Well, this show speaks of my ex-husband and his wife. Since I divorced him, and even more recently since moving one hour away from the base where he is stationed, they seem hell-bent on getting our two boys away from our home here and keeping them as much as possible in their town. My first clue that things were going to be hellacious should have been when he told me he would beg at his "dying father's bedside for whatever money it took to make sure (I) never (took) our kids from (him)." He even promised to bankrupt me if he had to, going in and out of court to stop me at every turn. (Great, huh?)
My ex places our children directly in the middle of issues that they do not need to be involved in. After not getting his way for swapping a weekend, for example, he tells the boys about what their step-mom had planned for them, gets them to ask me (again, but without knowing he and I already spoke) to see if they can go. He refuses to bring the boys to their soccer games, a league they were both signed up for last year when we moved and again this year as that was what they really wanted to do, yet will not listen to their requests to bring them to their games on weekends he has them, won't come see them play, signs them up for a league in his town, much to the boys' protests, as they know that is even less chance they will be coming to play with their teams here. My ex has refused to allow the boys to be a part of their step-sisters' birthday parties, though the parties took place 10 minutes from his home and the boys would only be gone for maybe 2 hours out of "his time with them". On the first weekend of the soccer season in my ex's town, he refused to tell me where the boys' games were and my family was forced to drive around town trying to locate one out of numerous soccer games going on that day before we finally found my younger son's game, then found out he lied to us about the time of the game, wouldn't tell us about my older son's games except what town it was in, saying he couldn't remember the name of the field or where it was. Fortunately my husband knows that town well and took off to go find it and my older son in his soccer game, and shortly thereafter, my ex took left our younger son's game to make it to the field because our first son's game had ended, so again, he lied about the time of HIS game as well.
It is a very twisted, convoluted mess that our kids are sorely in the middle of. This manipulation and control that my ex feels no shame about continuing only hurts them and adds so much stress to my family. While we are divorced, he seems to feel he needs to keep our lives totally embroiled and will stop at nothing to pull the boys away from our home here. They miss seeing their baby sister, their step-sisters, their school friends, sporting events, school events...the list just goes on. My husband and I did not move to get the boys away from their father, as he would like others to believe. We moved for other very rational reasons. The boys are not getting equal down time at all between their two homes and I am at my limit with veiled threats toward me and manipulation of our children.
My ex and I are trying to go through a program , mediation of sorts, to try to find a better way of communication with each other for the best interests of our kids. Our sessions have only been a way for him to further lie about what has gone on, either history with us or in the present, to manipulate, as he is master at doing, someone who doesn't know us at all. He sends email that only completely frustrates and angers my husband, yet my husband's hands are tied while my ex and I are seeing this mediator. My husband cannot answer email to set my ex straight or give his opinion, facts, side of anything. The boys are getting more and more stressed by having what they tell their father fall on deaf ears. While we try to keep the issues away from them, there is only so much we can do. Without the same consideration of the second home they live at, we are fighting an uphill battle.
People need to understand kids cannot handle adult issues. THEY ARE CHILDREN!!!!!! WE ARE THE GROWN-UPS AND NEED TO ACT AS ADULTS!!!!!
(Original Air Date: 9/14/07) Do you know someone who smiles to your face, but schemes and maneuvers behind your back? Dr. Phil takes on saboteurs –-people who undermine others for their own personal gain. First up, Linda claims her daughter-in-law, Deanna, is a master manipulator. Linda says Deanna is so set on keeping her son and grandchildren away that she has allegedly bruised, scratched, pushed and verbally attacked her. Deanna says Linda is causing the vicious divide, and that it’s high time her mother-in-law stop playing the victim. Will the women ever stop pointing fingers at each other? Share your thoughts, join the discussion.
