Topic : Giving and Receiving Support

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Created on : Thursday, July 07, 2005, 09:08:39 am
Author : dataimport
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October 26, 2005, 1:05 pm PDT

Indiana's Shame Teardrops for Katelynn

HELP*HELP*HELP*HELP*HELP*HELP*HELP*HELP*HELP*HELP*HELP*HELP*HELP*HELP*HELP*HELP
Indiana's Shame Teardrops for Katelynn:
My little one is being abused by a father and his new wife . The state has overlooked and downright ignores the abuse. THis is in the face of overwhelming evidence that was never admitted in a court despite many to have it reviewed. THere were doctors reports, counselors, child advocates and even photographs of her being abused. THe CPS refused to even act on it even when her doctors and other professionals were calling on behalf of her safety. I am know threatened with jail for trying to protect her even in the face of the fact there are and have never been to my knowledge allegations of any kind of abuse against me .
She was turned over to her abusive father and his wife . Her brother and I have not been allowed to see her or even speak to her in many months. I have lost my savings, my house ,and jobs trying to pay attorney and court costs trying to protect her and finally I face the real possibility of losing my freedom thus leaving her without anyone to fight this unfair system , she and her brother are trapped in, on there behalf. So, I, no we need help. I still believe there are people out there who stand up for what is right and I hope I will find you . I do this for the love of Katelynn 


TEARDROPS FOR KATELYNN:
""Still,
if you will not fight for the right when you can easily win without bloodshed,
if you will not fight when your victory will be sure and not too costly,
you may come to the moment when you will have to fight with all the odds against you and only a precarious chance of survival.
There may even be a worse case.
You may have to fight when there is no hope of victory,
because it is better to perish than live as slaves."
~Winston Churchill 

"Let us therefore brace ourselves to our duties,
and so bear ourselves that if we as a people last for a thousand years, people will still say, 

This was their finest hour!"  

Indiana's Shame the Abuse OF Katelynn:
Partial Chronology
Note : this DOES NOT include 500+ additional pages of evidence an attorney gave me 

1996:
* I separate from abuser after I am assaulted by abuser. 

* Little daughter returned by abuser hurt sees family doctor. 

* Abuser assaults me and kids while trying to abducted little daughter. 

* Police statements taken. 

* Arrest warranted issued for abuser and protection order put in place. Other
court Excludes little daughter from protection order. 

* Abuser arrested outstanding bench warrant found in next county abuser
extradited. 

* Minister of abusers church bails him out. 

* I file for divorce and temporary custody granted to me and restraining order
placed Against abuser little daughter excluded from restraining order. 

* I request Guardian Ad Litem for little daughter. 

* Ad litem submits report recommends abuser visits every weekend. Judge grants
1996: 

* Temporary Order issued 

1998: 

* Letter from Domestic violence counselor abuser refuses contact via phone or in
Person. Court does nothing. 

1999: 

* Little daughter crying of owie in butt from girlfriends son. 

* Little daughter seen by family physician, refers to sexual abuse hospital. 

* Little daughter is seen at sexual abuse hospital. 

* Little daughter returned crying abuser's girlfriend slapped in face, spanked
repeatedly for pottying in pants and is jerked out of bed.
Little daughter seeing child psychologist 

* Little daughter returned crying is hurt when abuser and girlfriend involve
little daughter in domestic violence fight. Abuser and girlfriend separate. 

2001: 

* Little daughter returned home sick, it is winter little daughter has no
outerwear abuser and parents kept. Abuser?s parents refusing to return. 

* Little daughter crying abuser takes little daughter to abuser?s parents house
calls mother dirty names, new girlfriend plays spanking game with little daughter ,
new girlfriend accuses brother of spying. 

* Little daughter crying Abuser's new girlfriend threatens little daughter not
to go near mother, drags little daughter is dragged by shoulder blade across 5
people 

* Sitting in chairs, forced to pray on knees for being bad, threatened mother if
refusal and beatings. 

* Little daughter crying returned by abuser , abuser and girlfriend threatens to
beat her for being bad since they can't force her to pray. 

* Court threatens to give little daughter to abuser if little daughter doesn't?t
go on visits 

* Little daughter threatened to be struck repeatedly by abuser if she doesn't?t
tell Abuser what little daughter told mother.
* I speaks to child protection services about concerns. child protection
services speak Children. Says he can't help. 

* Abuser remarries at wedding little daughter is burned with curling iron on
forearm. burn is blistering, seeping fluid and about an inch and 1/2 long.
And her underwear is removed. 

