Topic : 09/03 Who's the Evil-Doer?

It was actually funny how that was explained, won't say anymore than that.

You're probably right, its the labour day weekend and school starts soon, besides after all summer of reruns I was also beginning to lose hope.

It'll be nice though to have a new episode to discuss.

Both of these MILs make dealing with my ex-MIL (who more than insinuated that my then-husband's & my child was not her son's, and about whose mental health I have wondered for YEARS) seem like a walk in the park!! But I digress.

 

I can't comment much on the 1st segment, as I missed most of it. However, the 2nd one (Phyllis/Tim/Vivian) -- Whoa!! At the very least, she is a poor actress and a master manipulator; at most, she may truly have some sort of mental illness -- she seems to have no idea what she has said and done, or the possible consequences that could arise from it.

 

Sad. 

"Funny" -- humorous or strange?

 

As the segment progressed, that "explanation" seemed more strange than humorous. By the conclusion, I think I buy it about as much as I buy most of Phyllis' other "explanations" and denials.

 

This is very disturbing to think a mother would be involved in her sons sexual relationships.  This is disgusting and at what point should she be banned from his life completely!  I would suggest this man and his wife and child find a life away from this woman and teach their children a respectable and healthy life.

sorry funny strange, though I admit a strange sense of amusement , I kept thinking about that swampland in Florida or the Brooklyn Bridge and how everyone wants to sell it, but seriously, that woman had more things going on than just that obsession with her son.

I guess for me, it was the fact that her DIL admitted to the world what she had said and done, gave her credibility, the MIL had none with all her protestations of ill health (she'll probably outlive them all ), and complete innocence and that selective memory of hers.

Seemed really strange to me though that anyone even from a distance would "MISTAKE" her for a wife or girlfriend, sorry she looks like his MOTHER, not too bad for her age, but she certainly dosen't look thirty something, and she didn't appear too ill.

It TOTALLY drove me crazy the whole time my husband and I were watching this that Dr. Phil wouldn't say BI-POLAR!  It was TOTALLY obvious that at LEAST the 2nd mother-in-law was suffering from it.  The made up illnesses she "suffers" from, the lack of memory of all the things she's done, etc.  My husband and I were just watching and making ALL the references to his mother because WE could have been on that show.  My MIL is Bi-Polar along with a few other mental illnesses thrown in for good measure. 

 

Those of us that marry into this type of crap try for years to figure out what WE are doing wrong until we figure out that it's a mental issue.  There is no history of mental illness in my family, so I had NOTHING to go off of when I married into this 14 years ago.  We stopped seeing my in-laws when our daughter was around 5 YO.  We let them see her a few times when she was around 9 YO, but then quickly realized that it was the same 'ol crap over and over and my husband didn't want his daughter having to deal with what HE did growing up.  So we haven't seen them in about 3 years.  They only live 15 minutes away.  It's really tragic, but in the long run just way better for OUR family.  I don't really care about my MIL's feelings anymore because I tried a million times to make it work and she would self-destruct every time, but that's Bi-Polar for ya.....especially when you don't take meds because "you're NOT crazy"!

