Topic : Giving and Receiving Support

Well hello i am Stephanie and i am 14 years old. My parents have slip up and i use to live with my mom. My mom abused me very badly! I watched Dr.Phil everyday and he showed me I have to be strong and stand up and fight for what i want! So i called my Dad and told him I am moveing in with you tomorrow while Mom was at work! My Brother Chris and his girlfriend Aspen who are 21 lives with my Dad too. So they helped me move. My Mom had no idea what was going on, so we had to move fast before she came home. We got out of there just in time! When my Mom saw that i was gone she called me and started freeking out! I really didnt care because i was finally safe! It has been about 6 monthes since that happend but i just cant seem to put the past behind me! Everyday i cry because i hate what happend! I just want a whole family! I am a girl, I need my mom! But she will never be there for me, not at my graduation or my wedding! I hope someday she will realize what she has done!! Please someone help me, and tell we what i need to do to let the abuse go!!

You need to talk to your dad and let him know what you are feeling. You can also talk to your guidance councilor at school about this and ask what you can do.   

   

So sorry for what happened to you. Not easy thing to go Thru I bet. Just remember It's not your fault and go out into the world and make yourself proud. You can't control her but you can control yourself and make yourself happy. I know thats hard to think of now but everyday do something to make yourself happy and eventually you will start to feel better.  

It doesn't matter how far you move or how high you climb, there IS a higher power that you can give your grief to if you try. Your husband wouldn't want you in this miserable state, so this is not a tribute to him. Go to a church or YMCA, or Senior Center and find someone to talk to. If you reach out, someone will help you. Give yourself a pat on the back, tell yourself over and over that you are going to be okay, and then take some baby steps reaching out to people in your community. The most important thing to do is take care of YOU.

No, you are NOT in-love with 2 men. If your husband is hitting you, get out now. His epilepsy is not an issue anymore. When that is over and done, then you will be able to think more clearly as to whether or not you are in-love or in-lust with the other man. So, for now, deal with one thing at a time.

 its really hard to deal with the pain,i lost my dad 2 years ago to suicide so i know what its like to lose some1 suddenly and i still to this day have a cry every now and then. i cant tell you that you will get over it because i dont think you ever do,but you do learn to live with it. ievery time i get upset over dad i start to talk to him and say things like"i miss you dad and im trying my best not to be sad" and then i try and focus on a time when things were good some times it works and some times it dont work but the point is you have to keep trying to focus on recovery rather than going down old sadness road. i always try and crack a joke with dad too ,like"when i get up there dad im going to kick your butt and then im going to hug you ?" i try my guts out to have a laugh because its so easy to chose to not laugh . and i know deep down in my heart love,that you husband would be sad if you were sad so the best thing that you could do for yourself is to be happy again ,you deserve to be.like you must admit that its not as bad now as it was when you first found out about your husband things do get better just allow yourself to be happy,you can do it i know you can ,im living proof that life can get better after a loss of a loved one.you will be ok love if you want it to be.hope i was able to help in anyway,from one aussie to another take care keep strong and laugh be happy your husband would want you to be........

Hi all.  I have never done this before, but I feel that if I don't get this all out somewhere I am going to explode. I don't think I am a terrible mother, but I sure feel like I have just lost everything.  I was married when I was 18 and had my 1st child when I was 19.  From the second day of my marriage I was beaten, controled and put down. I stayed for 7 years and had 2 other children during that time.  My children saw the abuse and when we left, my husband almost succeded in killing me.  But thanks to my oldest daughter screaming.... he stopped and the kids and I left.  I worked 2 jobs to try and provide a better life for my children and myself, and whenever my ex was supposed to pick the kids up for his visits and didn't show up, the kids always blamed me.  WHY???  They seemed to idolize him and I was nothing.  Then after  8 year s of him not showing up to get the kids he was there all the time with all these promisesof expensive things for the kids, but only if they would come and live with him. They ignored it at first, but they all eventually left me to live with their father because as he put it,   He could give them a better life than I could ever think of giving them.   Our youngest just graduated from high school this past weekend, and guess what ... I wasn't even acknowledged as his mother..... my ex husbands new wife was.  I know I am just rambling, but I am so hurt and angry.  I feel that I gave my kids everything that I could and it still is not good enough.  Can anyone tell me how to let go of the pain and maybe how to approach my children and see if there is anyway that we can salvage a relationship, or do I have to just cut my losses?????  Please someone reply.  This is killing me inside.  

Kim  

You have a husband,and you are his wife until you get a divorce,or death do you part.This is what is wrong with life today. Couples don't take their vowels seriously,they should read, I will love you until someone else comes alone that I love more than you.How would you feel if the shoe was on the other foot?.My husband left me for alcohol and another woman.Take care of your frist marriage before you start on the second one.

yes i am inlove with two men. no word of a lie. i just don't know what to do right now. i am going for marriage councelling tonight. but yes i am inlove with to men. that is the truth. but the reason why he hit me is because he came from an abusive home. he even knows the other man that i am inlove with. and it isn't lust that i have for the other man it is love. 

please help 

Recently, my grandfather died. He was with my grandmother for 44 years. It was so hard and lonely t not be able to find the right words to say to her. She's a very demanding, yet sensitive woman. I love her with every fiber of my being, but, she doesn't want help from me or any other family member because she thinks that  since we all look up at her so much, that she must not show that she can be vulnerable. I've tried being understanding, nice, and there for her as much as I can, yet, I feel that she needs help beyond me. I see that she's sad and that she feels lonely, but, nothing that I do or say seem to make a difference. I've taken it upon myself to just listen to what she wants and try to do it to the best of my ability so that she doesn't complain. What suggestions would any of you have?

She doesn't want to give up yet.........Let her lead to a point. Just love and do what you think is best.   

   

I just lost my Grandmother in Feb. She was the strongest person I knew. She went so Gracefully and on her terms. I thank God she was at peace when she went. You'd be surprised how much stronger that generation is compared to us.