Topic : Giving and Receiving Support

hi all, i am new here and have no idea what i am doing. but anyways, i am here cos' it just feels like so many people in this world are fake, lately i have been in tremendous pain,my teeth are shot, i haven't worked in years cos' of themi use to go out all the time, i use to do magic tricks and hang out with friends all the time,now i just stay home, my teeth are really bad and i fear the poison alone from them is what is really hurting me, i don't know wha to do,,,i have emailed organizations and christians groups that claim a certain faith, but certainly do not act it. am i asking for all someone has, no i am not, but i am asking for some help here so i can get back in the world, i don't have like suicidal thoughts or anything, but i cry alot, i fear my pain and agony makes me the way i am towards my family, i love them but sometimes i am mean to them and they do not deserve that. can anyone help me?

hey, all the time i do stuff like that, i was talking about mister rogers last night, and when i went in theother room, bam, it was on t.v. i do stuff like this all the time, like discuss a movie and like a day later i turn to a station and it is on, shouldn't probably put too much focus into that, i would just go with it, maybe the devil is trying to get ya, i dunno, if it happens for me, it happens, i am not condemming it, i am just saying be careful in what you do with it, are you tired alot? that might have something to do with the brainwaves being on a level where you can pick things up, i am sure it is. there are talks about that in a sleep like state we are more receptive to knowing things with out having any prior knowledge, like when you first wake up, try thinking of things then and see what happens, i read something once about the drum beats of certain monks is the same pattern as our lowest sleep state, strange isn;t it. how would they know that? there are like brainwaves tapes you can buy and stuff, but i have decided not to do that, i try not to put too much focus on that, i dunno, i am just writing here. i hope you the best in whatever you find out and in whatever you choose to do with it.

  So much more than that has happened-Ireally feel it is an energy or spirit thing.  I've had dreams come true-here is one- My father was sick w/emphasyema(sp?)  Anyway, Ihad a dream where my dad was young again,maybe 50 and he was a the dining rioom table putting his tennis shoes on.  Sascha (one of the dogs) rus into the room and jumps on the table runs accross my dad's art supply desk and knocks everything down. Thats pretty much all I can remember.  So about 3-4 days passs.  This one morning my dad is at the table and he looked dead already- we call 911 (this wsas ongoing every few months for about 6 years)  and he goes to the hospital like usual. Well a few days pass dad's not doing well -so uncomfortable he can't even watch T.V. .  So one night my little sister&I  come home and we're there abouit 20 min. when Sascha starts having total sezieres. She ran all over the furniture- knocking down all my dad's art supplies and everything off the dining room table.. My mom had the dog put down.  Next day we're on our way to the hospital and I said to my mom I think dad is not coming back-maybe we should call his friend of 30 years. (they had a "falling out"10 years ago)  I was thinking His friend would want to say bye.  We get there and my dad's friend happens to be there already as a patient in the room right next door.  I'm sure you figured out that my dad died a day later. God it feels great to get this off my chest.  I also had dreams about my son that came true. Alot of stuff happens.  Alot of the time I get freaked out by it if it's the devil(which I doubt) I wish I could get the winning lotto numbers...hahahahaha like that'd ever happen.  Mostly I know about other people but you can't tell them that they act like I have control over this . If I take any psychic tests  I can guess 0 correctly.  I think the best thing to do is what I've been doing-pretend I'm "normal'" that way nobody can say I'm nuttier than gramma's old fruitcake.  I don't really believe in people charging  alot of $$ for this kind of thing,  I think that is bad. All I know is that I cannot figure out  is why  me . My little sister has similar things happening to her right now- shes living on an indian reservation so that's prbably why she suddenly got hit by it too.  anyway my 2 little angels (my kids ) are needing me. byebye- thanks for listening to a crazy person.

  Alot of people are fake, it doesn't make you any less of a person.  I don't know  what to say about this. Not to be nosey, but how old are you?  I figured out that you can't turn back time and the only thing we can control is ourselves-sometimes even that is tricky.  Go to a University dentist where the students work on you.  It still costs $$, but it'd be better than what you're dealing w/ now. If you go to the ER they can refer you to someone.  I'm sorry to hear that you're in pain - I'm 31 I've never had $ for my teeth or insurance when I actually had a problem.  I really feel like people have so much to offer each other- I really think this Dr.Phil has alot of great ways to help people help themselves. Oh yah if there a community health type dentist in your area-sometimes they will take emergencies and charge you according to your income. Generally these are childrens's dentists but, some will take an adult walk-in emergency-you'd definetly end up hanging around there all day waiting.  good luck  everyone has purpose here so take care of yourself!

Hi,
I've been with my fiance for about three years and he's had a history of depression and social anxiety. This anxiety stops him from getting a job, going to therapy appointments, and basically functioning in everyday society. He can play video games all day in his room but as far as getting help or getting a job goes he experiences horrible anxiety and says he wants to die and talks about how he is a disappointment to everyone.