I'm very dissapointed with your evil motherinlaw stories today. I wrote to you several months ago, explaining my situation. But, I didn't have a trashy story. I never got a response. I got along very well with my son's girl, for quite a long time, until the wedding was being planned. Then I was being treated as a 5th grader with responses to situations. My son's wife is a grade school teacher and very meticulous with details. To make a long story short after being told by her how to raise my other son (he was 23 at the time) to being scolded for not having my invitation list in on time (6 months before) I had a shower for them, which she wanted my son to open the gifts, because it was "HIS SHOWER" and she was very snobby to all the guests who were meeting her for the first time. It finally came down to an argument that I told her what evereyone thought of her at the shower and that she was a disgrase to the family... so I was not able to attend my first born's wedding, even after apologizing for my opart in thew arguement. I was told it wasnt sincere. Only I could be wrong! After 3 1/2 years they are finally having a baby. No relationship... and when I contacted my son to seeif he still accepts me as a mother.. welll I was again scolded for going behind her back. I was reminded that "he is her husband now!" So when we tried to make amends, at a meeting with my ex and his wife, my son and the daughterinlaw, and me, I was first told...Being a mother is a priveledge and that I need to earn my child's respect.... To make a long story shorter, she didn't want to let me even know about the pregnancy, and is worried I will say negative stuff about her to the child. I was told I was forgiven, but have not heard from them since(a couple of months ago) and I was told she doesnt forget WORDS. Oh...did I mention, Her parents had to disinvolve themselves with her father's parents, years ago because they are "disfunctional"
I do have a step grandaughter that I get to spend all my grandma time with.. I am heartbroken that I probably will never know my first grandchild. But I do not rock the boat, I say what I am supposed to say, and I listen to what her opinions are. (I do not express mine) My son has been forced to make a choice. A mother you can always return to, but sever your relationship with your mate... it is done.
I am truly crushed within my soul, with the whole situation, especilally that everything I have dreamt of becoming a grandma, will never come true.

You are not alone, believe me. In my situation, it is my daughters who are not having any contact with me. I left their abusive father almost 9 1/2 years ago and it has been that way ever since. They didn't speak to me at all until my father died at the end of the first year after I left their father. My oldest daughter and my now son-in-law actually lied to me about the pregnancy several times. I wasn't there when their daughter was born and didn't see her for the first time until she was  almost  2 1/2. I mean NO CONTACT and they live 2 miles from me. I actually had to co-sign a loan for them to have any contact with them and since I am not so-signing another loan, once again we have no contact. I have had exactly 4 months of friendly contact with my youngest daughter in 9 YEARS. She and her husband are, however, friendly with my ex. I don't even have any idea where she is and haven't seen her in 3 or 4 years. Her sister won't even tell me if she is OK. I have to CONSTANTLY be aware that if I have contact with them, they may force me to have contact with their father who doesn't treat me very well.

 

I just don't get it. When I became legally blind after I left their father I divorced him, cleaned up my credit, bought a house, and went back to school to get a Master's degree in Social Work, which I did, in the classroom with mt sighted classmates and at their pace, and graduated in December with a 3.69 cumulative GPA-while neither one of my girls were speaking to me. And I STILL can't figure out why they don't.

 

You are REALLY not alone.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I get VERY grossed out by mothers that cannot let go of their sons. They are having a romantic relationship with them in their minds just without the sex. They don't want to ADMIT thats what is going on but I seriously find it disturbing that so many mothers in todays society will not LET GO of their sons. You raise children to be independant so they can go out in the world and function. You do not raise children to live with you the rest of your life to fill some emotional void that you have. Children are NOT there to fix your emotional issues. Why is that so hard for woman to understand? I am lucky to have a wonderful MIL. I was blessed with a caring gentle MIL. I have dealt with a nutso mother before in a prior relationship. Not many people can match the stories I have of the things she did. I was glad to give him back to her thats for sure! Mothers LET GO of your sons they are grown men with their own families quit the SICK thoughts and stop trying to ruin their lives. Why is that SO hard?

ITA, she didn't seem to be suffering too terribly with her alleged "MS." (BTW, I actually KNOW someone who has had the disease for about a decade -- although she is better than she was, I guarantee you she is in NO shape to appear on national TV!!).

 

Think Phyllis does have some FL swampland she's willing to sell? LOL

 

The ill health card sounds familiar -- my BIL's mother professes to have myriad health problems, including, coincidentally, MS. BIL's mother, too, is an incredibly manipulative witch and further likes to play her sons against each other. My sis was all in her good graces, until the MIL got crossed about something fairly minor. This was about 10 years ago, and they hardly travel over there (she has been to their house an half-dozen times, tops, in the last decade), just b/c this woman's manipulation and drama scenes are so stressful on them and their kids.