Topic : 12/27 The Nanny Affair, Part 2

We agree with you. Both Amy and Brandon need counciling before or if they get back together. But, this is not a marriage of two but three. Heidi is not Amy's "friend", she is an "irritant". It was very clear that she is and has been against this marriage from the start. We were very surprised that Dr. Phil didn't tell her to "Butt Out" of this marriage and keep her opinions to herself. Heidi has very clearly infulenced Amy and her parents in a negative way toward Brandon.  Brandon clearly has issues that he needs to correct but Heidi doesn't want to help, she wants to control Amy, Brandon and the children. No marriage needs a "Friend" like Heidi.

I'm not sticking up for him either because he's definitely wrong for cheating! However how would she feel if the situation were reversed. Let one of his buddies run the marriage. Does she not realize how often men in uniform get approached by women.And why so many nannies after he cheated? Boot the "friend" (who adds to the problem because he wouldn't give her any) take care of your own kids and pay attention to him more. Marriage is for 2 people not a handful!!!!

 I feel that this is Amy's life and everyone can say whatever they want on how they feel and what they would like to happen, but he truth of the matter is it's up to Amy.  Noone chose everybody else's relationship so dont choose hers.  And as far as the best friend I really think she is un-happy and she seems like she wants Brandon and that he might have turned her down and she is upset with that.  If you listen to her she is very very negative and then she might want Amy herself she needs to get a life of her own and get out of there business.

I was in the same relationship as this woman for over 20 years.  2 years ago I filed for divorce only knowing about 1 affair that was years earlier with my now 'ex' best friend of 7 years.  I loved him with all my heart. I was only 18 yrs old when I met him and am now 40.  Everyone thought we were the perfect couple.  I thought we were meant to be together.  On the outside, I thought he loved me and would never hurt me...on the inside, I lived with fear that I would lose my husband because even though he said he loved me, I Didn't FEEL It.

During the last 2 years, I checked into therapy and while he was trying to convince me he loves me, he confessed, after finding God, to 5 other women during the 1st 10 years of our marriage.  That's 6 women he confessed to and I had about 21 other names during and since then.  His phone still rings and he still lies about it being a guy from school when I could hear a female.  He doesn't own up to what he did because he says it's in the past even though he'd just dropped them in my lap.

I hope Amy realizes and her therapist tells her:  he's considered: "INCURABLE"!!!  They, the Incurables, Lie, Manipulate and emotionally blackmails you...THEY LIVE FOR THEMSELVES AND THEIR OWN SATISFACTION AT WHATEVER COST TO YOUR OWN WELL BEING AND WHO YOU ARE.

I went to court on December 19th, 2007, to get my divorce finalized.  He also made the comment about medical that Amy's husband made...the Judge ordered him to pay my medical insurance for 1 year, added Alimony and upped my child support and retirement portion of his military pay.

The day after I went to court, I questioned if I did the right thing by letting my husband go.  Thankfully, my best friend Jennifer, reminded me he would never Value me.  Only himself.  She made me look back and remember all the abuse and told me how strong I was and to move forward, that he could never change because he would only still be a Mirage of what I hoped he would be.

Amy, continue Therapy...Move Forward and Don't LQQk Back!!!  He doesn't deserve YOU!  He will never change...he's, like my ex husband, a wolf in sheep's clothing.  Don't waste 20 years like I did.  Learn from what you've gone through, rise up with your children and be the strong, beautiful woman that you ARE!

Sincerely,

Christine

Heidi has a great point, and Amy should listen to her advice. She is just trying to help her because she cares for her.

I do beleive these two have issues, and need to concentrate on fixing them for their childrens sake, and if they want to stay together.

I am surprised that Dr. Phil didn't tell the "best Friend" to butt out. She is certainly crossing over her boundaries into their marrieage.  In no way should a wife recommend a friend to handle the finances, for example.

I think she can stay a friend to the wife, but she needs to remove herself from their marriage. The husband doesn't need to deal with her always being around.