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Topic : Competitive Family Relationships

Number of Replies: 395
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Thursday, July 07, 2005, 09:13:13 am
Author : dataimport
Does someone in your family always have to one-up you? Or are you tired of watching your family members try to outdo one another?

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January 21, 2006, 1:29 pm CST

Dysfunction!

Quote From: mstephens

I have a sister-in-law that loves to gossip and cause problems .she will not admit that she is wrong .my husban and i have been married for 6 years and now my husbans familey will not speak to us.they have disowend there own son over her lies and gossip. When she would call me I would tell her I dont know that person to say anything about them; but know she has everything twisted that i said this and that. His brother slept with his wife before  during and after there marriage. She told him after we were married. He will not admit it but my husband always felt it ,My mother-in-law says it is my husband fault because of the type of lady he picked. My sister-in-law is saying that i have told everyone about this, i have not That is my husban I would never tell that. Then she said i have told everyone she had an abortion i didnt even know that , till i was acussed of it thats when my husbands father said The lies have started a family fued They said i am crazy but cant see what their daughter has started . so we are at blame . I never told her familey what she has said about them ever. and still wont. My husban fight about this all the time it is distroing our family  what can we do his mom said he is out of the family and out of there will . but what is a will . family is more important then some stupid will

I don't understand what you are saying in the situation described in your post :  

"His brother slept with his wife before  during and after there marriage. She told him after we were married. He will not admit it but my husband always felt it ,My mother-in-law says it is my husband fault because of the type of lady he picked. My sister-in-law is saying that i have told everyone about this, i have not That is my husban I would never tell that." 

 His brother being who, your husband's brother? Whatever the situation is, it sounds like your in-laws are toxic! They are not willing to admit that your SIL has any faults or has any blame to take for not getting along with you because you are the "outsider"... In other words, they have always been comfortable with their own dysfunction, and they aren't interested in changing anything... they are only interested in keeping themselves withing their comfort zones. You have a chance to have a happy and healthy relationship with your husband if you can stay away from his toxic, dysfunctional family, is that possible? When you say that your husband and you fight about this all the time, exactly what are you fighting about? Does he want to be around they chaos and dysfunction, does he make excuses for them? If he does, this is because he has always been around it- this is how he was raised. I highly suggest marriage counceling!! Do you want to save your marriage? It takes two people. He has to be willing to take accountability where he should. 

 
January 22, 2006, 6:09 am CST

sister-in-law

Quote From: jenoc99

I don't understand what you are saying in the situation described in your post :  

"His brother slept with his wife before  during and after there marriage. She told him after we were married. He will not admit it but my husband always felt it ,My mother-in-law says it is my husband fault because of the type of lady he picked. My sister-in-law is saying that i have told everyone about this, i have not That is my husban I would never tell that." 

 His brother being who, your husband's brother? Whatever the situation is, it sounds like your in-laws are toxic! They are not willing to admit that your SIL has any faults or has any blame to take for not getting along with you because you are the "outsider"... In other words, they have always been comfortable with their own dysfunction, and they aren't interested in changing anything... they are only interested in keeping themselves withing their comfort zones. You have a chance to have a happy and healthy relationship with your husband if you can stay away from his toxic, dysfunctional family, is that possible? When you say that your husband and you fight about this all the time, exactly what are you fighting about? Does he want to be around they chaos and dysfunction, does he make excuses for them? If he does, this is because he has always been around it- this is how he was raised. I highly suggest marriage counceling!! Do you want to save your marriage? It takes two people. He has to be willing to take accountability where he should. 

yes my husbans brother slept with his wife before during and after there marriage. it was spread around town,that i know noone in that town.My sisyer-in-law told people in that town but i am to take the blame .like we did something wrong;I didnt make him sleep with her i didnt even know any of them. I love my husban very much .I dont understand how a mother or father could choose sides over there kids. I have 2 kids 15years and 14 years . I am 40 years old and i do like games . I told my husban i will never have anything to do with them. My-in-laws told him to apoligize to his sister or else . His sister has tried to breah up ever relationship of his but i will not give mine up for her or anyone.we have made alot of changes we no longer go around his side of the family but his g-pa and g-pa wants this to stop he sees what is going on and even tells us to stay away. He told my in-laws i am the best thing tthat ever happend to his g-son.i am unable to spell very well so bear with me please
 
January 27, 2006, 1:49 pm CST

Is my new husband's family worth divorcing over?

