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Topic : Giving and Receiving Support

Number of Replies: 845
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Created on : Thursday, July 07, 2005, 09:08:39 am
Author : dataimport
What is the best way to support those you love who are coping with depression or grieving a loss? Post your tips and share support with others.

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February 23, 2007, 11:38 am CST

Wanting to help someone

 Hello,

I havent been on this message board for very long and i havent talked much on here either. Im not sure where to post this so im sorry if this is the wrong part of the forum.

My husband and I have been married for about 2 years, and durring this time i noticed that he has some serious self-esteem issues. (Though even before we were married i knew he was depressed) But last night we had a bit of a fight and he said something that made me feel really really useless,uneeded, and various other things of that sort. He hates to make me feel bad and he really took it out on himself last night. It was the first time i ever herd him say that he should commit suicide and that he doesnt deserve to live, because he thinks that he's not worth anything and that all he ever does is hurt people. Now i knew his mother likes to call him things and say things to him to make him feel like crap. But i had no idea that she was doing it when he was a child. She useto tell him that he has no worth in the world and other various insults, a few days ago she even went as far as to say he's not really a man. I love my husband, and i want to help him through his feelings about his mom verbally abusing him. But can I? or should he start going to a doctor for this? I dont want him to feel that he has to prove himself anymore(or want to kill himself), i just want him to be happy.

Thanks for your time.


 
February 27, 2007, 6:22 pm CST

Giving and Receiving Support

hello
 
February 27, 2007, 6:28 pm CST

Giving and Receiving Support

hello

 

this is my first time righting on the message board. i need some help from someone that knows that to do.

 

i feel like i cant control my thoughts, i feel like i;m going crazy. my whole life is about trying to make since out of what as happened in the past and everything even slightly sexual feels like its going to consume me.

 
February 27, 2007, 6:29 pm CST

Giving and Receiving Support

 My love life is in the hole most days i don’t even what to be around anyone because i don’t know who is safe. i fight with my boyfriend daily about things that are sexual, like if he looks at a girl or things he has done in the past like strip clubs. when i look at him all i see is someone that can;t control there sexuality. i scream at him asking why why do you have to look at women why are men so out of control. 

 
February 27, 2007, 6:31 pm CST

Giving and Receiving Support

 i feel like am at the mercy of every man. i;m at the bottom of the food chain. i feel so helpless. my whole world had been consumed  and taken away from me because of man. they made it hard for me to go to school because of there sexual nature and what i see on tv and music videos leaves me hopeless and confirms that my feelings are justified.

 

 
February 27, 2007, 6:31 pm CST

Giving and Receiving Support

what i;m trying to ask is how do i stop my thoughts and fears and get back my life and stop the crying. how do i stop hating my boyfriend and  men because of there sexual nature. How do I stop feeling scared and just enjoy being in a relationship with a man

 
March 5, 2007, 1:26 pm CST

Ask For A Little Help

The first thing I would recommend is to find a therapist to help you.  There are issues that you are having and do not understand.   Feeling insecure, jealousy and anger.  You need someone who can sit down with you and find out where these issues are coming from.  Until you know why you react the way you do, you cannot really change it.  Anyone can say, "I will stop overreacting to jealousy."  But to do so is much harder.  Please talk to someone, before it gets too out of control.  I have seen people become violent because of these issues, and I wouldn't want you to have this happen to you.   I wish you the best of luck.

 

Bless you.

 
March 7, 2007, 7:15 pm CST

Giving and Receiving Support

Hello everyone,

 

I'm Marilyn i'm 21 years old and i live in a situation which i can't handlle.

I'm living with my mom and my extremely abusive 18 years old sister. My sister does everything to ruin our lives she abuses my mom and she always puts me down. When my sister has one of her tantrums all i do is hide because my sister often runs around threatening us with knives. That makes me feel so depressed that i often think of ending my life. I already tried to commit suicide several times. And i know that it doesn't solve anything but i think i'll finally find the rest i'm longing for for such a long time. But because i know it doesn't solve anything now i try to get some support and advice of what to do when my sister has a tantrum like that. What can i do????

