Topic : Giving and Receiving Support

What would one tell me to do? Get real? What if I am in reality and irreality?

 

To understand me, read every one of my diary entries, then I look forward to what you would say to me and suggest I do. I am really open to whatever you have to say.

Hi my name is leslie and I just wanted to say I am so sorry to hear about your dog I always used to get extremely attached to my pets.  Animals are the best and it's the hardest part of life, saying goodbye to someone we love.  Unfortunately it is a continual part of life either we say goodbye because of death or we just go our separate ways.  I believe this life is short compared to the eternal existence of our spirits, and that when this life is over we will be reunited with all our loved ones including pets.  Every time I have been to someones funeral I have felt their spirit come and say goodbye to me (I am extra sensitive).  Because of this and other things, I know that as hard as this life can be it will all be healed in the end, I really believe that and hope it helps to bring you comfort.  There is sometimes nothing that can be done to change hard situations, you just have to go through the grieving process, but sometimes it does help to have someone to talk to or comfort you.

I goofed my mood up on my last post. It should have been hopeful, but somehow I goofed and it showed up as lazy. I am doing so much better after the two years of my twin being gone. I love sharing memories of her.

One time we were on our way to school. When the bus stopped for one student, there was a turtle crossing the road. She asked the bus driver if she could move it off of the road. He let her get off the bus to move the turtle. It was a snapping turtle and clamped on to her hand, between her thumb and index finger....ouch. She was in so much pain, but glad the turtle wouldn't be ran over on the street. When we got to school we went to the office. They used a pencil and poked the turtle in the butt to make it let go! She was embarrassed, but everyone else involved got a tremendous laugh and learned a good lesson! NEVER pick up a snapping turtle!

I think that we are all precious to the almighty father.  I believe love is never wrong, but the expression of that love can be. Hence, two same sex individuals loving and sharing a life together is not wrong, but being sexually active within that context is a sin.  We have watered down the "sin" factor of so many activities in society today.  Our only purpose on this planet is to give him pleasure, and I doubt he finds pleasure in the abomination of sexual activity (a specifically designed anatomical correct activity reserved for the marital bed).  If you read and believe the bible to be the inspired truth of God, one does not pick and choose which sections are subject to interpretation.  We all have crosses to bear, and I know without doubt the heavenly father tests us, and as Job did,  was subject to almost every tribulation.  I think that being "gay" is just another cross.  We have a choice, we can succumb to behavior that boasts of carnal and base instincts, or elevate ourselves to more pure spiritual level.  Sacrifice is also something the world does not take to well.  It is ashame, many would not be stuck with horrific diseases if they played by Gods rules.

Hi Jeannie, My name is Sheila, 41 yrs. old, from south Alabama.  First, I am sorry for your loss as well.  I am with you all the way on the loss of our mothers.  I lost my mom on, Feb. 18, 2005.  My mom battled colo-rectal cancer for 3 1/2 yrs.  Even though we knew she was going to pass close to the end, you can still never prepare yourself for the upcoming loss of a loved one.  I fight depression and grief everyday/night of my life.  Our little immediate family has scattered since my mom passed.  My dad met this nurse who is 4 yrs. older than me.  The nurse took care of my mom the last 30 days of her life.  Since my mother's death, my dad continued to see this nurse and this past Nov. 2007, they got married.  My sister has gotten caught up in occasional drugs (crack) and drinks heavily at times.  My sister and I have not spoke in about a year.  I don't even know where or how to find her.  My 2 grown boys live 45 mins. from me, and I don't get to see them that often.  I do have a 6 yr. old daughter and a wonderful husband, who is very supportive.  I had major back surgery 6 mos. ago, have insomnia since the surgery, on morphine, and very depressed.  Since Christmas, 2007 up to 6 weeks after.  I have unintended weight loss (That's great)!  I went from a size 8 to a 4 in less than 6 wks.  A part of me feels like it's grievance, or am I following in my mom's footsteps.  My mom had drastic, unintended weight loss too, right before she found out she had colo-rectal cancer.  I'm too afraid to get it checked out.  I know, I should, but don't have the strength or want, to do it.  My main concern, is my grieving and depression seems to get worse, rather than better.  I thought it was getting easier to deal with as time went by, but now, it's done a complete reversal.  I need help and support myself.    Please, give me your imput.  What part of Florida are you in?  I'm in Gulf Shores, AL.  Love to hear from you.  Thanks for listening.              Sheila

 Dear Lulu Marie,

 

 That is so sad. Your sister needs good counselling and may need it for some time. A psychologist  not a psychiatrist  would be beneficial. She must feel devastated and angry at losing her husband for no logical reason. This is just another fine example of the dangers of these drugs. Shrinks think that it is reasonable to risk this type of outcome to feel marginally 'better'. I would be angry at he pharmaceutical company that produced Chantix and the doctor who was not bright enough to look for a safe alternative to drugs.

   Simply talking regularly to a person and getting them out of their home exercising or involved in interesting activities can be enough to defeat depression. Instead doctors who are ill informed by drug companies believe they can 'fix' this problem with these drugs. They work for less than 50% of people who take them.All forms of depression are not simple biochemical disturbance. They have proven that the same group of people taking these drugs who supossedly respond well would respond just the same to a placebo.

  I'm so sorry for your loss and from nothing more than the negligent behaviour of the psychiatric fraternity and their off siders the drug companies. I'm certain your brother -in-law would still be here today had he not been given Chantix it has been associated with many suicides. Would you take an antibiotic or pain killer that could possible lead to suicide ? Yet the medical fraternity expects we should not blame their drugs it is always the patient's 'depression' which is blamed as the cause of suicide. Suicide is not a typical or normal part of depression and we should not be accepting this. When you don't bother to look for a root cause for depression you only mask the problem or worse still make a patient so agitated that suicidal ideation begins. How many more people have to die before we rise up against the psychiatrists and drug companies ?

