Topic : Giving and Receiving Support

I have found a website that seems like it could provide a great support system for people in need. It is called Tin Man Moves, and the site is tinmanmoves.com. Check it out, I think you're going to love it. I know I do.

Okay so I'm posting this message to help out a friend I met online about 2 years ago....This is all true and excuse her language that she has used I'm sorry if it offends anyone.  She really needs help getting custody of her son.  The son is in full custody of ex husband and to make matters worse he is not even the biological father.  She is a single mother of a younger son and has no money to afford all these costs.  She needs so much support....and if anyone from Dr. Phil's team is reading this please let him know.  Thanks a lot. 

  

  

HEY  EV1 I NEED  YOUR HELP  AND   ANY TALK SHOW HOSTS N LOCAL  HUMAN INTREST STORY TO ALL TV  STATIONS THAT WILL  TAKE IT THAT  U MIGHT   HAVE  ACCESS TO, 

   HERS  GOES:   ITS BEEN LONG  7 YEARS  GOING ON 8  I'VE BEEN FIGHTING MY EX FOR   CUSTODY OF  MY OLDEST SON, WE  DIVORCED IN 1999 , MY SON WAS  5 ALMOST. I HAD  DCFS  INVOLVED FOR  ONE CASE THAT WAS  ABUSE ALL OTHERS  HAVE BEEN FALSIFIED N KEPT ON RECORD BY DCFS. MY EX  HAS CUSTODY ONLY CAUSE HE  SIGNED  BIRTH PAPERS  KNOWING KID W WASN'T HIS AND IS USING MY PAST MENTAL  HISTORY AGAINST ME, AND  I HAD   PAIN DRUGS  DURING BIRTH OF MY OLDEST SON BACK THEN. I MADE IT  CLEAR TO HIM N ALL PEOPLE INVOLVED IN THE  BIRTH HE WAS  NOT TO SIGN PAPERS. I HAD  A FRIEND IN THE  ROOM DURING DELIVERY, HER NAME  IS  JESSICA DONNELL. SHE'S  MARRIED TO A MILITARY  GUY NAMED PAUL DONNELL AND  THEY  GOT  BACK TO THE STATES  DURING THIS  DIVORCE THEY  WERE STATIONED AT SCOTT  AFB IN 1999. I DON'T KNOW  IF   HE'S STILL IN OK. IF  SO  HE WAS  WITH  THE  1976TH (?) COMMUNICATIONS   COMMAND    AT SATCOM/ HAM OPERATOR I THINK .   AT THE DIVORCE I GOT VISITATION RIGHTS ONLY N  HAD  TO FIGHT FOR EVERY HOLIDAY I DID GET TO SEE  MY SON.   MY SON  HAS  SEEN  ME  HANDCUFFED  BY   BASE POLICE  BACK THEN,  AND KNEW I HAD TO LIVE IN MY CAR EVEN ON A  BASE THAT  IS  SUPPOSED TO  HELP  SPOUSES OF MILITARY MEMBERS ,  I  GOT  NO HELP!!! MY EX  STOLE MY DOG  ALSO  BACK THEN  SHE  WAS A  GIFT TO ME FROM MY PARENTS BUT I COULDN'T LIVE  IN THE  CAR WITH HER WAS THE ONLY REASON I LEFT HER AND ANOTHER DOG BEHIND.  ONE  DOG HAS  SINCE PASSED AWAY. THEY  WERE  MY  FAMILY TOO!!!!!!!!!!   I'VE HAD 5 LAWYERS WHO TOOK MY MONEY  N DID  NOTHING TO GET ME  MY SON BACK, THE LAST  BEING  ERIC RHIEN, IN BELLEVILLE , IL ; HE TOOK MY FRIEND'S MONEY N  DIDN'T DO A THING FOR ME.  THE LAWYER  WHO REALLY  MESSED MY  DIVORCE  UP WITH PROPERTY DIVIDING N CUSTODY WAS TERRY JOHNSON OR JOHNSTON IN O'FALLON , IL IN 1999: I CAN'T FIND ANYTHING ON HIM  IF  HE  STILL PRACTICES LAW  HERE.  AND HE WAS A  CHRISTIAN LAWYER.   AS  OF  2002  THEIR WAS A  2 YEAR ORDER OF PROTECTION AGAINST ME BY MY EX IT EXPIRED ON  FEB OF 2004 AND I STILL  CAN'T HAVE  CONTACT WITH MY SON. I HAVE ANOTHER SON WHO'S  4 NOW, LAST TIME  MY  SONS WERE TOGETHER WAS  2002 WHEN MY  YOUNGEST SON WAS 1 AND MY OLDEST WAS 11!!!  