Quote From: nightangel1282There were a few negative responses to my first post, and I understand I might sound a little harsh. Now, one of you asked if I have any children, and the answer is a flat out NO. And neither do I WANT any. Not because I don't particularily LIKE children, but because I've watched my sister with her three (not to mention watching her go through the miracle of childbirth), and I just have no interest in having children of my own. However, I have my own experiences growing up, watching my father discipline my siblings (and being on the receiving end of discipline myself), and babysat other people's children and witnessed THEIR idea of discipline to form my own OPINIONS on the issue. These are only OPINIONS and I'm not saying that I'm right and that everyone else is wrong. Everyone has their own personal experiences to fall back on, and I am merely explaining the reasons behind my own personal beliefs and opinions.
A few years ago, I was babysitting a family friends four children, and I had them down in the play area in the basement watching a movie. The oldest was a twelve year old girl, then her eight year old sister, her five year old brother, and then a four year old brother. The eight year old and four year old were sitting beside me on the couch watching the movie happily, and the twelve year old and five year old were behind the couch playing with their toys. In the middle of the movie, I suddenly hear the five year old screaming for her sister to please stop at the top of his lungs, I jumped up and looked over the back of the couch, and saw the oldest child BEATING on her brother with a METAL CHAIR LEG!!! I was over that couch, snatched away the chair leg and was trying to check on the younger of the two while the oldest was screaming at me and trying to get a hold of her brother again. I told her to go to her room and she very defiantly screamed that she didn't have to do what I said because I wasn't her mother. I told the second oldest to stay down there with her brothers and to try and calm her brother down until I got back. I told the oldest to go to her room or I was going to pick her up and haul her there myself, she told me 'NO!!!', so I picked her up and dragged her up the stairs (she was kicking, screaming, biting and calling me every name in the book the entire way), shoved her into her room, and had to hold the door closed as she was banging, clawing and kicking it from the other side, and still cursing a blue streak. After about ten minutes she quieted down, and I ran downstairs again. I checked on the 5 yr old, and found that he only had a few bruises and decided that since the parents were going to be home in less than an hour that I'd wait for them to come home, check over their son (the father is a paramedic), and take care of disciplining their daughter for her borderline psychotic behavior. However, when they got home and I told them what she did to her brother, the mother just went to their daughter and gave her a lecture as if she was telling a toddler why she couldn't have a cookie!!!! "You know, sweetie, you shouldn't do things like that to your brother. You wouldn't want to hurt him, now, would you?" That girl is over eighteen now, is out partying, doing drugs, and the parents suspect she's even prostituting herself!! And they're wondering where they went WRONG!!!!
Then on the other side of the coin, my brother was left to take care of me and my sister while my parents were out when we were kids. He was 13, my sister was 9, and I was 8. While my parents were gone, my brother decided he was going to 'play' by taking a butcher knife out of the kitchen drawer, and chasing me and my sister around the house!!!! We locked ourselves in the bathroom and stayed in there until our parents got home (our brother had gotten tired of waiting for us to come out and was watching TV). When our Dad came in, he asked why we were hiding in the bathroom and we told him what our brother had done. My dad's reaction was immediate. He went over, grabbed our brother by the arm, brought him over to me and my sister, backhanded him none to gently, and then forced him to get down on his knees and BEG us for forgiveness. He told him that only psycho's act that way, and he was NOT under any circumstances, put up with ANY of his children behaving in such a way. He's NEVER done anything remotely like that again to ANYONE. Now, did my brother grow up traumitized from this experience? NO!!!! In fact, he's happily and peacefully married, with a child of his own.
You may think my father was a little harsh in his punishment, but he raised us with the philosophy of tough love. Extreme behaviors need extreme discipline (my father's philosophy, not mine, so please don't burn me for that one. And if the day ever DOES come that I decide to have chlidren of my own, I have no intentions whatsoever in using the strap like my father used to, although spanking will be a viable option in my books for extreme behavior)
And please remember, I did NOT say it is ALWAYS the parents fault. There are other factors that could easily contribute to violent behavior in children. ADHD, along with other chemical imbalances and factors that nobody has any control over.
Also, remember, these are only experiences that have helped me form my own OPINION on violent children, and I am by no means saying I am absolutely right, neither am I saying any of you are wrong. We have yet to see the show, after all, so I can make no conclusions about THOSE cases until Tuesday.
Believe it or not,normal kids do some crazy things sometimes. I guess the key word is "sometimes". (Once in a blue moon, so to speak) I think human nature plays a part in things sometimes. With the kids on the show,evidently this is going on daily. I wanted to tell you that, for me, wanting to have children,was note based on any outside stimuli. I just reached an age when I wanted a child. It came from within me, a deep yearning. I was married and did go on to have and raise 2 children. But I think that I would have had that yearning even if I'd been single. (I don't know that I would have acted on it.) I'm not trying to say anything negative about you not wanting children. I understand that some people don't want kids. On the other subject of kids doing crazy things, in my family, one of my brothers hit the other one in the head with a hoe on one occasion when we were kids. (They were arguing but still....) In my husband's family , one of his brothers hit him in the back of the head with a sharp object when they were kids. When my son was elementary school age, he had a friend over once. I looked outside and they were hurling rocks at each other. I intervened and made them stop. My son said, "Mom, we're not mad at each other. We're just playing." Of course, I made them stop. I explained that someone could get hurt. I think that with the kids who are going to be on the show, this is an everyday (or often) occurence that is interfering with thier lives.
Exploding anger, brutal attacks, death threats. Perhaps this sounds like the behavior of a hardened criminal. But what happens when such violent rages come from your own child? Kevin and Jean say their 10-year-old son, Cole, is a ticking time bomb. He yells, hits, screams and turns destructive when he's in a rage, and his out-of-control meltdowns are taking over the household. Jean even fears Cole may kill her in her sleep. What is behind his rages, and how can his parents help him and bring peace to their family? Then, Ryan and Rebecca's 6-year-old son, Sam, has violent temper tantrums that include kicking, hitting and biting his siblings and teachers. He has even threatened to kill his twin brother and burn the house down. Is Sam really dangerous, or just a master manipulator? What does Dr. Phil tell these parents they must do to change Sam's behavior? Talk about the show here.