*Abuser returns little daughter with bruising on upper arm and forearm brother
sees 

* I speak to town police they refuse to get involved. Town police send me to adjoining town. 

* Police statements taken and child protective services open investigation. 

* Within week after child protection service talks to abuser on phone only 

* investigation dropped by child protection services. 


* Child protection worker visits my home. 

* Family doctor makes report to child protection agency against abuser after
doctor Visit regarding abuser. 

* Legal services mails letter stating no funds to help. 

* Little daughter agitated and crying . There is red mark from kneecap to ankle.
Little daughter talks about wife rubbing her butt ?feels like sawing in half?
booby traps, her book of wrongs, taken to another county where wife beats her,
chemicals sprayed in her eyes and more. 

* I report again to child protection services. Little daughter tells worker
herself. 

* Child protection services refuses to help, says they can't get involved since it civil matter. 

* I go to domestic violence shelter. Advocate advises child psychologist,
and keep journal. 

* Little daughter starts therapy with domestic violence recommended. 

* Little daughter returned crying brother no longer welcome for tell child
protection Service worker about abuse. 

2002: 

*Legal services mails letter stating no funds to help. 

* Little daughter agitated and crying . There is red mark from kneecap to
ankle. Little daughter talks about wife rubbing her butt feels like sawing in half?
booby traps, her book of wrongs, taken to another county where wife 

beats her, chemicals sprayed in her eyes and more. 

* I report again to child protection services. Little daughter tells
worker herself. Child protection services refuses to help. 

*I go to domestic violence shelter. Advocate advises child psychologist,
and keep journal. 


* Little daughter starts therapy with child psychologist referred by domestic violence safe house recommends. 

* Little daughter returned crying brother no longer welcome for tell child protection
Service worker about abuse. 

* Little daughter returned crying says she is so hungry. 

* After abuser refuses to bring little daughter home I speak to town
police. Town police refuse to get involved. 

* Little daughter suicidal over book of wrongs wants to die. Little
daughter says she cannot fix all her wrongs little daughter is tired. 

* Abuser's wife tries to run me and children off road. I flee with
children to safe house. 

* Court places Protection order against abuser's wife on behalf of me and
little daughter. Ad litem compels visit on contingency abuser promises to keep
wife not around little daughter. This is not complied with. ad litem doesn't believe. 

*Little daughter's Psychologist goes to child Protection Services with me to
demand casa for little daughter since part of abuse happened in nearby county. 

*Child Protection Agency refuses casa worker for little daughter and
refuses to investigate. 

* Little daughter referred to new woman counselor. 

* New counselor files initial assessment . Summary notes little daughter
suicidal , intensive fear of abuser and adjustment disorder stemming from abuse.
Counselor places little daughter on suicide watch while in safe house. 

* While in safe house ad litem compels me to turn little daughter over to abuser. 

* Abuser promptly forces little daughter to divulge location of safe house,
threatens little daughter with violence, call mother names to little
daughter, picks fingernail polish off little daughters fingers with
abusers fingernails, abuser tells little daughter again child protection agency on his
side. 

* Safe house counselor promptly issues safe phone to me they are
concerned for our safety. 

* Safe house child advocate files statement of little daughter telling
advocate of abuse     

Indiana's Shame A Brother's Cries for Katelynn:
What follows is a little of what her brother can talk about. Brother says other is to painful to talk about know and the the only other eyewitness to her abuse cries to save his baby sister: 

