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Topic : 09/06 The Ex Factor

Number of Replies: 127
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Created on : Friday, August 31, 2007, 10:21:47 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
What do you do when your ex is still in the picture and wreaking havoc? Louise says she broke up with Mike two months ago because he choked her, threw chairs at her, and even threatened to throw their infant son over a fence. Mike says anger just runs in the family, and he wants Louise to take him back but another ex of Mike’s has a warning for Louise. Shannon says she wants to expose Mike for the cruel man he really is. Mike says Shannon is a liar and an unfit mother. When Dr. Phil digs deeper into the story, you won’t believe the claims Shannon makes. Plus, what did Mike confess to Louise that has Dr. Phil concerned for the children? As allegations of abuse, threats and theft fly, Dr. Phil tries to make sense of these strained relationships. Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

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September 6, 2007, 7:40 am CDT

09/06 The Ex Factor

 Sometimes I can't believe the people they find for these shows!

And, once again--why do women always have kids with these guys??  I mean, I love kids; I want kids; but because I love them I would never forgive myself if I had them in a situation where the guy was squeezing my neck and calling me obscene names.  No kid deserves to have parents like that.  If I can't get myself out of a bad situation, I at least wouldn't drag a child into it along with me.  Or is the apparent inability to manage birth control yet another symptom of mind-boggling immaturity?
 
September 6, 2007, 7:56 am CDT

Mother Who Try To Protect Their Children....

Mothers who try to protect their children from abuse are losing custody of their children because the ex's claim the mothers are lying or trying to alienate the child from them "Parental Alienation Syndrome"  This "junk science" was made up by Dr Richard Gardner.  Dr Gardner committed suicide.  In his writings he also condones the sexualization of children as "normal" and "beneficial" to children's development.  CPS, judges and others connected to the family courts are taking custody away from mothers that try to protect their children and give the children to the abuser!  There is no protection in this system for innocent children!  Mothers are afraid to speak out for fear of losing their kids!  Read more on Dr Gardner and PAS at the following link:

 

http://www.leadershipcouncil.org/1/res/dallam/2.html

 

 
September 6, 2007, 8:21 am CDT

My Story, My Advice

I can't believe what I am seeing!  How old are these people?  One's afraid that he would hurt her, but she's still sleeping with him. The other has been punched, but stays:

I was married in 1996 to a man who I thought was the best thing since sliced bread.  We were married one day when he talks me into going to get speed because he had something he wanted to do, and it helps him think.  Anyway, we pull into a trailer park.  At that point, I had never ever had any experience with drug use.after sitting in the car all night, I finally went to the trailer and asked where he was.  He had passed out in the bedroom while smoking CRACK. Sadly, this was a habit he forgot to tell me about.  I  told myself (like many other women) that I can change him, he loves me...I can change him by loving him just a little bit more.  His drug usage was more than I had ever even talked about. I had seen things on TV, but believe me, this is 1000 times worse than anything ever portrayed on TV.  One day he was snorting coke, whe had been arguing about the coke when I got mad and told him that he was ruining his life and setting a horrible example for his 15-year-old daughter.  My ex had just recently had foot surgery and was on crutches.  It was a fight that I couldn't win.  I was choked to the point that I passed out.  My head was being beaten into the floor.  He remembered the crutches and used them to beat me.  I finally got away, I just grabbed my shoes and left.  Sadly, like many battered women, I went back. These beatings, and worse kept me "the way I should be"  Then I became pregnant. He SWORE on his grandmother's grave that as soon as the baby came that he would stop the drugs and the beatings.  I believed him.  I was wrong.

Everything goe WORSE. His drug abuse was to the point that he was never sober.  As soon as he felt a little sober, he did more. I was forced to write bad checks so that he could get money for more drugs. When my daughter was 8  months old, his parents had had enough. They threw all three of us out. (at this time, they thought that I was also  using...I took many beatings for refusing to smoke crack or snort coke or shoot up!) I begged MY parents to take us in. Finally, after millions of promises, we were allowed to move in temporarily. I'm sure it was because of the baby. Suddenly, my husband decided that we, including his 18 year old daughter were going to Florida.  My parents helped me get the courage to stand up to him.  I was able to kick him to the curb.  he left me $50 and was gone for a year. By then I had filed for divorce. My daughter and I are doing fine without him...he flutters in and out of my daughter's life.

I know, that had I decided to try to save the marriage, I would be dead by now.

Clearly the man on this show has manipulated these two women into letting him do  whatever he wants.  Having been there, my advice is for both of them to get out. No one is worth losing yourself or being made to be where you don't want to be. Life is more important than a lover, boyfriend, or husband.

 
September 6, 2007, 8:47 am CDT

Foster Care Decent?

