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Topic : 11/22 Saboteurs

Number of Replies: 988
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Created on : Friday, September 07, 2007, 03:36:27 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 9/14/07) Do you know someone who smiles to your face, but schemes and maneuvers behind your back? Dr. Phil takes on saboteurs –-people who undermine others for their own personal gain. First up, Linda claims her daughter-in-law, Deanna, is a master manipulator. Linda says Deanna is so set on keeping her son and grandchildren away that she has allegedly bruised, scratched, pushed and verbally attacked her. Deanna says Linda is causing the vicious divide, and that it’s high time her mother-in-law stop playing the victim. Will the women ever stop pointing fingers at each other? Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

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September 8, 2007, 10:51 pm CDT

You're The Best~~

Dear Dr. Phil & Robin~~

 

 Just a little letter to tell you "Congratulation's" on your new up and coming 6th season~ Dr. Phil I personally want to let you know what a great help that your show has been to me.  I honestly look forward to each and every one of your shows!!  If I cannot be home when it's on...I tape it, and watch it as soon as I get in!!  I truly believe that you have given all of your guests the absolute best advice that they could hope for!  You truly care about each individual, and it shows~~ In the past say "15" years or so, I've watched just about all of the talk show hosts, and I can honestly say that you are (In my book, and I'm sure in millions of others) "Number One"!!  I don't have to tell you this I know, but your wife Robin is also amazing!!  I have not had the opportunity to read any of you or Robin's books yet, but hope that one day soon ... I will~  I can't begin to tell you how many shows that have brought me to tears, but I know in my heart that I was not alone...I'm sure that many,many of your other viewers could relate~  I just love the fact that you are so concerned about the children, and tell each and every parent that comes on to your show, that those "Children" is basically the reason you answered their letter to begin with!  I probably will never get the opportunity to meet you in person, but I hope that you do read this, and see that you truly do touch the hearts of so many!!  I can't hardly wait for the new "6th" season to start, according to your commercials,  it looks to be great!  Dr. Phil, I'm just one little lady from "Virginia", but I'm sure that you have millions of viewers that love your show, as much as I do!  You're the "Best"~~ Thank-you so much for your time, take care, and most importantly..."God Bless you and your family"~~

 

Mrs. Cindy Stowell

Hampton, Virginia

 
September 9, 2007, 12:34 am CDT

Savoteurs

It is my guess that this woman was abused at some point in her life not only sexually, but in other forms and thus has such a low self esteem of herself that now she is out giving away her body.

I did that as well for several years, but I never understood why until I retrieved my own memory of  my sexual assault some  30   odd years  ago    until it was triggered one evening at an abuse support group I had been attending at the time.

 

It was once I worked it through with my therapist that I understood why I had done what I did. It is my hope that this woman goes into therapy if she isn't already and address whatever issues may be buried and covered up for years so that she too can start seeing herself in a different light and not abuse her own body.

 
September 9, 2007, 8:37 am CDT

Actually...

Quote From: dconant

Why not see Sherri's side.  He husband knows and does not object to her men.  She is happy with the arrangement and he must be, or else, why does he stay.  She has no illness, just lust. Since she is not "in love," with these men either, she just wants diversity. If he is happy sharing, fine. If he is not, leave. If he wants the same thing, she would have nothing to say. I personally think any time a man or woman cheats, the marriage is over, but some people live this way.  My morals are offended, but that is between these two people.
I have to say that by coming on the DrP show and allowing us to see and hear what is going on, that is AMONG these 2 people,DrP and us faithful viewers.
 
September 9, 2007, 11:49 am CDT

Saboteurs helped kick me out of my own business

   My ex husband and I were working on reconciling our marriage,  but with the help of an employee saboteuring this was not to be. She wanted me to kick my ex out, saying he was abusive and mean to me. I told her I could never do this explaining that we both owned this business. I had to be off work for a few weeks for sugery, and she took this time  to talk my ex husband into kicking me out of my business. She now has my position in the business and is the only one, because my ex is computer illiterate, that has online access to our  business acount. At this point I really do not have trust in anyone. Even lawyers seem to be lingering, as this has been ongoing for a 1 and a half years. .My ex told me that I would be the sorriest b......... to walk the face of the earth for divorcing him, and so far this is becoming true. I owe my lawyer thousands and I only get my wage from the business. So who do you suppose will win ? I see now why  women tollerate abuse.
 
