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Topic : Giving and Receiving Support

Number of Replies: 845
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Created on : Thursday, July 07, 2005, 09:08:39 am
Author : dataimport
What is the best way to support those you love who are coping with depression or grieving a loss? Post your tips and share support with others.

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November 28, 2007, 4:00 pm CST

Stressed in Canada

Hello All!

 

I am so stressed and wish I had a punching bag right now.

 

I moved from NY to Canada when I married my husband and I'm very happy.  However, I am finding myself to be very disappointed in the health community out here.

 

As a woman, I was encouraged and lived by getting my annual pap smear 1 per year and  until I came here 5 years ago, I did.  My doctor in Canada will not give me one and his reason is " you are not promiscuous" 

 

I had to go to emergency and decided to ask the doctor who was seeing me as to how the routine of a pap smear is done her and was advised either yearly or every two years.  I informed him of my situation and he chose to tell my current doctor.

 

Had an appointment today for refills on medication and was approached by the office manager in the waiting room (no other patients there but me and the only other person in the room was the secretary) who told me the hospital was in contact with my doctor and that I would get a pap smear today (advised I could not due to my "monthly") - was told to leave the office and that my refills would not be done.

 

I am so hurt and angry that I just want to scream! I can't believe there is no such thing as doctor/patient confidentiality and that my doctor until being pushed, would not give me a pap smear!  I needed to get this out  of my system and I appreciate anyone who reads this and supports me as I figure out what to do next...

 

Debbie

 
November 28, 2007, 4:05 pm CST

I will talk

Quote From: cinderella34

11/14/07


Hello. I am a 34 yr old female, trying to find a friend to talk to.

I want you to know, I will NEVER devulge my real name or where I live, so please dont ask. Sorry, but thats my boundries.



So if you can deal with that, and  you are a RESPONSIBLE ADULT, then write to me.


 I am at the end of my rope, hanging by a thread.


I am struggling everyday with ....well alot of hard issues, and I cry every single day, and try to forge through it. I only thought I had alot of problems before...but then November of last year my panic attacks got SEVERE, and I have been having problems controlling my balance ever since. I am freightened beyond control. It really stinks. It interfears with all of my daily tasks. And please dont try to scare me with diagnosis, I am FA-REAK-ED OUT enough as it is.



Thank you for your time.


PS. If you believe in GOD, I ask for your prayers, even though you dont know me,  HE does.


Sincerly,


Cinderella34


I don't mind talking if you need someone to listen to.

 

I won't ask any question about name or location and I don't do diagnosis so if you want to chat, I'm here. 

 

I can relate to the panic attacks - have them myself - I hope that they get better for you soon. 

 
November 28, 2007, 9:40 pm CST

Than You

Quote From: snockums1

Hi C34,
I'd love to communicate with you as a friend, if you don't mind an older lady. I forget sometimes just how old I am (57) because I feel inside like about 35!  I don't care what your name is, where you live or what your problems are. We are all in the same boat with problems, just to different degrees.  I do know God is ABLE -- no matter what the problem. I am a Christian and I will pray for you.
 I'm so sorry you are in a bad place right now. I've only had 2 mild panic attacks but that was more than I wanted! I would ask if you have tried yoga type meditation to still your mind? Don't try it without an instructor because you will just get frustrated, I think. Just to be clear, I have not done yoga, but do the progressive relaxation and find it helpful when I can do it. If I'm very depressed, I just can't get my mind there. Hope to hear from you and God bless. I'll be thinking of you.

I really really appreciate the kind words, and sincerely appreciate the prayers, No I dont mind that your 57. Age is just a number to me, it is the person, standards, and morals that matter to me. Yes, I try everyting I can, but I mostly pray and cry, and get mad. I want you to know that I am surprised people care. I am glad that they care. I am really in a very low point, and just try not to sink down lower, somedays thats all I strive for. Sorry,  Im not a very good person to know. I mean Im in the worst place I have evr been and I have been below the bottom of the barrel several times, so Im sorry to seem like a complainer. Becasue I am grateful, This was just a place for me to air some of my bad feelings.

