Topic : Competitive Family Relationships

does anyone else have a sister in law that does not like you? 

i have one and  not sure why she doesn't  

and one of my family members gets along with her so well that it is like she takes her side before me 

christmas shopping for example 

we went out to do some and i was getting some things and are limit is $75 

so i had bought 4 things and evidently that was not enough 

so my other family member said that they would pay for it and i could pay them back 

i said no that is enough. 

i am a single mother and usually christmas is about the kids anyway 

am i right? 

well anyway i said no and the other family member said well maybe we should have lowered the limit  

like i could not afford to buy anymore  

i mean one of the items i had bought the sister in law was a crock pot and that was $35 alone  

am i right or am i wrong in thinking this way? 

let me know  

I'm not quite sure if the is the proper catagory but I'm in a bit of a quandry.  I am back with someone I dated over 29 years ago.  I knew his young daughter then and she acepts me now.  My boyfriend was divorced from her mother when she was very young and during his visitations, he'd leave her with his mother.  During the years we were not together, he's never remarried and his daughter has taken over that role.  She is now going through a divoroce and calls him three plus times a day, with questions like "Where are you; why aren't you answering your phone; ...   Even when she's aware we're out of town on a short holiday, she'll call with no particular purpose.  Just checking on him.  The phone starts at 7:30 am and goes on from there.  He makes it worse because he let's her control the conversation and continues to explain himself.  I've told him that he's the parent and doesn't need to answer to her.  He should just fine out what she needs and that's that.  It's wearing on me to a point that I may need to conclude this relationship.  We've kept in touch the entir time we were not together and remained friends, so much that we've decided to spend the rest of out lives together but with this looming problem, I'm not sure.  I explained this to him yesterday and he's going to talk to her and work on it himself.  Any advice? 

I'm not quite sure if the is the proper catagory but I'm in a bit of a quandry.  I am back with someone I dated over 29 years ago.  I knew his young daughter then and she acepts me now.  My boyfriend was divorced from her mother when she was very young and during his visitations, he'd leave her with his mother.  During the years we were not together, he's never remarried and his daughter has taken over that role.  She is now going through a divoroce and calls him three plus times a day, with questions like "Where are you; why aren't you answering your phone; ...   Even when she's aware we're out of town on a short holiday, she'll call with no particular purpose.  Just checking on him.  The phone starts at 7:30 am and goes on from there.  He makes it worse because he let's her control the conversation and continues to explain himself.  I've told him that he's the parent and doesn't need to answer to her.  He should just fine out what she needs and that's that.  It's wearing on me to a point that I may need to conclude this relationship.  We've kept in touch the entir time we were not together and remained friends, so much that we've decided to spend the rest of out lives together but with this looming problem, I'm not sure.  I explained this to him yesterday and he's going to talk to her and work on it himself.  Any advice? 

I highly recommend reading "Delivered From Distraction" by Dr. Ed. Hallowell 

His daughter has control issues! 

He is allowing his daughter to harrass him, though. You said that you talked about this yesterday, does he understand and agree with your point of view? What is his perception of his relationship with his daughter and her constant calling? Is he willing to draw the line with her, or does he make excuses for her behavior? 

Its wonderful that his daughter accepts you, because that is very important. However, there needs to be clear boundaries, and it sounds like your boyfriend hasn't been very clear with her. He needs to be specific when he talks to her about what he needs from her. They can still enjoy a close, loving and supportive relationship, she doesn't need to know what he's doing, and there is NO reason for him to be explaining his decisions to her. I wish you the best of luck with this issue! Remember, sometimes you've just got to "let go"... this is annoying to you, but, its an issue between him and his daughter. You've spoken your opinion, and now the ball is in his court. He has to be willing to make changes.