September 9, 2007, 4:45 pm CDT

cheaters

 She cheats on him because he allowes it.  I don't think it is an illness I think it is a response.  If her husband does not want her to sleep with other men then he needs to not allow it, even if it means leaving her.  People treat you how you allow them to treat you. 
In the case of the saboteurs if someone is causing problems that effects your life then it might be time to cut that person out of your life untill they can behave in a positive mannor.  I just had to do this to my brother, I have not spoken to him now for 3 weeks and he lives 2 doors down. I also did not invite him  to my sons birthday party.  When his actions stop effecting my life then i will let him back in.  I think that is the best way to deal with a "saboteur"
 
September 9, 2007, 7:49 pm CDT

I am with ya honey

Quote From: trishaengstrom

My mother and my father along with my stepmom decided to try to ruin my life and my family life.  They have tried to manipulate all of my children and actually got them to talk my oldest child into coming up with horrible accusations which I had to prove wrong and now my daughter says she just believed what they were telling her.  My stepmom has always been jealous of my father and my relationship and enjoys whenever we are fighting.  My mom and stepmom got together and both tried to ruin my life and they only went out to take 2 of my 4 children and I was 8 months pregnant with my 5th child.  I had to prove all 3 of them wrong by ending up talking to Child protective services, which dropped all charges after speaking to myself and my daughter.  My mom has admitted to all that she did, my stepmom has admitted to some, but is keeping very secretive and my father has not came clean and probably will never.  My dad and I do not speak.  I think that it is very disgusting what my own family did to myself and my children.

I know how you feel.I have had to go through hell with my in-laws.It got so bad me and my husband almost divorced,and he is my sole mate.They just do not know when to quit.They will be as sweet as can be to your face,you turn your back,and its all over with.My advice to you live for you and your kids,there just jealous thats all it is.Goodluck!
 
September 10, 2007, 12:06 am CDT

Sad story but nothing compared to what I've been living with for over 30 years!

It is really hard to read what I just read but to be honest it isn't nothing compare to what I have been living with for 30 years from my X-wife and her whole family. Day we got married, she went  home to her parents home without me and and yes another woman showed me love. OK, I'm a low down SOB for not standing up to my new bride and telling her we were going to stay at the motel and tell her parent the next morning but I let her wear the pants on that one! After 5 years of marrage it went into the tolet and 2 children later.

Years passed and I alway supported my first family but I went on with my life and started another family but supported both and it wasn't easy. I became disabled after a terrible accident that almost cost me my life and my right leg. That night my x-wife was called incase I didn't make it and she couldn't be bothered. MY children from my first marrage have been lied too by her whole family and they still are today! Here's the extent to what she and they have done. My daughter was touched by her grandfather and they all have said it was an accident even have my daughter convinced it was.My x- wife became a nurse adn got busted for stealing meds from patence's and lost her nursing license. Her sister is been dealing drugs for over 40 years and still is and when I wanted my daughter who became a single parent at 16 to move to northern CA to finish high school her grandmother and mother said I was a drug addict and she wouldn't be safe with me and with my 2nd wife and children (4). My x-wife has used the welfare and Social Securty  System's as her person agencys to her advandage's. She even went as far after my daughter turned 18 and I was no longer to pay child support to call the Social Securty Office in Northern CA and tell them that I was the father of my GRAND-DAUGHTER and they contacted me and I told them get the police do DNA and I will sue both the worker, and Social Securty System and put my x-wife in jail for for filing a false government document. The worker  had her suppervisior get on the phone and they decided not to call the police because I told them it was against the LAW, n against my upbringing for me to ever touch a child much less my own. They dismissed the document but I would give anything to get my x-wife on Dr. Phil and take all three lie detector test to show my children what a SABOTEUR their mother and whole family are. These people think they have it bad, well they do with the first one and the second one but excuse me if i don't get all upset so they can get their 15 minutes of fame on teh Dr. Phil show. Get rid of the mother-in-law by moving at least 500 miles away from her. To the other guy, get a divorce and let her go work in the whore houses in Nevada where she will be happy sleeping with all the other guys she wants to, GET A BACK BONE! She isn't sick you are. Now I hope that the Dr. Phil will allow these two different case's read my message and then reflect on their stories and see it's real simple the advice that I gave!!!!!!!!!!!!! Don't have to be Dr. Phil to figure these out, "just move for the first one and get a divorce for the second one!"