Dear Hero's,
I witnessed my mother face overwhelming odds in gaining justice for my sister.
Most of the law and legal officials in my area refuse to help. You see my sister
is being abused by her father and his new wife. In this area everyone has played
hush-hush, and my sister continue for a while. The court problem arose, when mom
attempted to press charges against him. even with my sister told the CPS and
police what happened nothing happened. You see my sister came back to our house
with 2 bruises about the size of a quarter bruises on her arm, and she said that
her step mommy got mad and picked her up off her feet. I used to think of this
step father as a real father was there. I heard my precious little angel yell
DADDY! He ran in there, I thought that the
father did something to help his daughter. Instead he decided to comfort his
wife. As the abuse went on My sister was told by her grandmother that "If you
don't shut up i'll whip you". Her father even threatened her life. From this her
father decided to file for custody of my sister. After a one sided court battle,
in which the GAL wrote bias reports. On of the courts arguments to give her father Custody was
that i reported the abuse to CPS, and the police. You see I saw this court
attempt and succeed to sacrifice my sister because appearances are deceiving.
Just because you look good doesn't mean you are good. Currently the only thing that can be held against me is my age.While i am currently job hunting and do have a part time job, that won't
enough. The Week that my mother pressed charges that was glossed over. The court also might try to say no because of my race. In the court papers there was a ban put on me seeing my sister while she was forced into foster care. Apparently having the same mom doesn't count.
Also what follows is some of what katelynn's brother saw: My moms marriage to my baby sister father was very rocky. One of the reasons they broke up was because of My older brother. He was very hard on my brother. During the marriage her father was thrown out of the house at least twice
because of what happened to my brother. Her father would often punish my brother
to hard. . Once to punish my brother her father took him to the backyard of our
house and shot his ninja turtles with a bee-bee gun. I watched out the window of
our bedroom. The second to last time her father was thrown out my mother would
only let him come back until he went to counseling with my brother. One visit I
went there and played Mario brothers on the nintendo there. The last time her
father was thrown out was after dinner. On a different night after I ate dinner
I then went to bed in my bunk bed. Yet I couldn't fall asleep. I heard Mom and
her father arguing. My mom said "get your hands off me", "don't throw coffee on
me", "and get out". Around this time they argued a lot so all I did was
listened. I woke up the next morning and he was gone I was shocked, yet I
shouldn't have been. While they were separated this time I went over to see her
father at his mom’s house. At this time I was around 10 or 11 years old, and her
father had been like a father to me. Around this time we moved to a new house
and it had to be fumigated. When this happens we didn't go back into the house
for the rest of the day. My mom for some reason asked if we could stay the night
with her father. Being the true gentleman he was e said no, go live in your car
for all I care. Then one day her father came over and attacked my mom and my
family and tried to take my sister. It started by him coming over. When that
happened my mom told me to go up stairs, yet natured called and i wanted to know
what was going so I watched from the bathroom which wasn't far from the living
room so I listened to them argue some more. The basic argument was that her
father wanted to take my sister from my family and never return. One moment I
looked out and the next moment I look out and her father was bending my moms arm
back while my relatively new born sister was in her other arm. I don't know what
came over me but I went over and tried to restrain him. If I wasn't around ten
at the time I would have succeeded. Yet I didn't her father let go of my moms
arm and bumped his elbow to my face. With this time my mom yelled for my 17 year
old brother. At that time he ran down the stairs but her father was already
waiting for him and clocked him good. While he lay on the ground stunned her
father tried to hit him again. Much to his dismay my mom jumped him to prevent
him from hitting my brother. He stopped and some how ended up near the door
where my older sister came out of nowhere with a broom, and she got him then.
Her father than took the broom away and broke than stormed out. At the time I
watched stunned I couldn't believe what had just happened. I found out later
from reading the papers her father went from there straight to the local police
and told that he came over and attacked my family and that we wouldn't give up
my sister. I went with my sister to her dad. Later after my mom called the
police, first the local, no one came, then she called the county once more no
one came, than she called the state and then the local police came up. They took
a statement from my mom. There was talk of pressing child abuse charges yet my
mom said she didn't want to have my older brother and sister, and myself testify
in court. So she filed charges for attacking her. Then my sister’s father gets
anger management and 2 years non reporting probation. Her father than later
began dating a woman. At first I didn't care. My sister always scratched her
head, so my mom went to the hospital to see what was going on. The doctor told
her that my sister  

 Indiana's Shame A Brother's's Teardrops For Katelynn:
 I am katelynn's brother. katelynn was old enough to talk. Everything revolves around when her father is seeing a woman. It just exploded than. It started with the spanking game. and went on to her coming home with a black eye. They than forgot to feed or feed very much food her on a regular basis. The only reason I know about some of this is because I was there on some of it. I was allowed until my 17th birthday when mom went to the police the first time. I haven't been to see her father sense then ironically it was in toward the end of 2001 and at the beginning of 2002. And as you can see it only got better from their. It evolved to being chased by anyone and everyone and most legal officials and psychologist trying to help her father take her. The thing is looks are deceiving. Just because you look homey doesn't't mean you are. My mom worked hard to support my family and I will always be proud of her for that. Yet I never thought it would be used against her. The thing that strikes me the most is the GAL. In all his reports he writes about everyone but kati's dad and his wife being responsible for her getting hurt while in their care. I never knew it was katelynn's responsibility for her father's wife hurting her. This is in one of the last reports by the GAL. . Pictures and doctors reports tend to argue otherwise on that. Oh!, and there is the excuse that her dad's wife is too small to hurt anyone. She is quite petit, yet unlike katelynn she is fully grown and has her full strength. Naturally I hold Katelynn's dad and his wife in low regard. I don't want to overwhelm you, but this has custody battle has grown to consume this part of my life. I won't stop until katelynn is free! . These people still have katelynn and last time they found out someone was trying to get katelynn away from her father they placed her in foster care for about two months. And they have shown a pension for going after katelynn, and while I want her safe I won't risk her safety at all! The most ironic part is when my mom was married to katelynn's's father, him and I were always together. I was about 5 or 6, and he was the father figure I never had than. And now I am one of the people he despises most. The reason mom divorced him was because he was abusive to my older brother. My mom divorced him and the first custody battle started. And we eventually reached this point. 