This is my first time married and my husband's family is quite the trouble making kind.  They do not see anything wrong with their dependent and controlling behavior.  I am very independent and caring.  But I just can't bring myself to committ to his family in any way due to their manipulating and controlling ways that they continue to hold over my husband's head. 

  

They are very needy and cannot do anything for themselves.  They constantly talk down about everyone.   

  

My husband changed dramatically and almost overnight when we met.  They still have not accepted his new self.  They continue to remind me that he is not the person I married.  I refuse to see them or talk to them.  Every time I have made sincere attempts to get along they always find a way to bring up his past or cry about how they need his help with money, etc.  He feels obligated to give as he had always done in the past.  He holds out but they continue to pound away like they have nothing better to do until my husband and I end up in an argument and we always do.  He has told them numerous times to stop it because it is causing problems but then they pour it on even more.  They do not respect his new life and family, but yet they want me to conform.  It is a stand off. 

  

How do I get along?   

 
February 1, 2006, 11:01 am CST

Getting along

Quote From: ourlives

This is my first time married and my husband's family is quite the trouble making kind.  They do not see anything wrong with their dependent and controlling behavior.  I am very independent and caring.  But I just can't bring myself to committ to his family in any way due to their manipulating and controlling ways that they continue to hold over my husband's head. 

  

They are very needy and cannot do anything for themselves.  They constantly talk down about everyone.   

  

My husband changed dramatically and almost overnight when we met.  They still have not accepted his new self.  They continue to remind me that he is not the person I married.  I refuse to see them or talk to them.  Every time I have made sincere attempts to get along they always find a way to bring up his past or cry about how they need his help with money, etc.  He feels obligated to give as he had always done in the past.  He holds out but they continue to pound away like they have nothing better to do until my husband and I end up in an argument and we always do.  He has told them numerous times to stop it because it is causing problems but then they pour it on even more.  They do not respect his new life and family, but yet they want me to conform.  It is a stand off. 

  

How do I get along?   

I don't think there is a way to get along with people like your inlaws. They don't realize how manipulating and controling they are, because thats the way they have always been. That is also the reason why your husband continues to play into their manipulations, its because he always has, its like a bad habit he doesn't even know he has. When he gives them what they want/need, it is the same as handing over his personal power. I'm sure that there is a part of him that, when he gives them what they want, is hoping that they will be kinder towards him and you... however, thats not in their game plan!! Their plan is to complain until they get their needs met, since that is what they have always done. Remind your husband that he is a human, he isn't an ATM machine. What happens when he can't give them financial help? Do they ignore him or become mean towards him? I think its very sad that he might feel he is basicaly buying affection from his family. My advice is to distance yourselves as much as possible, it sounds like that is what you have been doing already. The fact that your husband has changed is a good thing, its too bad that they can't see it that way. The reason they don't see it that way is because now they can't play out their games and manipulations the way they did in the past. its all about them and their needs- its not about you or him. I know it hurts you to see him be hurt, and it must hurt him to feel so hurt and unaccepted by his family, but remember that none of this is about him or you, its all about them. They are self centered and selfish, they don't want to see how they might be affecting someone else's life, even if its hurtful. I recomend the book "toxic in-laws" by Susan Forward, that book changed my life! You will never regret getting it. Its easy to read and you can easily start putting up boundaries with the suggestions in the book. I wish you the best, keep your head held high!!
 
February 1, 2006, 1:06 pm CST

Competitive Family Relationships

Quote From: jenoc99

I don't think there is a way to get along with people like your inlaws. They don't realize how manipulating and controling they are, because thats the way they have always been. That is also the reason why your husband continues to play into their manipulations, its because he always has, its like a bad habit he doesn't even know he has. When he gives them what they want/need, it is the same as handing over his personal power. I'm sure that there is a part of him that, when he gives them what they want, is hoping that they will be kinder towards him and you... however, thats not in their game plan!! Their plan is to complain until they get their needs met, since that is what they have always done. Remind your husband that he is a human, he isn't an ATM machine. What happens when he can't give them financial help? Do they ignore him or become mean towards him? I think its very sad that he might feel he is basicaly buying affection from his family. My advice is to distance yourselves as much as possible, it sounds like that is what you have been doing already. The fact that your husband has changed is a good thing, its too bad that they can't see it that way. The reason they don't see it that way is because now they can't play out their games and manipulations the way they did in the past. its all about them and their needs- its not about you or him. I know it hurts you to see him be hurt, and it must hurt him to feel so hurt and unaccepted by his family, but remember that none of this is about him or you, its all about them. They are self centered and selfish, they don't want to see how they might be affecting someone else's life, even if its hurtful. I recomend the book "toxic in-laws" by Susan Forward, that book changed my life! You will never regret getting it. Its easy to read and you can easily start putting up boundaries with the suggestions in the book. I wish you the best, keep your head held high!!

