Topic : Giving and Receiving Support

I've had my website for 4 years. I personally believe that it helps people a lot. A couple weeks ago, I finally told my family about it. I've never really allowed them to see the real me before because every time I've ever tried to let my parents into my life, I felt like my whole world came crashing down around me. My parents sent me an email that basically did 3 things: 1. wrongfully assumed I was purposefully trying to hurt them 2. used my own words against me and 3. wrongfully assumed that I am currently depressed and suicidal and recommended that I get medicated and see a therapist. I felt insulted. I spoke with my mom about it and cleared up the fact that I'm not depressed or suicidal. This talk didn't really help me any or change my position on anything, but I think my mom really needed it a lot. I think my whole family is in shock for seeing the real me for the first time ever after believing that they had the real me pegged all this time. My older brother isn't responding to my emails. My little brother and my dad have blocked my emails. In these two weeks I've only heard from my mom once, and haven't heard anything else from anyone. I think they're probably mad at me. There's a lot of family history on my site from things that happened before my little brother was born and I'm positive that he's never known about any of it. I'm guessing that he's probably thinking either that I'm not telling the truth about it all or is mad at all of us for not telling him any of this before. He's 16 yrs old. I don't know for sure what's going on with him because he's not talking to me. No one is. I hate the fact that my family has always wanted to sweep everything under the rug and never talk about anything. I feel like I've been banished. I mean we live in different parts of the country, but I still feel like I've become an outcast or something. I know that this is a result of my own actions, but I still don't understand why family is never there when they're soposed to be. I've had this underlying feeling for a very long time that one day I would have to choose between G-d and family, and now I feel like that day is so close that it's breathing down my neck. I feel like this is probably the event that will be the cause. I feel better not keeping this secret, but I knew for a long time that my family finding out about my site would be the mother of all disasters for my relationship with my family.

Hello every body

I have lost a lot of ppl that are really close to me.  But the worst of it all was my Twin Sister.  That has made me really sensitive when ppl die.  I watch a tv program and if somebody dies I get really upsert.

The other day I was watching the cnn news before I went to work.  I never watch the news all weekend so I thought I would watch it to get up with whats going on in the world.  Well thats when I found out that the crocodile hunter died.  I was so upset over that.  Because I always watch the animal planet and thought that he was an interesting man and how he saved so many animals.  Well that was horrible.  I cryed al the way to work.

I just can't get over the fact of ppl dying I guess.  It's going to be something that I'll have to deal with. 

My prayers go out the everybody who has lost a loved one.

Hey Buffy,

I lost my grandmother almost 10 years ago and some days is still feels like it happened yesterday.  She was also like a mother to me when I was young.  I won't give you that crap about time healing wounds and all that, it doesn't.  About the only thing time has given me is the ability to cope with the loss.  The other thing time gave me was a dulling of the pain to a bearable level.  I still miss her terribly everyday, but I can also remember a lot of the good times with small smiles now as well.

She died on my dad's birthday my sophomore year in high school.  I still remember that day vividly.  I don't think I'll ever forget it.  My dad was about to totally break down and lose all control, so I had to step up and be the grown-up for him.  It took me over two years before I could feel anything other than anger.  After that it took me even longer before I could talk about her to anyone without crying my eyes out.

So, yes I know how you feel.  I've been there, I've felt that emptiness inside.  And eventually, slowly, that pain was lessened and became tolerable.  But like I said, that happened to me about 10 years ago.