Petition that demands Justice for katelynn
http://www.gopetition.com/online/5918.html 

 
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October 26, 2005, 7:44 pm PDT

i need advice

I have an uncle named gary.He has a daughter named stacy,and i found out about 2 months ago,that he has another daughter named christina.Well i just had a baby girl and shes now 4 months.Christina had a baby boy about a month ago.She seemed very nice, and when she held my baby girl,she was very gentle,and sweet with her.I wanted to become close to her,to welcome her more into the family.Because stacy was very jealous,and my family never wanted to be around her,which seemed very weird.So i felt sorry for her,and i was very nice,and talkative to her.When she had her son,the next day she called me for a babysitter.I was very suprised.I saidno @hat she should bond with her baby.I asked her why.and she said because she wanted to go to a movie with her boyfriend.From that day forward it was like she only called me for a babysitter.Well she came down from florida because her babys daddy kicked her out.So she found her dad gary,and asked to move in with him.He said yes.so shes now living here in california.her son isnt growing right.Hes still as much as he weighed when he was born.he has very bad skin,and i was starting to get curious.I found out that shes on meth.I couldn't believe it.Well shes now on her way back to florida with her baby and her older daughter.shes about 5.She can not handle 2 kids,especially her being on drugs.Nobody in my family seems to care about these kids and no one is doing anything about it.So what do i do.Im only 18.And i dont really have an option.Do i turn her in?or call the cops? i need some advice.Please.I want to do something before she leaves on the 15th.
 
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October 27, 2005, 3:37 pm PDT

Does it get easier?

Four years ago my father passed away from brain tumors. He was 49 and I was 20. My dad and I were always very close.  A month prior to his passing I was taking care of him while my mom worked and I discovered due to his suspisious behavior that he was having and affair on my mom who he had been married to for 20 years.  I was completely shocked.  I knew i had to tell my mom but that was one of the hardest decisions ive ever had to make.  He was dying and this was the last of his time on earth, i really didnt want to hurt my mom that way.  But I told her and she was crushed.  We both continued to care for him and I realized that i had to forgive him for what he did before he died or i wouldnt be able to live with myself.  I forgave him but to this day i wonder if i made the right decision.  I made peace with my dad and told him how much I loved him before he died, i like to think it was the 28 tumors in his brain that caused him to choose to have an affair but I just dont know.  It was just his four year anniversary of his death and its still hard everyday.  In addition my mom is remarrying on Saturday so im trying to be happy for her but deep im hurting.  NOt that i dont like the guy just that its not my dad.......Any advice would be appreciated 

Thanks 

 
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October 27, 2005, 3:41 pm PDT

Giving and Receiving Support

Quote From: lucky35

Hi, sometimes when I get kindof anxious (like last night at class, I became overly anxious for class to end so I could go home) I become very hot and my face becomes really red.  Does anyone know what this means? The room was extremely stuffy, so I don't know if I actually just became hot due to the stuffiness of the room or if it is some underlying health reason. Thank you.
Hey there...I dont know for a fact but it sounds like what you are experiencing are panic attacks...Ive been getting them for years.  My heart races i sweat and my face turns beat red and i just want to run away from wherever i am.....Alot of people can control them with deep breathing i personally take medication for them but the bottom line is that its more then likely just in your head and if you learn to talk yourself out of them they will start coming less frequently.  Hope this helped.
 