Thanks for your advice.  I had my husband read your reply and it brought him to tears.  He has heard the same from me during many of our disagreements on this subject and most of the time his reply was denial.   He would say that it is his family that makes these problems not him which has allowed him to not deal with the issue or accept the truth on a number of occassions, as you know, allows the problem to go on.   

  

His hopes would be that someday we can all get along.   

  

Thanks again for taking the time to help! 

 
February 3, 2006, 10:37 pm CST

hatred

okay hear goes, i hate my crazy little brother, he is a malitive little brat, and he is 31 yrs old, he has my mom under his total control, because he dont  wanna get a job, he is still saying he is crazy, and she is believing him, and paying for his physo drugs, which are about $300.00 a month, she is old and needs to retire like most people do at her age(70) but she is still working so hard for him, and she hasnt talked to me or my sis, since november! i hate this, can someone help me to understand this!!
 
February 10, 2006, 2:14 pm CST

WHO CARES WHAT HAPPENS TO ME?

SINCE I WAS A LITTLE GIRL I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN HELPING MY MOM OUT WITH MY 3 YOUNGER SIBLINGS THROUGH HER DEPRESSION AND SEPERATION WITH MY FATHER. HE HAD CHEATED ON MY MOM AND HIT HER ( ALL OF WHICH I WITNESSED ) AND ALL THAT HAS MADE IT DIFFICULT FOR ME TO HAVE A RELATIONSHIP OF MY OWN. MY PARENTS HAVE SINCE GOT BACK TOGETHER AND FATHER CHANGED FOR THE BETTER.  RECENTLY, SHE FOUND OUT THAT I HAVE CUTTING MYSELF SINCE I WAS 14 YEARS OLD..ALL THE EMOTIONAL STRESS OF THE PAST FEW YEARS HAS MADE ME THINK OF KILLING MYSELF..I HAVE HAD AT LEAST 3 I GUESS BREAKDOWNS INCLUDING ONE AT WORK .I SINCE HAVE HAD TO TAKE MEDICAL LEAVE AS REQUESTED BY MY FAMILY DOCTOR TO TREAT MY DEPRESSION. MY DOCTOR ASKED FOR HER TO MAKE MY APPOINTMENTS SINCE I HAVE FAILED TO MAKE CONTACT WITH A THERAPIST. MY MOM HAS NOT MADE ANY ATTEMPT TO GET ME HELP BECAUSE SHE FEELS THAT IT IS JUST A PHASE AND IS ALL MY BOYFRIENDS FAULT. MY BOYFRIEND HAS HELPED ME THROUGH SO MUCH ALREADY. A LOT OF WHICH I CAN'T WRITE ABOUT. MY MOM HAS TOLD MY ENTIRE FAMILY THAT HE IS THE CAUSE OF MY DEPRESSION AND NOW THEY ARE ALLAGAINST THE RELATIONSHIP AND TRYING TO SET ME UP WITH SOMEONE ELSE. THEY CONDONE ME CHEATING ON HIM, WHICH I HAVE NEVER DONE AND WILL NEVER DO. I FEEL SO HELPLESS AND ALONE BECAUSE NOONE SEEMS TO THINK THAT I AM REALLY HURTING AND THAT WHAT THEY DO IS AFFECTING ME GETTING BETTER.  MY PARENTS ARE FORCING ME TO RETURN TO WORK AND PAY BILLS AT OUR HOUSE WHILE MY 18YEAR OLD SISTER IS GOING OUT OF CONTROL AND HAS NO RESPONSABILITIES AT HOME. TODAY WE HAD A FAMILY TRIP PLANNED FOR THE WEEKEND BUT ME AND MY BROTHER ARE LEFT AT HOME SO MY SISTER'S BOYFREIND CAN ATTEND. I AM ON ANTIDEPRESSANTS AND BARELY HAVE ENOUGH ENERGY TO TAKE CARE OF MYSELF. I CAN NOT KEEP TAKING CARE OF OTHER PEOPLE IF I CAN'T EVEN TAKE CARE OF MYSELF. I REALLY NEED ADVICE AS TO WHAT I SHOULD DO..
 
