think after reading the internet information on Bipolar Disorder...and let me know how the conversation with your doctor goes...afterall, you are paying him/her to help you...
Becky