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Topic : 12/27 The Nanny Affair, Part 2

Number of Replies: 1150
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Created on : Friday, September 07, 2007, 03:35:05 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 09/13/07) The saga continues, as Dr. Phil brings you more of the affair that shattered the lives of a husband and wife and her best friend and parents. One year into his marriage, Brandon was caught cheating on his wife, Amy, with their teenage nanny. After fearing for her life, Amy filed a restraining order against Brandon, and he filed for divorce. But, their separation didn't last long. Amy decided to let Brandon back into her life, much to the dismay of her best friend, Heidi, and her parents, Cyndie and Mont. Why does Cyndie say she's scared of Brandon, and why does Mont say he doesn't believe a word Brandon says? Then, how are the kids faring during all of this chaos in the home? Heidi and Cyndie say they worry Brandon's discipline is over the top, but he says he's a loving father. What does Amy have to say? And, why does Dr. Phil question Brandon's sincerity to change? Is there hope this couple can save their marriage or should they call it quits once and for all? Tell us what you think!

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September 13, 2007, 5:32 am CDT

Friend?

I know from experience that the friend feels like she is helping but maybe she needs to back off.  It is very trying and difficult to have someone living with you and it puts added stress on a marriage.  The couple will not be able to work through there problems as long as there is always someone "invading" their home especially when the person has very strong opinions. 

 

Thank you!

 

Mishelle Hargett

KY

 
September 13, 2007, 5:44 am CDT

09/13 The Nanny Affair, Part 2

Quote From: nightangel1282

Why would she let him back into her life after filing a restraining order against him? That doesn't make sense to me. Especially after she said she was fearing for her life.

 

I said it before in the part 1 forum, and I'll say it again here...

 

Call it quits!! Nobody needs that kinda stress in their life. If he's the kinda guy who'll cheat on his wife with a teenaged nanny, he's not worth your time or effort.

 

Nightangel1282

why would she go back on everything she worked for after filing a restraining order? her friend is right.. she screwed herself.. say he hasn't changed and he starts to get physical with her again, and she decides to file another restraining order.. any judge in his right mind is going to find out about the first one and say "well if you are so scared of him, then why did you let him come back around after filing the first one?"... and his attitude says it all.. when he said "I admitted to it. Let's move on!"... that right there is all she needs to know. He doesn't get the gravity of the pain and hurt that he's caused her or their family. He's too caught up in worrying about embarassing himself and not worried about her. He doesn't care. She needs to call it quits and move on. I mean, come on, if the man had enough guts to come on to her best friend.. drunk or not, there's no excuse for that or the affair(S). I wouldn't want to teach my kids that it's okay to have a man treat a woman like that. I would get out for the sake of my kids. And, he is obviously still lying to her about being in therapy, so what else is he still lying about?

 
September 13, 2007, 5:49 am CDT

09/13 The Nanny Affair, Part 2

After yesterdays show, I was feeling sorry for Amy - NOW I just feel furious at her.  She allowed this guy to hose down her screaming daughter as a form of punishment - "Gee, I thought it was better than hitting her".  Please - she's as dumb as a box of rocks, and I wouldn't care what happened to her at this point, since she continues to volunteer for abuse, were it not for the fact that she has three kids.  They don't deserve to be exposed to this monster, buy Amy is so weak-willed, I guess she'll let him do anything to them.  He probably loved every minute he spent out in the yard, torturing that little girl - it's probably his idea of fun - to torment someone weaker than he is who can't fight back.

 

As for Brandon, he is a psychopath with no conscience, and I for one don't believe he'll ever change, because he doesn't WANT to change - he just wants to keep on running his game on everyone around him, so he can have what he wants.  I lost count of the times he used "I don't remember" whenever he was backed into a corner and didn't want to give a truthful answer.  I've known someone like Brandon in my own life, as have others on this board, and once you learn to recognize them, you realize what you're dealing with - a black hole of hatred disguised as a charming-when-he-wants-to-be human being.

 

I respect Dr. Phil a lot, but I think he missed the boat on this one.  Psychiatry can't help this guy, and Amy's only hope is to run and not look back.