Well thank you.

C34

 

 
November 28, 2007, 9:42 pm CST

thank you deb canada

Quote From: deb02jim

I don't mind talking if you need someone to listen to.

 

I won't ask any question about name or location and I don't do diagnosis so if you want to chat, I'm here. 

 

I can relate to the panic attacks - have them myself - I hope that they get better for you soon. 

I appreciate the kind words and thank you very much.

C34

 
November 29, 2007, 8:34 am CST

Giving and Receiving Support

Quote From: deb02jim

I don't mind talking if you need someone to listen to.

 

I won't ask any question about name or location and I don't do diagnosis so if you want to chat, I'm here. 

 

I can relate to the panic attacks - have them myself - I hope that they get better for you soon. 

hello, i anderstand very much what you are saying, because i suffer the same. it is very god have someone to talk to, and someone that can share this things with me, because it is not easy to talk with someone the now us personaly.

 

if someone want to talk to me please reply

 

kisses***

 
November 29, 2007, 8:38 am CST

support

if someone need some words of support, or just a kind word after a stressful day in work, i am here to help. when i was in very bad mood, depressed i always have good friends that support me, now that i feel just fine, i am here to help someone´s that need.

you can talk about what you want, troubles, stress, or just how the day was!!!

 

kisses

 
December 1, 2007, 7:07 am CST

please help me to help him get through this season

I am engaged to a wonderful man who lost his wife to cancer over 10 years ago during the Christmas holidays.  We love each other very much and have a very open and honest relationship. 

 

He is unable to celebrate this holiday and other significant days and I feel for him and understand to the extent that I am able, but how do I get through it with my own happiness about the season without making it harder for him? 

 

I have 2 older children and would like to keep our own traditions going and involve him in them.  He has done very well on other significant days in the past to keep his emotions in check and I didn't realize how hard it was for him until last night when we had planned on shopping for our families and he became very "hard" all of a sudden.  I didn't realize the impact of it until we came back home and I brought it up so that we could get it out in the open and to let him know that I can deal with it as long as I know what is happening. 

 

He was very open with me about his feelings and letting me see his vulnerability and even though I haven't been through it myself, I am very touched by the love and devotion he felt towards her.  It's one of the reasons for my attraction to him in the first place. 

 

My concern is adding to his already fragile state.  Ultimately, this season for me is about keeping up "traditions" with my own children and extended family, but just as importantly, for my fiancee and I to create our own nice memories of the season and based on our conversation last night, I don't see how that will happen with the grief he is still experiencing.  Any advice or experience with this from anyone here is very much appreciated.

 

Thank you

 
December 2, 2007, 6:51 pm CST

I have some decisions to make and need help

Hi,

     I have many health problems, - spinal injury, bone disease, grand mal epilepsy, severe depression etc the list just goes on and on.

 

I live with chronic pain every day, a lot of it is my own fault because I don't take the medication like I should, but it's morphine and I am so afraid of getting addicted to it, so, I put up with the pain and this makes me so very tired and unable to do anything.  I want my life back but it won't happen. 

 

I have met with my new pain management specialist, he sounds great and has suggested 3 operations on my spine, they cut the nerves that go to the places where most of the pain is, so I would be free of pain, this procedure only lasts 8 months, so every 8 months I would need the operations again, they operate on the 3 sections on the spine, the cervical (neck) throracic (mid) and lumbar (bottom).  The only problem is that I don't have private health insurance, and it's going to be very expensive and very hard to get it because I have pre existing injuries and when I do, IF I do get it, I have to be on it for a year before I can use it.  The operations are major and that also scares me, but to be out of pain would be amazing because I have been like this for 10 years now and my life is so hard, my dear wonderful husband is my full time carer, he does so much for me.  This won't help my epilepsy, but it should lift a lot of the depression because I would be able to do much more.

