Almost 20 yrs. ago now I was with a guy; he was not perfect but we were dating for about 5 yrs. I say he was not perfect because he drank a lot but wasn't mean or anything. A lot happened while we were together and I knew he wasn't going to change, but I needed a change in my life.  
 
I signed up to go into the military and before I left I promised to keep in touch; he didn't want me to go because he was afraid I would marry someone else and he'd never see me again.  
I never did write to him, I think because I was enjoying being out in the world so much. I also met another guy and I eventually married him; we've been married for about 17 yrs. and have a teen aged son.  
 
I lost track of that guy from almost twenty years ago until just this past weekend. I now know where he lives so I have an address and phone number. Now I find myself thinking about him a lot and wondering how he's doing...the thing is, I pretty much left him high and dry all those years ago and I don't know if he would even want to hear from me now. Also, I don't know if he's married now or what, and I know I don't want to interfere with whatever relationship he may have going right now.  
 
Should I write to him or call to see how he's doing? I have no intention of going back to him as I have a family and a good job where I am, and I don't want to mess up his family if he has one, but I feel as though I need to know how he's doing and apologize for what I've done.  
 
As for his drinking, yes, I think he's still at it. I saw in the newspaper on the internet where he was arrested for DUI three yrs. ago. After all this time he's not going to quit till he's good and ready.