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October 28, 2005, 9:44 am PDT

Not giving up

 I refuse to give up. I can't, I have to take care of those in my family who can't take care of themselves. I write in my diary and do what I can to get the things off my chest that make me want to puke, really. Cry, yes am doing that now because it is such a relief. I have the support of those friends who understand and the family is just me, me, me and what will we do. I have been the rock always and will withstand all that comes my way. I can do this and will do this again. I have done it before. Yes it gets old but at 52 and having been there before you do it again. Start over and do your personal best. New job, New place to live is the works, Have to sell the dream house. Wasn't much but I hoped to stay here. New job starts in Nov. Daughter home due to have baby in Jan, son lost half social security because of his age, husband 100% disabled. Babies dad in jail, his parents won't help her. She just has to depend on us. We tried to interviene before, but her love for him was just too much to come between and she is disabled too. 3 disabled people in one house and me to deal with everything. They don't cope cause hey, they are sure mom will work things out. She has always. Well here I go again. Superwoman to the rescue. Do I need a break, yes but who cares about what I need. I got my break, between jobs for a month. wow. And now the bills piled up and we can't catch up. New way to deal, give up? Not on your life. I never give up. I will get the power from myself to get through this. I either get with it or else. I got no one to help but thats nothing new. Its my life and I won't let anything stand in my way. Do or die and I ain't ready to die....... get-er-done...!!!!!!!
 
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happy
October 30, 2005, 5:33 am PST

Thank you

Quote From: heather81

Hey there...I dont know for a fact but it sounds like what you are experiencing are panic attacks...Ive been getting them for years.  My heart races i sweat and my face turns beat red and i just want to run away from wherever i am.....Alot of people can control them with deep breathing i personally take medication for them but the bottom line is that its more then likely just in your head and if you learn to talk yourself out of them they will start coming less frequently.  Hope this helped.
It is so funny that you suggested deep breathing exercises because I have been doing that lately. Thanks for your input.
 
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October 30, 2005, 5:35 am PST

medication question

Quote From: heather81

Hey there...I dont know for a fact but it sounds like what you are experiencing are panic attacks...Ive been getting them for years.  My heart races i sweat and my face turns beat red and i just want to run away from wherever i am.....Alot of people can control them with deep breathing i personally take medication for them but the bottom line is that its more then likely just in your head and if you learn to talk yourself out of them they will start coming less frequently.  Hope this helped.
What type of medication do you take and is there any type of medication you can take when you are experiencing a panic attack instead of taking something daily to offset them?  I realize you may not be a doctor, but I was just wondering?
 
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October 31, 2005, 8:08 pm PST

Medication

Quote From: lucky35

What type of medication do you take and is there any type of medication you can take when you are experiencing a panic attack instead of taking something daily to offset them?  I realize you may not be a doctor, but I was just wondering?
For my anxiety I take Celexa it is the best medicine in my opinion for me that is.  Now i have never heard of anything that you take when the panic attack begins but Im sure that you can talk to a doctor and see if there is anything on the market for that.  Just make sure that you do take care of it because sometimes they are hard to control without help.  Thats good that you are doing the deep breathing and even if you just get busy with something else helps the mind from wadering like that.  I know that my very first one was very scary and I even landed in the er several times thinking I was having a heart attack or something.  If you have anymore questiongs just let me know!!!!
 
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November 1, 2005, 8:40 am PST

HELP Need advice!!!!

Ok, first let me say I am new to this so I hope I put this in the right spot and I am doing this correctly, if not please forgive me..... Let me tell you a little about myself, I am married to a wonderful man who has taken in my oldest son (from a previous relationship) and treated him like his own.  He is being the best step dad anyone could ask for. Now Bryan's real dad killed himself last weekend, they were pretty close he saw him every other weekend and Bryan thought he hung the moon. Kenny (the real dad) wasn't the best role model he had a drinking problem that would come and go.(long story) But Bryan still thought the world of him. My delima is how do I tell my 8 yr old son that his daddy is no longer around. (his uncle on his dads side commited suicide about 3 yrs ago and Bryan took that real hard. I didn't tell him that he killed himself just that he had died.) All of my grief is completely for my son no one should have to go through this kinda crap ecspecially an 8 yr old. Any and all comments are welcomed and Thank you in advance.    --Lisa
 
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chillin'
November 1, 2005, 1:34 pm PST

We need more people to support others

People I know you have problems, but hey lets just give others a high 5 and just a little bit of compassion when you visit this site. Read their stories and then think about how you would feel, then atleast say something that you think might make them feel better. Just a note from someone will make them atleast know someone is reading their feelings. Trust me, we all need to know that we are being paid attention too. Thats why we all write, correct? Lets help those who need to know we all care and we are not alone.
 

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