February 10, 2006, 4:49 pm CST

Focus on you

Quote From: beth8403

SINCE I WAS A LITTLE GIRL I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN HELPING MY MOM OUT WITH MY 3 YOUNGER SIBLINGS THROUGH HER DEPRESSION AND SEPERATION WITH MY FATHER. HE HAD CHEATED ON MY MOM AND HIT HER ( ALL OF WHICH I WITNESSED ) AND ALL THAT HAS MADE IT DIFFICULT FOR ME TO HAVE A RELATIONSHIP OF MY OWN. MY PARENTS HAVE SINCE GOT BACK TOGETHER AND FATHER CHANGED FOR THE BETTER.  RECENTLY, SHE FOUND OUT THAT I HAVE CUTTING MYSELF SINCE I WAS 14 YEARS OLD..ALL THE EMOTIONAL STRESS OF THE PAST FEW YEARS HAS MADE ME THINK OF KILLING MYSELF..I HAVE HAD AT LEAST 3 I GUESS BREAKDOWNS INCLUDING ONE AT WORK .I SINCE HAVE HAD TO TAKE MEDICAL LEAVE AS REQUESTED BY MY FAMILY DOCTOR TO TREAT MY DEPRESSION. MY DOCTOR ASKED FOR HER TO MAKE MY APPOINTMENTS SINCE I HAVE FAILED TO MAKE CONTACT WITH A THERAPIST. MY MOM HAS NOT MADE ANY ATTEMPT TO GET ME HELP BECAUSE SHE FEELS THAT IT IS JUST A PHASE AND IS ALL MY BOYFRIENDS FAULT. MY BOYFRIEND HAS HELPED ME THROUGH SO MUCH ALREADY. A LOT OF WHICH I CAN'T WRITE ABOUT. MY MOM HAS TOLD MY ENTIRE FAMILY THAT HE IS THE CAUSE OF MY DEPRESSION AND NOW THEY ARE ALLAGAINST THE RELATIONSHIP AND TRYING TO SET ME UP WITH SOMEONE ELSE. THEY CONDONE ME CHEATING ON HIM, WHICH I HAVE NEVER DONE AND WILL NEVER DO. I FEEL SO HELPLESS AND ALONE BECAUSE NOONE SEEMS TO THINK THAT I AM REALLY HURTING AND THAT WHAT THEY DO IS AFFECTING ME GETTING BETTER.  MY PARENTS ARE FORCING ME TO RETURN TO WORK AND PAY BILLS AT OUR HOUSE WHILE MY 18YEAR OLD SISTER IS GOING OUT OF CONTROL AND HAS NO RESPONSABILITIES AT HOME. TODAY WE HAD A FAMILY TRIP PLANNED FOR THE WEEKEND BUT ME AND MY BROTHER ARE LEFT AT HOME SO MY SISTER'S BOYFREIND CAN ATTEND. I AM ON ANTIDEPRESSANTS AND BARELY HAVE ENOUGH ENERGY TO TAKE CARE OF MYSELF. I CAN NOT KEEP TAKING CARE OF OTHER PEOPLE IF I CAN'T EVEN TAKE CARE OF MYSELF. I REALLY NEED ADVICE AS TO WHAT I SHOULD DO..

First I want to tell you, you just took a step for yourself.  You took a big step by comming to the message board and seeking advice / help. That is good and that is the "first step". You do need help for yourself and only "you" can do it, not your mom or anyone else. The first step is the hardest, and you took it. With that being said, I want you to know, that you, your life, is worth something. God has a plan for you. Believe it or not. Try hard not to harm yourself, you dont deserve that. Why? Because you are worth something. You are here for a reason. You know in your heart what is the cause of your depression, reguardless of what others may think. No one knows you better, but you. Do you think maybe your anti-depressants may not be the one you need? Maybe you need another type so you can have energy so you can take care of you. I have fought depression myself. I know how you feel. But what I learned is, no one else knows how I feel because they are not in my shoes. If your family is bringing you down, can you stay with your b-friend? You dont need negativity in your life right now, you need positivity. Think positive. Think, "I will get better and I am going to get better for me"! If you are not ready to go back to work, dont do it yet, you might have another relaspe. You need your energy, your health, your strength in order to get better. You can do this. If you have to, write yourself a note to remind you to call your therapist. When you wake in the morning, go for a walk to clear your head and  breathe the fresh air. Keep in mind, you are fixing to take the second step, and that is working on you, to get out of the gloomy mood of depression, and have a spiritual mood of joy. Do this for you. Not only by doing this are you getting more energy for yourself, but you are also changing the way you think as you walk. Think about happy things. The sun shining, the birds singing, the colors of Gods creation. He did this for you too. You deserve happiness too. I have also learned that only "I" can make myself happy or sad. It is up to me. Dont cheat yourself out of your own life. Enjoy it and savor every minute of it. For life is too short. Dont pay attention to what they say about you or your b-friend. You both know each other, obviously, your family doesnt know either of you. Things will get better for you, justs have faith. Maybe join some support groups. That helped me also. I am very familiar with the cutting, suicide, and depression. I was once there, now I am here. Blessings to you. 

