Topic : Giving and Receiving Support

I have been married 3 times and they have all ended in divorce.  The men I seem to pick has to have other women while married.  The first one had to go to clubs to watch women , then the other two had to have estra martial affairs.  My last marriage I really cared and loved this man.   He and my so called best friend was having sex not long after we where married.  I did not find out until we where married for about five years.  I confronted him and he said he wasn't.  After a while I had gotten so depressed that I just wanted to die.  So I left and went to a therispt and he went also.  So we tried to work it out again.  It worked for a little while but then he fell back into affairs again.   I left and move away.  I felt as if there was something really wrong with me.  I ended up having an affair with a married man.  He made me feel special and not dirty or disgusting.   I knew this was wrong and I felt that I reach the bottom of the pit so I tried to commit suicide.  As you can see it didn't work.   My daughter wanted me to come and live with her. So I did for about 2 1/2 years .   I have moved back to the area where I had the affair.   I work and visit family.  But just the other day I went on a blind date.   This brought up some serious feelings.  I don't even know how to date anymore.  I'm so very afraid of giving any part of myself to anyone anymore.   As a child I was molested and I know this has some to do with the reaction I have of myself still.

Hello.  I hope someone could help me.  I recently broke up with an old-boyfriend from my past.  I was with him for 6 yr. a long time ago, and then again for 3 more yrs.  Years ago, I left because he couldn't commit.  I gave him 6 yrs. so as not to pressure him.  He never talked about marriage.  He never ask me to go with him to visit his homestate and see his mom.  I guess I gave him the 'either or', but he came over (on the last day I saw him) and just with a angry voice, "come on let's go out and find a ring".  That was the breaking point, because I would never wanted to force him to do anything.  We started dating years after, and basically the same thing happen...He goes back each Thanksgiving, and says he won't take me...because, it's his and his mom's time...I understand that, I'm a mom too...but, she's 94, and I'm afraid I won't ever get the chance.  He said another time, and yet he never talked to me about it...I told him all I wanted was Thanksgiving Day, to spend with her over a meal.  Something, I'll always remember and cherish...Then, he can spend the rest of the time helping her out...He calls it as ONLY a working vacation...and says I don't understand...He takes 1 wk. there, then 1 week recovering...In this relationship too, he's called me the 'b' word, and a few others...(just as bad) when he gets angry...I told him I want him to make an appt. to talk to a counselor, and then I will go with him for the rest...So, far he's not going to do it...I then said well then that's it...He won't talk to me, or even compromise...PLEASE someone help me, so I can go on and be happy...I need some advice, if I did the right thing....Thank-You SO VER MUCH!!

  Hi my name is Debbie , I have recently separated from my husband of 16yrs .although he was very abusive it is very hard for me. I have never really been on my own and alone. Sometimes I feel like know one knows the hurt  or pain that I have to live with even though I know that there are people with stories just like mine . As  I am sure anyone can see that today has been a very bad day for me .I really do want to stay strong and make a better life for myself and my family they worry about me so much.  I am just taking it one day at a time. Always,Debbie                                                                                                                   

I see there is a section for "diseases and illinesses: But no section for syndromes. I like to see one because I have Treacher Collins Syndrome and like to find others with it.

Ok...I have been with my fiance' for 3 years.  We are getting married in a month.  He is a great man...but he is 15 years older than I am.  My parents who are in a bad way...don't care for this.  I am having my bridal shower and my mom still hasn't rsvp-ed (is that a word?).  She has not offered a lick of help to me...her oldest daughter for the wedding.  I am having nightmares and I am starting to have very anxious feelings about this.  What should I do?  This problem goes deep.  I have an animosity toward her for never being there when I was growing up.  My great-grandma raised me.  But she could raise my sisters.  I know that I have issues with her...and I want to get them out...but how do I do that?  Every time I try to talk with her about it...she blames me.  She says that I think that I am too good for them.  I have never felt like I fit in...but I have never thought I was better than anyone.  They don't even have pictures of my 3 kids up on their walls.  This is all over...sorry...but there are soooo many feelings of hurt that I feel.  They are amplified by the fact that MY day is rapidly approaching.  They have my baby sister and her kids for their grand-kids a girl and a boy....granddaughter and grandson.  And now my other sister is expecting, so where are my kids on this list?  I am willing to admit that the phone works both ways...but I feel like they really don't want me there.  I want them to come to my wedding and cause trouble so I can disregard their existence...rather than sit here and have this hurt on my heart....can anyone help?  I don't like feeling like my mom and step-dad are less to me than the millions of people I will probably never know.  Thanks....Leah

 What is treacher collins syndrome? Forgive my ignorance. Maybe a section for cronic illness would be a good thing. I am new here and I posted in the illness section, (I replied to a member who was trying to get more people to post). Kind of ironic though, they wanted newer members to post yet when they do they are ignored, LOL!   Alice

 Hi Leah, congratulations on your upcoming wedding. You said, "I want them to come to my wedding and cause trouble so I can disregard their existence." My opinion, deep inside you want to get this all resolved so you can move on with your life, but this is probably the wrong way to go about it. It is your wedding, should be a happy blessed occasion. Let go of the anger and resentment and choose to not let this spoil your wedding and more important your marriage. You cannot change how they behave, but you can control how you will react. Many blessings and a long happy marriage to you Leah.   Alice

 Taking one day at a time is exactly what I would do. Must be really hard and my heart goes out to you. Hang in there and know too that there are better days ahead.   Alice

 My opinion...if he has to be forced, or talked into marriage odds are the marriage wouldn't work out. Something to think about.