Topic : 09/06 The Ex Factor

Thank you to all the strong women who have posted their stories here.  I can't imagine what you have been through - I really can't.  I also can't imagine what it would be like to have to walk away from it all... and especially after being abused.  All of  you women are an inspiration and I hope that many who are suffering as you have, will get strength from your stories and leave too.  No one deserves anything less then love and friendship.  Anything other than that is abuse and life is too short to let anyone mistreat you.  Peace.

She needs to take her son and get a no contact order put up against her ex. She should not let any guy treat her and her son this way. Why didn't she call the police when he chocked her and threaten to throw the child over the fence. That's assault and child abuse. Where is her family in all of this. Why arnt they helping her.

It's wishy-washy people like this woman that make it so difficult for women who really need help to get away from abuse to actually get it.  I actually had a police officer tell me that until my divorce was final, my soon-to-be-ex-husband could break into my home and trash whatever he wanted and they couldn't do a thing about it.  He (my ex) had moved out and decided he wanted to stop by to talk and I didn't answer the door - he heard voices, decided I was with another man so he kicked the door in and went ballistic.  What he'd heard was the television.  A neighbor called the police and they came - to be absolutely NO help whatsoever.  I believe it's because they see this wishy-washy crap too much and just don't believe it when a woman says she wants out of a relationship.  An added note, at this time my ex had recently been arrested for drunk driving and was on a restricted driver's license which he was violating at the time, he had expired tags on his car and had canceled this insurance to get money back - all of which the cops had no interest in.

Come on women, if you're in an abusive relationship, stop making excuses, pack your stuff and RUN!!  I was fortunate and had no children with this idiot but if I had, I would have left sooner.

Sorry for what you are going through, but what you should do in this situation is back off.  You really have no right to dictate when the ex can and cannot call your bf.  You have no right to interfere with the visitiation schedule - that is between him and her.  Sure, she sounds like an immature nut job, but you have no control over that.  They two of them will have this child in common forever, there is no getting around that, and it will only cause problems for you to try and insert yourself in the middle, cause you're afraid they will get back together. 

For your own sanity, back off - if it's that bad, then don't live with your boyfriend anymore until you decide to get married.  And if you love this little girl like you say you do, please realize that all the fighting and control-grabbing going on in this situation is hurting HER - and someone's got to be enough of a grownup to put a stop to it!  I wish you luck, I know this is a tough situation.

NOT FAIR to the CHILD.

Bottom line....do NOT expose any child to abuse, regardless of at whom the abuse is directed.

As a parent (especially a MOTHER who carries her child to term!!!), we OWE IT TO OUR CHILDREN to protect them and be the best role model possible.

All this chaos and violence and immaturity is KILLING our children...their minds, bodies and spirits.

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!

Nice post. These women did do what is best for them AND for their innocent children. I am proud of them, as well.

However, we need to examine why so many PICK abusers if we ever want to conquer this national problem. There is something wrong with any human being who wants someone so bad that s/he will tolerate abuse for a second time.

This "victim status" needs to be made unacceptable. Pressure needs to be put on women (and men) to do what is best for their children...always. Being a good parent means being unselfish and responsible. Being unselfish and responsble means saying good-bye FAST at the first sign of abuse.

Many women are violent as well. I have seen high school girls lay hands on other MORE than I have seen high school boys do the same. Sadly, we (as a society) are more accepting to girls and women's hitting and fighting. But we shoudn't be.

NO ABUSE, regardless of gender, is OK. And any woman who raises a hand to a man is quite STUPID, considering the size and stength difference!!! It always amazes me how dumb people get when they get angry:)