Quote From: keksews

Thirty minutes into the show and I have seen enough!!!   These "grown-ups" in this situation deserve whatever they bring on themselves.  They are all three crazy.  Dr. Phil needs to call the Department of Children's Services to remove these children immediately and give them a chance at a decent, safe life with foster or adoptive parents.  These children need to be protected!!!!
You know how many children are abused in foster homes?  Foster kids are drugged to help them cope with the situations adults are placing them in.  Fostercare is going from the frying pan and into the fire!  Dr Phil has done exactely the right thing as usual!  Get the parents the help they need!  Kids do better left in their family if the family is open to get help and change!  For the most part foster care sucks.  Ask any adult child who came out of the foster care system.  They'll tell you!
 
September 6, 2007, 8:50 am CDT

KIDS

YOUR KIDS ARE THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN YOUR LIFE.. IF YOU CAN'T ''GET THAT'' THEN YOU DON'T DESERVE TO HAVE THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
September 6, 2007, 8:51 am CDT

long haul

I'll watch today, but this Mother has only been separated for 2 months.  If she handles things well, life might get easier for her.  I do have some advice on this subject.  My wonderful son, now 22, and I made it and so can you.  I stayed separated for 8 years before filing for divorce due to his bizarre behavior.  My son was worth it. 

 

Here's the deal.  You treat him like he's a wild animal, a gorilla even.  Stay very calm, make little to no eye contact, say as few words as possble, and listen to as few words as possible.  Lie if need be, someone is always at the door if a phone tantrum begins, we were just on our way out if he shows up at your house.  Try to leave the courts out of your life, they only escalate problems (in my opinion).  Respect his anger in the sense that you don't want anyone hurt and never depend on him for a penny or childcare.  I know this is not what you want to hear, but it sounds like this is what you are up against.  It will work and time does fly.  He will grow bored to death with you and move on.  Educate your children in this manner also.  It's a long run situation, and it does not have to reflect on the rest of your life (or your childs), you are performing, you are acting, you are cautious.  He will not be the winner. 

 

But listen, you have a child with a strange person, don't go involving other people, give it a long long time before you start dating or marrying again.  I never understood how women so happily invite others they supposedly love to this nightmare.  The meek are also the strong. 

Love, Luanne    

 

 

 

 
September 6, 2007, 8:56 am CDT

Violence is never funny.

[quote]Many women are violent as well. I have seen high school girls lay hands on other MORE than I have seen high school boys do the same. Sadly, we (as a society) are more accepting to girls and women's hitting and fighting. But we shoudn't be.[/quote]

I agree, Fithomcat. It made me a little queasy when the woman today said that she occasionally hit the man and once picked him up by his private parts and threw him across the room. When the audience clapped and laughed over that, they looked like animals to me.

I didn't get the feeling that she really wanted full custody of her daughter, either. I would hate to see her get custody just because she's been shamed into it. Just carrying a baby nine months doesn't make you a loving maternal person. Some people, even female people, have been damaged at some point and are not really able to care for a child.
 
September 6, 2007, 8:58 am CDT

Violence is never funny.

[quote]Many women are violent as well. I have seen high school girls lay hands on other MORE than I have seen high school boys do the same. Sadly, we (as a society) are more accepting to girls and women's hitting and fighting. But we shoudn't be.[/quote]

I agree, Fithomcat. It made me a little queasy when the woman today said that she occasionally hit the man and once picked him up by his private parts and threw him across the room. When the audience clapped and laughed over that, they looked like animals to me.

I didn't get the feeling that she really wanted full custody of her daughter, either. I would hate to see her get custody just because she's been shamed into it. Just carrying a baby nine months doesn't make you a loving maternal person. Some people, even female people, have been damaged at some point and are not really able to care for a child.
 
September 6, 2007, 11:50 am CDT

FOR LOUISE

You ask about how it will affect your child if you don't allow visitation rights with his dad?  I think also you stated that you would be afraid he (Jessy) will grow up to hate you if you keep him from seeing his father.  Well, let me tell you from my personal experience that it does more harm to the child to 'make' him go with his father than if you just say no!  My ex-husband, the father of my child, wanted visitation with him only when it was convenient for him (the ex).  My son was only 3 and 4 years old at the time and would tell me that he didn't want to go.  I didn't want my son to grow up & hate me for keeping him from his father, so I would encourage him to go and let the ex take him.  I wanted my son to grow up and form his own opinion of his father.  Well, today my son is 13, soon will be 14 and has clearly made his decision.  He hates his father.  He resents me almost forcing him to go with his father and has anger/ behavior issues due to this.  My son & I do have a very close relationship, but he says now he wishes I hadn't made him go with his dad for visitations.  I only thought I was doing what was best for my son, little did I know.  I have him in counseling now and have had for several years.  It's not worth the emotional scar that it leaves.  Hind sight's 20/20, if only I had to do over, he (the ex) would not have had the opportunity to do all he has done to my son.  My son also has ADHD, which his dr. feels was brought on by this poor excuse for a father, in which I just refer to as a sperm donor.  I now have a wonderful husband of nearly 10 years and he has accepted my son as his own and they have a great relationship.  Trust me, you need to get out & take the child with you and don't look back!
 
September 6, 2007, 12:30 pm CDT

ex factor

first of all that man needs to go to jail. he has a problem!!! Those GIRLS need to leave and grow up because they have children 
 
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