 

Greetz Marilyn

 
March 8, 2007, 5:48 am CST

i need urgent help

hell every body,

 

well i really dont know frm where and how to start telling ya my complicated problems, i,m 30 year old non-us honetly i dont know what is my gender some time i feel i,m male and most of the time i feel i,m gay, thats coz we dont have the absolute rites to pratice sex and have gurl friend or what so ever, i born and grew up with muslims and havin gurl friend ,drinkin wine or makein sex is consider as one of the most forbbiden mistake so i dont see it that way and as long as there is some where where freedom of believe and sex is available why dont i ask for help to live where ppl dont have such problems i wanna be some body else so unless ya help me guys i wont be who i wanna be, and honestly livin with muslims and abeyin the islam rules is more than hell , i finally decided to leave islam and muslims i wanna change my believe but i cant do this as long as i still live with them coz there is a punishment for every muslim who wanna leave islam which is cut off a head itz pretty hard punishment thats why i cant do this i honestly wanna have the freedom of choosin my own believe not to believe over ur nose , i wanna live where i dont feel scare frm telling ppl my own view a bout sex and religion or what so ever so i did contact dr,phil to give me support and protection inorder to make this happen coz if muslims learn a bout this they will defintly get me killed coz they call this jihad  and help me find out resloving these problems which i been carring for almost 20 year or my be lil more but it seems like dr phil is just exclusive for native americans or ppl who live in the state, i need ya all really all of ya to start new live with all the new and diffrent  conseptions dr phil help me plz and ya guyz help me i dont wanna be muslim any more i wanna culturized my self read a bout catholic, and christian reigion i wanna choose my own believe not to believe in some thing by force.plz excuse my broken english its my second language

plz help me i cant wait to get ur help

 
March 12, 2007, 8:17 pm CDT

supporting a loved one

Well as always where to start with these things.  I am 28 yrs old, married to my husband for almost two years. It has been the longest; hardest; etc. 2 yrs of my life.  I married my husband after 6 yrs of dating. I love my husband very much. Unfortunately right after our wedding  (5wks) he "snapped" for a lack of a better word. We separated for several months. We then decided to work on our marriage.  I still felt I got married for the right reasons but was now confused with what my husband was going through. I became angry and resentful for his lack of remorse for the things he did to me. When we separated it was very traumatic for me, he was cruel to say the least. I spent many endless nights thinking of things he did to me but knew he was a good person underneath whatever was happening. My husband was abused as a child, I was at the time of our marriage and 3 yrs previous a child protection worker. supporting a system that my husband hated with a god given passion.  I guess there is the first of the my background and to mention my husband was a loving caring person right up to the day I married him . So it's two years later, we have gone to counseling, we have tried to make it work, we have fought uncontrollably at times, I have been abusive (physically, emotionally); he has been emotionally abusive, controlling, and in between all that there were always good times.  Things were going great in opinion since the new year. I  have had my bags packed in my head so many times prior to the new year but decided I wanted this and thought he did too.  After 1 and bit long yr I let my guard down and decided to finally trust in the man I married. He "presented well" and hide his pain from me.  So to any of you who bothered to keep reading this I will get to the point last week my husband attempted suicide and he is currently in inpatient mental health . He has been diagnosed with PTSD re: his family.  I didn't see this coming once again right after I let my guard down and I feel like now that he has done this and sought help "for real" in his words - he feels I should just forgot the last two yrs because he is "getting help and was the problem" his words.  The last 2 yrs have been hell for me, I get he is going through some pretty tough stuff and he needs support. He does not have the support of his family  and few friends. How do I support him yet respect my own need for support and love? How do I just forgot the things he did to me and let my guard down once again? The last two yrs have been hell for me and I just let my guard down again and this happened.  I want to support him yet am still angry at him for so many things.  Just needing to let things out and doubt this makes sense to anyone.
 
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