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Topic : 12/26 The Nanny Affair, Part 1

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Created on : Friday, September 07, 2007, 03:33:20 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 09/12/07) Affairs, fights, lies and dark secrets are tearing a family apart. Brandon and Amy have been married for 2 1/2 years and have three children. One year into their marriage, Brandon was caught having an affair with their teenage nanny. Was she the only one, or did he cheat with others? The couple's tumultuous relationship reached a breaking point when Amy, who said she feared for her life, obtained a restraining order against Brandon. What led him to file divorce papers?  Then, five months into the proceedings, their relationship reignited. Why did Amy let Brandon back into her life? Amy's parents and her ex-best friend, Heidi, say Amy's heading down the road to disaster. So why do they doubt Brandon's recent revelations? And, why does Brandon say Amy's ruining his reputation? Talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

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September 12, 2007, 4:11 pm PDT

Life goes on

I wanted to just say that I have had a similar experiance with my former spouce of 11 years. Thinking that we were soulmates and 2 children later the last year that we were together things turned out to fall apart. I knew going into the relationship there was depression and other disorders, but we were happy until one day he snapped and he would get upset and it started out small, and towards the end he then became always condisending and violent towards myself. There were threats on my life, but when it became that it was not only me, it was against the children I decided that it was time to get out.  There will come a time when it will get worse, and if there are children involved it is not worth it to stay. Yes people can change, and we should give the benifit of the doubt, but when is enough , enough?? Even though we believe that it will not happen to us, that is usually when it does. Be careful..
 
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September 12, 2007, 4:12 pm PDT

These people definately need some help!!

First of all that FRIEND of hers needs to butt out!! There is are understanding supportive friends but she is just the opposite, she is poison and will continue to poison her friend and eveyone aroud her because she obviously has nothing better to do like say have her own life. She either needs to be there for her or get the hell out of the picture!! And as for the creep husband, well the impression I got was that he doesn't want to be there. In the home video shots when he is hugging and kissing her, it just looks like he didn't want to but did because the cameras were there and because he is trying to pull the wool over her eyes!!  The wife has a hand in it too, she needs to get a back bone and tell him to hit the bricks, also she needs to realize she doesn't need a man to validate her self worth and that she can make it on her own.
 
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September 12, 2007, 4:12 pm PDT

ugh

The husband knew exactly what he was doing. Not only is the nanny a minor, but she was put into a position that she shouldn't of had to face. If she was coming on to him, he should have put her in her place

letting her know that it was wrong, that he was a faithful married man,and relieved her of her duties of being a nanny. He's just nasty and the wife is in total denial if she thinks  that he would change. She  need to look at the fact that she is a mother and though her children are young, they see and comprehend more than  what you think. Also the fact of generational curses.

 
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September 12, 2007, 4:13 pm PDT

09/12 The Nanny Affair, Part 1

Quote From: truth2know

Trying to figure out the truth from this guy is equivalent to splitting hairs on a dead horse.  He has no integrity with himself, and that is no kind of person to try to partner a lifelong stability and journey with. 

 

If he were serious about counseling and the life-changes that he needs to make, he would be going on a regular frequency of at least once per week with additional group meetings.  It would be a large part of his life, and he would show commitment to it.  He is rather flippant about his efforts, and is very arrogant about being accountable for his time and effort.  This tells me he takes not only others but his own time and effort lightly, and it is just motions with no earnest intent.  He is obviously very immature and emotionally and cognitively incapable of an honest relationship.  He seems to be telling stories in order to make a believable facade, to tell people what he thinks they want to hear.

 

He has already destroyed all that was good in his life, and he is now seeing that what he has to lose is much more inconvenient to him than trying to salvage what remains and live the charade.  He is willing to admit only enough to make him appear accountable without taking full responsibility for his behavior.  He redirects conversation to shift blame and attention away from his culpability. His case and personality is very similar to the rash of fathers who killed their wives and families in the spring of 2007 in order to "be free" and get out of paying child support.  It is only a matter of time and his ability to sneak around when he acts out and gets caught again.  He would rather lie to his wife and make her entire life a lie for his own vile convenience.

 

Shall we list them?  Lacey Peterson is one...

 

This woman is being totally blind and deaf to the blaringly obvious signs that this guy is a sociopath willing to risk the sanctity and lives of others to indulge his carnal and narcissistic sicknesses, and then be able to live with himself and expect forgiveness without empathy.  He is in denial about many acts that he is only alluding to, he is a liar about things he has admitted and things he will not, and he is sick in many ways.  For anyone to discuss how he would kill and dispose of a person is a premeditation of a violent homocidal act which has yet to occur.  She is in danger in my opinion, and it is only a matter of time before he totally unravels.  Children, marriage, and family are a lifelong labor of love which fewer people are capable of, and some should never consider because they are too sick and will never have the capacity or the will.

 

Narcissism and his other aberrant personality traits are not conducive to fatherhood or husbandhood, and will  be a lifelong battle for him even when he decides to take his illness seriously and do something about it for real.

 

All he has really done is figured out how to tell a good story and put up a facade that is good enough to fool the one person whose decision matters ultimately in the direction his life will take.

 

No matter what he says or does now, any man who is capable of cheating on a wife at all, let alone within months of having their baby, while she is recovering from a car accident and surgeries, is sick, unstable, unprepared and incapable of participating as a husband and father in the reality of a marriage, or in reality at all.  What he did is a direct reflection of what he is inside, and he is a vacuous, heartless sexual predator and opportunist. 