 

The problem!!   IF the operations don't work, I won't feel anything, it could paralize me, I mean I have to use a walker to get around now and have lost 85% feeling in my left leg and 25% feeling from my right leg but I fight like hell to get around and live as normal as I possibly can.

 

I just feel that if I stay like I am, things will just progress to the point where I will be in a wheel chair because they can't cure my bone disease and my bones are brittle and very very weak and it doesn't take much to break them, even a seizure has broken my ribs and fingers as my seizures are very violent.

 

What choice do I have really?  I either stay the way I am, or, spend more money which my health bills are so high now, I could get private insurance and get more help, or if I stay the way I am, I just have to sit most days because if I move around a lot I risk falling over and breaking bones or damaging my spine even more, I have sciatica aswell and that's very painful and my cervical section is all compacted, which means that it is mainly bone on bone and is so tightly compacted it's like I don't have a neck, you can't tell, but ct scans show it and the lumbar section, I have multiple disc prolapses in both the mid section and the lumbar section and one of the prolapses or discs are so close to the spinal chord that if it touches the spinal chord I will end up in a wheel chair so they won't operate or put a plate in because it's too risky, so to block the nerves is the only option.

 

I am SO SORRY about the long letter but I needed to share this with you.  I can't sit up at a computer so I rely heavily on my laptop as it keeps me in touch with the world.  I have studied psychology and help councel online, I help people with depression and people who have been abused, I love my work and it is wonderful to be able to help people from home on my laptop, I am good at it because I know and understand how these people feel.  My initial spinal injury was caused by an attack,  someone attacked me with a tyre lever on my spine and legs so I wouldn't be able to perform anymore, I used to be a music teacher, and I used to sing and play guitar and had a small band and I loved it, we mainly did charity work to help the local hospital raise money and the Policemans Ball, but we also had paid gigs to pay for the equipment, we used to play around 3 to 4 nights a week which gave me a good income and I was a single mother back then and it helped me emensley, because I could take care of my son through the day and my teaching meant that I was always home when my son was, I loved my life.  Now I don't have a life, it's more of an existance.

 

Shelley xx

 
December 6, 2007, 1:39 am CST

I need a friend

Quote From: martafil

if someone need some words of support, or just a kind word after a stressful day in work, i am here to help. when i was in very bad mood, depressed i always have good friends that support me, now that i feel just fine, i am here to help someone´s that need.

you can talk about what you want, troubles, stress, or just how the day was!!!

 

kisses

Hi Martafil,

                   I suffer depression, a spinal injury and epilepsy and am just going  through a tough time, there is nothing I can put my finger on, I do suffer with chronic pain but because I am afraid of getting addicted to my pain relief I don't use it like i'm supposed to and I know I should, but, they are morphine based.  I do take the Kapanol twice a day like I have to and that should be enough, I refuse to take all the others, I would be just looking for trouble, but life is hard.

 

I love Dr Phil and I would love to  make some friends here and keep up with the message boards but i'm new at it and not really sure what to do.

 

I hope to hear from you again, I do have some posts here, but they were long and no one answered me..

 

Cheers  Shelley.

 

Oh, I'm from Australia

 
December 6, 2007, 1:51 am CST

About Depression

Hi,

     Now, I'm not going to complain, but, how on earth do you tell people you suffer with depression???  The conversation just comes to a hault.  I have a spinal injury, grand mal epilepsy and I can't walk on my own, these things are talked about, but my main issue is my depression because of all my illnesses as I have many to do with a thyroid disease that has caused my spinal problems.  No one understands depression and i'm sure they think you come from another planet or that they might catch it, honestly, I don't know.....

 

My depression is an illness like any other illness, of course my situation makes it worse some days, but I do have a chemical depression of which I take medication for, but some people I have told about it say to me, 'oh, I wouldn't take tablets for it, it just makes it worse' or 'wow, why don't you just cheer up, lets go out one night, that will make you feel better', they just do not understand and that makes you feel more and more alone.

 

Shelleyb2

 

AND, I volunteer and help others with depression online and I love it, but the people we see every day are the ones that just don't understand, perfect strangers do.

 
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