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Topic : 12/27 The Nanny Affair, Part 2

Number of Replies: 1150

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Created on : Friday, September 07, 2007, 03:35:05 pm

Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 09/13/07) The saga continues, as Dr. Phil brings you more of the affair that shattered the lives of a husband and wife and her best friend and parents. One year into his marriage, Brandon was caught cheating on his wife, Amy, with their teenage nanny. After fearing for her life, Amy filed a restraining order against Brandon, and he filed for divorce. But, their separation didn't last long. Amy decided to let Brandon back into her life, much to the dismay of her best friend, Heidi, and her parents, Cyndie and Mont. Why does Cyndie say she's scared of Brandon, and why does Mont say he doesn't believe a word Brandon says? Then, how are the kids faring during all of this chaos in the home? Heidi and Cyndie say they worry Brandon's discipline is over the top, but he says he's a loving father. What does Amy have to say? And, why does Dr. Phil question Brandon's sincerity to change? Is there hope this couple can save their marriage or should they call it quits once and for all? Tell us what you think!

Find out what happened on the show.

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gilsgirl

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September 18, 2007, 3:07 pm PDT

09/13 The Nanny Affair, Part 2

Quote From: housewife52

Eons ago, when I was about 15 years old, I babysat briefly for a couple who lived out the road from us. One night, as the dad was taking me home,(about a 2 minute drive) he began to tell me about his wife having problems, not being a wife to him,something along those lines. I said to him, "I don't think you should be telling me this." He immediately said,"You're right, I shouldn't be. I'm sorry." That was the end of it. I told my mother about it and we bother agreed that I wasn't going back.(And I never did.) Even though nothing happened to me, that was a creepy experience. To me he was an "old man". Probably in his thirties at the time. I assume he did that to see how I would respond. I'm thankful nothing worse happened. I had posted a message earlier about this being a problem in our culture in the present day. This happened to me about 38 years ago.

I know exactly how you felt as it happened to me twice and the last time I told my older sister and it turns out he had a history of hitting on teenage sitters and the nice lady I sat for had no idea why she never could keep a sitter till my sister told her. She made some painful phone calls and learned some startling things about her so called devoted husband! If he has a habit like that he wont change. And Like you it was 20 years ago for me and last I know he never did change and she ended up having to leave.

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travelingirl

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September 18, 2007, 4:41 pm PDT

CoDependent

Its sad that both of them are very disfunctional. This is a terrible thing for the children. I too have always been a jerk magnet and have found some salvation in a 12-step program for codependency. I have been fortunate in that I have not included children in my mistakes (I don't have children). Being that there are children involved in this case it is imparitive that both the husband and wife make efforts to resolve their issues. While the marriage may be over they still must co-parent. Hopefully, they can reverse some of the damage done to the children.

I am sure you have recommended not only therapy for both of the parents but also the children and the grandparents. Additionally, the young teens involved must also have some therapy or they too will grow up with low self-esteem and are at risk of unhealthy or troubled relationships. There are also some wonderful books out there that address co-dependent relationships.

Good luck to all. Its amazing how the actions of a few will impact the lives of so many.

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clarpa

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September 18, 2007, 5:49 pm PDT

For Amy

I know that when you separate from your husband it gets very lonely and financially it is hard. I have been there. But the worse thing you could do is take your husband back. Please try and tough it out until he gets well, for your sake and the kids sake. I don't blame your parents if they disown you if he comes back, you are not thinking clearly, they love you and know what is best. Please listen to them. It seems it is the only way they can get you to listen to reason - tough love is what it is called.

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ivy911

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chillin'

September 19, 2007, 7:29 am PDT

09/13 The Nanny Affair, Part 2

It is sad, that grown up people, parents, can be so SELFISH and disregard the impact that our actions have on our children. IT takes two to tangle, He did wrong, she chose to put up with it. Yet as long as there is life there is hope, and if there is a will there is a way.... best of luck, now ONE most want to change, you can lead a horse to the water, but you can not force him to drink it... God bless!