 

She is young, beautiful, a wonderful caring mother with a great family and friends who DEARLY care about her, and she can much more easily move on and be her best without him rather than struggle through a trying and destructive relationship with his sicknesses.  I hope she can accept the futility of this guy and move on cleanly, and be in deep and genuine connection with her family and friends and raise those children in the best way.  Men these days are warped by the many sexually deviant influences and sexual entitlement that persists in this culture, and it is best to stay away from those that exhibit any of these signs. In the distant future, after she balances her life to focus on her children and her wellness, she may find a man in her life.  Believe me, a life without men is much more fulfilling than trying to be in a relationship with a bad, lying man.  She should divorce him and work on herself as an independent woman and mother and live like there is nothing else to want.

 

There are so many guys like him out there, it is really a social disease beyond the scope of this show.  If that is any consolation to her, she should find strength in the numbers of other women who have had to make similar choices.  There is a lot of support for her in her family and friends.  But she should always protect herself, because these kind of guys are the ones who take revenge and take the lives of the women and children they want to control for their own needs.

Bravo, so well said 
 
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September 12, 2007, 4:13 pm PDT

this is crazy

    I cant believe that this woman can't see him for what he is... it seems like shes either not that bright or she is just lying to herself.. because just in the thirty minutes of watching the show i think i pretty much KNOW what kind of sadistic man he is.... its all over him.... and its very unlikely that all these people are lying and there is some big conspiracy against him and he is just some innocent man... he is disgusting and evil and i think if she stays with him or doesn't get far enough away from him its very possible she and her family will end up hurt or worse.
 
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September 12, 2007, 4:13 pm PDT

no pain no gain

 

  First of all I understand how your friend feels , I had a friend ask for help to get out of a relationship, twice. The first time it was 2 weeks she moved bck with him the second he got kicked out now he lives with her.

mean while she got pregnant, which made it even scarier for her. all the words he says to her& her 4 year old disappeared not to mention the holes in the walls the personal items of hers that he broke. He is now a changed man she says. even though his third child doesn't have his name on her birthcertificate either...

She doesn't have friends she stays home all day by herself. I went out of my way & changed my life to help her out . I feel she made the bed more than once if she thinks he has changed thats all fine & dandy ' but i will not listen to her drama b.s. When she realizes he has done it to her again. But this time with a different set of friends. After seeing your husband on the show it is easy to pretend you have changed when it is just you. Like the DR says you have to own it first before you can change it the boy is lying his ass off ..

  You my think it will be hard & lonely without him, but in the long run you will respect yourself a lot more..& your children will too. They may be little , but this world is hard enough already to be raised in a house of unhappiness... goodluck there sunshine

 
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September 12, 2007, 4:14 pm PDT

I agree!!!!!!!!

Quote From: foxxyy

Have any of you even thought that sometimes people make mistakes and deserve a second chance????  Second of all, he may be lying...which is pretty clear, but doesnt anyone else want to punch the best friend in the face through the tv.  She needs to mind her own buisness.  You don't see her parents sitting up there and interupting everything they are saying do you????
I totally agree with you.  People do make mistakes, but this guy is a sociapath, who has narcicist qualities.  He is good at what he does, but not that good.  He is very arrogant and the wife needs to move on, get the kids clear of him, and get her obvious insecure ass in gear for help herself.  Yes yes yes, the redhead needs to get her butt off of the stage.  IT IS NOT HER BUSINESS>  Maybe when her friend has included her so much in this marriage, it became her business.  That was a mistake, but the wife had no one to turn to obviously.  It's good to lean on a friend, but the friend also needs to learn her boundries.  I doubt very much if she'd want the situation to be reversed, or if she'd even let it be reversed to where she was the wife et........  I can't believe she's allowed the air time that she had!
 
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September 12, 2007, 4:16 pm PDT

Oh My!!!

 When i watch tomorrow, I sincerely hope you hold NOTHING back when telling this couple the truth as you see it.  This man is so nauseatingly smug & reminds me of Scott Petersen.  He's either in deep denial with his behavior and/or a habitual liar.  He's a puke.  His wife appears to me to be disconnected & in denial also.  Her pain pills have helped her to minimize their past together ..... which in my view can only muck up their present & future BIG TIME.  

As far as the two women being both "disabled" and not able to work.............. well it's doesn't seem to stop them from having active sex lives.  Geeeeeeeez! 

Thank you for listening & for your commitment to reach out & make a positive difference,

Wendy Richards - Seattle WA

 
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September 12, 2007, 4:16 pm PDT

09/12 The Nanny Affair, Part 1

Quote From: mrpsych

Give him the MMPI!  He is dangerous!
I am with you. Mr. Psych.  I am a psychologist myself and believe this young man, Brandon, is one sick puppy!  With any luck, Dr. Phil will arrange for a thorough psychiatric assessment  and treatment services for Brandon and a good divorce lawyer for his soon to be ex-wife... Dr. J in Alberta, Canada
 
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September 12, 2007, 4:16 pm PDT

9/12 the nanny affair part 1

Quote From: nightangel1282

He was sleeping with the TEENAGE nanny??? Isn't that... against the law down there in the States? Wouldn't that be classified as statutory rape? (Hm... guess I'll have to wait for the show to get the answers to THOSE questions...)

Anyway, I say once a cheater, always a cheater. I wouldn't bother with him. Of course, there are kids in the equation as well, and that would complicate things significantly wouldn't it? Hmmm.... Looking forward to seeing this one!!

 

Nightangel1282

Dr. Phil, There is an old saying in my family, " the only thing you can change on a man is his diaper"This man will never change, once cheat,  twice cheat , always cheat.                                              spoon
 
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