BROTHERS  SHOULD  BE TOGETHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NO MATTER  WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE COURTS HERE ARE  SUPPOSED  TO BE FOR THE KIDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOT THEY LIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! .   WE  BOTH ATTENDED THE  COURT ORDERED  CLASS DURING THE  DIVORCE, HE  NEVER TOOK IT TO HEART.   MY EX IS USING MY PAST MENTAL HISTORY  AGAINST ME AND   BRAIN WASHING THE KID  AGAINST ME EVERY YEAR  SINCE THE DIVORCE.  ONE TIME   HE THREATNED MY SON  IF  HE  GAVE  ME OR MADE ME  SOMETHING FOR  MOTHER'S DAY 2000& 2001 HE'D  BE   PUNISHED.  HE  CAN'T BUY  ME  OR HIS  BROTHER GIFTS  OR CARDS. HE  BROKE  ITEMS OF HIS  BABY BROTHER'S  AND  WAS TOLD HE  DIDN'T HAVE TO REPLACE THEM WITH HIS MONEY OR THE  ( MY EX'S) MONEY.  HE VANDILIZED MY NEIGHBOUR'S   MAILBOX  AND I HAD  TO REPLACE IT . "  IT HAPPENED WHILE  SHE HAD  VISITATION  SHE PAYS , IT IS  HER SON N HER RESPONSIBILITY." HIS OWN  WORDS , NO TEACHING ITS  WRONG PERIOD , HE  PUT ALL THE  BLAME ON ME. NO TEACHING  RESPONSIBILITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NO TEACHING COMPASSION N  MORALS TO MY  OLDEST SON,THAT I  HAD  TAUGHT HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!NO SINCE OF FAMILY VALUES, WHICH HE HAD  BEFORE THE DIVORCE.   HE WAS  STILL BEING  SENT TO AN AFTER SCHOOL DAYCARE  AT 11, WHERE I HAD TO PICK HE  UP DURING MY VISITATIONS. MY EX  WORKED AT THAT TIME  BUT THE  STEP MOTHER WOULD RUN OFF TO HER MOM'S SO SHE  HAD  NO COMPASSION OR RESPONSIBLITY TO MY SON.   " MY SON'S WORDS WERE SHE'D  DO  EVERYTHING NOT TO BE IN CHARGE OF  HIM" SHE   DOESN'T LIKE ME N CALLS ME  NAMES. I COME  HOME FROM  DAYCARE N GO TO MY ROOM, I CAN  ONLY WATCH   WHAT   MY EX  TOLD  HIM TO ON TV AND  I GET  SO  MUCH TIME ON  MY COMPUTER, AND  VIDEO GAMES  I HAD A  TIME  LIMIT FOR  EVERYTHING. I HAD  NO FRIENDS OVER, NEVER  WENT TO OTHER KID'S HOMES.  NO SPORTS LIKE  I HIS MOTHER  HAD HIM IN. I WAS  IN   GYM HOCKEY, SOCCER AND  KARATE BEFORE THE  DIVORCE.   I DID   EVERYTHING WITH MY OLDEST N, AND  WAS SOCCER SNACK PROVIDER. MY EX WAS ONLY HELPING OUT AT   HOCKEY , CAUSE I MADE A  BIG  FUSS  WITH HIS COMMAND AT THAT TIME; BUT HE  STILL WAS ON CALL WITH A  WALKIE- TALKIE. I HAVE ALL OF HIS SPORTS  PICTURES  FOR  PROOF AND   YOU CAN ASK MY SON WHO WAS INVOLVED WITH HIM THE MOST. AS FOR  WITNESSES WELL THEY WERE ALL MILITARY AND  HAVE   MOVED ON.  THE ONLY MAIN  PERSON  WHO  CAN TELL YOU ALL THIS  AND IS THE  BEST WITNESS IS  BERNADETTE WALKER WHO LIVES  NOW IN GEORGIA. SHE  WAS    MY OLDEST SON'S DAYCARE PROVIDER  WHEN I  DID WORK ON THE  BASE WHILE I WAS MARRIED TO MY EX.   I WENT TO ALL OF HIS   TEACHER CONFERENCES , MY EX NEVER WENT TO ONE.  WHEN I WENT IN 1999  , HIS TEACHERS  SAID  HIS  MEDS FOR  ADHD WEREN'T WORKING , HE HAD  BUILT UP INTOLERANCE TO THEM ( CONCERTA AND  DEPOCOT), I SAID  I  DIDN'T HAVE  CONTROL OVER WHAT HE WAS  TAKING OR NOT TAKING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   I HAD  TAUGHT MY SON TO FISH AND  ONLY WITH  MUCH NAGGING  MY EX  TOOK HIM N HE   CAUGHT HIS  FIRST  FISH. THAT IS  DEFINETLY A FATHER SON BOND  THING TO DO, AS  WITH THE  SPORTS. BUT I WAS  THE ONE  INVOLVED AND HAD THAT BOND  WITH MY SON IN ALL OF  HIS  SPORTS AND ACTIVITIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   IF I WAS  SUCH A  THREAT TO MY SON WITH MY ANGER , WHY DO I HAVE  MY YOUNGEST SON WITH ME  SINCE  BIRTH?????????   