Topic : When a Family Member Gets Sick

 Hi
l am seeking advise.  My husband has had two strokes since 12th July 2005 and has had three bad seizures.  My issue it that l have to return to work on the 24th  of this month and l am so worried about leaving him at home alone.  It was my worst nightmare on the 18th of last month coming inside our home and finding him unconscious on the bed.  l called an ambulance and two came.  He was in hospital for a week then to a rehabilitation hospital for another week.  

My greatest fear is coming home and finding him passed away in our home.  We dont have children but he has four older children from a previous marriage.  Therefore it is only us.  And l have to return to work soon and l am afraid!!

To his stubborn credit he has agreed in principal for me to find a monitor system for our home. We live in Australia and have only been able to find two companies who make monitors that will alert when someone has fallen.  We can just afford to get one but will this help give me a bit of peace of mind when l am at work??

He is my life and am struggling to cope with this.  As people keep reminding me that l married an older man, he is 67 and l am 42, but l really did not expect to go through this just yet.

Can anyone help me with advise?  Is what l am feeling wrong?

Many thanks.

My mom is very sick. She has been told by the Dr. that she will not live to see the first of the year if she does not have the gastric bypass surgery. 

We can't pay for it, the insurance won't cover it because to them it is cosmetic. 

The don't have the money because they just had to buy another house because she cannot climb stairs any longer. 

She barely makes it from room to room and even though she is on oxygen she has to stop and take a break before she goes any further. 

I hate seeing her this way...it breaks my heart. 

She did quit smoking quite a while back, but I guess it was too late. 

My oldest son who is almost 13 stays out there with her and my dad to help them. 

My b/f  and myself along with my sister go and clean for her, but there is not much more we can do. 

She cries a lot, she doesn't want to leave her babies...meaning us. 

I cry because I feel like she has taken care of me all my life there must be something I can do but I just dont know what. 

I cannot pay for the surgery because I recieve ssi for my epilepsy...we barely make it month to month. 

  

Hi, I am sorry to hear about your husband. My Grandfather had many strokes before he passed so I know what you mean about being concerned that something will happen when your not there.

Have you considered home health care?

Someone to be there just while you are at work, to help him.

What about his older children? Will one of them keep an eye on him while you work?

My husband is older also, but he is just 9 yrs older.

You know marrying someone older doesnt mean that is always bad...

I hope all goes well for you...

 

 

  Hi Gingercat :

 

  Hopefully your husband is under the care of a "nutrition-oriented" physician !? If you live in

  Queensland, Victoria, or New South Wales, there may be one near you !? If you live in one of

  those 3, go to : www.acam.org and click the Doctor Search; then in the box put "australia" and

  put the "dot" in "Country" . For stroke prevention, try Nattokinase; it's an enzyme derived from

  natto, a traditional Jananese fermented soy food. It has the remarkable ability to prevent and

  dissolve blood clots; the recommended dose is 100 mg daily in divided doses. It may be ordered

  from Allergy Research Group, (800) 545-9960 or www.allergyresearchgroup.com .

 It was lovely to get some response and l thank you.
We have considered and looked into home care but because l live in our home and considered able bodied by our council we are not entitled to receive any help there.  The only thing we have been able to arrange and qualify for is meals on wheels once a week.  Everything is means (income) tested.  We dont earn a great deal.  Just enough to keep a roof over our head.
It would be ideal to have someone at home whilst l am at work but there is no one.  His children live at least  a 3 hour drive and they all have families.
It is with intrepidation that l return to work on the 24th of this month and all my fingers and toes are crossed.  The way our luck has been going who knows.
My husband is the best friend l never had!!.  Nothing wrong with an older man.  l agree with your quote "You know marrying someone older doesnt mean that is always bad...".
And l hope all goes well with you also.
Best wishes.

