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Topic : 12/26 The Nanny Affair, Part 1

Number of Replies: 962
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Created on : Friday, September 07, 2007, 03:33:20 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 09/12/07) Affairs, fights, lies and dark secrets are tearing a family apart. Brandon and Amy have been married for 2 1/2 years and have three children. One year into their marriage, Brandon was caught having an affair with their teenage nanny. Was she the only one, or did he cheat with others? The couple's tumultuous relationship reached a breaking point when Amy, who said she feared for her life, obtained a restraining order against Brandon. What led him to file divorce papers?  Then, five months into the proceedings, their relationship reignited. Why did Amy let Brandon back into her life? Amy's parents and her ex-best friend, Heidi, say Amy's heading down the road to disaster. So why do they doubt Brandon's recent revelations? And, why does Brandon say Amy's ruining his reputation? Talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

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September 9, 2007, 3:57 pm CDT

We are here to give our opinions.

Quote From: manofgoods

I don't think that other women should never be bashed at all. The husband is the one that should be bashed, after all, he is the one who is married. And what if the Nanny was under 18? Perhaps he was bribing her in someway to have sex with her. Don't bring any judgments on her, or OW who may be involved as well. They are just trying to look for love, but looking for love in the wrong person. I'm a single man at 25 years of age, & I know these things. Don't judge others, unless you want to be judged, too.
The thing about opinions is that ultimately they are indeed judgements. Please remember that this couple came on DrP and allowed us to see thier pain. We are invited to these messageboards to talk about the shows. There's no way we can come on here and not be judgemental in some way. If we have a problem with passing judgement of any kind, then we shouldn't come and visit these boards. I am a married woman of 53 and I am still learning new ideas and waiting for some wisdom.
 
September 9, 2007, 8:48 pm CDT

A single man...wonder why?

Quote From: manofgoods

I don't think that other women should never be bashed at all. The husband is the one that should be bashed, after all, he is the one who is married. And what if the Nanny was under 18? Perhaps he was bribing her in someway to have sex with her. Don't bring any judgments on her, or OW who may be involved as well. They are just trying to look for love, but looking for love in the wrong person. I'm a single man at 25 years of age, & I know these things. Don't judge others, unless you want to be judged, too.

Not only are you repeating yourself about things you know NOTHING ABOUT since you are single......but you are bashing people that you know NOTHING about. I don't judge. I leave that up to God. I do however, speak the TRUTH about what I KNOW and again.....I know BOTH Brandon & Amy so I KNOW what I'm talking about. Stick to the things you know young man. Love, marriage, kids.....those are definitely things you know nothing about yet.

 
September 10, 2007, 11:24 am CDT

All may be lost

If a man ever cheated on me, he'd be gone in a second. I wish Amy would have the same sense. In my mind, any man who goes after another woman when he's already in a steady relationship needs to be dumped on his dumb behind. And this man has kids! Cheating isn't just a mistake, it's a choice you make. Obviously Brandon has some more growing up to do. I feel sorry for the teenage babysitter. Why isn't this guy up on statutory rape charges? I'd hang him out to dry.

 
September 10, 2007, 11:40 am CDT

09/12 The Nanny Affair, Part 1

Quote From: j2b3o1

Not only are you repeating yourself about things you know NOTHING ABOUT since you are single......but you are bashing people that you know NOTHING about. I don't judge. I leave that up to God. I do however, speak the TRUTH about what I KNOW and again.....I know BOTH Brandon & Amy so I KNOW what I'm talking about. Stick to the things you know young man. Love, marriage, kids.....those are definitely things you know nothing about yet.

Oh, I know what goes on throughout this world. Plus, I believe that married men should leave all single women alone. Whenever something bad happens in a relationship with their wives, they turn towards vulnerable women who are single, manipulate them to make them believe that they love them, plus they use them for sex, & before you know it, then they dump them like hot potatoes & their hearts wound up getting broken, because that's what married men do. That's why I believe women who are single should look out for guys like that, because being in a relationship with a married men is bad for them.

 

I know that you know both of these people, but hear me out on this one.

 
September 11, 2007, 4:54 am CDT

09/12 The Nanny Affair, Part 1

Quote From: emt888

Finally, a person of true reason.

Thank you
Either way you look at it the responsible party is the party that is in the relationship. Eventhough what the Nanny did is reprehensible she had no responsibility to that relationship whatsoever. And frankly although I do not know the man in this story, the fact that he had an affair with a teenager is abhorrent. His wife doesn't need help defaming his character he did that himself. And as far as responsibility what about their responsibility to the Nanny? To provide a save work environment is the obligation of the employer and his lasciviousness certainly did nothing for her mental and physical as well as emotional safety.
 
September 11, 2007, 6:24 am CDT

Againstt the odds

I will probably get ridiculed for my comment.  I was married and I divorced my husband because of numerous affairs as well as violent behavior between the two of us.  I am a huge advocate of marriage and did everything in my power to make my marriage work.  I finally just came to the conclusion that we were oil and water.

