Topic : Getting Along With Your In-Laws

You are correct... he is a BIG boy.  So isn't it ironic that women tell other women what their husbands need to tell their mothers and grandmothers?   :)    

  I am tired of keeping her secret. She confided in me last year a secret and told me not to tell my husband. I knew then I should have told her then dont tell me if I cant tell him. But I didnt . She caught me totally off guard when she says" I have had 2 abortions in the last 6 months"  She didnt tell her husband (he thought they were trying but not trying, kinda like if it happens great...) Had her mom pay for them so he wouldnt know. I feel bad for him. My husband and his brother are very close and I have to see them and her(we no longer speak) every day. I feel sorry for him. I know I shouldnt tell, but I needed to tell someone. Thanks 

Why aren't you and your SIL speaking any longer? 

The first thing I thought of when I read your post was a young woman I used to know many, many years ago who would say things like your SIL has said to you, but she wasn't telling the truth, (I learned later!) she was saying those things for attention, and/or to 'stir' up some chaos that didn't need to be stirred up. Maybe this is what your SIL is doing?? For example, think about this: if you tell your husband, and your husband tells his brother, and his brother confronts his wife, and then she says YOU are a liar and that you are just starting trouble... guess what? that means she has now alienated these two brothers and it will appear that you are to blame. You don't want that to happen, because then she will "win." Is she the controlling, manipulative type of person? I would bet that she told you that 'secret' to start a bunch of crap- I haven't a doubt, because 'normal' people do not tell important people(people who could change their lives)  their deep dark secrets like that, they just don't!  

So my advice is to dismiss her 'confession' to you as a lie to get her husband and your husband to not be so close, because their closeness is probably bugging the heck out of her, she wants her husband all to herself, she doesn't want to share him with anyone, and it sounds like she will do this at any expense.  

My father-in-law is a control freak and knows everything.  I'm not sure how to deal with this issue. I feel that he is putting a terrible strain on my marriage. I have been married for almost 7 years, and every year it gets worse.  We live close to him, which doesn't help matters any. It was fine at the beginning of our marriage. He and his wife, who has since passed away, travelled and were gone most of the time. He is now remarried and is constantly interfering with our business.   He asks inappropriate questions about our finances and has told us numerous times that I should continue to work rather than quit to take care of the kids and the home. He says women that do not work spend their husband's money.  He interferes with situations involving the kids.  Basically, he has an opinion about every subject and is always right. I have also caught him in several lies, one which involved my husband and was very hurtful to him.  He refused to believe his dad would make up a story. No one in my family can stand to be around him, and his new wife is constantly embarassed because of his inappropriate comments and rudeness toward her family and friends. I need help coping with this stressful issue in my life. 

my father-in-law lives with us. he drives me nuts. i have to stay in another part of the house to get away from him. My husband watches tv with him. I can't be in the same room with him, for we get into an arguement. and now meal times are getting that way. i left the table tonight in tears.  i try not to let him steal my joy, but he sure has a way of doing it.  

I feel so much resentment towards him.  He's diabetic and very picky about his food. he wants loads of meat and starches. and criticizes the vegetables i fix. I try to tell him what the doctor says and he says "that's you talking". So I just have quit trying to take care of him. other than washing his clothes, and fixing meals. I just stay away from him.  

If I were like I was 10 or 15 years ago, I'd left them both. But, I love my husband, and love my home.  

Thanks for the message board, gives me a vent time.  

my father-in-law lives with us. he drives me nuts. i have to stay in another part of the house to get away from him. My husband watches tv with him. I can't be in the same room with him, for we get into an arguement. and now meal times are getting that way. i left the table tonight in tears.  i try not to let him steal my joy, but he sure has a way of doing it.  

I feel so much resentment towards him.  He's diabetic and very picky about his food. he wants loads of meat and starches. and criticizes the vegetables i fix. I try to tell him what the doctor says and he says "that's you talking". So I just have quit trying to take care of him. other than washing his clothes, and fixing meals. I just stay away from him.  

If I were like I was 10 or 15 years ago, I'd left them both. But, I love my husband, and love my home.  

Thanks for the message board, gives me a vent time.  

my father-in-law lives with us. he drives me nuts. i have to stay in another part of the house to get away from him. My husband watches tv with him. I can't be in the same room with him, for we get into an arguement. and now meal times are getting that way. i left the table tonight in tears.  i try not to let him steal my joy, but he sure has a way of doing it.  

I feel so much resentment towards him.  He's diabetic and very picky about his food. he wants loads of meat and starches. and criticizes the vegetables i fix. I try to tell him what the doctor says and he says "that's you talking". So I just have quit trying to take care of him. other than washing his clothes, and fixing meals. I just stay away from him.  

If I were like I was 10 or 15 years ago, I'd left them both. But, I love my husband, and love my home.  

Thanks for the message board, gives me a vent time.