Topic : When a Family Member Gets Sick

December 24,2004 my world was turned upside down. My father went in the hospital to have his gallbladder removed.  after the surgery his doctor came out and told the family that they had found a tumor on my dads pancreas and that he had no more than 5 months to live. 

        lets go back a little bit. in all my 38 years of life we have never seen my dad sick. he never was sick.  he is a very strong and prideful man and nothing could get him down. 

   he never missed church ever no matter how bad he was feeling. he was superman. My sister called the cancer treatment centers of America and they took him in and in about three months of treatments they gave us the good news, they could not find the tumor, he had beat it. through this whole thing i was a wreck, crying all the time, thinking of what life was going to be like without my parents(i lost my mom in 93). but yet my dad was superman he knew god was with him and what ever happened was for the best. He was the one dying but yet we were the ones hurting. My dad has taught us all a lesson, never give up, never feel sorry for yourself and always believe in tomorrow. and always remember, faith, hope,love and family will get you through. Be strong,never think the worst, and show them your smile often, you would be surprised what a smile can do! 

Me and my mom are the best of friends and always have been.  When I was 15 my mom started having vision problems so she went to the doctor and then the doctors told my mom that there was a possibility that she may have MS (Multiple Sclerosis).  We got scared but thought there may be a possibility that it may not be.  We stayed optimistic but then on my 16th birthday the doctor called and told us it was MS.  The only thing we could do was hold each other and cry because we had no idea what MS really was.  After the crying we went and had chinese for dinner.  It has been almost 4 years since she has been diagnosed and she dosent believe that she has MS because she dosent feel sick.  But about 2 months ago her legs went numb from the bottems of her feet up to her knees.  She still will not take medicine.   I have tried everything to make her believe so she can prevent further problems.  Any ideas on how to help her understand my point of view?   

  

  

Tricia 

Tricia,  

  

I feel for you!  I hear the fear you have.  It is very real!   

  

I know someone who needs to get his lungs checked out but he's too stubborn to do so.  It would help his health a lot if he did so!  But, no matter what I say to him, he won't listen.  He's outright stubborn!!!!!!! 

  

I don't know of what advice to give to you.  What things has she said to you when you tell her this?  What is her perspective on the whole thing?  Does she go to doctors often, or does she not respect them?  Does she think the medicines won't help?  Does she know about MS?  Has she read the literature on MS?  Have you ever brought her information?  Does she read it? 

  

When you say you've tried everything, what specifically do you mean by everything? 

  

Montel Williams has MS.  Have you written to his talk show?   

  

Be strong! 

  

Yours truly, 

Kristie : ) 

fight4acure 

Thus saith the Lord God,
 
My Children, "Ye have sold yourselves for naught: redemption comes from God, and cannot be bought with money"
 
"My name every day is continually blasphemed. Therefore, my people shall know my name: Therefore in this day, they shall know that it is I that speaketh".
 
BEHOLD: IT IS I
"The Alter"

I have 3 brothers, all older than me. The youngest of the 3 has had so many problems that I cannot even begin to know what they are or were. He is 13 years older than me. When I was 3 he molested me pretty regularly. I had been molested by a neighbor at that time, too. I hated the neighbor but forgave my brother, even at that young age. 

  

He is in his late 40's now, and from as long as I can remember he has had addictions to drugs and alcohol. I don't know what started it, but I remember seeing him smoking secretly when I was very young and catching him with beer in the tree house that the boys built. 

  

He married the love of his life, but his tendancies to put his band and partying first lost him that marriage. The latest trouble he has gotten himself in to is the loss of a good job that he held for 26 yrs. He tells everyone that he quit that job, but the details just don't add up. We are sure he got fired. 

  

My oldest brother drives a semi and is over the road all the time. My youngest brother has not been able to find a job for a year now, so my oldest brother put him in charge of his garage. He pays him for maintenence and running errands and just taking care of business. He even allows my youngest brother to drive his brand new pick up so he can keep looking for a real job. 

  

Here's the dilema. My youngest brother uses the money he makes from my oldest brother to buy drugs and alcohol. He has had his home electricity shut off and has moved in to the garage. My husband also rents this garage to keep and run his dump truck out of. More than once my husband has come to the garage to start his work day and things have been messed with on his truck. One day an airline was switched and he missed 3 days of work trying to sort out the problem (no airline means no brakes), Very often my husband has gone to the garage to find a group of "druggie buddies"  inside partying, and my brother is so messed up that he doesn't even remember who was there the next day. My husband also knows for a fact that crack addicted women will come to the garage to perform sexual favors. 

  

We've taken steps to inform my oldest brother of the goings on. But my bigger concern is getting help for my youngest brother. He doesn't have insurance, and none of us have the money to pay for rehab. And even if we all pulled our funds together, he refuses to believe that he even has a problem. He has been confronted all his life and continuously argues that he just likes to have a good time and he's not hurting anyone. No rehab center will take him if he doesn't want to be there, and he doesn't. 

  

My middle brother has written my youngest brother off years ago and they never talk. My middle brother confronted him with his problem and several times agruments insued. I never bring up the molestation thing , but I have never let him babysit my children even though he has offered. I don't feel the need to bring it up. 

  

Is there ANYthing we as a family can do for him? My mother is at her wits end in this. She has worked for 13 years for United Way and has researched many programs, but none of them will work unless he goes on his own accord. And he wont. I am ready to hog tie him and drag him to Betty Ford and leave him in their lobby. 

  

Can anyone make a suggestion? 

  

Thank you. 