I've supported him and try to be there for them as best I can but I don't know what to do. He actually got a job and last night was his first day, he said he felt extremely depressed and doesn't think he can handle it, but I don't know if he's using it as an excuse or not. I'm a college student and I also help him with his bills which I cannot afford and all I want is for him to make a choice either get professional help or get a job. I know it sounds harsh but its frustrating when he goes to therapy and then just stop because of his anxiety, then complains about how he wishes he was on proper medication. I told him that takes regular therapy so they can figure out what works and what doesn't and different  medications.  It's rare the first medication tried is the one that works.
 He just seems to have an idea that if things are not what he wants them to be, to get up and quit trying. He was never pushed in the right direction as a child and dropped out of high school at the age of 16 because of his depression. He never got beyond his freshman year. He's incredibley smart has an iq of 150 but has no real goals in life.

He is also a former cutter. He started harming himself at nine years old  I believe Not superficially either. He has huge scars, that should have taken him to the er.  He hasn't cut in about four years. He has been abused physically by his mothers boyfriends when he was a child and his mother cared little for him and his brothers when they were young, I believe this could play a role in his self esteem.

I told him he needs to go to the er and just committed at this point because at least in that way he'll be unable to avoid proper therapy and he said he'd rather kill himself than be confined. He also believes he has attention deficit disorder and wants to be on medication for that because he's heard depression and anxiety can be counter symptoms of add and he does have dyslexia and failed to try all throughout his schooling.  No places that test for that disorder are covered by his insurance and so I have no idea what to do.

I have attention deficit disorder and was misdiagnosed as bipolar in the past so I do believe he could have it. I've been on medication for over a year and its helped me tremendously although I do still experience anxiety sometimes but I force myself to do things because I believe things get easier with time and not avoidance. But he claims he is different and that he is much worse, but he's scared of the phone won't call anyone, won't work, isolates himself and believes he's a failure. I need advice please! This is ripping me up inside, I love him more than anything and I just don't know what to do without seeming like the bad guy. :(

I have been with my partner for nearly 5 years, the last few years he's slowly become more and more depressed. I have read a heap of the "How you can help" articles, but I still seem to be makeing no progress. I still get to cranky to quickly. I try to be supportive, but it seems the more I try the more mistakes I make. I just can't seem to find a way to deal with myself. I say to myself that he doesn't mean to be the way he is with me, but I still take everything way to far to heart and inturn he doesn't receive the support he needs from me. I want to find a way to make him see that I want to help him and that I don't want him to go anywhere. He says he can't talk to me because whe he tries I start crying or can't keep my mouth shut. I've tried to sit there and listen, then the tears start or I blurt out something stupid and don't stop. I know it is in no way good for his health and I still do it. For the record I am 29. How do I keep myself in control so he can get better. Thanks for listening :)

 I am writing because I know depression is a problem, my mom says she has it. I am 27yrs and I grow up hearing about depression and people act this way because of it.  Personally, I am tired of it! I guess I just don't get it. You make the decisions in your life, right or wrong, you know what makes you happy and sad, so choose the right decision. Your the only one who can change your life, so do what makes you happy.  I feel like people blame a lot of there problem on depression, it really frustrates me. I am not meaning to sound mean, I guess I just really don't get it. I just wanted to post my feelings.

I have been with a man for 11 years.  I know he is a control freak and only cares about himself TRULY.  I have left the relationship several times, but have not been strong enough or smart enough to stay away.  He controls all the household money, even requesting change and receipts from groceries.  He makes me feel like I am absolutely nothing.  And over the course of those 11 years he has made people believe "i am just crazy"...I freak out and move out or whatever.  Noone knows the real him.  And, since they just see the effect of me leaving they think it is me.  I am always on the defensive.  I am always on eggshells.  And, even though I try to make sure I do all I can so I don't set him off.  He will find something unexspected.  I don't even begin to know who I am anymore or what I want from life.  It seems so unobtainable.  Please give me some advise.  I have noone to talk to.  I am hoping by talking to you all.  I can figure my life out.

I can imagine that you feel lonely with so many people passing away. I'm very sorry that you have to go through all this.  

  

It may feel strange to express your feelings to strangers, but I think if you do, they won't stay strangers to you in the near future. We all had or have our share of problems. That is why we are here: to seek support for the difficult things that happen in our lives.  

  

I'm all ears if you want somebody to talk to. I'm a regular visitor of these boards. I understand that you want your twin sister. Try to think about the very good things the two of you shared together. Try not to concentrate on her death too much. Maybe that slowly helps you to accept her passing away. She will stay in your heart forever. Don't forget that. It's a big loss but you will get over it. 

  

Regards, 

Mikao