 
September 10, 2007, 12:32 am CDT

TO Staff, POST MY 1STSTORY

Let them read what a real family of SABOTEURS are that I wrote about and I understand what real pain is and I feel sorry for the one's that are being hurt but it's time to make a stand for both of them and if reading my first message isn't a tragic life I've had to live with then I guess I don't know what a real Saboteur family is. It has csot me my oldest daughter and my two grand-daughter, and yesterday was my 59th birthday on Sept. 8th and I never get a phone call nor a birthday card even though I always send and call, but I'm still broken hearted all because of what a family of Saboteurs can do to the children. As You say Dr. Phil, "A child woudl rather say that they are from a broken home then are living in one!"

I'm from a broken home and I'm a divorced man but I have been with my second wife for the last 28 years now and still am in love with her and we have beaten the odds. Good Luck, and GOD Bless the CHILDREN!

 
September 10, 2007, 3:58 am CDT

What are the saboteurs really getting out of their deception?

My saboteurs are my mother, sister, and daughter -- but the source has been my mother.  My mother appears to the world as a pious, devoted Christian instead of the alcoholic who hides her drinking in a web of lies.  Everyone in the family hides the truth and my crime was trying to get her to face what her life is like and live a better life, not public humiliation because it can be done privately. 

 

My mother's life as a saboteur stems from her low self esteem and she wants to make me look small and have less success so she is the bigger person and better person.  I believe all saboteurs want are their own egos bolstered and they really don't care who their victims are. 

 

The only safe way to avoid the arrows of saboteurs is to get out of their radar.  I am trying to do this very thing at age 56 by moving from the northeast to the south and I will not permit any visits to see me, I'll visit or send whatever is needed if I have it.  Case closed.  It takes too much energy to fight saboteurs and what you gain out of being proved right is so little compared to the joys in life that could have been enjoyed with that precious time.  Time and a lifetime are just too short.

 

 
September 11, 2007, 2:26 am CDT

You hit the nail on the HEAD!

Quote From: juneray

My saboteurs are my mother, sister, and daughter -- but the source has been my mother.  My mother appears to the world as a pious, devoted Christian instead of the alcoholic who hides her drinking in a web of lies.  Everyone in the family hides the truth and my crime was trying to get her to face what her life is like and live a better life, not public humiliation because it can be done privately. 

 

My mother's life as a saboteur stems from her low self esteem and she wants to make me look small and have less success so she is the bigger person and better person.  I believe all saboteurs want are their own egos bolstered and they really don't care who their victims are. 

 

The only safe way to avoid the arrows of saboteurs is to get out of their radar.  I am trying to do this very thing at age 56 by moving from the northeast to the south and I will not permit any visits to see me, I'll visit or send whatever is needed if I have it.  Case closed.  It takes too much energy to fight saboteurs and what you gain out of being proved right is so little compared to the joys in life that could have been enjoyed with that precious time.  Time and a lifetime are just too short.

 

Good For You! I moved 17 years ago 700 miles north from Southern California with my second family to get away from my X-Wife and here whole family and also from my second wife's family as well. It work great all the way around except that I lost my oldest daughter to her mother and that whole side of the X-wife's family including my two granddaughter's and that's that sadest part of my x-wife's crap. My second wife and our four children we had to tell my mother-in-law after my wifes father died and she had threatened us that id we didn't kiss her butt when he died she wouldn't call and she kept that promise. Well, we then told her that she could never call or come to visit us or ever see the four children until they turned 18 and it would be up to them to go visit her. Only one out of the four was ever her favorite and that one does talk to her but keeps out family business out and away from her grandmother. It has been a real heart break but it was the best thing to do and I wish you all the happiness, love, and the quiter life you will have even though it is going to be hard somedays you will weather it just fine. I'm now 59 and still in love with my wife and have a great relationship with 5 out of six of my children and two of my four grandchildren adn so will you. God Bless and Good Luck and God will restore your life in leaps and bounds. Life is too short I just had my 60th surgery and I have a few more yet but life away from all of them has been great and I would do it all over again the same way. Take Care, Will
 
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