 
February 11, 2006, 1:59 pm CST

Depression

Quote From: beth8403

SINCE I WAS A LITTLE GIRL I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN HELPING MY MOM OUT WITH MY 3 YOUNGER SIBLINGS THROUGH HER DEPRESSION AND SEPERATION WITH MY FATHER. HE HAD CHEATED ON MY MOM AND HIT HER ( ALL OF WHICH I WITNESSED ) AND ALL THAT HAS MADE IT DIFFICULT FOR ME TO HAVE A RELATIONSHIP OF MY OWN. MY PARENTS HAVE SINCE GOT BACK TOGETHER AND FATHER CHANGED FOR THE BETTER.  RECENTLY, SHE FOUND OUT THAT I HAVE CUTTING MYSELF SINCE I WAS 14 YEARS OLD..ALL THE EMOTIONAL STRESS OF THE PAST FEW YEARS HAS MADE ME THINK OF KILLING MYSELF..I HAVE HAD AT LEAST 3 I GUESS BREAKDOWNS INCLUDING ONE AT WORK .I SINCE HAVE HAD TO TAKE MEDICAL LEAVE AS REQUESTED BY MY FAMILY DOCTOR TO TREAT MY DEPRESSION. MY DOCTOR ASKED FOR HER TO MAKE MY APPOINTMENTS SINCE I HAVE FAILED TO MAKE CONTACT WITH A THERAPIST. MY MOM HAS NOT MADE ANY ATTEMPT TO GET ME HELP BECAUSE SHE FEELS THAT IT IS JUST A PHASE AND IS ALL MY BOYFRIENDS FAULT. MY BOYFRIEND HAS HELPED ME THROUGH SO MUCH ALREADY. A LOT OF WHICH I CAN'T WRITE ABOUT. MY MOM HAS TOLD MY ENTIRE FAMILY THAT HE IS THE CAUSE OF MY DEPRESSION AND NOW THEY ARE ALLAGAINST THE RELATIONSHIP AND TRYING TO SET ME UP WITH SOMEONE ELSE. THEY CONDONE ME CHEATING ON HIM, WHICH I HAVE NEVER DONE AND WILL NEVER DO. I FEEL SO HELPLESS AND ALONE BECAUSE NOONE SEEMS TO THINK THAT I AM REALLY HURTING AND THAT WHAT THEY DO IS AFFECTING ME GETTING BETTER.  MY PARENTS ARE FORCING ME TO RETURN TO WORK AND PAY BILLS AT OUR HOUSE WHILE MY 18YEAR OLD SISTER IS GOING OUT OF CONTROL AND HAS NO RESPONSABILITIES AT HOME. TODAY WE HAD A FAMILY TRIP PLANNED FOR THE WEEKEND BUT ME AND MY BROTHER ARE LEFT AT HOME SO MY SISTER'S BOYFREIND CAN ATTEND. I AM ON ANTIDEPRESSANTS AND BARELY HAVE ENOUGH ENERGY TO TAKE CARE OF MYSELF. I CAN NOT KEEP TAKING CARE OF OTHER PEOPLE IF I CAN'T EVEN TAKE CARE OF MYSELF. I REALLY NEED ADVICE AS TO WHAT I SHOULD DO..

Depression is a real and serious disorder that can change a person's whole life- as you already know. It sounds like you don't have the amount of support that you need at this time in your life, this must be very difficult for you.  