 

 

 
September 13, 2007, 5:53 am CDT

clueless

    
why is it so important for the "friend" to be involved in a married couples decision to stay married or get divored?  They are both adults and if physical and mental abuse is their poision let them learn their own lesson. Sometimes people need to see it for what it really is, a bad relationship, and really believe it deep down inside for themselves and not just an outsiders opinion.  It's like being a teenager all over again every person close to her is telling her to run, and  that is just making her want him even more.  My point is that once loving and friendly advise is not taken stop being a part of the madness and stick to shopping, lunch and fun stuff with the kids. If her "friend" can't do that then maybe she needs to find a friend that knows how to mind her own business and say , " Ya know I just don't think I want to involved anymore, however, i trust in time you will make the correct decisions for yourself and i will be here even after the dust settles." Oh, and a person doesn't change over night, either!!!! One has to believe that there is a need for self improvement and see the behavior for what it is and be willing move forward in a positive way.

Good luck to the self seeking couple and their third wheel!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
(my husband said that he thinks that the "friend" likes her friends husband and was jealous of their relationship from the start.)

 
September 13, 2007, 6:00 am CDT

I was Married to a Brandon for 10 years!!

Amy, I was married to a man for 10 years.  Throughout the entire marriage there were signs, but no hard core proof.  I was told I was "borrowing trouble" for questioning my gut instink.  Finally, 8 months pregnant with my 3rd child, instinks were not needed, the pictures showed it all.  Counseling happened, he admitted to cheating the entire marriage, but was a changed man.  Seven months later we became intimate again and I thought things were going to work.  Withing 9 months another affair started, I found out 6 months after it started, by trusting my instinks and him not being all that smart, I kicked him out and never looked back.  One reason I stayed so long was I was afraid of being alone and I actually still loved him.  After the last affair the love died, literally!  It was easy to leave.  I found a wonderful man that accepted me and my 3 children into his life with his son, who he was raising.  We just celebrated our 6th wedding anniversary.  It does get better and do not settle for someone who doesn't respect you.  Trust you best friend, that is what they are for.  They help us with decisions that we are not strong enough to make ourselves.  Good luck to you and your children.
 
September 13, 2007, 6:02 am CDT

not a friend

dr. phil don't let the friend stay on stage!!

the show was very annoying yesterday in the sense that nothing got accomplished because the friend couldn't even keep her mouth shut even when dr. phil was talking.

she does nothing but poison the situation. get her off stage!! this is not her life!!

and just because she cannot stand on her own two feet and she has to live with them does not give her the right to meddle.

 
September 13, 2007, 6:02 am CDT

He is the perfect Sociopath!

Glibness and Superficial Charm
Manipulative and Conning
Grandiose Sense of Self
Feels entitled to certain things as "their right."
Pathological Lying
Lack of Remorse, Shame or Guilt
Shallow Emotions
Incapacity for Love
Callousness/Lack of Empathy
Poor Behavioral Controls/Impulsive Nature
Rage and abuse, alternating with small expressions of love
Early Behavior Problems/Juvenile Delinquency
Promiscuous Sexual Behavior/Infidelity

.....Good looking too!

 
September 13, 2007, 6:07 am CDT

This is complicated.

This is a multi-faceted situation. So much happened in the past. But, the ONE thing that I can't understand is that if it's true that Brandon really did drug or try to drug any of those nannies, then a crime was committed. Of course Brandon is denying that, but suppossedly Heidi and the wife know this for a fact.(That he put or attempted to put pain pills in at least one nannie's mouth.) If there is any truth to this at all, why in the world don't these girls persue this? Aside from everything else that has been said about Brandon, if he has forced himself on anyone, I would definitely consider him to be a dangerous man. Why in the world have charges never been brought against him? I wonder how DrP is going to figure out what's what in all of this. From watching the 1st show, it appears that Brandon is lying. DrP's mantra is "You can't change what you don't aknowledge."
 
September 13, 2007, 6:10 am CDT

none

 is this working
 
September 13, 2007, 6:15 am CDT

Best Friend ?

If your love is for the children, then how can you let the cheating father stop you from being a part of their lives.  Let go of your own feelings of shame and guilt and rise above.  Is this a Best Friend ?
 
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