Topic : Giving and Receiving Support

hello. My boyfriend of three years has never gotten over his depression. I've tried to help him numerous times, but it seems like I make it worse. Lately, I've been thinking of dumping him, but he has no friends where he lives. I still care about him, and am trying to get him to do things for himself. I'm getting so frustrated with him, but I still care about him. Because of his constant depression, I don't love him as much as I used to. He says that if I do break up with him, he wouldn't be able to live anymore. If any of you have any ideas, please...PLEASE help me!!

im wonering if your boyfriend has a family? if he has and they are close maybe you should let some1 know that he is not well. and i dont know where you are from but here in australia we have a phoneline you can ring called life line [maybe they have one in the states] its a free help line they would be able to give you some advice on what to do? or maybe if you go to church maybe they might be able to help with advice.but you hould seek help because this maybe bigger than you can handle,and by your message it does sound like you are having a hard time with all of this.

i dont feel the suns coming out today,its stayin` in ,its gonna find another way,as i sit here in this misery,i dont think i`ll ever[no lord] see the sun from here,and oh as i fade away, they`ll all look at me and say,and they`ll say "hey look at him! i`ll never live that way."but thats ok ,they`re just afraid of change. and when you feel life aint worth living you`ve got to stand up and take a look around you look way up to the sky.and when your deepest thoughts are broken,keep on dreaming boy,cause when you stop dreaming its time to die.and as we all play parts of tomorrow,some ways we`ll work and other ways we`ll play.but i know we cant all stay here forever,so i want to write my words on the face of today and then they`ll paint it.and oh as i fade away, they`ll all look at me and say,they`ll say,"hey look at him and where he is these days."when life is hard ,you have to change.............

he lives with his parents and younger brother in a different state than me, and they do know that he has medical depression. he takes medication for it, but he still gets depressed and very lonely. the one thing I'm afraid of is that he told me that before he met me, he was violent. he's been to professional psychiatrists before. its just that some days I love him so much, and other days I just get fed-up with him and frustrated. I still love him, but now its more like a friendly love. he has no confidence in himself, and keeps thinking that he can't do anything worthwile. Like I said, I want him to do things for himself, and not for me. he stays in his room all day and plays PC video games. sometimes it seems his games do more to help him with his depression than I ever do.

My oldest  grandson, now 22, will soon be sentenced to federal prison.  I have no idea how long the sentence will be.  He is a bright, handsome young man who got sucked into the wrong crowd and ended up dabbling in the use and manufacturing of meth.  Although I know that he must be punished for breaking the law because meth has become an epidemic in this country and must be stopped, I and the rest of his family are broken hearted and feeling totally helpless.  He has asked for help in kicking this awful demon and will be sent to rehab for that help but will then be sent to prison.  What can we who love him do to deal with the pain we feel at what he is and will be going through? 

Try to remember this if you want him to stay alive......... He has a chance at least to recover if he takes it. Many don't, I would get him into a religious program. They seem to have the best recoveries that I know of. Your grandson is among many victims of meth. It's not just in the inner cities and many parents need to wake up and realize they could have a meth lab right next door.  

   

   

   

Sorry your family has had this happen. The best thing for him is tough love. Trust me!!  

I noticed that I posted something back in April that I guess people just passed over or I was just too agitated to go from reply 40 to reply 89...I was raped back in april of 2005 and I never really go over it. They've had shows on Dr. Phil for it and I've been recommended, people calling behind my back because they wanted me to get help. I just want to know if it's stupid to grieve over losing my virginity...I can understand heated passion with a lover or husband...but not to a total stranger that even after I said no WOULDN'T stop until he was satisfied. I know there's rapes all over the world but we need help for the ones now...and it seems people think it's just part of life, I almost died because I thought it was my fault I'd gotten raped, I'd been told that I would wear 'whorish' clothing and I don't know about you people but grandma clothing is NOT what I would consider whorish because I couldn't wear women's or teen's because of my chest and other parts of my body. 

  

  

I just need help, if you want to reply back, feel free because I'm on the goddamn breaking point, and I've had rushing thoughts of suicide but never went with them but they're getting worse...if you want to help me out, email the show, or email me at spazzing_psycho_18@yahoo.com I always answer. 

  

Butterfly cuts and candy blood,  

Jill 

hi so sad to hear you are still having problems,all i can tell you love is to seek help from someone who is more qualified they will know what to do ,im sorry i dont have the answers for you i wish i did, and ive been told by some1 on this message board that i shouldnt help or care about any1 as much so im a bit saddened by that comment and its upset me to the point that im unable to have a chat,im sorry if im unhelpful but im human and im sad today

I don't think ironic illinesses will work either. We not sick from it and its not contagious.

Treacher Collins Syndrome, also called mandibulofacial dysostosis, affects the head and face. Characteristics include:  

• down-slanting eyes
• notched lower eyelids
• forward fair in the sideburn area
• underdeveloped, malformed and/or prominent ears

• Most children with Treacher Collins have normal development and intelligence; however, it is  

• underdevelopment or absence of cheekbones and the side wall and floor of the eye socket
• lower jaw is often small and slanting
• important that there be early hearing tests. Most children with Treacher Collins Syndrome benefit from early intervention speech and language programs.

If you like more info on TCS http://www.treachercollins.org/ 

Nobody should ever go thru what you have gone thru. This is not your fault even if you had the sluttiest clothes in the whole world!! Rape is Rape, it is about power not clothes or sex. Who ever is saying that needs an ass kicking cause they don't know what they are talking about.   

   

You grieve how ever you need to. Who cares what others think. There is a point were it your going to have to take your power back and stop letting this guy have it.   

   

Please email Dr. Phil show and ask for help before you break.