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Topic : 09/11 The Dr. Phil House: Man Camp Newlyweds

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Created on : Friday, September 07, 2007, 03:31:51 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Most newlyweds cherish their honeymoon period and look forward to planning their future together. But these recently married couples say they’re already talking divorce! The wives say they’re sick and tired of being controlled and belittled by their demanding, overbearing and chauvinistic husbands, so they’re dragging them to Dr. Phil’s Man Camp for a complete overhaul. It’s not a one-way street through – the husbands have serious complaints about their better halves. Jim and Kim have been married only six weeks. Though Jim’s job takes him away from home, the distance doesn’t stop their fighting. Kim says his habit of leaving nasty voicemail messages is just another way for him to abuse and control her.  Jim says his wife loves his paycheck, not him. Then, Jack and Danielle are also only six weeks into their “wedded bliss” but are already sleeping separately. Danielle says Jack is so controlling, he even tells her how to shower. Jack admits he can’t get over his wife’s past, and he brings it up every time they fight. And, John and Karla have been married for nine months, but cameras capture a volatile environment that has Dr. Phil extremely concerned. Does Karla have good reason to sleep with a knife under her pillow? Join the discussion and tell us what you think!

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September 9, 2007, 4:52 am CDT

09/11 The Dr. Phil House: Man Camp Newlyweds

Men who belittle women, hit women, throw women are cowards! Get out alive! I know from experience the horror of one evening that changed my life for ever! I was recuperating from a disk removal, still using a walker, and he beat me unconscious, bent  and twisted my spine, threw me to the floor with enough force I had a broken piece of bone lodge in a nerve to my leg! Thank God, it could have lodged into my spinal cord area and I would have been paralyzed; we had been married nearly 10 years, knew each other about 12 years. My then husband shocked the heck out of me; as well as the rest of my family! I now look back to the red flags I should have paid attention to, but he explained them away as against his father! I paid a high price for that, and his rage nearly got me killed in my home, his attempt to strangle me and break my neck was also a part of the assault, he accepted a plea agreement, and continues to work, but was to receive counseling and no contact with me, then a PPO for another year! He has a psychotic personality, in his mind he did nothing wrong, unless he had what Dr. Phil has called "black out rage" but he never apologized for nearly killing me, or hurting me; not that I would have stayed but that would at least made him more of a human being in acknowledging his battering! psychotic testing, batterers counseling, anger management! I feel he perhaps went through the motions, as he violated the no contact order by coming close to me, and of course he said he didn't see it was me! the only 2 people in the parking lot that day, me coming from the store he approaching me! A very scary personality to be out and free, someone else will end up hurt again or murdered in their homes as I nearly was! Violent people don't change their spots, I would bet he wouldn't have attacked me if I could have defended myself, he attacked an invalid! What  a coward! Get out as soon as possible; I happen to marry a controlling angry man 9 years before the second marriage, I couldn't even take my children to Sunday School, stop to fix my Mother's hair without him accusing me of some mis-doing! I picked 2 wrong personalities, both abusive and I am receiving counseling to see why I am taken in and believe these people to be nice normal loving people! I believed them, but no more! I would rather be alone and safe than to be with someone who just uses me to care for them as a Mother! I realize that both these people were Mama's boys, and they looked for a replacement! They had one for awhile, I was never going to marry again, and I was single 9 years before meeting the last husband, sad sad sad, and I now say never again will I be married to another one! (can't call them men, as real men don't beat women!)  
 
September 9, 2007, 5:42 am CDT

I would know what to do.

I would not have to go on the Dr. Phil show to know exactly what to do with these losers.

Dump them now and get on with a new, happy, healthy life.  Leave these losers to do themselves in.  The losers never improve.  They just find new suckers.

 
September 9, 2007, 6:54 am CDT

Issues on National Television

Quote From: trisda

I am one of the mancampers wife, let me tell you 12000 couples applied for this and 3 got picked, unfortunately there is alot of disfunction going on in America, we are just one of the couples that got picked and chose to display our issues on national television in hopes of some help.
I had to respond to your comment... My husband and I have been married this month 1 YEAR and its been HELL! No hitting and no violence and things of that nature, but there is ALOT of disrespect. I was interviewed by dr. Phils staff and even asked to come on the the show for the man camp, and guess what he said (the husband) NO!!! that made me so mad. He doesnt want our problems on tv. that hurt me said to me that you didnt want the help that couldve been offered to us. I just had to say tht at least your husband agreed. And for all those people out there that say why did you marry him? he was like that before? they werent... SOME people do get involved with people and no that there no good and still marry, for hopes of them changing. Not in my case, I have been with this man for 11 years and then we get married and now I cant stand him!
 