I AM ORDERED   BY COURTS TO  BE SEEN BY ( OF  COURSE ) A FOREIGNER SHRINK N TAKE MEDS  FOR BI-POLAR DISORDER AND TAKE A  ANGER MANAGEMENT CLASS,  WHICH I CAN'T DO SINCE  HAVING MY YOUNGEST  BECAUSE OF THE  COST AND  NO SITTER, WHICH I'VE  BEEN TRYING TO ATTEND  SINCE  HAVING  MY YOUNGEST BUT HAVE  HAD  NO LUCK IN COMING UP WITH THE   MONEY OR  SITTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I CAN'T EVEN GO BACK TO COURTS  WITHOUT FIRST  ASKING PERMISSION FROM THEM  BY FILING A REQUEST, THEY   EVEN TOOK   THAT  RIGHT I HAVE AS A  CITIZEN FROM ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND ONLY  AFTER I'VE  BEEN TO AND  GOT A LETTER FROM  THE SHRINK STATING MY DISORDER/ CONDITION; MEDS I'VE HAD , IF I'VE  COMPLIED  WITH HIS ORDERS AND  THE CURRANT STATUS OF MY MENTAL HEALTH TO ALL THE  COURTS N  DAMN JUDGE IF I'M FIT TO  BE  A PARENT TO MY OLDEST SON.   THAT  IS ILLEGAL AS  ALL  HELL IN MY BOOKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  HELL I HAVE  CUSTODY OF  MY YOUNGEST  BUT THAT'S NOT GOOD  ENOUGH FOR  THIS  DAMN JUDGE / COURTS.   I ALSO HAD  DCFS N THE   HOME PROVIDER FROM ANOTHER AGENCY IN COURTS  SUBPOENAED TO COURT AND THEY STILL   IGNORED THEM ALSO AS TO MY   MENTAL STABILITY. THEY  TOLD THE TRUTH TO THE COURTS AND JUDGE. THEIR WAS  NO CONFIRMED CASE OF  ABUSE  BY ME OR MY FRIEND I LIVE  WITH TO MY OLDEST SON AS STATED ON  SAID  ORDER OF PROTECTION THAT  WAS ON FILE IN 2002!!!!!!!!!!!! MY EX HAD  MADE MY OLDEST SON LIE IN THE ORDER THAT  I  AND  MY FRIEND HAD FORCE FED HIM FOOD N  SMACKED HIM ENOUGH TO LOSE TEETH  WHICH WERE LOOSE ALREADY, BEFORE  MY VISITATION WITH HIM!!!!!!!!!!!! THE PROPER AUTHORITY  PEOPLE  TOLD THEM   IT DIDN'T HAPPEN, AND WERE IGNORED.   PLEASE HELP ME  ANY WAY U CAN AND   KEEP THIS OUT THERE AS LONG AS  U CAN N KEEP  FORWARDING THIS TO EVY1 U KNOW AS  OFTEN AS U CAN.   CONTACT ME BY EMAIL OR BY PHONE :  JENNA MONROE   WHITEDOVE708@YAHOO.COM   618-233-4659   I WANT MY SON BACK BEFORE  HE'S 18 AND  DRIVING!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY BOYS  SHOULD  BE  TOGETHER!!!!!!!!!!! MY LIL ONE NEEDS  HIS BIG BROTHER IN HIS LIFE, HE HAS  MISSED OUT ON 3 YEARS ALREADY AND  ALL THE  CUTE THINGS   BABIES WILL DO(WALK, TALK, ETC) !!!!!  I NEED HIM ALSO IN MY LIFE HE'S  MY SON NOT MY EX'S !!!!!!!!! NO BIOLOGICAL TIES TO MY EX. I MISS HIM!!!!!!!!!  I WANT HIM BACK BEFORE HE'S 18 TOO, IF THAT HAPPENS I'M GOING TO ASK FOR MONEY COMPENSATION FROM THE EX FOR  ALL THE YEARS HE'S KEPT THIS DAMN CHARADE AND SELFISHNESS GOING ON AND TOOK AWAY FROM ME AND FROM MY 2 SON'S LIVES APART!!!!!!!!!!! AND BELIEVE ME THAT MONEY WILL BE BIG AMOUNT DAMN HIM!!!!!!!!!!   I CAN'T EVEN GIVE HIM HIS B-DAY  OR X-MAS GIFTS FROM THOSE 2 YEARS GOING ON 3 SOON  UNLESS I UN WRAP THEM N DROP THEM OFF AT  THE EX'S LAWYER'S OFFICE I SAID NO F' ING WAY N DROP DEAD . HE'LL GET A BIG DAY WHEN I DO GET HIM BACK  IF I CAN AFFORD IT HE'LL GET   EVERYTHING HE WANTS N  CAN'T HAVE FROM MY EX.