  

  

I would like to start by saying my 14 year old daughter has had ear infections from 5 months old until about 3 years old.  She had her first and only set of tubes when she was two.  She has had several audiology exams and her hearing has deteriated for the last 7 years.  She has worn digital programmable hearing aides for two years now and in Sept of 05 she had her hearing checked again which by the way is checked yearly, and she has 85% loss in the higher decible ranges.  I wanted to know if anyone else has this condition and what has taken place in your course of treatment.  I know we face the possibility of her losing her hearing at any time and we ( my daughter and I), life could be worse.  God willing she will not have any further hearing loss but it's out of my control all I can do is pray.  Thank you for reading my post and god bless all of you.

My Name is sharon. I have a son who is 19 years old..in the last two years he has been in the hospital 9 times.....been to the emergency room countless times. has had two surgries. The first one was to remove his appedndix but it was fine, the second sugrie was about a month ago , that one was exploritory....they found nothing... he has lost 25 pounds in two months weights only 115. He has severe abdominal pian, and severe vomiting.. white blood sell count very high, pottasium levels drop. has had so many test, but can't seem to find out what is wrong with him. he had this when he was 8 months old. was in the hospital for a weekfor the same symptoms, then again at the age of 10, again same symptoms... doctors didnt know what it was....when he turned 18 it started again, but this time hasent stopped, it slowed down for a couple of months, but for the past 4 months he has been sick enough to be hospitalized 4 times....and in between being in the hospital, he is still sick but, not to where he has to go in again.....the doctors are baffeled....they have not a clue..my son talkes about suicide, he cant handle the pain anymore. just this morning he asked me what i would do if he wasn't here anymore.....that just ripped my heart out...i cant even phythom that thought....please can someone help us.....is anyone even hearing us. I have wrote to Dr. Phil three times now. i am posting this letter...my son is so depressed........we dont ever ask for help....but we need help really bad. i dont know what else to do. i am almost possitive that Dr. Phil and Robin could help us...or anybody who see'e this message. if you could help us i'm sure God will bless you............

Hmmmmm! I haven't posted here before. I have come a long way in 2years. You see when my long awaited little boy was 5months old he had severe brain damage caused by a Mitochondrial disease called Leigh's. My husband and I were devastated. It was too much to handle and some days it still is. My Elijah was dying. Nothing told us or gave us any hope. Matter of fact the doctors went on to tell us that if we decided to have more children that Eli's disease was genetic and could affect future children in the same manner. That week in August two years ago almost took my soul. The one thing that was left was my family. I can't hold us together and when my Eli finally takes his last breath I cannot even say where my mind will be. Really it wasn't thought that he would live this long. You see most children affected as he is usually pass before their second birthday or there soon after. He is completely disabled and relies on me for everything. His G-tube keeps him nourished and well life goes on.  

  

If I would have come here a while ago I was a pile of rubble. Now I am working my way to understanding more about myself so I can go on after my Eli is gone. My husband is angry and I don't know if that will ever change. I can't say what is for sure anymore as I have seen whole lives change in just a few hours.  

  

It is hard to be in my place. I have reached out to all who will listen. I find other parents that are battling the same diseases with their children and sometimes they have more than one. We bond together like GLUE... I guess if one of us was on the journey alone and somehow we found each other now we are walking it together. There are still many ways in which I have to hold myself up. I am working on it. Life is such a strange thing.  

Hi my name is Tammy I have a 22 year old daughter, who has been Miss diagnosed since she was 12. We  have seen Dr after Dr. She also has been in the hospital 7 to eight times this past year. she a couple of OK years were her symptoms were mild.But last year things got real bad ,she was working full time and last DEC she was put on disability I'm glad to say at the moment she is her health seems to be a little better,Until the pain returns. I understand what you are feeling, my daughter has also has spent many weeks depressed closing herself off from everyone ,telling me just cant do it any more .Its one of the hardest things to have to hear when your child tells you they dint want to be here any more. Or when they turn to you for answers and you dint have  one For years the Dr's couldn't figure out what was wrong with my daughter  she has had operation after operation,they took her appendix out,did several exploratory operations they have given us some really silly reasons for all her problems .she has been told by some she just wants attention,she has a mental disorder,what ever is going on they cant really seem to give me any really sound answers .Now she is on several meds,that do help her in a sense get through her days some days are worse than others I was told these meds will cause her organ failure if used over a long period time.Her newest Dr informed us that she we have been dealing with a long history of connective tissue disease. ?????? this is the first we've heard of that. They  say her test show no activity but shes still unpin with more than a handful ofttimes that she deals with on a daily basis.On top of all this my daughter has a beautiful little girl,who is now 4. Its taken a toll on my daughter she cant be the same a she use to be with her little girl my granddaughter thinks the hospital is her Mommy's second home.Anyway I could go on and on but what it comes down to at least for me is Ive learned not to solely depend  on the Dr's .I do alot of researching on my own and try to put the pieces of the puzzle together . Istill dint fully understand I'm not a Dr but in some ways Ive been able to explain why certain things are happening that the Dr's dint take time to explain to us and the more I learn the better prepared  i am when it comes dealing with the Dr's.And always remember no matter what the Dr's may tell you,You know your son better than any of those Dr's,keep trying other Dr's till some one will listen,Is your son on any meads at the time??I hope he is doing better,There are so many other s in the same situation being strong for them is what they need from us and know you cant get through this alone keep asking God to give you strength he really helps.My best to you and your son dint give up!!!!!  Tammy and Jessica

Motor Neruone Disease. 

 

Hi was just wondering if anyone here has had someone they know of who has ended up with this disease?! 

 

My Dad was told early on this year that he had MND or Lou Gehrig's Disease or ALS and even thought he is doing quite well right now I know that one day things will be very different for him and for my family, so if there is anyone here that can give me some information on what life could end up being like for my dear Dad then I would be more than thankful. 

 

Please TAKE CARE, LOVE KELLY.