  My beautiful son Chris  21 was just getting started on his adult life.  He went out and got a job at Kroger's and done a good job anything they ask him to do.  It was his first job.  With his pay checks be saved it all but a little be wanted to go to a trade school to be a police officer.  It took awhile and he attended 2 classes of his tech school and got up to go to work the next morning and felt sick.  For the first time he called off work and stayed ill all day.  I watched him and knew something just wasn't right.  Sunday morning I got up went on to work and couldn't get him out of my mind.  I left my job with a boss that was not real happy with me to take him to the hospital.  While we waited to be seen something kept nagging me that something was really wrong.  After a 2 hour wait the Dr came in and she just thought he had the flu also but I ask her to run a blood test because his skin tones didn't look right he was yellow.  She done the test and I knew when she came in and wanted another test that his blood counts were way to low and if I had waited to bring him after I got off work he would have died.  I knew right then what it was she ran other test but the look on her face told it all.  She started to cry and said her and a few other Dr's were coming in but it looks like it is leukemia all to exact.  He should not have this at this time in his life.  If he was going to get it it should have showed up at 3 to 9 or later years but something triggered his early and he was in very bad shape.  The next couple of weeks were a blur.  I don't know how we made and still are.  He has every reaction to all the drugs.  We have been dealing with this for a year now .  Life got really bad in Nov,Dec,Jan.  We didn't know if he was going to make it from one minute to the next for 40 day.  We sat by his bed side.His veins started to leak and they had to drain off 5 liters of fluid and put in a chest tube, JP tube, catheter,oxygen.  My son was very hard to recognize because of the fluid.  His heart was working hard.  He was dying one piece at a time due to tefilitis, and fungus that would not die.  When they drained the fluid they discovered he had a soridic liver.  They had to give him a few days to recover then do a liver biopsy.  A young man that didn't drink now had Cirrhosis of the liver for no medical reason why,  His mind was else where we say to a safe place.  On Christmas day he woke up and came back to us.  But that was a new challenge because he had to learn to walk again.  He lost almost 50 Pd's and had to learn to eat again.  I slept only a few hours every couple of days I was afraid he would need me and I would be asleep.  I prayed without ceasing.  God saved him, The Dr's at Vanderbilt Children's hospital in Nashville TN saved all the nurses saved him.  To answer the topic when a family member gets sick you do what ever it takes to save their lives.  You do without sleep, food, try to keep your brains about yourself and cry when they are asleep.I know in my heart that the kemo is saving his life but it breaks my heart to have to see my young vibrate son sick taking kemo not complaining of pain and kemo is painful.  He has a Strong will to live and I never let him give up.  Once Chris came home on Friday JAN 13 he had a walker but now he is walking, talking, drawing, playing games, going to movies when he can and he now attends church.  If you think you are ready for anything think again.  Cancer will cripple a family.  The money spent is outrageous but what do you do.  I gave up my job and went through my savings but now I am in a place where I can go back to work part time.

Thanks for letting me get this off my chest

Hello - I also have COPD with a lung function of only 17% so I can very well relate to what your mom is dealing with. Please, please talk to your mom's doctor about getting her into a good pulmonary rehab program. The best thing that someone with COPD can do is get up and start moving. It can sometimes be very, very difficult to do  but we must keep moving. Exercise and stopping smoking can help a lot in someone with COPD. You don't say what her FEV1 is so it's hard to say where she is in this disease. I assume she is overweight if she is considering gastric bypass surgery. That can affect her need for O2. Another thing that will help her breathing is if she limits the amount of carbs she takes in each day. It takes more to digest carbs that protein or fat. Please feel free to visit our website at http://www.emphysema.net if you'd like to learn more about COPD. I hope this will help some.

my mother is in the last stages of this decease and lives in england her husband of 25 years is her carer i have lived in the states for the past 30 years  i live with my youngest daughters  father of 10 years i have two older married children and three grandchildren i have to work .my question is  should i go and live in the UK with my youngest daughter now and be with my mother until the end  or stay here and continue with my life ?i visit about every 3 to 4 months at the moment but feel so guilty when i leave but feel i must.what should i do?

It breaks my heart to see people suffer, even though I don't know anyone on here, I feel the need to share what I have learned about SOME people that call themselves medical professionals.  The doctor can be the scariest of people soemtimes when they say you only have so long to live and their's nothing we can do for you, now that we have your money, you can die. That's what I get from the majority of medical doctors. There ARE holistic answers to help you all with this COPD. Man the medical system sure likes to isolate things and call things names eh? Have you tried Wheatgrass juice? Visit the health food store and or a juice bar, get yourself and your mom some wheatgrass, it is miraculous! That will build the immune system and the rest of your body strong in EVERY way, there will be less pain and more strength. At the health food store you can buy what is called CELL FOOD, you put 8 drops in some water, it provides you with oxygen and amino acids, wheatgrass juice is also considered liquid oxygen and will help the body digest everything better, you can also get digestive enzymes at the health food store, acidophilus & bifidus, MULLEIN for the respiratory system, the REISHI MUSHROOM is miraculous as well for the repiratory system. There are SO many answers at the health food store, the NATUROPATHIC physician aught to be of GREAT help for you all YES EVEN WITH COPD. They have worked miracles for me. IT's all about the rain forest we are killing, it has the cure, the cure is not a mystery, it is botanical.

I'm not in the health care field but something to consider would be to get your parathyroid checked.  Have your calcium levels been high?  The crystals may be calcium deposits.  That sometimes happens because the calcium gets sucked out of the bones and goes into the bloodstream.  My mom had a problem a few years ago and the one doc ignored it.  Once she had nodules removed from her parathyroid, the symptoms went away.  Unfortunately, she suffers from very brittle bones because of losing so much calcium from her bones.