 

  

Don't beat yourself up abt. this.  It's never to late to transfer.  Go for it, it will be the best decision u ever make.  It's never to late...You know it's in your heart and w/God and prayer all will go well.  Keep us posted on ur decision. 

  

I say if ur happy all that is around u will be happy too.  That includes ur family.  But honestly it's ur life and ur doing this for u. 

 Hi I'm Kaylie, and I'm new to the boards.  I mainly joined today because I'm really under a lot of stress, and there's not really anyone who I can turn to.  My problem is this: I've been involved with my current boyfriend for about four years and at the beginning of this year moved all the way from Alabama to Michigan to be with him. We've lived together for eight months and are talking about marriage, but we keep arguing about certain things that really make me question whether or not I should be in this relationship at all.

Before I moved here, I lived with my parents and they wouldn't allow me to do chores or really help out around the house.  I had a job and felt guilty for not helping around the house, but my parents just never taught me or let me help out.  I still didn't even know how to do laundry when I first moved to Michigan.  I wasn't used to keeping a house.  But my boyfriend is a very neat person, and after the first few weeks I was here, instead of talking to me or telling me how he wanted me to take care of the house while he was at work, we got into a huge argument about it and he told me he wasn't sure if he even wanted me here anymore.   Fast forward a few weeks.  I finally buckle down, learn how to do laundry, wash dishes, clean toilets, vacuum, do all the household cores basically.  But then we started having money troubles and my boyfriend got into several arguments with me about me not having a job, accusing me of not wanting or not trying hard enough to get a job.  After a long time of searching, I finally get a part-time job.  Things are fine for a while.  Then he has a problem with the way I eat, saying I eat too much, and I weigh too much.  I am overweight, and it was always a big source of anxiety with me and my boyfriend, because I knew all of his previous girlfriends had been very small.  I tried losing weight, but all our arguments and stress from work either made me eat too much or not feel like exercising.  I had an eating disorder in my early teenage years, and it started up again.  I had to hide it from my boyfriend because I knew he would get angry about it if he found out.

After he criticised my weight and my weight loss efforts, he started criticizing the way I dress.  We stopped being intimate and I started to feel really depressed and undesireable.  When I asked him why, he replied that it was because I don't wear make-up or get dressed the way he likes as much anymore.  He told me the only way he could be sexually attracted to me was if I were wearing make-up and dressed sexily, and then didn't understand and got angry at me when I got upset upon hearing this.

Our next arguement was that he knew I wasn't happy with my current job, and was encouraging me to find a new one.  When I told him not to worry and that I was finally getting used to my new job, he got very upset and told me that I always give up without trying, and I should get a better job because he's tired of being the only one who paid the bills.  I'm still looking for a better job.

He also told me that I've lost one of his favorite things about me: my passion and determination to be a great artist.  He says I don't appear to care about anything anymore, that I'm just a defeated zombie.  I know there is some truth to that, because I live in fear of upsetting him, and I feel like he doesn't value me or support me emotionally.  I've given up on a lot of my dreams so that I can pay bills and devote myself full-time to making him happy.  I feel dead inside sometimes.