September 9, 2007, 9:37 am CDT

53 Years

My wife and I will be married 54 years on the 27th of December 2007.  I would not take all the Money in all the banks in my county to go through the first three years of our marriage again.   Until we learned to sit down and talk about what was bothering us, and being still while one of us talked, and tried to see their side of the argument,  Then gave the other time to respond with out cutting in. ( We were in a bad mood all the time. ) 1. Her money was her money, my money was my money.  2, The house was hers and I had no say in what kind of furniture we should buy.  I was 6'4" and the chairs and sofa were Modern. (cut me in the middle of my back, and wasn't long enough to lay on). 3. Since I was farming with/for her father, I never had a good idea. She was mad at me for arguing with her father. These are examples of the things we argued about.  Until we pooled our money and discussed our likes and dislikes, and under stood that even a blind hog will get an acorn once in a while,  almost 3 years  from the time we were married, It was yatta ta yatta ta . Couples must talk and listen, as well as decide to stay together no matter what (as long as it isn't a fidelity or drinking  issue)  Never make it too easy on yourself to get a divorce.  The for better gets better after the worse is dismantled.  We have 2 wonderful children, and 3 Grandchildren.  Thanks  The Jerseyman of Ohio
 
September 9, 2007, 12:00 pm CDT

Errors of My Ways

 Hi, I was raised by an abusive dad,and my mother stayed with him. I have had many failed relationships. Now I see the error of my ways, but I don't know what to do next. What do I do Dr. Phil? How do I rebuild? I see many woman that have a measure of man hate now. I don't want to spend time with spinning my wheels with a female that is taking the condescendingly attitude all the time. I have been hurt too, but since I am a male it seems to be not that important to the females to let me voice my feelings, they have listened to you and think that it is their right to go over their hurts and past things that I have done, or past hurts that other men have done to them. Do I have to listen to this spill of hurts forever? When will the gal get it that I have heard them and I am ready to move forward? Almost every time something goes wrong, I get a good dose of all the things that I have done wrong from my female. Do they truly care about me or are they sticking around to make sure to rub salt in my wounds. Is that your way of helping these guys that get it, or have the gals misunderstood the until, "They are heard phrase?" Why are they compelled to go over every hurt I have done to them when I am trying to discuss a new issue? Should I just move on to someone else? Or am I cutting them short from getting out all their hurt feeling; because it is like we have been over some of these before, but they never go away.

If I focus on all my wrongs, then negative things stay with me. But if I look at where I made the mistake and try to focus to do better (not bully or report bullies) then I feel that there is hope. Should I try to be friends with my x's? Should I try to repair the burnt bridges, or move forward and not look back?


 
September 9, 2007, 12:48 pm CDT

Monday's Man Camp

There is the saying, "You get what you paid for"  Most women are so in love and so blind to these men's shortcomings and violent tendercies, they look the other way and would rather  marry them than being lonely.  Then, you have women who are "gold diggers" and care about only their husbands' salary and bank account.  They hold on to these adolescent fantasies of marrying well to be treated like princesses.  The warning signs were there before these women married them but they were ignored. Now, they are sorry for being in denial and want out.   I have no sympathy for them whatsoever.

 

These men are copying what they saw their fathers has done to their mothers when they were growing up.  If they saw that their Daddy gotten his way with threats and violence, they think it is okay to treat their own wives that way.  Then, there's the verbal abuse, the mind games and the cheating that most of them saw their daddies has done to their mamas.  Lastly, the men could be a product of a divorce and their daddies weren't there to teach them any appropiate leadership skills they need to be the head of their household.  They don't know how to be a good man to their wives.  The past created the men that they are.

 

I hope Dr. Phil will uncover their deep rooted, emotional problems of their past so they can learn that there are better ways to prove their manhood and still be loving husbands.