If you are on antidepressants yet still don't have energy, I suggest calling your dr. to let him/her know about that. There are so many types of antidepressants, sometimes a person has to try a few different kinds before they find the one that works for them. I know that it can be overwhelming, but the best person to care for your emotional well-being would be you at this point in life. There is nothing so big that it is worth killing yourself. You deserve to be happy and to enjoy a fullfilling life! 

I know that when people say negative things about you and/or your boyfriend that it makes you upset, but you've got to learn how to not allow their opinions affect you in such negative ways- its like giving them your personal power. You are the only one who should have control over how you feel. It doesn't matter who says what, you are in control of YOU. Starting today, do what lifts up your spirits and take care of yourself. 

 
February 11, 2006, 7:11 pm CST

Hi Beth8403

Quote From: beth8403

SINCE I WAS A LITTLE GIRL I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN HELPING MY MOM OUT WITH MY 3 YOUNGER SIBLINGS THROUGH HER DEPRESSION AND SEPERATION WITH MY FATHER. HE HAD CHEATED ON MY MOM AND HIT HER ( ALL OF WHICH I WITNESSED ) AND ALL THAT HAS MADE IT DIFFICULT FOR ME TO HAVE A RELATIONSHIP OF MY OWN. MY PARENTS HAVE SINCE GOT BACK TOGETHER AND FATHER CHANGED FOR THE BETTER.  RECENTLY, SHE FOUND OUT THAT I HAVE CUTTING MYSELF SINCE I WAS 14 YEARS OLD..ALL THE EMOTIONAL STRESS OF THE PAST FEW YEARS HAS MADE ME THINK OF KILLING MYSELF..I HAVE HAD AT LEAST 3 I GUESS BREAKDOWNS INCLUDING ONE AT WORK .I SINCE HAVE HAD TO TAKE MEDICAL LEAVE AS REQUESTED BY MY FAMILY DOCTOR TO TREAT MY DEPRESSION. MY DOCTOR ASKED FOR HER TO MAKE MY APPOINTMENTS SINCE I HAVE FAILED TO MAKE CONTACT WITH A THERAPIST. MY MOM HAS NOT MADE ANY ATTEMPT TO GET ME HELP BECAUSE SHE FEELS THAT IT IS JUST A PHASE AND IS ALL MY BOYFRIENDS FAULT. MY BOYFRIEND HAS HELPED ME THROUGH SO MUCH ALREADY. A LOT OF WHICH I CAN'T WRITE ABOUT. MY MOM HAS TOLD MY ENTIRE FAMILY THAT HE IS THE CAUSE OF MY DEPRESSION AND NOW THEY ARE ALLAGAINST THE RELATIONSHIP AND TRYING TO SET ME UP WITH SOMEONE ELSE. THEY CONDONE ME CHEATING ON HIM, WHICH I HAVE NEVER DONE AND WILL NEVER DO. I FEEL SO HELPLESS AND ALONE BECAUSE NOONE SEEMS TO THINK THAT I AM REALLY HURTING AND THAT WHAT THEY DO IS AFFECTING ME GETTING BETTER.  MY PARENTS ARE FORCING ME TO RETURN TO WORK AND PAY BILLS AT OUR HOUSE WHILE MY 18YEAR OLD SISTER IS GOING OUT OF CONTROL AND HAS NO RESPONSABILITIES AT HOME. TODAY WE HAD A FAMILY TRIP PLANNED FOR THE WEEKEND BUT ME AND MY BROTHER ARE LEFT AT HOME SO MY SISTER'S BOYFREIND CAN ATTEND. I AM ON ANTIDEPRESSANTS AND BARELY HAVE ENOUGH ENERGY TO TAKE CARE OF MYSELF. I CAN NOT KEEP TAKING CARE OF OTHER PEOPLE IF I CAN'T EVEN TAKE CARE OF MYSELF. I REALLY NEED ADVICE AS TO WHAT I SHOULD DO..
How old are you?  You certainly have been carrying a heavy burden for a very long time.  And I can understand why you would feel so helpless and alone... but you're not.  Many people seek support and encouragement through support groups and forums.  Besides this thread, I'm sure you noticed the one on depression, etc., which you may find helpful.  Also, the search engine in the upper right hand corner will provide other resources for you.  It's important not to be isolated... even if you don't feel like it, you need to connect with a support system every day.  And I'm sure your family Dr. would want to know how you're doing, so why don't you call for an appointment Monday a.m.  I'd suggest you make the call for an appointment with the therapist  then also.  Just take it one day at a time.  A big hug for you.   
 
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