Our most recent and one of the worst arguements ever started last night.  I started missing my friends in Alabama, and told him in the hopes that he would comfort me and be my soft place to fall at the end of a hard day.  Instead he got angry, taking me missing my friends as me not being happy with him, and stormed out of the room.  We had a long discussion, and I confronted him with all the things I've changed in order to try and make him happy, but whenever I mention all I've done for him he always says "What? What have you done?"  Like I'm no different than I was eight months ago.  Then when I point out the things I need from him, he just waves me off and says I'm trying to change him.  He gets really childish and immature and never wants to listen to me.  When I told him that all I wanted was someone to not get angry when I'm upset, and to be my soft place to fall when I need it, he just said that I expect too much and I want the moon and the stars, and he takes care of me in ever other way, which he does. But what good is being taken care of physically and materially when you're emotionally starving?

We still haven't resolved this argument.  He called me from work today and we just ended up arguing some more.  He just doesn't care about how I feel on this topic.  He says I'm too needy and I depend on him too much, and I should just handle my own problems like he does.  Then what is the point of even being in a relationship if you can't support each other?  I know my boyfriend has anger issues.  His father was an alcoholic and abused him when he was a teenager, and then suddenly died.  My boyfriend never got a chance to make peace with his father.  He never reacts to anything by being sad or hurt or any other negative emotion; it's always just anger.  He's either happy or angry, there's never anything in between.  He's not abusive or violent, and I know it's important to him to not be like his father, and he hates being angry, but he just doesn't have any idea how to control it.  But at the same time, he refuses help.  I know I've only been talking about the bad things, but please understand, he is a wonderful person.  I'm not defending him.  I know at times the way he treats me and the things he says are completely unacceptable.  But I also know he loves me very much and he's a very sensitive, loving person.  He's just brutally honest and callous sometimes and doesn't know how to go about saying things sometimes, and he doesn't know how to control his anger.  He's my best friend and he makes me so happy in a lot of ways.  I want our relationship to work.  But the things that have been going on lately have really made me doubt.

He's made it very clear to me that he doesn't want to compromise on anything for me, like I've done so much for him.  If that's the case, I just have to end it now because I can't take anymore.  But if there's a way to work through this, then I want to.  I don't believe in giving up on things so easily.  Anyway, thank you for reading all of this.  It really means the world to me that someone somewhere out there cares.

~Kaylie

i am in such a bad state, mentally.  i am a 65 year old who feels like a helpless 7 year old.  i am afraid of any issue that comes my way; real or imagined.  i am impossible for my husband to get along with.  i'm driving him crazy.  my pain of loss and moving and hanging in there after our total loss of home and all belongings is just terrible.  i feel incapable of interacting with any one in a healthy way.  i hurt so bad inside that i can hardly take the pain.  i want to take a pill and go to sleep until the pain is over.  i've always wanted to be strong and sometimes, i can do that but i've always been accused by my brothers as overly emotional, stupid and i know that i say things that are just disgustingly stupid.  those things are all true of me.  i am overly emotional and stupid (ignorant) and say stupid things.  i am taking wellbutrin and klonopin.  i am taking klonopin for ocd which is the only thing that has helped me with tricoltilimania since i was 9 years old.  the wellbutrin enabled me to stop smoking and 6-8 months ago; and also helps with the depression.  because we are moving so much since our loss in pensacola; i am not seeing my psychiatrist of 10 years or any one else.  i am almost immobilized, physically, mentally and emotionally.  certain spiritually. 

Hi. You know what? I read this and my heart went out to you and I thought I have to say something to help this poor woman. I feel saddened by your post.  I think the first thing you have to do is to contact ANY clinical psychologist or someone who will listen and can help you professionally because right now I feel you are in a very desperate state...you really need someone to talk to even though you may have to switch from psychologist to psychologist as you move. I'm very concerned from many of the things you have said. Also, don't forget to contact any of your 800 numbers that can assist you when you are feeling the need to take things too far. I know that sometimes medicines simply stop working. I used to be on anti-depressants and I would start feeling really low and I realized I needed a different medicine. Maybe that's what you need.  

 

Another issue I would like to bring up is how you are running yourself down. You have to realize that the problem lies with your brothers saying things to try to bring you down. You are not stupid. You spell really well and you speak intelligently through here so I know you aren't stupid. The more you say things like that about  yourself , the more you will believe it. Change the way you think. Say..enough of this...my brothers were being verbally abusive when they said that. I am not stupid! I hope this helps in some way. Please let us know how you are doing. I'll say a prayer for you. 