My 9 now 10 yr old son was raped by our teen 13-14 yr old neighbor.  Pinned down raped and threatened to slit his throat if he told.  We reported it. The rapist admitted to doing it 2x.  My son, ourselves found out really quickly that the Victim has no rights.  Although he was charged with the max of First degree felony...he has never been in jail. NOPE HE WAS RELEASED RIGHT NEXT DOOR... NY law requires that he get counseling or rehablitation so he is 20-30 ft from us wandering around free.  My son is terrified, crying a lot, not eating well, missing school from breakdowns.  We need to move to a new home , relocate asap so my son can feel safe and begin the healing process.  He can't do that when he is crossing paths with, seeing his rapist walk free every day.  His trust, confidence is crushed from being raped and now the police, the system... is crushing him more.  He won't sleep in his rm, it has 3 windows that look right into the rapist rm, the house , the window of where he was raped.  I'm posting this on the message board... PLEASE PUT YOURSELF IN OUR SHOES....IF IT WERE YOUR CHILD.  We have put every thing into this home with plans to make good memories for our son, and reitre here.  My husband is miliatary and has 5yrs left to go...... we have no back up.  This teen has destroyed my son's life forever, he's destroyed us financially......... I need help getting us into a new home so my son can start the healing process.  "if its happening now we need to deal with it now"   WELL ITS HAPPENING NOW... AND IF WE DON'T MOVE NOW, SOME MIRACLE MAJOR HELP NOW.......... PLEASE HELP ME.  PLEASE HELP ME GET Dr. Phil's attention.......

I thought I would try this  because I need to talk to someone .My husband of 17 years has cicchosis of the liver and hepitis c !! This is from a lot of drinking and drug use in his teen years. We have two children , 13 & 16  and I am worried how this will effict them. The Doctor said he might have five years if he is lucky!! He can"t work and we have no Insurance and got a foreclouser notice in the mail today!!! I am a verry religous person and pray constantly. Talking I hope will help. I have sighned up for Oprah"s big Give  but not heard anything , butI still hope she will answere my e mail, I have even ask some of our big corprations one of which my husband has worked for (Danny Lipford ON The Today Show) , I emailed them asking if they had a program  that could help. Any thoughts or incouring info will be greatly taken to heart.

Dear Laura,

 

   I empathize that you feel bad but you and only you can change it at all. You might pray a thousand times a  day that you will be saved from misery but that won't work either. I am not a christian but I believe the universe wills us all to take the reins of our own lives. The depression and anxiety attacks are symptoms of a bigger problem that you have yet to discover and acknowledge.Lexapro might have made you feel slightly better initially but it isn't working for you anymore is it? Medications are bandaid solutions to psychological distress. Without looking into what has happened in your past to lead you to this point and behaviours.

   You would be better served seeing psychologist without prescribing rights. They are likely to teach you practical methods of handling your immediate problems without just medicating them out of consciousness. Try exercise and I mean vigorous exercise.You need to be sweating and unable to speak in sentences for at least 30 mins a day. Start off small and increase it over time. The chemicals your brain releases from exercise are called Endorphins. They are hundreds of times more important and powerful than any other chemical in the brain. I'll bet your prescribing Dr told you that you felt depressed because your brain wasn't producing enough serotonin ? Wrong. If that were actually true wouldn't Lexapro make you feel on top of the world again?  Exercise , plenty of water to drink , a sensible diet of white meats (fish/chicken) small amount of red meat , two serves of fruit a day and five servings (ie five different vegetables) per day; will be far more effective in elevating your mood and losing weight.

   You need to get this aspect under control before you can gain enough perspective to address your relationship and parenting issues. Remember as Dr Phil has often cited 'you are writing on the slate board that is your children's personality , values and morals from the day they are born'. If they only see you miserable and not coping with everyday life situations they will adopt those same maladaptive strategies when faced with the same situations in their lives. They will also remember that ,'Mum didn't really do anything with us when we were kids because she was had no energy from being overweight and that made her depressed and anxious and then we felt guilty that we caused it all to happen.' Again as Dr Phil has quoted in the past kids have an uncanny ability to take the negatives in their paren't's  lives and feel that it is their fault. When this happens thay grow up insecure and self loath. That is how depression and anxiety follows family trees it has nothing to do with genetics.

   If you can't find it within yourself to get real help and put in place the suggested strategies above for yourself then do it for your children. They are suffering more than you are or ever will. they don't have a choice in any of this you do.

 

 

Good luck.

             i HAVE BEEN FIGHTING DEPRESSION AS A RESULT OF LEAVING A VERBALLY ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP.  I AM READING POSITIVE THINKING BOOKS AND TRYING TO FOCUS ON MYSELF, RATHER THAN THE MAN I LEFT.  I THINK IT IS GOOD TO ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR FEELINGS AND IF  YOU NEED TO RELEASE THE ANGER AND HURT IT HELPS.  I TAKE LONG WALKS ON THE BEACH AND TH AT SEEMS TO HELP.  YOU CAN SCREAM YOUR HEAD OFF AND NO ONE WILL HEAR YOU.   I AM ENJOYING WATCHING DR. PHIL AND OPRAH AND ANY OTHER SHOW I WANT.  I WASN'T ALLOWED TO WATCH THOSE PROGRAMS BEFORE.  IT HELPS ME TO READ THESE MESSAGE BOARDS ALSO.