 

 

 
September 9, 2007, 1:27 pm CDT

09/11 The Dr. Phil House: Man Camp Newlyweds

Quote From: ta1979

I had to respond to your comment... My husband and I have been married this month 1 YEAR and its been HELL! No hitting and no violence and things of that nature, but there is ALOT of disrespect. I was interviewed by dr. Phils staff and even asked to come on the the show for the man camp, and guess what he said (the husband) NO!!! that made me so mad. He doesnt want our problems on tv. that hurt me said to me that you didnt want the help that couldve been offered to us. I just had to say tht at least your husband agreed. And for all those people out there that say why did you marry him? he was like that before? they werent... SOME people do get involved with people and no that there no good and still marry, for hopes of them changing. Not in my case, I have been with this man for 11 years and then we get married and now I cant stand him!

I feel your pain, I am sorry that your husband wouldnt go on and get the help you need. You cant help those that wont help themselves. 

 

The week at the house was great ! We learned some very powerful tools to help change our relationship, the only problem is the house was a week, and now we are back in our home towns to fin for ourselves.

 

Good luck and just remember you are not alone !

 
September 9, 2007, 1:34 pm CDT

09/11 The Dr. Phil House: Man Camp Newlyweds

newlyweds!  mancamp! 

   i agree all newlyweds need counseling before they decide to get married. it should be made into a law! and seek a counselor in whom you can trust and feel comfortable in talking to.  a counselor that doesn't go by the book, but goes by common sense and human feelings. 

 
September 9, 2007, 1:37 pm CDT

Mancamper response

Quote From: dking11801

I would not have to go on the Dr. Phil show to know exactly what to do with these losers.

Dump them now and get on with a new, happy, healthy life.  Leave these losers to do themselves in.  The losers never improve.  They just find new suckers.

I am one of the men you are speaking about. I am responsible for my actions and take full accountability for them. Its hard when you were only taught one way all your life. If everyone keeps turning their back on men like myself how are we ever going to realize that we have problems and get the help that we need. Thank God I found a woman who has not turned her back on me but saw the good man under the pain I inflict on others only trying to truly understand the reasoning behind it. I am so glad that she trusts and believes in me and that there is help out there for men like us if we seek it. We have a right to feel free and happy and not live the same way we were taught as children. Granted we have only been married for 2 months, we have been together for 4 years. Thank God for God and forgiveness so we can leave the past behind and go on and live successful, functioning lives. Im not one of the men on the show that has threatened her life or has used physical violence but I have verbally destroyed her and I am not saying that one is worse then the other, they all are wrong, Woman should always feel like a queen and be respected. Every day is a struggle for me but with God in my life, I truly feel I can change because it is only thru God that miracles can occur. And if you watch the show you will see that all of the couple portrayed are christians and wanted freedom from the disfunction in their lifes. Every day will be a struggle but I am up for the battle and with patience and communication I feel I can turn this around and have a very successful marriage. I do thank you for your oppinion and comments.
 
September 9, 2007, 3:35 pm CDT

I can only hope that there will be less cussin'

Quote From: trisda

I am one of the men you are speaking about. I am responsible for my actions and take full accountability for them. Its hard when you were only taught one way all your life. If everyone keeps turning their back on men like myself how are we ever going to realize that we have problems and get the help that we need. Thank God I found a woman who has not turned her back on me but saw the good man under the pain I inflict on others only trying to truly understand the reasoning behind it. I am so glad that she trusts and believes in me and that there is help out there for men like us if we seek it. We have a right to feel free and happy and not live the same way we were taught as children. Granted we have only been married for 2 months, we have been together for 4 years. Thank God for God and forgiveness so we can leave the past behind and go on and live successful, functioning lives. Im not one of the men on the show that has threatened her life or has used physical violence but I have verbally destroyed her and I am not saying that one is worse then the other, they all are wrong, Woman should always feel like a queen and be respected. Every day is a struggle for me but with God in my life, I truly feel I can change because it is only thru God that miracles can occur. And if you watch the show you will see that all of the couple portrayed are christians and wanted freedom from the disfunction in their lifes. Every day will be a struggle but I am up for the battle and with patience and communication I feel I can turn this around and have a very successful marriage. I do thank you for your oppinion and comments.
Please tell me that there won't be all that infernal cussin' goin' on like in the previous DrP houses. It's not that it offends my sensibilities, I have heard plenty of curse words in my lifetime. But , I have found that I can express my opinions with words that don't have to be bleeped out. It's annoying with all that bleepin' goin on.
 
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