 

My point is affairs happen because something is lacking in the relationship whether it is a sexual relationship or just a plain friendship.  I truly don’t believe men or women go out to purposely hurt a loved one.   His choice was poor and I feel for his family.  Do I think he can be forgiven?  Well that depends if it only happened once and he realized he made a huge mistake then yes.  But if this has happened several times there is a problem.  I don’t think they should stay married because of the kids.  But now days it seems it is too easy to just give up and divorce.  I think what he did was wrong but it all depends on his level of remorse whether or not he should be forgiven.  And family and friends need to stand behind the family’s decision.  It is not for any one else to choose their fate.  It is so easy to judge and say what we would do if it ever happened to us.  A wise man said once “It doesn’t become real, until it becomes personal”.  I heard that at a seminar from a Highway patrolman.  I have always kept that in the back of my mind.  And until you stand there and are faced with a similar situation you won’t know what you would do.

 

I am looking forward to watching the show to see exactly how this man re-acts it should be rather interesting.

 

 
September 11, 2007, 8:20 am CDT

09/12 The Nanny Affair, Part 1

Quote From: manofgoods

I don't think that other women should never be bashed at all. The husband is the one that should be bashed, after all, he is the one who is married. And what if the Nanny was under 18? Perhaps he was bribing her in someway to have sex with her. Don't bring any judgments on her, or OW who may be involved as well. They are just trying to look for love, but looking for love in the wrong person. I'm a single man at 25 years of age, & I know these things. Don't judge others, unless you want to be judged, too.

I would have to disagree with you.  It takes two to cheat.  If she didn't know he was married, then I could see how you would say “the other women should never be bashed".  But she knew he was married and chose to make her self available to him. 

 

Here is an analogy for you....You see a box on the side of the road…I would venture to say most would leave the box alone regardless of their income….now say I tell you that box was full of a million dollars….now you are tempted to look into it and maybe even take the money.

 

It goes the same for a married man/woman.  Normally they look but don’t touch.  Now let’s say that single attractive female/male shows him/her some attention and makes them feel young and vibe rant…now the married person is tempted to cheat.

 

We as single people need to take the temptation out of it by not engaging with unavailable people.  It’s that simple.  I pride myself as a single woman to check for rings, tan lines on the ring finger, indentations on the ring finger, rings on the watches or necklaces, as well as asking co-workers (Friends may lie). 

 

I refuse to be “The Other Woman”.  There are too many fish in the sea to mess with a man that is taken.

 

Yes, I know if someone is compelled to cheat he/she will….but if I can be one less distraction from a taken man then I will.  I have to look at myself in the mirror and refuse to stoop to that level.

 
September 11, 2007, 11:29 am CDT

I will not ridicule you.

Quote From: jcs89115

I will probably get ridiculed for my comment.  I was married and I divorced my husband because of numerous affairs as well as violent behavior between the two of us.  I am a huge advocate of marriage and did everything in my power to make my marriage work.  I finally just came to the conclusion that we were oil and water.

 

My point is affairs happen because something is lacking in the relationship whether it is a sexual relationship or just a plain friendship.  I truly dont believe men or women go out to purposely hurt a loved one.   His choice was poor and I feel for his family.  Do I think he can be forgiven?  Well that depends if it only happened once and he realized he made a huge mistake then yes.  But if this has happened several times there is a problem.  I dont think they should stay married because of the kids.  But now days it seems it is too easy to just give up and divorce.  I think what he did was wrong but it all depends on his level of remorse whether or not he should be forgiven.  And family and friends need to stand behind the familys decision.  It is not for any one else to choose their fate.  It is so easy to judge and say what we would do if it ever happened to us.  A wise man said once It doesnt become real, until it becomes personal.  I heard that at a seminar from a Highway patrolman.  I have always kept that in the back of my mind.  And until you stand there and are faced with a similar situation you wont know what you would do.

 

I am looking forward to watching the show to see exactly how this man re-acts it should be rather interesting.

 

And I'd say sometimes affairs happen for the reasons you stated. But in other cases, I think men (or women) just can't resist temptation. I think sometimes it's just the nature of the human beast. But like DrP always says, you don't turn away from the spouse and go outside of the marriage looking for solace. I'd say it only makes things worse to do that.Best of luck to you.
 
September 11, 2007, 11:31 am CDT

Hey manofgoods!

Quote From: manofgoods

Oh, I know what goes on throughout this world. Plus, I believe that married men should leave all single women alone. Whenever something bad happens in a relationship with their wives, they turn towards vulnerable women who are single, manipulate them to make them believe that they love them, plus they use them for sex, & before you know it, then they dump them like hot potatoes & their hearts wound up getting broken, because that's what married men do. That's why I believe women who are single should look out for guys like that, because being in a relationship with a married men is bad for them.

 

I know that you know both of these people, but hear me out on this one.

I have to say that "vulnerable" is not an excuse.
 
September 11, 2007, 10:43 pm CDT

09/12 The Nanny Affair, Part 1

First, it PEDOPHILE.  Just for clarification on how to spell it.

 

An affair is an affair plain and simple.  It takes 2 for the affair to take place and given that this teenager (she has to be 18 or over because this guy could do time if he admits that she was underage on TV!)  knew that he is married.  Both parties are in the wrong. 

 

This is why parents need to shape up!  Im raising boys who will know how to treat PEOPLE, not just women and a daughter with self esteem who knows how valuable she really is. 

 
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