I am 46yrs old. Mother of two. Happily married for 24 years to the same man. I have grown up with parents that are very negative about alot of things. My mother and I have found a way to get past all the negative atmosphere, this has taken place over the last few years.
My father however, still thinks of his children as complete assholes. I thought for many years that he was an okay guy, but he has within the past five years shown his true colors. One particular event was when he was to invite my two nieces to his home for a visit. He refused to ask my brother if he could bring them, instead he asked my brothers exgirlfriend to bring them to visit. That was very upsetting to me and both of my brothers. My brother has issues, but should be given the opportunity to share the visit with his daughters. Well, the exgirlfriend ended up bringing the children to visit grandpa.
Anyway, days had gone by. You have to know that expressing my feelings to my parents has always been difficult for me. I have always felt that my opinions were not important to them. My father calls on the phone, I really don't have much to say to him. He keeps asking what is my problem, why don't I want to talk? Finally after much proding by him, I express my disappointment in him for not allowing his son the opportunity to bring his daughters for the visit.
Well, as I had expected my father became very angry towards me and called me every name in the book. I was shocked and began to cry and told him that if he couldn't speak to me in an adult fashion, that I didn't have much more to say to him. My sixteen year old son was witness to this conversation, he wasn't on the phone, but walked into the room and saw me crying, and begging my father to stop talking to me that way. My son hung the phone up for me.
Now five years later, we still haven't spoken, his sister, my aunt tells me that I only have one father and I may regret not corresponding with him. Mind you he has made no attempt to contact me in all these years. So I email him. Tell him how his grandchildren are and what is going on in my life. He responds. That was okay. Then two weeks go by and he writes to ask why haven't I responded to his emails, (haven't gotten but one)? Would I tell my brothers Merry XMAS and he doesn't know what my problem is.
Dr. Phil,
How long does one need to be emotionally put through badgering by their father and stepmother. I have responded to let him know how I feel. His wife is getting into the middle to this mess and I am just to the point of never wanting to have a relationship with either of them. Should I just give it to the lord and see what happens? Do I try to convince my father that I am not the evil person he thinks that I am. I'm spent emotionally over this whole thing.