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redhelmetlady

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hopeful

September 19, 2007, 9:02 am PDT

Response to sugarbella

Quote From: sugarbella

Good Lord! There's enough cliche and drama in that "letter to Brandon" to drive anyone batty.

"the fire neds to be extinguished"????? wth?? Is that so Brandon will comprehend what you mean?

It's positively amazing that there are actually women out there who think Brandon is a victim.

I'll repeat it again and again -- looks fade, cruelness stays. Y'all are looking at Brandon because he think he's hot (He's so not) and you can't stand strong women. It's a shame really.

Why are you so angry?

There is good in both Amy and Brandon and what they both need is support. Continuing to tear into them will never help the situation. The fact they are looking for help, recognize that there is a problem with what has occurred in the past, is the first step in changing the future...for all of them. Please don't attack anyone trying to offer support to these people. They need it. That is what real strength is.

Redhelmetlady

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deedee100

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September 19, 2007, 12:53 pm PDT

THERE IS OBVIOUSLY ONE TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THAT MARRIAGE

Is it just me, or is there one too many people in the marriage. There should be two people, not three. They will never be able to get their marriage together, until they both decide to get rid of that friend! She has come between them and that is just sad. The husband will never have a chance as long as Amy's best friend is there. She should "excuse" herself from the situation and let them have a go of it on their own! In other words, she needs to "BUTT OUT", especially if she really cares about those children. They deserve to have their father. He does not need to replaced my Mom's best friend!

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kaydee_37

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September 19, 2007, 1:14 pm PDT

Another Scott Peterson?

Dr. Phil--You're the professional here. I haven't seen both shows yet (I live overseas). Have you considered the possibility that this guy could be a sociopath? This guy seems to have no remorse and only half-heartedly takes responsibiity for his actions. I sure hope child and family services have been contacted regarding his abuse of those defenseless children. But I know you are a dedicated child advocate! I have al faith you've done and/or are doing the right thigns! Thank you for bringing topics such as this to light. They are real life topics. I would like to see more "solutions" rather than a majority of shows that "stay in the problem." Thanks.

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wiraptfamo

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September 19, 2007, 2:00 pm PDT

I Smell Smoke

I think Brandon's pants are on fire.

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jamiewinters

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September 19, 2007, 5:10 pm PDT

the friend needs to butt out!!!

that friend that was sitting up there running her mouth needs to shut up. If she was really her best friend she would support her in any decision she makes. She can voice her opinion but thats it. She keeps butting in where she doesnt belong. Why was she living there in the first place? That alone is unhealthy for a marriage. I dont think Brandon is telling the whole truth but it's his wife he needs to tell it to, not the friend. She should go find her own husband. She says she only calls him names because the names she calls him is what he really is. Gee, I wonder who told her that he is definately the devil reincarnate. wow. she has good sources. They will never be able to work on their marraige as long as that negative friend is in the picture. If they want to make it work then their friends and family should support and help them, not put them down and butt in where they dont belong.

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keno58

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September 19, 2007, 8:58 pm PDT

Hey Amy, Your BFF Is In Love With Your Husband!

I can't believe that Dr. Phil did not confront Heidi, Amy's best friend. This woman was living with this couple, who already had enough problems without her sticking her nose in. She became unhinged when she saw Brandon's car in the driveway, after Amy had a restraining order placed against Brandon. Heidi called Amy's parents, Amy's lawyer and the police. She was beside herself that these two were, in her words, "living happily ever after in ... this house". She was practically foaming at the mouth. I think she is still holding on to the time when Brandon made a half-hearted, drunken pass at her years ago. HEIDI IS IN LOVE WITH BRANDON. Amy may think that Heidi is like her sister. All I can say is, WAKE UP, AMY. She does NOT think of you as a sister. She sees you as her competition, deluding herself into thinking that if you divorce Brandon, that, eventually, SHE will have him. I truly belive that she is psychotic. She says her only concern is for the children. If that were true, she would want these two people, who seem to be still in love with one another, to give it another try. Either way, Brandon and Amy need to work out their own problems together, without ANYONE else butting in. ESPECIALLY NOT HEIDI. (Hey, Heidi, get a life!!)

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