 

Jamrod 

 

dear kaylie, 

  

i don't have any answers for you but, yes! people are out here reading what you wrote and caring. 

  

it took me many years and many "tries" to find the relationship that finally fit -- and looking back, i don't think i can honestly lay claim to any learning curve because it just sort of happened! 

  

but what i can share is this:  because togetherness is precious and worthwhile, working at togetherness is important.  you can't put it off, you can't escape it. 

  

i've heard folks advance various ideas on how to handle relational conflict -- i think dr. phil advocates a kind of active listening, as well as planning [together!] a time and place for talking. 

  

active listening can really illuminate your understanding of your boyfriend, and vice-versa.  it is always a shock to me how much i have assumed to be true, how i have glossed the situation.  there is nothing quite so painful as hearing someone say:  "it's not all about you!"  

  

i only bring it up because it is easy to try and "keep score" when communication is poor -- i mean, what else are you going to do if only one person is talking or if both people are screaming? 

  

no one can tell you if you need to end it.  dr. phil talks about "rule-breakers" and maybe making a mental list of yours would clarify things.  he also mentioned, just today, that "[he'd] rather be healthy alone... than together and sick" -- or something to that effect.  that really speaks to me as a simple, profound notion.  

  

one thing is for sure, though, kaylie!  you cannot thrive on a diet of STRESS!  it will mess up your chances at happiness, your health, everything.  while you're figuring out what to do -- be very good to yourself in terms of exercise, diet, sleep. 

  

i hope it works out for you the way you want it to.  take very good care of yourself. 

be well, profderien 

You need to think about what you want and desire out of life and what makes you happy. I know that you care for this guy and maybe he cares for you but e is emotionally and mentally abusing you and if you stay with him it will not get better. The only way it even has a chance of getting better is for you to stand up for your slef and if you cannot vocally do this then sit down and write hime a letter. Tell him how you feel and why, remind him of everything that you have done to change your ways to make him happy, let him know how trying to please him and getting no where is drainign you and you can no longer take it any more. I would suggest that you find a nother place to stay and figure out what it is that you want in life and even in a mate, does he fit the criteria of what you want in a husabnd and the father of your children. Be real with your self, sometimes we have to let love go to achieve what it is that we want in life, to be happy, I mean REAL happiness. You shouldn't have to stress out trying to be what HE wants you to be, strive for your own goals and what it is that you are meant to be. And if he decides that he wants things to be different then he needs to work at it as well, set the boundaries and don't let him degrade you and manipulate you into thinking that oyu are a nobody, sounds to me like this is what he is doing and maybe it does stm from his childhood and i fthat is the case then he needs to get some professional help in dealing wiotht he issues and learning to love and respect, he sounds controlling and will never be happy in a relationship til he works on himself. You have to take care of you and you deserve to be loved and respected for who you are and you should not have to try to fit a mold that you are not. Have some faith in yourslef and get out and allow your slef to be you, you are not a puppet but a human being, a lady who desrves so much more then what you are receiving.

Kaylie, I'm sorry to hear you are going through such a rough time. I would like to start off by saying that it's important to recognize that what you are going through IS abuse. Abuse comes in all forms and regardless of whether he has good qualites or not, it is what it is and his goodness can never coat the damage abuse can do. It appears you  are locked into a pattern of pleasing him. This concerns me because you can easily completely lose who you are in doing this. I don't want to see that happen. I am so glad he has shown you this side of him "before"  marriage. Most wait until they are sure you are theirs before they show this sort of control.  

 

I almost hated to type that because I know how badly you want this to work, and I am not saying it won't or it can't , but I really think that he needs to seek some sort of help for his problem with control for this to get better. If he didn't agree to his own therapy, maybe couple therapy? I just hate to see you get into a mess. You really do deserve to be treated well and I hope the best for you. Good luck. 

 

jamrod 

I'VE BEEN COMING UP EMPTY I NEED SERIOUS HELP! 

MY DOMESTIC PARTNER HAS A HUGH BOUT WITH DEPRESSION,I KEEP COMING UP EMPTY WITH THINGS TO HELP HER WITH . I NEED A SUPPORT GROUP THAT I CAN ATTEND IN PLANTATION FLORIDA MY FUNDS ARE LIMITED CAN YOU PLEASE HELP ME I'VE SENT DIFFERENT E-MAILS TO DIFFERENT ORGANIZATIONS STILL COME UP EMPTY PLEASE HELP ME I BEG OF YOU. 

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